(no subject)
Dear Lorrin,
Thank you for finally telling me the truth... It has been one of the biggest hurdles, in our million mile march. Im sorry for not being insightful, I guess I just knew what it felt like losing you, and everytime you told me you were unhappy, I immediatly thought it had something to do with me... But in reality no matter how hard I tried, I could never fix your problems, if I just kept creating my own. I guess since were going to be together forever, Im going to have to come to terms, with you being friends, with Chris Grey, and David... Once again I just thought for the worse, because I was afraid of losing you. Im going to stop writing online, I think it's time I journey inward, and pick up my own peices again. So hopefully when you come back, Ill have alot of new writings in my journal. I want you to succeed Lorrin, please the take time you have set a side, too actually get the things you need. Im going to be saving money, while your gone... I know I might not have that much, but anything could help. I want you to have a car when you come back, I know that is one of the strongest hinders to your feeling of adequecy, not that your inadequet, but that it's about GODDAMN time you get a car. If were going to be together forever, we're going to have to be a team, not tutors. I know Im older then you, and there are somethings I have experience in more then you, but I think I should just let you learn for youself from now on. I never meant to be a father figure, I guess like anyone who is inlove, I just got caught up in the idea, of what I thought was best for you. Please do me a favor while you are on your journey inward, and try to focus on the things that really make our relationship magical. Regardless of the absence of outer magic, the internal magic that keeps us together, is still something you could never write enough books about. I hope I can visit you sometime down the road, I know will be starting college soon, and I willnt have the time, so Ill need to do it sometime before then. Lorrin, I want you to know something... Im not going to try and find anyone else. I told you along time ago, I would never go away, until you told me too. That day you begged me with tears rtunning from your eyes, to be with you forever... I made a promise, and on the way home that nihgt, I swore no matter what. I dont want anymore lies or anger, I just want love and support, on both parts. You are one of the smartest girls I have ever known, I know that no matter where you take your life, you'll be successful. That is why I wanna go to Evergreen, you travel to visit it, I wanna see for myself, because as much as it pains me to admit it, I do think it's pretty fucking cool college, but most of all, it'd be a place we could expand our minds, together. Going with you, would not being giving up my dreams either, it would more or less be furthering them, because leaving GA, is one of the biggest of all, cause quite frankly, this place sucks. Im sorry the past haunts you so much, all the magic, and romance in the world, could never release you from the chains your past has a hold on you... I know not, from equal experience, but I have alittle myself, and Ive always had you to thank for helping me come to terms with it... I probably wouldnt be speaking to my father this day, if it werent for seeing his sincerity towards you. I can never be that for you, because there is no sincerity to be had, the only thing I can try and do, is what I forgot to I was doing along time ago, just trying to make the next years of your life a thosand times better. Regardless of all the pain, and fighting, our relationship has always been the silver lining in my life, and I hope yours... Not because it's perfect, but because it's real. You will always be my family, I told you it along time ago, and I still consider it to this day. I just want you to be happy, and never forget, that you will always be my tigerlily.
Thank you for finally telling me the truth... It has been one of the biggest hurdles, in our million mile march. Im sorry for not being insightful, I guess I just knew what it felt like losing you, and everytime you told me you were unhappy, I immediatly thought it had something to do with me... But in reality no matter how hard I tried, I could never fix your problems, if I just kept creating my own. I guess since were going to be together forever, Im going to have to come to terms, with you being friends, with Chris Grey, and David... Once again I just thought for the worse, because I was afraid of losing you. Im going to stop writing online, I think it's time I journey inward, and pick up my own peices again. So hopefully when you come back, Ill have alot of new writings in my journal. I want you to succeed Lorrin, please the take time you have set a side, too actually get the things you need. Im going to be saving money, while your gone... I know I might not have that much, but anything could help. I want you to have a car when you come back, I know that is one of the strongest hinders to your feeling of adequecy, not that your inadequet, but that it's about GODDAMN time you get a car. If were going to be together forever, we're going to have to be a team, not tutors. I know Im older then you, and there are somethings I have experience in more then you, but I think I should just let you learn for youself from now on. I never meant to be a father figure, I guess like anyone who is inlove, I just got caught up in the idea, of what I thought was best for you. Please do me a favor while you are on your journey inward, and try to focus on the things that really make our relationship magical. Regardless of the absence of outer magic, the internal magic that keeps us together, is still something you could never write enough books about. I hope I can visit you sometime down the road, I know will be starting college soon, and I willnt have the time, so Ill need to do it sometime before then. Lorrin, I want you to know something... Im not going to try and find anyone else. I told you along time ago, I would never go away, until you told me too. That day you begged me with tears rtunning from your eyes, to be with you forever... I made a promise, and on the way home that nihgt, I swore no matter what. I dont want anymore lies or anger, I just want love and support, on both parts. You are one of the smartest girls I have ever known, I know that no matter where you take your life, you'll be successful. That is why I wanna go to Evergreen, you travel to visit it, I wanna see for myself, because as much as it pains me to admit it, I do think it's pretty fucking cool college, but most of all, it'd be a place we could expand our minds, together. Going with you, would not being giving up my dreams either, it would more or less be furthering them, because leaving GA, is one of the biggest of all, cause quite frankly, this place sucks. Im sorry the past haunts you so much, all the magic, and romance in the world, could never release you from the chains your past has a hold on you... I know not, from equal experience, but I have alittle myself, and Ive always had you to thank for helping me come to terms with it... I probably wouldnt be speaking to my father this day, if it werent for seeing his sincerity towards you. I can never be that for you, because there is no sincerity to be had, the only thing I can try and do, is what I forgot to I was doing along time ago, just trying to make the next years of your life a thosand times better. Regardless of all the pain, and fighting, our relationship has always been the silver lining in my life, and I hope yours... Not because it's perfect, but because it's real. You will always be my family, I told you it along time ago, and I still consider it to this day. I just want you to be happy, and never forget, that you will always be my tigerlily.