"I only keep myself this sick in the head 'cause I know how the words get you."
I just felt like posting but I don't have much to say. Just the usual emo ramblings.
I think one of the scariest things is that I always assumed that I'd grow up one day and things would be better. And things are better, in some ways. I've had a lot of new memories lately to help me forget the bad ones. But I'm still kinda screwed. And for all my introspection I still can't figure shit out. Like, hurting myself. I don't hate myself anymore, I really don't. I guess I just got kinda addicted to it just like other shit, learnt it felt good, calmed me down ('cause that makes sense /sarcasm). Idk. It's stupid though. Really stupid. I do know. But then again, it's always one thing to know and another thing completely to actually do something about it.
It's weird, I never really realise until I actually tell someone something, and they're like 'what the fuck? Oh my God' or whatever, and I'm like... 'it's not that bad, that's just ~life' and they're like '...' lol. It's pretty surreal to see people's reactions to how I grew up. David laughed, but only 'cause I was laughing. I was laughing to make light of it. Not a big fan of pity, but I do like to see the reactions lol. It's just interesting.
I think one of the scariest things is that I always assumed that I'd grow up one day and things would be better. And things are better, in some ways. I've had a lot of new memories lately to help me forget the bad ones. But I'm still kinda screwed. And for all my introspection I still can't figure shit out. Like, hurting myself. I don't hate myself anymore, I really don't. I guess I just got kinda addicted to it just like other shit, learnt it felt good, calmed me down ('cause that makes sense /sarcasm). Idk. It's stupid though. Really stupid. I do know. But then again, it's always one thing to know and another thing completely to actually do something about it.
It's weird, I never really realise until I actually tell someone something, and they're like 'what the fuck? Oh my God' or whatever, and I'm like... 'it's not that bad, that's just ~life' and they're like '...' lol. It's pretty surreal to see people's reactions to how I grew up. David laughed, but only 'cause I was laughing. I was laughing to make light of it. Not a big fan of pity, but I do like to see the reactions lol. It's just interesting.