Dont be suprised if I love you for all that you are...
I really hate what I've become in the past 12 months excluding this last month or so that have past.
Ive become and insecured jealous bitch and I hate it.
Paranoid and Fucked up.
Controlled by her own idiotic thoughts.
Living in the past ...In fear.
And I feel extremely bad cause Feeling like this makes me act like a complete asshole and I know you dont deserve that and I would apologize to you a million times, Im sorry...I dont mean to come off as such a person but my thoughts and feelings are eating me up..and Ive become a paranoid monster ...Flawed in all ways...and its thinngs like that that make me feel like this, Its lame ..sure..But its me what can you expect...Im wounded in this area. I can't deal with shit as well as I used to and Im tired of it..im tired of it starting this way and ending because of it, sure ive only been in one major relationship but in that relationship we broke up a plenty of times because of jealousy..Because of trust. Because of things that started like this, and I dont want us to end ..Much less like this..or because of how lame Or ugly I feel when things like this happen. I feel like im provoking him to hate me...but I can't help but feel like shit although he didnt do anything ...Im a jealous bitch. I know hes not like that though.. but in a way it still gets to me...the way it used to...and I think thats why, im scared hes going to be "another Joe"...and just thinking about it....and id rather just keep it to myself and hopefully get over it..hes not like joe...i shouldnt feel like this.I just feel bad about it, its so lame..but I really dont kare i mean my last relationship ended like this because we started to get this attitude..and that lead to me not trusting joe..but this isnt joe its adrian, i dont know why i dont get that..and i start to think that all guys think alike and ...I just go all out on my thoughts and bring myself down...But...Adrian isnt like all the guys, I know hes not...Thats Why I love him`so much...and thats why I feel pathetic for even mentioning this entry so...
Whatever ...this is almost too lame. Im sorry I even ever felt this way.
It doesnt matter...Dont ask.
I fucking love you Adrian <3
Curse stupid entries like this...
Ive become and insecured jealous bitch and I hate it.
Paranoid and Fucked up.
Controlled by her own idiotic thoughts.
Living in the past ...In fear.
And I feel extremely bad cause Feeling like this makes me act like a complete asshole and I know you dont deserve that and I would apologize to you a million times, Im sorry...I dont mean to come off as such a person but my thoughts and feelings are eating me up..and Ive become a paranoid monster ...Flawed in all ways...and its thinngs like that that make me feel like this, Its lame ..sure..But its me what can you expect...Im wounded in this area. I can't deal with shit as well as I used to and Im tired of it..im tired of it starting this way and ending because of it, sure ive only been in one major relationship but in that relationship we broke up a plenty of times because of jealousy..Because of trust. Because of things that started like this, and I dont want us to end ..Much less like this..or because of how lame Or ugly I feel when things like this happen. I feel like im provoking him to hate me...but I can't help but feel like shit although he didnt do anything ...Im a jealous bitch. I know hes not like that though.. but in a way it still gets to me...the way it used to...and I think thats why, im scared hes going to be "another Joe"...and just thinking about it....and id rather just keep it to myself and hopefully get over it..hes not like joe...i shouldnt feel like this.I just feel bad about it, its so lame..but I really dont kare i mean my last relationship ended like this because we started to get this attitude..and that lead to me not trusting joe..but this isnt joe its adrian, i dont know why i dont get that..and i start to think that all guys think alike and ...I just go all out on my thoughts and bring myself down...But...Adrian isnt like all the guys, I know hes not...Thats Why I love him`so much...and thats why I feel pathetic for even mentioning this entry so...
Whatever ...this is almost too lame. Im sorry I even ever felt this way.
It doesnt matter...Dont ask.
I fucking love you Adrian <3
Curse stupid entries like this...