(no subject)
1) My depression is bad right now, but I haven't been this grateful about things in a long time. When I am having a terrible day and can't get out of bed, it's okay -- I can just sleep until I feel human again, go to the library at SDSU whenever I want, get my shit done, and come home and faceplant. When I have no energy to do anything but go to the beach and study, I can do that. When nothing except a pint of caramel ice cream will make me smile, I can go buy it and groceries and other things I need because I'm not living with a roommate who doesn't pay their half of the bills, and I don't have to factor theirs into my own budget in order to avoid having the lights and water shut off.
My schedule is still (mostly) unscheduled and I think being able to take everything at my own pace and make my physical + emotional care my top priority is why I'm able to handle school and my job and taking care of a sick parent and the bros at my practicum site without ending up in the hospital myself. I have a job I love, my finances answer to no one but me, my practicum/internship site makes me want to be a better person, I'm going to church sometimes, I'm in a Masters program where being a misfit is an employable skill, and I'm slowly accepting the fact that dating just isn't for me.
2) Things were much worse last year at this time, and my trich symptoms came back for the first time since childhood and it was really, really embarrassing and like. I realized that the only time I wasn't pulling my hair was when I was wearing a wig, so I thought, "You know what? Fuck everything. My hair looks like garbage because so much of it is gone and I wear a hoodie all the time anyway. I'm shaving it off." So, I've been wearing wigs for an entire year now and... it's the only thing that's ever helped. Seriously. I've never really talked about it because I hate talking about self-harm in general and trich is one of those things that grosses out a lot of people, and I think the only ones who knew were my parents, one friend who took care of me when I was sick at a con, another one who was excited and wanted to see it, and a practicum friend that I'd go swimming with over the summer.
My natural hair is almost down to my shoulders now, and it's still uneven as hell and I never ever ever show it in public but I can't believe this helped me as much as it did.
3) Tumblr is my main hangout anyway so I guess I don't care about how uncomfortable and embarrassing my entries are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My schedule is still (mostly) unscheduled and I think being able to take everything at my own pace and make my physical + emotional care my top priority is why I'm able to handle school and my job and taking care of a sick parent and the bros at my practicum site without ending up in the hospital myself. I have a job I love, my finances answer to no one but me, my practicum/internship site makes me want to be a better person, I'm going to church sometimes, I'm in a Masters program where being a misfit is an employable skill, and I'm slowly accepting the fact that dating just isn't for me.
2) Things were much worse last year at this time, and my trich symptoms came back for the first time since childhood and it was really, really embarrassing and like. I realized that the only time I wasn't pulling my hair was when I was wearing a wig, so I thought, "You know what? Fuck everything. My hair looks like garbage because so much of it is gone and I wear a hoodie all the time anyway. I'm shaving it off." So, I've been wearing wigs for an entire year now and... it's the only thing that's ever helped. Seriously. I've never really talked about it because I hate talking about self-harm in general and trich is one of those things that grosses out a lot of people, and I think the only ones who knew were my parents, one friend who took care of me when I was sick at a con, another one who was excited and wanted to see it, and a practicum friend that I'd go swimming with over the summer.
My natural hair is almost down to my shoulders now, and it's still uneven as hell and I never ever ever show it in public but I can't believe this helped me as much as it did.
3) Tumblr is my main hangout anyway so I guess I don't care about how uncomfortable and embarrassing my entries are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!