oNe | phone/action

[miraculls]

[Phone]

Whooooooa. How are -- how are all these motherfuckin' voices be coming from this little tubething? Motherfuckin' miracles, man.

[There's a looooooong pause, and it seems like Gamzee might have wandered off and forgotten to hang up until he speaks up again.]Uhhhhh...pretty sure my skin ain't all being pink last time I checked. 'Cept for

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[miraculls]

[That's okay, here's what Gamzee's picturing Pinkie as right now.



This is why you shouldn't talk to strangers over the phone, kids.]

Whoa, you be hardcore, my pink pastry sister! I didn't know pies could be eating shit!

[partysense]

[This is the most beautiful thread I've ever been in.........]

Oh, yeah! We Pies eat all kinds of things! This Pie loves to bake!

...Hey! How'd you know I liked pastries?!

[miraculls]

[crying with laughter]

Aww, fuck yeah, that's what I'm talkin' about! We gotta be getting our motherfuckin' bake on all up and over this place!

And everyone be loving pastries, chica. Like fuck, how does that shit taste so good? Motherfuckin' miracles, that's how.

[partysense]

Wow, I've never put any motherfuckin' miracles in my baking! Is that like a secret ingredient? Ooh, ooh, tell me! Wait! No! You don't have to or else it wouldn't be secret but I promise I'd keep the secret! What is it?!

[miraculls]

Haha, ain't no secret! I just send up a quick prayer to the Mirthful Messiahs, that be all. They be all making the magic happen for me!

[partysense]

Oh, okay! Pray to the Mirthful Messiah-!

[oh wait. magic...]

Magic? But I'm not Twilight or Rarity... [sounds SO DISAPPOINTED]

...Wow, this is awfully complicated baking. Maybe I'm not a master chef quite yet.

[miraculls]

Naw, sister, you don't actually gotta do the magic, you just let it happen. There be magic and miracles everywhere.

Heeeeey, don't be harshin' all up over yourself like that! Long as it's made by a friend, everything tastes like a motherfuckin' miracle! [oh my god gamzee how are you not your own afterschool special yet oh right the drugs and murder]

[partysense]

Wow! When you put it that way, you're right! Magic is everywhere!

[dear god she is just agreeing with everything he says here] And food tastes best when you're eating with friends!

[miraculls]

Hahaha yeah, you got it now! [seriously how can this much cheerfulness exist in one place without everything exploding]

Tell you what - since we be all chill friends now and shit, we should split a motherfuckin' pie some time! I make the best motherfuckin' sopor pies that'll ever hit your protein chute. [m-more like the only ones....]

[partysense]

Yay! I love making new friends! You're inviting me over for a motherfuckin' pie?! [she gets to try motherfuckin' pie SHE'S NEVER HAD IT BEFORE SO EXCITING] Really?! I'd love to eat pie with you, Mr. Hairless-Hornless! I'll bring cupcakes too and we can have a picnic party!

[miraculls]

Friendship is a beautiful thing, motherfucker. You can come on over any time, honk!

Oh fuck, that be one genius motherfuckin' idea you just be spouting out your windhole. Love me a good motherfuckin' part and shit!

[partysense]

Party, party! Picnic party! Ooh, I'll start planning right away! And you're invited... Oh, what's your real name?

[miraculls]

Aww shit, did I all and forget to be introducing myself to my new friend? My bad, sister, I be Gamzee Makara!

[partysense]

Okay, hi, Gamzee! I won't forget it!!

[miraculls]

Haha, it's cool if you do, I'm a chill motherfucker! Things be falling out of my thinkpan all the fucking time.

[partysense]

Oh, that doesn't sound good... But there's a five-second rule! They're still good if you pick 'em up within five seconds!