Weight Loss Blog (Day 2) - The Big Plan
"Life is like a box of chocolates. It makes you fat."
So says my very thin, petite friend. And yes, it's true, we accumulate more than experiences and memories in our bodies throughout the years. Losing your fat is much, much harder than gaining it, because you are not simply trying to establish an equilibrium, but depriving yourself so your body will burn off resources. Deprivation tends to make us grumpy and unbalanced and creates cravings, which is why it's so hard to maintain this. But to lose weight, the fact is that we have to ingest fewer calories than we are burning. It's simple maths. Yes, it is about a lifestyle change not a diet and yes, the goal has to be realistic. In the end though, someone who has accumulated as much body mass as I have will have to deprive themselves quite a bit. Which is a bit of a problem if you've let food become so important it's your best friend, greatest enemy and source of comfort. Without food, things seem empty. So how can I fill this hole, how can I give myself other things than food to balance out this deprivation? I don't know. I am told that in the long run, it will start to feel good. I hope that this is true. However, exercising so far has not begun to give me an "adrenaline rush" while I do it. Running never felt great, even when I did it every day. It was only pleasant afterwards, when I felt satisfied that I had "done the right thing", in a moral sort of way. It wasn't the same physical pleasure you get out of a piece of chocolate. So yes, this deprivation versus seeking reward thing is something I'm still struggling with, and still trying to figure out.
In any case, I am using the "SMART" approach to set myself a goal for now, a goal which is right FOR ME.
S-PECIFIC: Eat more slowly, noticing portion size and noticing what I am eating.
M-EASURABLE: Have a smaller portion size, which will be measured by using a tiny bowl and a small plate from now on which I bought for this purpose.
A-CHIEVABLE: No more than 2 helpings of this smaller size.
R-EALISTIC: Move away from "sin day" binges and "good days". Treats are allowed, but only one within a 24 hour period, and this treat has to be around 100 calories, not more.
T-IMELY: Give yourself a daily rating of between three minuses and three pluses. Note down important observations in a notebook. Write a weekly review. And have this journal, I guess.
awareness + compassion = choice
For now, this is what I will attempt, or rather what I have been attempting for the past two weeks with mixed results. I am getting a bit better at it, but I do have setbacks on some days. That was to be expected. I just really have to stick with it and give my best. It took me 23 years to get here, so this won't change 100% overnight.
The one thing I am really proud of is my exercise routine at the moment. I used to hate P.E. and was always useless at team sports (probably didn't help that I'm terrified of balls flying at me), but over the past 4.5 years, I've pretty much exercised regularly with interruptions. The thing htat gives you the quickest and best results hands down is running. However, I'm a bit heavier at the moment than when I tried it last and my ankles really don't like it. My left ankle already hurts quite badly after every Zumba class, ever since I injured it last summer. I guess it's something to put up with, but running seems a bit much at the moment. So right now, I go to Zumba three times a week, which I follow up with Zumba toning once a week, and I go to Body Balance (sort of a yoga pilates mixture only with cool music) once a week. I feel really good about this, and I actually enjoy Zumba due to its more dance-like nature. I don't know if I'm really "fit" at the moment, but I'm not too unfit to get through a 2 hour work-out so for me, that's quite good. I feel happy and like I've done something, and I don't usually get bored with fitness classes as easily as I do with going to the gym. I rarely go to the gym anymore, even though we've got fancy machines where you can watch TV, and I detest swimming right now. However, I feel that I'm doing quite enough at the moment, and I am really proud of that. The only thing I have to watch out for is not undoing the effects of exercise by stepping out of the gym at 7:30pm, hungry, freezing and sweaty, knowing I'll only get dinner at 9pm at this rate, and then having to wait for the bus for half an hour opposite the groceries store. -.- That one is a real test of self-discipline.
I can do this.
So says my very thin, petite friend. And yes, it's true, we accumulate more than experiences and memories in our bodies throughout the years. Losing your fat is much, much harder than gaining it, because you are not simply trying to establish an equilibrium, but depriving yourself so your body will burn off resources. Deprivation tends to make us grumpy and unbalanced and creates cravings, which is why it's so hard to maintain this. But to lose weight, the fact is that we have to ingest fewer calories than we are burning. It's simple maths. Yes, it is about a lifestyle change not a diet and yes, the goal has to be realistic. In the end though, someone who has accumulated as much body mass as I have will have to deprive themselves quite a bit. Which is a bit of a problem if you've let food become so important it's your best friend, greatest enemy and source of comfort. Without food, things seem empty. So how can I fill this hole, how can I give myself other things than food to balance out this deprivation? I don't know. I am told that in the long run, it will start to feel good. I hope that this is true. However, exercising so far has not begun to give me an "adrenaline rush" while I do it. Running never felt great, even when I did it every day. It was only pleasant afterwards, when I felt satisfied that I had "done the right thing", in a moral sort of way. It wasn't the same physical pleasure you get out of a piece of chocolate. So yes, this deprivation versus seeking reward thing is something I'm still struggling with, and still trying to figure out.
In any case, I am using the "SMART" approach to set myself a goal for now, a goal which is right FOR ME.
S-PECIFIC: Eat more slowly, noticing portion size and noticing what I am eating.
M-EASURABLE: Have a smaller portion size, which will be measured by using a tiny bowl and a small plate from now on which I bought for this purpose.
A-CHIEVABLE: No more than 2 helpings of this smaller size.
R-EALISTIC: Move away from "sin day" binges and "good days". Treats are allowed, but only one within a 24 hour period, and this treat has to be around 100 calories, not more.
T-IMELY: Give yourself a daily rating of between three minuses and three pluses. Note down important observations in a notebook. Write a weekly review. And have this journal, I guess.
awareness + compassion = choice
For now, this is what I will attempt, or rather what I have been attempting for the past two weeks with mixed results. I am getting a bit better at it, but I do have setbacks on some days. That was to be expected. I just really have to stick with it and give my best. It took me 23 years to get here, so this won't change 100% overnight.
The one thing I am really proud of is my exercise routine at the moment. I used to hate P.E. and was always useless at team sports (probably didn't help that I'm terrified of balls flying at me), but over the past 4.5 years, I've pretty much exercised regularly with interruptions. The thing htat gives you the quickest and best results hands down is running. However, I'm a bit heavier at the moment than when I tried it last and my ankles really don't like it. My left ankle already hurts quite badly after every Zumba class, ever since I injured it last summer. I guess it's something to put up with, but running seems a bit much at the moment. So right now, I go to Zumba three times a week, which I follow up with Zumba toning once a week, and I go to Body Balance (sort of a yoga pilates mixture only with cool music) once a week. I feel really good about this, and I actually enjoy Zumba due to its more dance-like nature. I don't know if I'm really "fit" at the moment, but I'm not too unfit to get through a 2 hour work-out so for me, that's quite good. I feel happy and like I've done something, and I don't usually get bored with fitness classes as easily as I do with going to the gym. I rarely go to the gym anymore, even though we've got fancy machines where you can watch TV, and I detest swimming right now. However, I feel that I'm doing quite enough at the moment, and I am really proud of that. The only thing I have to watch out for is not undoing the effects of exercise by stepping out of the gym at 7:30pm, hungry, freezing and sweaty, knowing I'll only get dinner at 9pm at this rate, and then having to wait for the bus for half an hour opposite the groceries store. -.- That one is a real test of self-discipline.
I can do this.