This week is going to be a better week.
"This week is going to be a better week."
That's my mantra right now. I had a huge family drama-bomb dropped on me over the weekend. But I'm not going to relay it here. What I will say is that I finally sat down and wrote a very lengthy email to my mother. I dunno how she felt about the whole thing but I felt better after writing it. I think sometimes I internalize these things too much and then they eat at my psyche. It was hard to tell my mother I never felt like a child, that I felt like I didn't so much raise myself as that I always understood things far beyond what most kids do. Or to tell her that I feel like I can't rely on her to be my mother right now because she's too busy dealing with her own problems to have time/energy to support me through my struggles.
My foot started looking better and then it started bruising to a blackish purple color across the toes. Apparently I'm over-doing it. But what am I supposed to do? Not walk to get my kid? Not do my dishes? Not go shopping or wash laundry? It's not like it's a life or death injury. But if I can be totally honest here... it still hurts quite a bit and it's so dang tender on the top of the foot. I told everyone it feels fine because I hate when people think I'm seeking sympathy and it really is a silly injury to be incapacitating me. lol *sigh* The real issue is that I can't use my toes on that foot so my heel is getting really sore and my right leg is aching from the compensating weight transfer. I feel so stupid limping around.
So I had this weird dream last night. There was a foot of standing water in my kitchen and I was standing at my sink ankle deep in it but I dunno where it was coming from. And I looked over at someone on my couch and commented on it but I couldn't remember what was said. Then next thing I know I have blood in my mouth and it tastes horrible and bitter (my close confidants know I actually like the taste of blood IRL as embarrassing and gross as that is) which was weird. And I'm running up these stairs in what seems like a library trying to get out of a white door with a window in it. On the otherside is a girl who looks kind of like an idealized version of myself now that I'm giving it some deeper thought. She's young, maybe 17-19ish and she hisses at me and holds up a set of black rosary beads with a little black crucifix hanging from the bottom and then she's gone and I can't get the door open.
My interpretation I did this morning didn't really shed a lot of light on what my subconcious was trying to work through or tell me. But it was some interesting imagery to say the least. I was also pretty stoked to realize I tasted something in my dream. I don't remember ever being able to taste something in my dreams before.
And while we're somewhat hinting at vampiresque imagery... did anyone catch True Blood's premiere? We don't get HBO and I was hoping I could find it somewhere online. I really wanted to watch the damn show. I neeeeed some TV right now. I've just felt that need to curl up with a blanket on the sofa and be a total veggie. Part of me doesn't wanna get into it for fear it'll get canceled like Blood Ties and Moonlight did. I never did get a chance to even see Moonlight. True Blood looks really good though. The gals over at Amazon's paranormal romance forum (one of my secret haunts) had mixed opinions on it. I think I may look into getting HBO added to our cable service if it's not too expensive. I just don't want to put iTunes on my 'puter and then pay $2 for the damn episodes if it'd be cheaper to add the channel. Not like we wouldn't make good use of having a movie channel.
There's some stuff bugging me I kinda wanna blog about but I'm just not ready. But here's one just for the hell of it...
I have a lot of reading to do this week. I got an ARC of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. woot! Not really thinking I'll like it but meh. I'm trying to finish up Unquiet Dreams by Mark Del Franco. I finished Night Shift by Lilith Saintcrow over the weekend. I'm so damn behind on book reviews it's not even funny. I reviewed Cry Wolf by Patricia Briggs and only gave it three stars. Why? Because I go by Amazon's rating system (* I hated it. ** I didn't like it. *** It's okay. **** I liked it. ***** I loved it.). I just didn't really like the book. It was so NOT Patty Brigg's best writing. I mean the woman writes a series set in my hometown and one set here in Montana... it's like she's writing FOR ME! lol So pardon me if I just didn't fall in love with the one set here. Anyways someone comes by my review and comments "I liked the book." and then marks my review as unhelpful. Just because she disagreed with my opinion.
Well bleh I gots a phone call and it's getting late anyway. TTFN!
That's my mantra right now. I had a huge family drama-bomb dropped on me over the weekend. But I'm not going to relay it here. What I will say is that I finally sat down and wrote a very lengthy email to my mother. I dunno how she felt about the whole thing but I felt better after writing it. I think sometimes I internalize these things too much and then they eat at my psyche. It was hard to tell my mother I never felt like a child, that I felt like I didn't so much raise myself as that I always understood things far beyond what most kids do. Or to tell her that I feel like I can't rely on her to be my mother right now because she's too busy dealing with her own problems to have time/energy to support me through my struggles.
My foot started looking better and then it started bruising to a blackish purple color across the toes. Apparently I'm over-doing it. But what am I supposed to do? Not walk to get my kid? Not do my dishes? Not go shopping or wash laundry? It's not like it's a life or death injury. But if I can be totally honest here... it still hurts quite a bit and it's so dang tender on the top of the foot. I told everyone it feels fine because I hate when people think I'm seeking sympathy and it really is a silly injury to be incapacitating me. lol *sigh* The real issue is that I can't use my toes on that foot so my heel is getting really sore and my right leg is aching from the compensating weight transfer. I feel so stupid limping around.
So I had this weird dream last night. There was a foot of standing water in my kitchen and I was standing at my sink ankle deep in it but I dunno where it was coming from. And I looked over at someone on my couch and commented on it but I couldn't remember what was said. Then next thing I know I have blood in my mouth and it tastes horrible and bitter (my close confidants know I actually like the taste of blood IRL as embarrassing and gross as that is) which was weird. And I'm running up these stairs in what seems like a library trying to get out of a white door with a window in it. On the otherside is a girl who looks kind of like an idealized version of myself now that I'm giving it some deeper thought. She's young, maybe 17-19ish and she hisses at me and holds up a set of black rosary beads with a little black crucifix hanging from the bottom and then she's gone and I can't get the door open.
My interpretation I did this morning didn't really shed a lot of light on what my subconcious was trying to work through or tell me. But it was some interesting imagery to say the least. I was also pretty stoked to realize I tasted something in my dream. I don't remember ever being able to taste something in my dreams before.
And while we're somewhat hinting at vampiresque imagery... did anyone catch True Blood's premiere? We don't get HBO and I was hoping I could find it somewhere online. I really wanted to watch the damn show. I neeeeed some TV right now. I've just felt that need to curl up with a blanket on the sofa and be a total veggie. Part of me doesn't wanna get into it for fear it'll get canceled like Blood Ties and Moonlight did. I never did get a chance to even see Moonlight. True Blood looks really good though. The gals over at Amazon's paranormal romance forum (one of my secret haunts) had mixed opinions on it. I think I may look into getting HBO added to our cable service if it's not too expensive. I just don't want to put iTunes on my 'puter and then pay $2 for the damn episodes if it'd be cheaper to add the channel. Not like we wouldn't make good use of having a movie channel.
There's some stuff bugging me I kinda wanna blog about but I'm just not ready. But here's one just for the hell of it...
I have a lot of reading to do this week. I got an ARC of The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. woot! Not really thinking I'll like it but meh. I'm trying to finish up Unquiet Dreams by Mark Del Franco. I finished Night Shift by Lilith Saintcrow over the weekend. I'm so damn behind on book reviews it's not even funny. I reviewed Cry Wolf by Patricia Briggs and only gave it three stars. Why? Because I go by Amazon's rating system (* I hated it. ** I didn't like it. *** It's okay. **** I liked it. ***** I loved it.). I just didn't really like the book. It was so NOT Patty Brigg's best writing. I mean the woman writes a series set in my hometown and one set here in Montana... it's like she's writing FOR ME! lol So pardon me if I just didn't fall in love with the one set here. Anyways someone comes by my review and comments "I liked the book." and then marks my review as unhelpful. Just because she disagreed with my opinion.
Well bleh I gots a phone call and it's getting late anyway. TTFN!