oNe | phone/action

[miraculls]

[Phone]

Whooooooa. How are -- how are all these motherfuckin' voices be coming from this little tubething? Motherfuckin' miracles, man.

[There's a looooooong pause, and it seems like Gamzee might have wandered off and forgotten to hang up until he speaks up again.]Uhhhhh...pretty sure my skin ain't all being pink last time I checked. 'Cept for

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Phone

[mathisradical]

...Dude... are you stoned?

Re: Phone

[miraculls]

Uhhhhhh....

[Long pause as he checks himself.]

Naaaw, tubebro, still looks like I be all made of skin and motherfuckin' miracles, honk honk!

[mathisradical]

[ T-tubebro? ]

Holy shit. You're totally high off your ass.

[miraculls]

I am? Whoa, how you be all knowing that and shit?

[glances at himself]

Uhhh...hate to tell you this, bro, but I still got my feet on the ground.

[mathisradical]

[ Aw yeah, time to fuck with him. ]

No, no dude. You're totally high off your ass. You're all floatin' up in the air and shit, but your so fucking out of it, that it just seems like your on the ground. I know this because I'm psychic.

[miraculls]

[good thing you just found the most gullible troll on the planet]

Whoooooooooa! Fuck, bro, you be all reading my thinkpan and shit? How the fuck am I staying up? No, wait, don't tell me, that'll just steal all the motherfuckin' magic from it. I never done floated or shit before outside of my dreams!

[mathisradical]

Yeah, that's exactly what I'm doing. And even though you can't see them, you're totally surrounded by all these tennis balls. And they're totally flying every which way and bouncing around and- Oh shit, look out, that one's comin' at your head!

1/2

[miraculls]

Oh, fuck!

[There's a clatter as Gamzee drops the phone and dives for the floor. A few seconds later, he picks it up, panting.]

Shit, motherfucker, that be close! Thanks for the warning, bro.

[miraculls]

Uhhh...what's a tennis ball?

[mathisradical]

[ Niou's barely containing his laughter when Gamzee picks up the phone again. ]

What's a tennis ball? What the fuck. A tennis ball is a green-yellow ball that bounces. And it has a mind of it's own. And wings. And horns. They're evil, man. Evil green-yellow balls of doom. You better fuckin' watch out for those bastards.

[miraculls]

Whoooa, motherfucker, they be sounding off the chain!

...you think they'd all up and be wanting to share a pie with a wicked brother?

[mathisradical]

No, no, no. Don't feed them. That's the worst thing you can do. They'll go on a huge rampage and kill everything.

[miraculls]

Awww, you sure, bro? When I be sharing my pie with the imps, they all calmed the motherfuck down and we kicked up a wicked friendship.

[mathisradical]

You can try, man, but... it's pretty damn risky. I knew someone who fed a tennis ball. They keyword being knew. I haven't talked to them since.

[miraculls]

Aww, I'm real sorry 'bout your friend, dogg. But I ain't afraid to get my chance on! Just gotta send a quick prayer to the Mirthful Messiahs and they'll make a miracle happen, sure enough!

[mathisradical]

Good luck, bro. Lemme know how it goes.