In Which Problems are Addressed
So here's my solution to our messy household:
Step 1. Everyone does their own dishes at the end of the night.
Problems solved:
A: No one forgets a dish was theirs.
B: The dishes do not linger and become disgusting.
C: Our house is clean and comfortable.
Step 2. Everyone is allowed to give other people in the house shit for not doing their dishes.
Problems solved:
A: Everyone has an outlet for the frustration and resentment that is diving the household.
B: Everyone is reminded of their responsibility, reinforcing Step 1.
Step 3. Everyone is allowed 2 times per month to not clean up their dishes that night, and instead to clean them up the next day. This does NOT extend to pots/pans or to cutting boards. These times will be kept track of publicly. They are non-transferable and do not roll over to the next month. They cannot be used consecutively.
Problems solved:
A: Some laxity is built into the system to allow for entertaining friends or a night of revelry.
B: This allows everyone a chance to let dishes stand, to see how comparatively dirty it looks and to feel everyone else watching them waiting for them to do their dishes, reinforcing Step 1 and Step 2.
I've gone over it with everyone in the house and they've agreed. The big test will be the first time that someone doesn't pick up after themselves and no one takes responsibility for it. However, I'm willing to bite the bullet on that and clean it up just to keep the system moving.
I'm anticipating that there will be hiccups and hurt feelings over the next two weeks or so, but the very worst-case scenario is that we have a few weeks of a clean house. And the best case scenario is that we have a clean house for the rest of the time we live here, and everyone feels more open and comfortable with each other because they have permission to give shit, accept that the shit they get is well-founded, and no longer resent that other people aren't contributing to the house.
Next week I'll solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and show you how to make festive Cheese Balls with Vladimir Putin and Alec Baldwin.