It's All So Strange
The human psyche is such a strange thing, isn't it? It controls everything we are, down to the way we wave. It's so amazing what people can be, what people can do, only because of the psyche. Our minds are everything. That must be why insanity is so scary.Insanity, diseases of the mind, takes away everything. Without your mind, your nothing, a shell....that's when your better off dead...
The human psyche is something so worth knowing, so worth understanding. I guess that's why I wanted to join psychology, to learn about what I think of everyday, of what enthralls me. If only I could understand, then maybe I could unlock the mysteries of myself, explain myself to everyone....who am I kidding, if I ever explain myself to me, that's all I'll need...And maybe after unlocking myself, I can maybe, just maybe, understand others....and maybe then I can help people more.
I want to help people,I really do. To see someone suffering makes me feel like I'm suffering. And I can't take it. Emotional pain's always been too much for me. I want to ease people's pain, but I'm just so damn useless at it sometimes. It frustrates me to no end. The end can never be reached, never to the extent I want. If only I understood, I could be better than I am, I could be more...
Everyone always asks, what sets us apart from the animals, and it's not our intelligence, our government, our dominance. It's our psyche. Remorse is one of those things that set us apart from everything around us. To know we've made others suffer, directly or even indirectly, makes us feel remorse, lets us know we need to change, makes us learn from the mistake that caused it in the first place. We learn from the pain. And this makes me concerned for some I know, if you don't feel remorse, how can you say you're any better than the murderers, the killers who take innocents from this world at whim, for their own pleasure? How can you say you're any better than the animals we gawk at as they tear each other apart? I wish it wasn't true, but in my mind it is, and I think of it everytime...Do you ever feel remorse when you kill a moth? Some other insect? I do. I kill them only because they exist, they don't threaten me, they don't bother me, they might have flown by my head,but they didn't threaten me in anyway. They simply seem to deserve to die only because they're alive...It makes me sad, and yet I still do it...Why?
Remorse. And love. Love is so important. It also separates us. Animals never love, they lust. They breed. They reproduce. They don't need companionship, they're only driven together out of fear. But love exists on so many levels, it's hard to know how deep it runs. Friends, family, lovers, all have their own levels of love, and it can all get confused too easily. It's hard to accept love as well, as it can be easy too acquire, and sometimes even easier to lose. It's hard to express as well. Everything has consequences, even something so simple as expression. Love keeps people together and rips them apart. Why am I still talking about this? I have nothing left to say...
Fading...that word scares the crap out of me....i'm not sure why. Maybe since it's the entrance to death, to oblivion. The end of everything begins with fading. Or maybe it's because I can't remember my childhood, except for the splotchiness that exists in the timeline. And I can already feel my other fond memories from last year starting to blur, to fade. I hate my memory. Another reason why I need to understand.
I feel so much more connected to people nowadays. It's a strange feeling. It's easier to be solitary. I still feel like that's what I'm used to. It's been quite a while since I've actually felt alone, but I guess it takes a while for the mind to change when it's thought the same for so long. Or maybe it just takes that long for trust to sow itself. I know it's growing, no problem there. I guess that's a good thing. It's kinda sad that I can only rant like this to myself or to a computer screen, but I guess it comes with the territory. But people can actually read this....another strange feeling, a more vulnerable one. Weakness. Vulnerability. Do they walk hand in hand, or can vulnerability lead to strength? To growth? I hope so...
I think I should stop ranting. I think that's enough for today. Wow. What a rant. At least I thought of something to write about....
The human psyche is something so worth knowing, so worth understanding. I guess that's why I wanted to join psychology, to learn about what I think of everyday, of what enthralls me. If only I could understand, then maybe I could unlock the mysteries of myself, explain myself to everyone....who am I kidding, if I ever explain myself to me, that's all I'll need...And maybe after unlocking myself, I can maybe, just maybe, understand others....and maybe then I can help people more.
I want to help people,I really do. To see someone suffering makes me feel like I'm suffering. And I can't take it. Emotional pain's always been too much for me. I want to ease people's pain, but I'm just so damn useless at it sometimes. It frustrates me to no end. The end can never be reached, never to the extent I want. If only I understood, I could be better than I am, I could be more...
Everyone always asks, what sets us apart from the animals, and it's not our intelligence, our government, our dominance. It's our psyche. Remorse is one of those things that set us apart from everything around us. To know we've made others suffer, directly or even indirectly, makes us feel remorse, lets us know we need to change, makes us learn from the mistake that caused it in the first place. We learn from the pain. And this makes me concerned for some I know, if you don't feel remorse, how can you say you're any better than the murderers, the killers who take innocents from this world at whim, for their own pleasure? How can you say you're any better than the animals we gawk at as they tear each other apart? I wish it wasn't true, but in my mind it is, and I think of it everytime...Do you ever feel remorse when you kill a moth? Some other insect? I do. I kill them only because they exist, they don't threaten me, they don't bother me, they might have flown by my head,but they didn't threaten me in anyway. They simply seem to deserve to die only because they're alive...It makes me sad, and yet I still do it...Why?
Remorse. And love. Love is so important. It also separates us. Animals never love, they lust. They breed. They reproduce. They don't need companionship, they're only driven together out of fear. But love exists on so many levels, it's hard to know how deep it runs. Friends, family, lovers, all have their own levels of love, and it can all get confused too easily. It's hard to accept love as well, as it can be easy too acquire, and sometimes even easier to lose. It's hard to express as well. Everything has consequences, even something so simple as expression. Love keeps people together and rips them apart. Why am I still talking about this? I have nothing left to say...
Fading...that word scares the crap out of me....i'm not sure why. Maybe since it's the entrance to death, to oblivion. The end of everything begins with fading. Or maybe it's because I can't remember my childhood, except for the splotchiness that exists in the timeline. And I can already feel my other fond memories from last year starting to blur, to fade. I hate my memory. Another reason why I need to understand.
I feel so much more connected to people nowadays. It's a strange feeling. It's easier to be solitary. I still feel like that's what I'm used to. It's been quite a while since I've actually felt alone, but I guess it takes a while for the mind to change when it's thought the same for so long. Or maybe it just takes that long for trust to sow itself. I know it's growing, no problem there. I guess that's a good thing. It's kinda sad that I can only rant like this to myself or to a computer screen, but I guess it comes with the territory. But people can actually read this....another strange feeling, a more vulnerable one. Weakness. Vulnerability. Do they walk hand in hand, or can vulnerability lead to strength? To growth? I hope so...
I think I should stop ranting. I think that's enough for today. Wow. What a rant. At least I thought of something to write about....