hey hon, rough day? hang in there, smoke some bud! haha, but to answer your question i have been smoking for a long time. it's just a part of my life at this point. i don't drink, too many calories and it makes me lose control. pot has no control over how i think or act, it's just a relaxer. like calming music or a massage maybe, it's less of a drug than caffinee. it speeds up my metabolism a little bit so even though i may get "the munchies" if i stay away from food after smoking it will actually help me lose weight.
it's interesting that you call it your "master plan" i call mine the "ultimate discipline." i try not to be too hard on myself, it's that "losing control because you're so in control" that i don't want to go into again. for me i try and balance but it is totally overwhelming sometimes. i know what i'm doing it wrong and in a way hurting myself but at the same time it "feels good" and i am exactly, in control. it sounds like you have great parents, which helps. my boyfriend is great, we've been together almost 3 years but he doesn't understand. he was making me eat so now i have to lie to him. and we are so close so it hurts me terribly. "no i already ate." "i had a huge lunch." "dairy has been giving me a stomach ache." he wants to take me out for ice cream and for dinner and i'm like ahhhh. thankfully he lives in vermont so i only see him on the weekends. i leave a little bit of wiggle room so i can eat something at least when we're together.
i don't know if you're looking for advice, i don't think i could give much but i'm here to talk to u if you need it. my mom is a registered dietitian, ironically, and she has made a career out of rehabilitating girls with ED. i will throw away some turkey and bread while she's at work so i don't think she has a clue what is going on. but i surely understand the psychological repurcussions of this lifestyle and she has educated me a little on the chemical side. try and keep your chemicals and hormones in balance by taking vitamins and doing breathing exercises. it will help your body stay balanced and will subdue mood swings and some intense emotions. do u ever meditate? practice yoga?
it's interesting that you call it your "master plan" i call mine the "ultimate discipline." i try not to be too hard on myself, it's that "losing control because you're so in control" that i don't want to go into again. for me i try and balance but it is totally overwhelming sometimes. i know what i'm doing it wrong and in a way hurting myself but at the same time it "feels good" and i am exactly, in control. it sounds like you have great parents, which helps. my boyfriend is great, we've been together almost 3 years but he doesn't understand. he was making me eat so now i have to lie to him. and we are so close so it hurts me terribly. "no i already ate." "i had a huge lunch." "dairy has been giving me a stomach ache." he wants to take me out for ice cream and for dinner and i'm like ahhhh. thankfully he lives in vermont so i only see him on the weekends. i leave a little bit of wiggle room so i can eat something at least when we're together.
i don't know if you're looking for advice, i don't think i could give much but i'm here to talk to u if you need it. my mom is a registered dietitian, ironically, and she has made a career out of rehabilitating girls with ED. i will throw away some turkey and bread while she's at work so i don't think she has a clue what is going on. but i surely understand the psychological repurcussions of this lifestyle and she has educated me a little on the chemical side. try and keep your chemicals and hormones in balance by taking vitamins and doing breathing exercises. it will help your body stay balanced and will subdue mood swings and some intense emotions. do u ever meditate? practice yoga?
feel better, remember you are not alone!!!!! xo
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