WE ARE ALL LYING HERE: The High Road
Lately I've been considering the high road, and the taking of, a lot. Mostly because it doesn't really get you anywhere, and it sucks. It's more effort for little pay-off. The only pay-off you get is smug self-satisfaction at being the Bigger Person. But you know what the littler person who just made those snippy or judgy or asshatty comments feels? I suspect they either feel nothing or oblivious, or purged, cleansed, relieved. And what does the bigger person feel? Frustrated, pained, constipated. Their mind replays in a loop all the things they wish they could have said. Like:
"You're a drama-filled, toxic, lying insane person on too many drugs. You stir shit because you can't stand seeing other people happy when your life is such a fucking mess."
or
"You are a self-absorbed, completely clueless psycho who needs to get your head out of your ass."
or
"Actually, you are a piece of shit."
or
"You are a pitiful loser."
or a million other hateful, nasty things that I'm chagrined even to have typed here--but that's the point. We all think this stuff. Some of us have no qualms about saying it to people's faces, and some of us feel shame at writing it in their journals. So what does that mean?
Well, it means those of us who are too nice, who are so easily breakable, yes, we're going to get walked all over and shit on and the walkers and shitters will have no qualms with it because we brought it on ourselves. But at least we get to pat ourselves on our backs, congratulating ourselves for not stooping to their level as we drown in their shit and they walk away, with not a smudge on them. Hooray for us.
"You're a drama-filled, toxic, lying insane person on too many drugs. You stir shit because you can't stand seeing other people happy when your life is such a fucking mess."
or
"You are a self-absorbed, completely clueless psycho who needs to get your head out of your ass."
or
"Actually, you are a piece of shit."
or
"You are a pitiful loser."
or a million other hateful, nasty things that I'm chagrined even to have typed here--but that's the point. We all think this stuff. Some of us have no qualms about saying it to people's faces, and some of us feel shame at writing it in their journals. So what does that mean?
Well, it means those of us who are too nice, who are so easily breakable, yes, we're going to get walked all over and shit on and the walkers and shitters will have no qualms with it because we brought it on ourselves. But at least we get to pat ourselves on our backs, congratulating ourselves for not stooping to their level as we drown in their shit and they walk away, with not a smudge on them. Hooray for us.