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Ah man, i'm down. It's been such a bad day. Actually it's been such a bad week. No wait i'm wrong...it's been such a bad year. Yeah, this year has been poo. And I'm not just talking about certain instances, I'm talking about just plain ol' poo. Nothing goes right. I can't figure anything out on my own. Its UGH. yea thats the word - UGHHHHHHHH
Ok so this is definitely not the time i should be even coming to this site, but hey, molly's got to do what she's got to do.
So yeah, things are so uncool. Times are uncool. People are uncool. A Person is uncool. School is uncool. My family is uncool. Food is uncool. My shoes are uncool. Ummm...I'M UNCOOL. (yea not everyday ya gonna hear that come from me...hehe just kidding)
But seriously...I'm going insane. I just want to genuinely laugh. Ya know? Like a good hardy laugh. Actually today at lunch as we constantly told Tori's "weekend" story I laughed until i cried. Haha thats a memory. Anywho. yea i mean like i want to laugh like i used to. Everyday was carefree wooo hoooo! Now its like "i need to do this, i need to do that." See? yea uncool.
I can't even think straight...look at the way i'm writing! Why am I up? Why am i doing this right now? anyone? anyone!?
Basically i just need to express my frustration. And hopefully next time i come to this i will be happy and up to dancing. I mean there ya go another example of how it used to be...I Used to dance around the house all the time. Ok, yea i danced when no one was around. Not gonna lie, me dancing isn't so pretty. But still i would BLAST my music, open all the doors and run around. It was crazy, it was fun, i told people about it :/ haha, now it seems a little awkward. But I was yes...a full out room dancer, but really i was a room, bed, bathroom, staircase, kitchen dancer. I'd have to say those were my best days...aww memories.
OH MY GOD, THATS IT. I need to stop living in my memories. All I talk about is past past past. I need present present present. Thats why i'm down, i keep wondering why nothing is the same...like nothing. My feelings, my attitude, my friends, my lovers (wait, what lovers?), my skin, my fingers (yea no joke my fingers look different). I thought it was all just because i may have gained weight...but i didn't. I'm missing out on everything. It's because I'm still living in the past while things are happening around me. All these things are happening and I can't even appreciate anything because I've got my head in my pillow and my ears plugged. I need to step out of my room and face the music. Everyone is moving forward but me. And i thought that moving forward would come naturally, but no, i'm completely wrong. I am the only one who will move myself forward. No one can do it for me and nothing is holding me back but myself. Like honestly NOTHING is holding me back. Ok this may not make since, and yes i'm not stupid i've known it all along, its just that i actually have to start making the effort. I need to do this. Molly you need to do this. I am going to do this.
molly
P.S. I'm stressed out about school...but it will all be over by wednesday at 2:55...hopefully.
Ok so this is definitely not the time i should be even coming to this site, but hey, molly's got to do what she's got to do.
So yeah, things are so uncool. Times are uncool. People are uncool. A Person is uncool. School is uncool. My family is uncool. Food is uncool. My shoes are uncool. Ummm...I'M UNCOOL. (yea not everyday ya gonna hear that come from me...hehe just kidding)
But seriously...I'm going insane. I just want to genuinely laugh. Ya know? Like a good hardy laugh. Actually today at lunch as we constantly told Tori's "weekend" story I laughed until i cried. Haha thats a memory. Anywho. yea i mean like i want to laugh like i used to. Everyday was carefree wooo hoooo! Now its like "i need to do this, i need to do that." See? yea uncool.
I can't even think straight...look at the way i'm writing! Why am I up? Why am i doing this right now? anyone? anyone!?
Basically i just need to express my frustration. And hopefully next time i come to this i will be happy and up to dancing. I mean there ya go another example of how it used to be...I Used to dance around the house all the time. Ok, yea i danced when no one was around. Not gonna lie, me dancing isn't so pretty. But still i would BLAST my music, open all the doors and run around. It was crazy, it was fun, i told people about it :/ haha, now it seems a little awkward. But I was yes...a full out room dancer, but really i was a room, bed, bathroom, staircase, kitchen dancer. I'd have to say those were my best days...aww memories.
OH MY GOD, THATS IT. I need to stop living in my memories. All I talk about is past past past. I need present present present. Thats why i'm down, i keep wondering why nothing is the same...like nothing. My feelings, my attitude, my friends, my lovers (wait, what lovers?), my skin, my fingers (yea no joke my fingers look different). I thought it was all just because i may have gained weight...but i didn't. I'm missing out on everything. It's because I'm still living in the past while things are happening around me. All these things are happening and I can't even appreciate anything because I've got my head in my pillow and my ears plugged. I need to step out of my room and face the music. Everyone is moving forward but me. And i thought that moving forward would come naturally, but no, i'm completely wrong. I am the only one who will move myself forward. No one can do it for me and nothing is holding me back but myself. Like honestly NOTHING is holding me back. Ok this may not make since, and yes i'm not stupid i've known it all along, its just that i actually have to start making the effort. I need to do this. Molly you need to do this. I am going to do this.
molly
P.S. I'm stressed out about school...but it will all be over by wednesday at 2:55...hopefully.