The Last White Gift
Title: The Last White Gift
Chapter: 1/1
Author: misfitmisfit
Original Story by: atmosphere_zero
Genre: Angst, Romance, Yaoi, AU
Rating: PG
Warnings: Not that I know of ^^;;
Pairing: Kai (the Gazette) x Rui (Vistlip)
Disclaimer: I don't anything except for the story line (sorta, XD). This is a pure work of fiction and any similarities are pure coincidences. ^^;
Summary: He had so much to say, but they would remain forever locked within the depths of his heart.
Comments: Hello, this is my first time writing a fan fiction! So ummm, yeah, I read atmosphere_zero's story and I couldn't help myself from writing from Rui's point of view. XD Enjoy! X)
Rui looked in the mirror and mouthed the words, the precious words that always choked him before he could say it. He closed his eyes and an image of Kai appeared. Rui’s face tingled with joy. He couldn’t help smiling. Today he would definitely tell Kai, even if he had to strangle those words out of his own throat.
Rui picked up a black and white beaded bracelet from his nightstand. He fingered the smooth wooden beads admiring all the K’s and R’s he had carved into each bead. He pulled back his sleeve to look at the time on his watch. Yikes, it was almost time to go. Hanging around his wrist next to his watch was an identical bracelet. Rui slipped the other one into his pocket. He pulled his jacket off of his desk chair and ran out.
Rui walked as fast as his legs could take him. He thought of the time schedule. The bus came around 8:30PM, then he would walk to the station. That would take about ten minutes, and the train would arrive at 9:30PM. Finally, he would be able to make it to the park at 10:00PM, give or take ten minutes of walking from the station to the park.
Rui came to the bus stop and waited under the shelter. He hated being out alone at night, but for Kai, he could do anything. Tomorrow was the beginning of finals for Rui. That was probably a better reason why he shouldn’t even be out tonight, but Kai rarely called out of the blue. Rui remembered the last time Kai called like this they had gone to the beach. That night Rui noticed tremendous pain hidden within Kai’s soft eyes. Rui yearned to hug Kai to shoulder some of that pain, but Rui knew better than to press Kai’s vulnerable walls. Although they said nothing as they walked along the shore letting the waves lap at their bare feet, Rui felt his heart connect with Kai’s. He could feel Kai’s initial pain and sorrow diminish as they walked closely side-by-side surrounded by the low roar of the peaceful ocean waves against the velvet night sky.
The bus rolled up and Rui paid his fare. He quickly picked a vacant seat near the front. He would only sit anywhere remotely towards the back if Kai were here. As the bus sped past several stops, Rui stared out at the blaze of lights zooming by against the night sky. Time flew by so quickly. He was already in his junior year of college, and planning for the future. Rui wondered if Kai would be willing to move with him to start a new life once Rui graduated.
Rui arrived at the train station. He was getting closer to seeing Kai. Rui’s fingers trembled as he put the quarters into the machine to buy his train pass. He pushed a few buttons and the machine spit out the pass. His sweaty, trembling hands dropped the pass as he went to retrieve it. Rui took in several deep breaths and looked around to see if anyone saw his stupidity. He quickly ran to the escalator to wait at his train platform. Why was he feeling so jittery just like he did right before a test? Kai was his best friend, and this wasn’t the first they had met at night.
At the platform, Rui caught sight of a girl pushing a distraught guy away from her. Rui tried not to stare, but his ears burned at the words coming out of that girl’s mouth.
“I never liked you that way. I just never told you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Now please, let go of me!” The girl swung her purse in midair as the guy tried to get close to her. Then she ran right past Rui with tears streaming down her face.
Rui’s heart began to pound uncomfortably against his chest. He took out Kai’s bracelet and ran his fingers over the smoothly carved wooden beads again. One K, one R, one K, one R linked together forever. He looked to his own wrist and chuckled silently at his foolish creativity. He carved the K on white beads for his own bracelet, but on Kai’s he carved R on the white beads. Kai probably wouldn’t even notice, and might even call him foolish. But that only meant that Kai really cared.
The station chimed announcing the arrival of Rui’s train. He took a seat next to the window, even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to see much of anything at this hour. As the train rolled out of the station, Rui felt his eyelids become heavy. He jolted awake when he felt the train hastily stop. Rui rubbed his eyes and realized this was his stop. He quickly stumbled off the train and paused to stretch. He wondered if Kai had been waiting long. Worried, he hurried out of the station to the park.
At the park, Rui spotted Kai sitting at a bench. He held his breath to keep from shouting out Kai’s name. As he walked softly towards Kai, he resisted the urge to rush over and throw his arms around Kai. He could hear his own heart pounding against the silence of the night.
Finally Rui spoke, “Kai-chan, what did you call me out here for… especially at a time like this?”
Without turning around, Kai said, “Hey … Rui-san.”
Rui’s heart almost skipped a beat when he saw Kai slip the handkerchief in his pocket. The memories rushed back from that Valentine’s Day. He remembered Kai asking him if he got any chocolates.
“I got some, but I gave them away to those who didn’t get any.” Rui shrugged.
Kai almost chuckled, “Why would you give away free chocolate? One of these days, you’re going to regret being so nice.”
Rui let out a sigh. It would still be a long time before Kai would trust anyone, but Rui understood that Kai’s past didn’t exactly allow room for that type of comfort.
Rui remembered, “Hey, did you get any chocolates?”
Kai snorted, “Of course not, but I did get this weird handkerchief.”
“You… you don’t like it?” Rui hesitantly asked.
“It’s so useless. In what era do people still use handkerchiefs?” Kai shook his head as he stuffed it back into his pocket.
Rui burned with the desire to tell him that he personally learned how to sew it just for him, but somehow Rui felt Kai might not accept the gift afterwards. “Well, I’m sure whoever made it for you must really like you.”
Kai didn’t say anything for the rest of the way home just like now. He sat on the bench seemingly lost in deep thought. Rui took a seat beside him and imagined leaning his head against Kai’s shoulder. If only Rui had enough confidence to make the first move, but he was afraid of breaching Kai’s protective barrier.
“It’s been such a long time since we last spoke face-to-face.” Rui mentioned casually.
He noticed Kai squirm slightly, but Rui scooted closer to him. He relished this bubbly, warm feeling he got whenever he was with Kai. Rui looked over and saw a fresh cut on Kai’s handsome face.
Instinctively, Rui reached out and stroked Kai’s cheekbone. Kai gently pulled Rui’s hands away and stared back at him momentarily with those pain-stricken, but gentle eyes. “Nothing! I’m fine. You’re always such a worry wart.”
Rui’s heart sank. He wished Kai could be more open with him. “Who did this to you? Is it someone you work with? Your father? Your neighbor?”
Rui immediately saw Kai’s eyes shift away from him. He knew he probably shouldn’t have brought up the issue, but Rui couldn’t help himself wanting to be more a part of Kai’s life. He loved him.
“Come on, Rui-san. You’re being mean. Accusing false crimes and false perpetrators. I didn’t call you to talk about other people.” Kai stared off in the distance.
Rui looked at Kai’s hands and his heart started to race. He looked at his own hands, then back at Kai’s hands. He bit his lower lip as he tentatively reached out towards Kai’s hands.
“Kai-chan, I worry about you.” Rui placed his hand on Kai’s, hoping Kai wouldn’t shrink away this time.
Kai let Rui do this and burst out laughing, “Get real. If anything, I have to protect you from getting swindled or beaten up by thugs.”
“I’m being serious.” Rui pretended to be wounded by pursing his lips into a pout.
Kai grinned at him. Rui smiled back, but something in Kai’s eyes told Rui that the grin was forced. “Well, enough about boring me. What about you?”
Rui slowly nodded, “Nothing much. Dad got a promotion. My sister will be entering high school this year.”
“Oh, I bet she looks cute!” Kai’s words cut through Rui’s heart.
What did he mean by that?
Rui shook his head, “She would never like you.”
“Hey, I have never even met her before. How would you know? Huh? Huh?” Kai poked at Rui’s side. Rui scooted back a little, but he felt himself become a little infuriated. Why was Kai talking about his sister like that? Was this jealously? Wait, Rui was being ridiculous. He knew Kai better than this. Kai was just making small talk. Rui quietly laughed at himself.
“What’s so hilarious? I’m being serious.” Kai arched his eyebrow at Rui.
Rui looked into Kai’s eyes. He felt his breath quickening as he unconsciously leaned forward towards Kai’s face. He thought Kai would crack a joke to stop him, but Kai just sat there holding his gaze with him. Rui’s nose touched the tip of Kai’s, and he managed to ask Kai, “So… how come you called?”
Kai’s nose shuddered against Rui’s. Rui blinked several times at Kai, who pulled back and looked up at the twinkling stars. Rui silently sighed and placed his hands in his lap. He looked down at his feet. He failed to kiss Kai… again. Every time he wanted to make a move, he would feel his heart seize with fear. His mind raced worrying about whether Kai would reject or accept his kiss. Although Rui felt 90% sure that Kai loved him back, he couldn’t help feeling worried about that other 10%.
“Uh… Rui…” Kai broke the silence. “Where do you see yourself ten years from now?”
Rui’s ears pulsed. Where was Kai going with this? Rui raised an eyebrow, “Me? I don’t know. Maybe having a job at the business firm.”
The conversation turned in an unexpected direction.
“What about people relationships?” Kai seemed very casual about this.
Rui took in several quick breaths to calm himself down. His sweaty palms had become clammy from the light breeze that had been blowing around and the lowered temperature of the night. Rui put his hands into his pocket. His fingers touched those beads, and Rui decided to be strong. “I imagine myself with the person that I … sincerely cherish.”
Darn, he failed to be specific again.
“But… what if that person had already fallen for someone else?” Kai looked intently at him.
Rui swallowed several times, staring widely at Kai. A chill ran over Rui, and he almost shivered. Rui clenched his teeth tightly, then released, and bit down again. Suddenly Rui had no other words except, “Kai-chan, are you … serious…?”
Rui kept swallowing and biting his tongue to keep the tears from spilling out. He felt like screaming out into the night sky. Did Kai really not feel anything for him? Rui tightened his fist around the bracelet in his pocket. Was he just that much of an ordinary friend to Kai?
“I… uh… meant to tell you…” Kai cleared his throat. “…that we have been seeing each other for a few months.”
Rui couldn’t bear to hear anymore. He coughed and barely heard himself as his voice and mouth coordinated the words, “That’s good. That’s really good. Here I was thinking you would stay a hermit forever. How … silly I was.”
Rui stood up from the bench and made sure to face his back towards Kai. He let the tears roll down his face. Luckily they were meeting at night, otherwise Kai would be right about Rui having such a naïve outlook about life. And to think, Rui had relied on Kai always being there in his life. He thought this break between them was temporary because of Rui going to college and Kai having moved to the countryside. Rui had already planned that once he graduated from college and secured that job, he would be able to have his own apartment and live with Kai. Right, what was he thinking? He hadn’t even asked Kai, and he planned ahead without, or actually, for him. How could he be so selfish?
After Rui felt his voice was strong enough, he forced himself to speak, “I’ll see you around, Kai … san”
Without waiting to hear what else Kai had to tell him, Rui ran from the park back to the station. This time he let his tears streamed wildly as he ran blindly forward. His legs knew where to go, but his mind was a mushy mess. He didn’t know what to do without Kai. He had always envisioned Kai being a part of his life. Rui cursed himself for not being stronger in expressing his love for Kai. Even if Kai only saw him as a friend, Rui knew why his heart pulsed day in and day out.
“Kai, I love you.” Rui slipped Kai’s bracelet on his other wrist.
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A/Ns: I was really inspired by atmosphere_zero's story, and I remember atmosphere_zero promised another version of the story from Rui's point of view, but it's been awhile ... and I couldn't resist ... so I asked if I could write the story from Rui's point of view ^^;;; And I actually got an OK! X] (I hope it is just as good as atmosphere_zero's)
On a random side note, the entire time I was writing this story, I kept thinking about how shy and cute Rui was acting in this V-STYLE "MOVE!!" making provided by kusamochi. XPP
Please comment, ^^ I would love to hear your thoughts! X)
Chapter: 1/1
Author: misfitmisfit
Original Story by: atmosphere_zero
Genre: Angst, Romance, Yaoi, AU
Rating: PG
Warnings: Not that I know of ^^;;
Pairing: Kai (the Gazette) x Rui (Vistlip)
Disclaimer: I don't anything except for the story line (sorta, XD). This is a pure work of fiction and any similarities are pure coincidences. ^^;
Summary: He had so much to say, but they would remain forever locked within the depths of his heart.
Comments: Hello, this is my first time writing a fan fiction! So ummm, yeah, I read atmosphere_zero's story and I couldn't help myself from writing from Rui's point of view. XD Enjoy! X)
Rui looked in the mirror and mouthed the words, the precious words that always choked him before he could say it. He closed his eyes and an image of Kai appeared. Rui’s face tingled with joy. He couldn’t help smiling. Today he would definitely tell Kai, even if he had to strangle those words out of his own throat.
Rui picked up a black and white beaded bracelet from his nightstand. He fingered the smooth wooden beads admiring all the K’s and R’s he had carved into each bead. He pulled back his sleeve to look at the time on his watch. Yikes, it was almost time to go. Hanging around his wrist next to his watch was an identical bracelet. Rui slipped the other one into his pocket. He pulled his jacket off of his desk chair and ran out.
Rui walked as fast as his legs could take him. He thought of the time schedule. The bus came around 8:30PM, then he would walk to the station. That would take about ten minutes, and the train would arrive at 9:30PM. Finally, he would be able to make it to the park at 10:00PM, give or take ten minutes of walking from the station to the park.
Rui came to the bus stop and waited under the shelter. He hated being out alone at night, but for Kai, he could do anything. Tomorrow was the beginning of finals for Rui. That was probably a better reason why he shouldn’t even be out tonight, but Kai rarely called out of the blue. Rui remembered the last time Kai called like this they had gone to the beach. That night Rui noticed tremendous pain hidden within Kai’s soft eyes. Rui yearned to hug Kai to shoulder some of that pain, but Rui knew better than to press Kai’s vulnerable walls. Although they said nothing as they walked along the shore letting the waves lap at their bare feet, Rui felt his heart connect with Kai’s. He could feel Kai’s initial pain and sorrow diminish as they walked closely side-by-side surrounded by the low roar of the peaceful ocean waves against the velvet night sky.
The bus rolled up and Rui paid his fare. He quickly picked a vacant seat near the front. He would only sit anywhere remotely towards the back if Kai were here. As the bus sped past several stops, Rui stared out at the blaze of lights zooming by against the night sky. Time flew by so quickly. He was already in his junior year of college, and planning for the future. Rui wondered if Kai would be willing to move with him to start a new life once Rui graduated.
Rui arrived at the train station. He was getting closer to seeing Kai. Rui’s fingers trembled as he put the quarters into the machine to buy his train pass. He pushed a few buttons and the machine spit out the pass. His sweaty, trembling hands dropped the pass as he went to retrieve it. Rui took in several deep breaths and looked around to see if anyone saw his stupidity. He quickly ran to the escalator to wait at his train platform. Why was he feeling so jittery just like he did right before a test? Kai was his best friend, and this wasn’t the first they had met at night.
At the platform, Rui caught sight of a girl pushing a distraught guy away from her. Rui tried not to stare, but his ears burned at the words coming out of that girl’s mouth.
“I never liked you that way. I just never told you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. Now please, let go of me!” The girl swung her purse in midair as the guy tried to get close to her. Then she ran right past Rui with tears streaming down her face.
Rui’s heart began to pound uncomfortably against his chest. He took out Kai’s bracelet and ran his fingers over the smoothly carved wooden beads again. One K, one R, one K, one R linked together forever. He looked to his own wrist and chuckled silently at his foolish creativity. He carved the K on white beads for his own bracelet, but on Kai’s he carved R on the white beads. Kai probably wouldn’t even notice, and might even call him foolish. But that only meant that Kai really cared.
The station chimed announcing the arrival of Rui’s train. He took a seat next to the window, even though he knew he wouldn’t be able to see much of anything at this hour. As the train rolled out of the station, Rui felt his eyelids become heavy. He jolted awake when he felt the train hastily stop. Rui rubbed his eyes and realized this was his stop. He quickly stumbled off the train and paused to stretch. He wondered if Kai had been waiting long. Worried, he hurried out of the station to the park.
At the park, Rui spotted Kai sitting at a bench. He held his breath to keep from shouting out Kai’s name. As he walked softly towards Kai, he resisted the urge to rush over and throw his arms around Kai. He could hear his own heart pounding against the silence of the night.
Finally Rui spoke, “Kai-chan, what did you call me out here for… especially at a time like this?”
Without turning around, Kai said, “Hey … Rui-san.”
Rui’s heart almost skipped a beat when he saw Kai slip the handkerchief in his pocket. The memories rushed back from that Valentine’s Day. He remembered Kai asking him if he got any chocolates.
“I got some, but I gave them away to those who didn’t get any.” Rui shrugged.
Kai almost chuckled, “Why would you give away free chocolate? One of these days, you’re going to regret being so nice.”
Rui let out a sigh. It would still be a long time before Kai would trust anyone, but Rui understood that Kai’s past didn’t exactly allow room for that type of comfort.
Rui remembered, “Hey, did you get any chocolates?”
Kai snorted, “Of course not, but I did get this weird handkerchief.”
“You… you don’t like it?” Rui hesitantly asked.
“It’s so useless. In what era do people still use handkerchiefs?” Kai shook his head as he stuffed it back into his pocket.
Rui burned with the desire to tell him that he personally learned how to sew it just for him, but somehow Rui felt Kai might not accept the gift afterwards. “Well, I’m sure whoever made it for you must really like you.”
Kai didn’t say anything for the rest of the way home just like now. He sat on the bench seemingly lost in deep thought. Rui took a seat beside him and imagined leaning his head against Kai’s shoulder. If only Rui had enough confidence to make the first move, but he was afraid of breaching Kai’s protective barrier.
“It’s been such a long time since we last spoke face-to-face.” Rui mentioned casually.
He noticed Kai squirm slightly, but Rui scooted closer to him. He relished this bubbly, warm feeling he got whenever he was with Kai. Rui looked over and saw a fresh cut on Kai’s handsome face.
Instinctively, Rui reached out and stroked Kai’s cheekbone. Kai gently pulled Rui’s hands away and stared back at him momentarily with those pain-stricken, but gentle eyes. “Nothing! I’m fine. You’re always such a worry wart.”
Rui’s heart sank. He wished Kai could be more open with him. “Who did this to you? Is it someone you work with? Your father? Your neighbor?”
Rui immediately saw Kai’s eyes shift away from him. He knew he probably shouldn’t have brought up the issue, but Rui couldn’t help himself wanting to be more a part of Kai’s life. He loved him.
“Come on, Rui-san. You’re being mean. Accusing false crimes and false perpetrators. I didn’t call you to talk about other people.” Kai stared off in the distance.
Rui looked at Kai’s hands and his heart started to race. He looked at his own hands, then back at Kai’s hands. He bit his lower lip as he tentatively reached out towards Kai’s hands.
“Kai-chan, I worry about you.” Rui placed his hand on Kai’s, hoping Kai wouldn’t shrink away this time.
Kai let Rui do this and burst out laughing, “Get real. If anything, I have to protect you from getting swindled or beaten up by thugs.”
“I’m being serious.” Rui pretended to be wounded by pursing his lips into a pout.
Kai grinned at him. Rui smiled back, but something in Kai’s eyes told Rui that the grin was forced. “Well, enough about boring me. What about you?”
Rui slowly nodded, “Nothing much. Dad got a promotion. My sister will be entering high school this year.”
“Oh, I bet she looks cute!” Kai’s words cut through Rui’s heart.
What did he mean by that?
Rui shook his head, “She would never like you.”
“Hey, I have never even met her before. How would you know? Huh? Huh?” Kai poked at Rui’s side. Rui scooted back a little, but he felt himself become a little infuriated. Why was Kai talking about his sister like that? Was this jealously? Wait, Rui was being ridiculous. He knew Kai better than this. Kai was just making small talk. Rui quietly laughed at himself.
“What’s so hilarious? I’m being serious.” Kai arched his eyebrow at Rui.
Rui looked into Kai’s eyes. He felt his breath quickening as he unconsciously leaned forward towards Kai’s face. He thought Kai would crack a joke to stop him, but Kai just sat there holding his gaze with him. Rui’s nose touched the tip of Kai’s, and he managed to ask Kai, “So… how come you called?”
Kai’s nose shuddered against Rui’s. Rui blinked several times at Kai, who pulled back and looked up at the twinkling stars. Rui silently sighed and placed his hands in his lap. He looked down at his feet. He failed to kiss Kai… again. Every time he wanted to make a move, he would feel his heart seize with fear. His mind raced worrying about whether Kai would reject or accept his kiss. Although Rui felt 90% sure that Kai loved him back, he couldn’t help feeling worried about that other 10%.
“Uh… Rui…” Kai broke the silence. “Where do you see yourself ten years from now?”
Rui’s ears pulsed. Where was Kai going with this? Rui raised an eyebrow, “Me? I don’t know. Maybe having a job at the business firm.”
The conversation turned in an unexpected direction.
“What about people relationships?” Kai seemed very casual about this.
Rui took in several quick breaths to calm himself down. His sweaty palms had become clammy from the light breeze that had been blowing around and the lowered temperature of the night. Rui put his hands into his pocket. His fingers touched those beads, and Rui decided to be strong. “I imagine myself with the person that I … sincerely cherish.”
Darn, he failed to be specific again.
“But… what if that person had already fallen for someone else?” Kai looked intently at him.
Rui swallowed several times, staring widely at Kai. A chill ran over Rui, and he almost shivered. Rui clenched his teeth tightly, then released, and bit down again. Suddenly Rui had no other words except, “Kai-chan, are you … serious…?”
Rui kept swallowing and biting his tongue to keep the tears from spilling out. He felt like screaming out into the night sky. Did Kai really not feel anything for him? Rui tightened his fist around the bracelet in his pocket. Was he just that much of an ordinary friend to Kai?
“I… uh… meant to tell you…” Kai cleared his throat. “…that we have been seeing each other for a few months.”
Rui couldn’t bear to hear anymore. He coughed and barely heard himself as his voice and mouth coordinated the words, “That’s good. That’s really good. Here I was thinking you would stay a hermit forever. How … silly I was.”
Rui stood up from the bench and made sure to face his back towards Kai. He let the tears roll down his face. Luckily they were meeting at night, otherwise Kai would be right about Rui having such a naïve outlook about life. And to think, Rui had relied on Kai always being there in his life. He thought this break between them was temporary because of Rui going to college and Kai having moved to the countryside. Rui had already planned that once he graduated from college and secured that job, he would be able to have his own apartment and live with Kai. Right, what was he thinking? He hadn’t even asked Kai, and he planned ahead without, or actually, for him. How could he be so selfish?
After Rui felt his voice was strong enough, he forced himself to speak, “I’ll see you around, Kai … san”
Without waiting to hear what else Kai had to tell him, Rui ran from the park back to the station. This time he let his tears streamed wildly as he ran blindly forward. His legs knew where to go, but his mind was a mushy mess. He didn’t know what to do without Kai. He had always envisioned Kai being a part of his life. Rui cursed himself for not being stronger in expressing his love for Kai. Even if Kai only saw him as a friend, Rui knew why his heart pulsed day in and day out.
“Kai, I love you.” Rui slipped Kai’s bracelet on his other wrist.
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A/Ns: I was really inspired by atmosphere_zero's story, and I remember atmosphere_zero promised another version of the story from Rui's point of view, but it's been awhile ... and I couldn't resist ... so I asked if I could write the story from Rui's point of view ^^;;; And I actually got an OK! X] (I hope it is just as good as atmosphere_zero's)
On a random side note, the entire time I was writing this story, I kept thinking about how shy and cute Rui was acting in this V-STYLE "MOVE!!" making provided by kusamochi. XPP
Please comment, ^^ I would love to hear your thoughts! X)