Apology
Seeing as my history class is extremely boring I have often found my self thinking of things, things that have little to do with history.
Over the course of today I have realized that I have hurt more people than I thought and that those I knew that I hurt, I have hurt more than I thought. Unfortunately I have also realized that I still have to cause more pain.
I have been struggling over this for some time now. I knew that I had to hurt some one, I was waiting in hopes to ease their pain before it came and in hopes to find a way where I would not cause any pain at all. I know now that it is impossible and that pain must happen to prevent more pain.
Right now I believe that I have cause two people pain because of me. One I am sure of, the other not so sure but I can see things that I have done that should have. These things were unintentional but alas that is my biggest flaw, I do things before I realize the pain they will cause. Because of this flaw I have gone through agonizing periods of my life where I second guess everything I do. I still so this to some extent. It is one of the reasons that I am so indecisive.
To those that are pained right now because of me I apologize. To the first, he who hurts the most, I apologize. Unfortunately have will be causing you more pain. I must do this to prevent hurting another and so that you may hopefully heal. I think of it as this way, when you are shot with an arrow you feel pain, but for the wound to heal the arrow must be removed. This will cause more pain. I'm sorry but I must remove the arrow. It will hurt, but it is necessary. I'm sorry. Unfortunately you will not read this entry. You will probably never know anything about it.
To the second I have caused pain to, he who I'm not sure on whether I caused the pain or not, I'm sorry. I know that there is something wrong. Reflecting on my actions over the past few days I have found many things that may have hurt you but you were too kind to tell me. I'm sorry. Please bear with me. I am sorry that while I was trying to prevent another's pain and also in seeking council, I caused you pain. I can not apologize enough. If I am not the source of your pain please tell me. You once asked me that if there was something wrong would I please just tell you so that you wouldn't have to go around guessing. I now ask for that from you. I love you and I feel horrible that I have done horrible things too you. If these things are not the source of you pain that I am amazed by your kindness and understanding. You are a much better person than I deserve. If I am the cause of your pain, I am sorry. You are still a much better person than I deserve.
I must go now. I have spent far too much time here.
To those that I have yet to apologize to, I am sorry. I am sorry I for all the pain I have caused and all the pain that I have yet to cause. Please bear with me and accept my apology.
~Laura~
Over the course of today I have realized that I have hurt more people than I thought and that those I knew that I hurt, I have hurt more than I thought. Unfortunately I have also realized that I still have to cause more pain.
I have been struggling over this for some time now. I knew that I had to hurt some one, I was waiting in hopes to ease their pain before it came and in hopes to find a way where I would not cause any pain at all. I know now that it is impossible and that pain must happen to prevent more pain.
Right now I believe that I have cause two people pain because of me. One I am sure of, the other not so sure but I can see things that I have done that should have. These things were unintentional but alas that is my biggest flaw, I do things before I realize the pain they will cause. Because of this flaw I have gone through agonizing periods of my life where I second guess everything I do. I still so this to some extent. It is one of the reasons that I am so indecisive.
To those that are pained right now because of me I apologize. To the first, he who hurts the most, I apologize. Unfortunately have will be causing you more pain. I must do this to prevent hurting another and so that you may hopefully heal. I think of it as this way, when you are shot with an arrow you feel pain, but for the wound to heal the arrow must be removed. This will cause more pain. I'm sorry but I must remove the arrow. It will hurt, but it is necessary. I'm sorry. Unfortunately you will not read this entry. You will probably never know anything about it.
To the second I have caused pain to, he who I'm not sure on whether I caused the pain or not, I'm sorry. I know that there is something wrong. Reflecting on my actions over the past few days I have found many things that may have hurt you but you were too kind to tell me. I'm sorry. Please bear with me. I am sorry that while I was trying to prevent another's pain and also in seeking council, I caused you pain. I can not apologize enough. If I am not the source of your pain please tell me. You once asked me that if there was something wrong would I please just tell you so that you wouldn't have to go around guessing. I now ask for that from you. I love you and I feel horrible that I have done horrible things too you. If these things are not the source of you pain that I am amazed by your kindness and understanding. You are a much better person than I deserve. If I am the cause of your pain, I am sorry. You are still a much better person than I deserve.
I must go now. I have spent far too much time here.
To those that I have yet to apologize to, I am sorry. I am sorry I for all the pain I have caused and all the pain that I have yet to cause. Please bear with me and accept my apology.
~Laura~