Elvis has left the room.
Early to bed, early to rise. I like it a lot. My days feel longer and more full. And the people at my work are really cool too. Mostly women. I thrive in that environment. I've really missed human interaction. Well sort of. My desk it right across from the break room, so I'm constantly being eyeballed. I wish, I could blend in better and still look the way I want. Why is a pompadour such a 'funny' thing to people. It's only hair. I don't sit around thinking about women night and day anymore. I've gotten laid a couple times, which was okay. I mean it wasn't that great. Nothing to write home about, but still good to get out of my system. I hadn't heard my name whispered in my ear in a very long time. When someone worth dating comes along, they come along. I'm not going to drive myself crazy thinking about it.
The isolation that welcomes me when I get home, does not bother me anymore. Not one bit now. This is what I intended to be doing all along when I moved to Tempe. Work, eat, sleep, save, and get my shit paid off. Bide my time and JUST DO IT. Now that I have no band, no girl, and no distractions... I can actually do it. I have to do it. No choices anymore. This is long overdue. I gotta be honest. I really love this right now.
And this ain't no line baby. I'm making real changes.
Cigarettes: GONE.
Pain Pills: GONE.
I have money and the resources to get more but....I WON'T. I'm not.
The other night at Bookman's I finally got the comic book I'd been wanting since I was ten years old. The 'Maximum Carnage' series that the popular video game was based on.
It's fucking TITS man.
Billy just keeps getting more and more awesome. He's all I look forward to in the week. His birthday is this Wednesday and I can't wait. Got him some toys. Iron Man, Venom, and a Terminator. Even fixed up his room finally, and put his own DVD player and TV in there. Also got him a big Spider-Man/X-Men poster. He loves it. God damn, he is so great. Nothing else matters.
Can feel myself shedding skin and it feels good. Like slipping into a hot bath, nice and slowly. I've begun a workout regiment that I've been following strictly. I have nothing and no one to distract me. It's fucking great. I just spend my time reading a lot, watching a SHIT LOAD of National Geographic stuff, and keeping the writing going. I get my type writer out in 3 weeks. Possibly next week. I'm developing patience and trying to remain calm. I realized that all I've ever done is worry and stress out all the time. How long do I expect to live, constantly in that state of mind? It would be nice to get out of the house though. Even for just one night. One night of pure, reckless, abandon, would really hit the spot. I want to cut loose. I want to have that crazy stare in my eye again. But not now.
I know there will be a time for kicks eventually, this just isn't that time period.
This is work.
This is Mesa.
Hope everyone is doing good,
Daniel M. Valdez Jr.