Dear subconcious: STFU
It's gone from 'you call this spring, I'm wearing gloves' to 'oh god why is it so hot' in a week, and with the humidity and high temperatures have come... bad dreams! Yes, my self-fulfilling prophecy of 'hot weather gives me stranger dreams' has turned into 'hot weather gives me bad dreams'.
I think there should be a distinction between nightmares and bad dreams. To me, nightmares are scary. Monsters, werewolves, zombies, something chasing you... stuff that is more horrormovie. Bad dreams are just dreams about bad things.
It started with a dream about Pol and Gandalf having died in a car accident, and whoops, everyone forgot to tell me for a few days, and then having to figure out what the hell I needed to do. What would happen to the house, could I get time off work, settling the legal issues, the funeral, making sure my brother didn't piss away all the money and become a hobo, what would happen to me (going to work while grieving, no safety net should I lose my job, no more 'going home for the weekends'). It was just one worry after another and my brain and thus dream-me trying to solve them.
The second dream was a bit less realistic and involves me totalling someone's van. You know the Scooby Doo van? Think of that one, only pink. That's what I asked to borrow, I'd be back in half an hour... and then I got cut off on the highway, slid off the road, drove over another car on a lower street and then hit a bunch of those concrete decorative balls you have in the city centre to keep cars out of the pedestian area. Everyone was staring and such. Luckily, I woke up before the owner of the van found out.
The third dream was pretty realistic again, except for some geography issues (my grandmother does not live in a villa in the neighbourhood behind the VA, brain). I had borrowed Pol and Gandalf's car and was driving with Pol when I hard to stop and park. Only the car kept jerking forward. I tried everything, breaking, handbreak, using the clutch.
I couldn't really get out of the car because it kept shooting forward, and I needed to keep steering. Pol called Gandalf in a panic and he ran over (the neighbourhood where I was driving was five minutes from where I live now) and started telling me what to do, only it wasn't working. It was just a very awkward, scary dream, because I did not want to total the car and Gandalf get getting angrier.
Those last two dreams were quite funny when I woke up, because I never got these anxiety dreams in all the months and months I had driving lessons. I recently even took Pol and Gandalf's car out ON MY OWN and drove to a housewarming in a big city (Den Bosch, where I took my first exam). I stayed calm, fixed my mistakes, watched for signs and managed to get myself out of a tricky situation when the navigation kept steering me wrong due to roadworks.
So of course, once I proved to myself I can drive by myself, my brain goes: Let's give Inny bad dreams about not being able to drive. ... at least Neal Caffrey wasn't there to berate me this time. Asshole.
Other than that, life has been fine. I am being social, doing fun things like going to the Book Market (so many discounted books!) and to Aken and visiting the new knitting shop and eating Frozen Yoghurt at Frozz. I'm planning my birthday party and will be baking cupcakes (with help, because I messed up the just-add-water-brownies last time) and am planning a PolClary photoshoot with some friends.
Though today, I tragically lost my wooden stool before its time. Which wouldn't have been so bad, but I was standing on it at the time it collapsed into several pieces. I'm completely fine, though the cat freaked the hell out and I mourn the loss of my stool. It was so pretty! And I had decoupaged it entirely.
I think there should be a distinction between nightmares and bad dreams. To me, nightmares are scary. Monsters, werewolves, zombies, something chasing you... stuff that is more horrormovie. Bad dreams are just dreams about bad things.
It started with a dream about Pol and Gandalf having died in a car accident, and whoops, everyone forgot to tell me for a few days, and then having to figure out what the hell I needed to do. What would happen to the house, could I get time off work, settling the legal issues, the funeral, making sure my brother didn't piss away all the money and become a hobo, what would happen to me (going to work while grieving, no safety net should I lose my job, no more 'going home for the weekends'). It was just one worry after another and my brain and thus dream-me trying to solve them.
The second dream was a bit less realistic and involves me totalling someone's van. You know the Scooby Doo van? Think of that one, only pink. That's what I asked to borrow, I'd be back in half an hour... and then I got cut off on the highway, slid off the road, drove over another car on a lower street and then hit a bunch of those concrete decorative balls you have in the city centre to keep cars out of the pedestian area. Everyone was staring and such. Luckily, I woke up before the owner of the van found out.
The third dream was pretty realistic again, except for some geography issues (my grandmother does not live in a villa in the neighbourhood behind the VA, brain). I had borrowed Pol and Gandalf's car and was driving with Pol when I hard to stop and park. Only the car kept jerking forward. I tried everything, breaking, handbreak, using the clutch.
I couldn't really get out of the car because it kept shooting forward, and I needed to keep steering. Pol called Gandalf in a panic and he ran over (the neighbourhood where I was driving was five minutes from where I live now) and started telling me what to do, only it wasn't working. It was just a very awkward, scary dream, because I did not want to total the car and Gandalf get getting angrier.
Those last two dreams were quite funny when I woke up, because I never got these anxiety dreams in all the months and months I had driving lessons. I recently even took Pol and Gandalf's car out ON MY OWN and drove to a housewarming in a big city (Den Bosch, where I took my first exam). I stayed calm, fixed my mistakes, watched for signs and managed to get myself out of a tricky situation when the navigation kept steering me wrong due to roadworks.
So of course, once I proved to myself I can drive by myself, my brain goes: Let's give Inny bad dreams about not being able to drive. ... at least Neal Caffrey wasn't there to berate me this time. Asshole.
Other than that, life has been fine. I am being social, doing fun things like going to the Book Market (so many discounted books!) and to Aken and visiting the new knitting shop and eating Frozen Yoghurt at Frozz. I'm planning my birthday party and will be baking cupcakes (with help, because I messed up the just-add-water-brownies last time) and am planning a PolClary photoshoot with some friends.
Though today, I tragically lost my wooden stool before its time. Which wouldn't have been so bad, but I was standing on it at the time it collapsed into several pieces. I'm completely fine, though the cat freaked the hell out and I mourn the loss of my stool. It was so pretty! And I had decoupaged it entirely.