art woes
When I was a fifteen-year old fledgling I used to have this dream that I would someday end up in art school. It was partly why I pushed to get into IB, even after my mother told me they couldn’t spare the money for the registration-I wanted to land into a decent art school abroad, and get some scholarships in the process.
Seven years later that dream is not realized, though it may very well have been, if not for my dad (“you’re only seventeen, you can’t move to the states and live alone”) and my colonel (? I think his rank was something along that line-either way, he was that heavy military guy) uncle-in-law (“don’t be stupid, study management instead and be the boss of those graphic designers”). In short, those two authority figures had an influence over the decision I made.
When I graduated university (majoring in not art, obviously, rather something that comes with hefty paychecks at calculable risk with considerable slack time) my dad came to me and asked me if I would like to resume my previous dream of going to art school. I flat out refused, and I did so with little to no feeling at all. Maybe it was that, for the last four years, I had been telling myself the same thing: I didn’t need it, and it wouldn’t do me any good, anyway; I repeated this over and over like a mantra on my way to a fucking pain in the ass Controlling class.
Being a little older I think I can understand what my dad and the colonel meant now. When I look at the people who I know that actually went to art school, it makes me cringe to see them struggle-from what I’ve found, either they’re not working at art-related jobs at all, or more rarely, putting up with the ridiculously underhanded advertising industry.
And knowing what I know of myself, I wouldn’t have been able to stand either.
I wouldn’t have enjoyed being a university graduate working a job where high-school graduates, though ‘specialized’, would be preferred over me for knowing more AutoCAD. I wouldn’t have enjoyed getting wanker’s cramp from drawing the same naked model for hours for years, and then after graduating, proceed to create the same generic crap anyone with a pair of functioning eyeballs (bonus: and the knowledge of the words ‘minimal’ and ‘helvetica’) can shit out in two hours in InDesign. I wouldn’t have enjoyed having to go to fucking DeviantArt to open commissions and to piss on my dignity by accepting to draw anime for thirteen year olds with some pocket money because mine is running dry.
I realize I am coming off as completely infantile, what with being so disillusioned with art school despite never having went to one. Call it my attempt to console myself-I don’t care. I just sometimes find myself being sad for other people if their years of effort is simply wasted, or, especially, people with considerable talent who have to whittle themselves down to conform, when they could be so much more.
If I could talk to my fifteen-year old self I would tell myself the following:
· Stop drawing anime. Listen to your seventy-year-old art professor great-uncle. He is not talking out of his ass. Anime will only bog you down and make you memorize shit without learning them. This will bite you in the ass when you have to push all that shit you memorized out of your brain when you eventually decide to draw seriously. The only thing it will help you with is to improve your linework, and even that is going to get fucked when you learn that pencil drawings are about shadows, not lines.
· Stop getting instant gratification from deviantArt. Surrounding yourself with likeminded anime artists who say good things about what are obviously shit drawings will send you spiraling down that rabbit hole, and you will find out too late that it is, in actuality, a shit hole. Do not shoo away the thirty-year-old comic artist guy when he attempts to give you constructive criticism. Even better, stop getting instant gratification from places where said likeminded anime artists poke fun at Chris-chan and Sonic fanart done by thirteen year olds on deviantArt in an attempt to feel better about their shitty anime.
· Stop crying about art school. It’s one of those things you’re better off without. You will still be drawing, and without some idiot professor shoving deadlines in your face. You can learn color theory from people who know what they’re talking about on the internet, instead of some talentless dickhead who gets a paycheck for bullshitting in some shitty university-the good lectures are right there online. Failing that, LOOMIS. No, seriously, fucking /ic/ and its list of pdfs will help you more.
· Draw. Motherfucker.
Case in point: Drawing again. Time for more studies.
Seven years later that dream is not realized, though it may very well have been, if not for my dad (“you’re only seventeen, you can’t move to the states and live alone”) and my colonel (? I think his rank was something along that line-either way, he was that heavy military guy) uncle-in-law (“don’t be stupid, study management instead and be the boss of those graphic designers”). In short, those two authority figures had an influence over the decision I made.
When I graduated university (majoring in not art, obviously, rather something that comes with hefty paychecks at calculable risk with considerable slack time) my dad came to me and asked me if I would like to resume my previous dream of going to art school. I flat out refused, and I did so with little to no feeling at all. Maybe it was that, for the last four years, I had been telling myself the same thing: I didn’t need it, and it wouldn’t do me any good, anyway; I repeated this over and over like a mantra on my way to a fucking pain in the ass Controlling class.
Being a little older I think I can understand what my dad and the colonel meant now. When I look at the people who I know that actually went to art school, it makes me cringe to see them struggle-from what I’ve found, either they’re not working at art-related jobs at all, or more rarely, putting up with the ridiculously underhanded advertising industry.
And knowing what I know of myself, I wouldn’t have been able to stand either.
I wouldn’t have enjoyed being a university graduate working a job where high-school graduates, though ‘specialized’, would be preferred over me for knowing more AutoCAD. I wouldn’t have enjoyed getting wanker’s cramp from drawing the same naked model for hours for years, and then after graduating, proceed to create the same generic crap anyone with a pair of functioning eyeballs (bonus: and the knowledge of the words ‘minimal’ and ‘helvetica’) can shit out in two hours in InDesign. I wouldn’t have enjoyed having to go to fucking DeviantArt to open commissions and to piss on my dignity by accepting to draw anime for thirteen year olds with some pocket money because mine is running dry.
I realize I am coming off as completely infantile, what with being so disillusioned with art school despite never having went to one. Call it my attempt to console myself-I don’t care. I just sometimes find myself being sad for other people if their years of effort is simply wasted, or, especially, people with considerable talent who have to whittle themselves down to conform, when they could be so much more.
If I could talk to my fifteen-year old self I would tell myself the following:
· Stop drawing anime. Listen to your seventy-year-old art professor great-uncle. He is not talking out of his ass. Anime will only bog you down and make you memorize shit without learning them. This will bite you in the ass when you have to push all that shit you memorized out of your brain when you eventually decide to draw seriously. The only thing it will help you with is to improve your linework, and even that is going to get fucked when you learn that pencil drawings are about shadows, not lines.
· Stop getting instant gratification from deviantArt. Surrounding yourself with likeminded anime artists who say good things about what are obviously shit drawings will send you spiraling down that rabbit hole, and you will find out too late that it is, in actuality, a shit hole. Do not shoo away the thirty-year-old comic artist guy when he attempts to give you constructive criticism. Even better, stop getting instant gratification from places where said likeminded anime artists poke fun at Chris-chan and Sonic fanart done by thirteen year olds on deviantArt in an attempt to feel better about their shitty anime.
· Stop crying about art school. It’s one of those things you’re better off without. You will still be drawing, and without some idiot professor shoving deadlines in your face. You can learn color theory from people who know what they’re talking about on the internet, instead of some talentless dickhead who gets a paycheck for bullshitting in some shitty university-the good lectures are right there online. Failing that, LOOMIS. No, seriously, fucking /ic/ and its list of pdfs will help you more.
· Draw. Motherfucker.
Case in point: Drawing again. Time for more studies.