Night of the Living Crucifix
Jesus Christ!! Not an exclamation, the actual person. Over two thousand years ago, this man allegedly walked the Earth, as a teacher, a healer, and to some, a Savior. Jesus roamed from city to city, village to village, and wilderness to wilderness of modern day Middle East talking to the people. He talked to Jews, Romans, and the other Gentiles (pagans) of the area. He talked of forgiveness, of understanding, and of humility. He was well read, clever, and stood up for his convictions. People followed him... by the thousands, and then he was killed. But what is he really remembered for? The Bible says that he was the son of God, and that he was born of immaculate conception. He walked on water, he cured the sick, and after his death, he rose from the grave. Out of all of these descriptions which are the better reasons to follow a man? Yet thousands of millions of people today still feel that Jesus is to be followed because of some sort of divinity, and his message is totally lost. Christians, as they call themselves, as a whole are one of the most unforgiving, bigoted, and closed-minded individuals I've come across so far. Granted there are shining examples of people that actually follow this man's teachings, and if you happened to feel offended by my blanket statement of Christians, simply assume that you are one of those "true" followers, and therefore exempt from most of my criticisms.
Many... I repeat, MANY wise and philosophical men have walked the Earth both before and since Jesus lived. Their teachings are as clear and respected, not because of they were "holy" men (although some were), or because they had super-human powers (although some claim they did), but because what they had to say was a good goddamned idea. They are not limited to time, region, or race... it's their message that's important. Confucius, Socrates, Siddhartha Gautama all taught within a span of a 100 years from different regions of the globe, centuries before the birth of Jesus. Two of these individuals had religions formed around these teachings. Okay, religion is probably not the best term... let's go with isms. But that's not the end of the isms, oh no.... there's: nihilism, Marxism, existentialism, pragmatism, Taoism, legalism, Zoroastrianism, Maoism, Judaism, and the list continues ad infinitum. A collection of ideas. Each have there own myths (or anti-myths), but the central pillar to these isms is the concept. It's not about believing in something because that the person that said it was somehow divine by birth. Someone "divine by birth" could just as easy have really shitty ideas... that's why theistic monarchies are all but extinct.
So why isn't it Jesusism? Why Christianity? The name says it all. The concept of Christian is that one believes that Jesus was the son of God, and the Savior of humanity. Not that they believe in his teachings. When you talk to a evangelical Christian, they'd rather have you admit that Jesus died for our sins and rose from the dead, than to hear you say that you follow his teachings. What?! His teachings aren't good enough?! They're damn good teachings!!! Confucius, Socrates, and Siddhartha Gautama would've thought so too had they been around. "Treat others as you'd like to be treated", "The meek shall inherit the Earth.", "Forgive thy enemy"... half of this stuff has been said before his day, and it was said again because it's a wonderful way to build a goddamned civilization.
Yet instead we find ourselves celebrating his miraculous rebirth. He died on the cross, was buried, and then three days later, rose from the grave. In modern day, we call that something specific. In fact we make movies about it. No I'm not talking about Passion of the Christ... although coincidentally the remake of Dawn of the Dead came out in theaters on the very same day. That's right!!! Christ was a zombie. Now the whole entire "flesh and blood" thing makes sense. He wasn't promoting cannibalism, he was talking about turning everyone into the walking dead. Genius!!! I can see the movie now... Zombie Christ: The Second Coming.
Okay, before any of you fundamentalists get your panties in a bunch, go get a sense of humor and look up the word: satire (and, yes, even Jesus used satire to prove his points sometimes). But on that note, I have to say that the entire concept seems a little ridiculous, hence why it's so easy to make fun of. Many of you might also assume that I'm poking fun at something I have no experience with. Well, I was raised and confirmed Catholic, I've read the gospels more times than I can recall, and I'm a film major (Yes that counts... film majors know everything, duh). And I do subscribe to many of Jesus' teachings, among many others. That to me is what counts. No I don't consider myself a Christian, and I'm not about to get into the futile theistic debate over the existence of God (of any kind), what I'm talking about here is ideas. So if you are someone that finds themselves taking time today to praise the Lord for sending his only son to die on the cross, perhaps also you should take the time to treat others as you'd like to be treated, and forgive others for the trespasses they may have committed against you. Those, I feel are far more important (and more Christian) than simply stating you have faith in an unbelievable story.
Many... I repeat, MANY wise and philosophical men have walked the Earth both before and since Jesus lived. Their teachings are as clear and respected, not because of they were "holy" men (although some were), or because they had super-human powers (although some claim they did), but because what they had to say was a good goddamned idea. They are not limited to time, region, or race... it's their message that's important. Confucius, Socrates, Siddhartha Gautama all taught within a span of a 100 years from different regions of the globe, centuries before the birth of Jesus. Two of these individuals had religions formed around these teachings. Okay, religion is probably not the best term... let's go with isms. But that's not the end of the isms, oh no.... there's: nihilism, Marxism, existentialism, pragmatism, Taoism, legalism, Zoroastrianism, Maoism, Judaism, and the list continues ad infinitum. A collection of ideas. Each have there own myths (or anti-myths), but the central pillar to these isms is the concept. It's not about believing in something because that the person that said it was somehow divine by birth. Someone "divine by birth" could just as easy have really shitty ideas... that's why theistic monarchies are all but extinct.
So why isn't it Jesusism? Why Christianity? The name says it all. The concept of Christian is that one believes that Jesus was the son of God, and the Savior of humanity. Not that they believe in his teachings. When you talk to a evangelical Christian, they'd rather have you admit that Jesus died for our sins and rose from the dead, than to hear you say that you follow his teachings. What?! His teachings aren't good enough?! They're damn good teachings!!! Confucius, Socrates, and Siddhartha Gautama would've thought so too had they been around. "Treat others as you'd like to be treated", "The meek shall inherit the Earth.", "Forgive thy enemy"... half of this stuff has been said before his day, and it was said again because it's a wonderful way to build a goddamned civilization.
Yet instead we find ourselves celebrating his miraculous rebirth. He died on the cross, was buried, and then three days later, rose from the grave. In modern day, we call that something specific. In fact we make movies about it. No I'm not talking about Passion of the Christ... although coincidentally the remake of Dawn of the Dead came out in theaters on the very same day. That's right!!! Christ was a zombie. Now the whole entire "flesh and blood" thing makes sense. He wasn't promoting cannibalism, he was talking about turning everyone into the walking dead. Genius!!! I can see the movie now... Zombie Christ: The Second Coming.
Okay, before any of you fundamentalists get your panties in a bunch, go get a sense of humor and look up the word: satire (and, yes, even Jesus used satire to prove his points sometimes). But on that note, I have to say that the entire concept seems a little ridiculous, hence why it's so easy to make fun of. Many of you might also assume that I'm poking fun at something I have no experience with. Well, I was raised and confirmed Catholic, I've read the gospels more times than I can recall, and I'm a film major (Yes that counts... film majors know everything, duh). And I do subscribe to many of Jesus' teachings, among many others. That to me is what counts. No I don't consider myself a Christian, and I'm not about to get into the futile theistic debate over the existence of God (of any kind), what I'm talking about here is ideas. So if you are someone that finds themselves taking time today to praise the Lord for sending his only son to die on the cross, perhaps also you should take the time to treat others as you'd like to be treated, and forgive others for the trespasses they may have committed against you. Those, I feel are far more important (and more Christian) than simply stating you have faith in an unbelievable story.