Journaling again?
Well hell... been going through a lot lately. Like major drama.
Been wanting to just sit down and vent away here but it's been so long since I've actively journaled I've felt weird about it. I mean why come back to journaling regularly just to whine?
Been having really weird vivid dreams and nightmares lately. I haven't had nightmares in a very long time so the sudden rise of them is... discomfiting I think is the word I'm looking for.
On top of it I've been feeling very defiant in general. I'm sick of a lot of shit in my life and people in it. I've actually felt like I could almost cut blood relations out of my life completely. What holds me back is fear. I've been afraid since I was a kid that someday when I need them they won't be there. It's kinda fucked when you keep people in your life because you think you may need them (be able to make use of them) someday.
What's interesting today? Today my younger brother and his fiance are at the hospital. She's pregnant and had tons of complications so she'd being induced. They are having a girl if the sonogram pics are to be believed. Of course I have to find all this out from mom. My brother has nothing to do with me. But whatever. I just hope they changed their minds about the name they had picked for the baby. Otherwise I'll be picking a new middle name for the baby girl I want to have someday. :P
Ah well, anyway... I needed to just write a ramble to kick this whole journaling to keep my sanity thing again.
Been wanting to just sit down and vent away here but it's been so long since I've actively journaled I've felt weird about it. I mean why come back to journaling regularly just to whine?
Been having really weird vivid dreams and nightmares lately. I haven't had nightmares in a very long time so the sudden rise of them is... discomfiting I think is the word I'm looking for.
On top of it I've been feeling very defiant in general. I'm sick of a lot of shit in my life and people in it. I've actually felt like I could almost cut blood relations out of my life completely. What holds me back is fear. I've been afraid since I was a kid that someday when I need them they won't be there. It's kinda fucked when you keep people in your life because you think you may need them (be able to make use of them) someday.
What's interesting today? Today my younger brother and his fiance are at the hospital. She's pregnant and had tons of complications so she'd being induced. They are having a girl if the sonogram pics are to be believed. Of course I have to find all this out from mom. My brother has nothing to do with me. But whatever. I just hope they changed their minds about the name they had picked for the baby. Otherwise I'll be picking a new middle name for the baby girl I want to have someday. :P
Ah well, anyway... I needed to just write a ramble to kick this whole journaling to keep my sanity thing again.