this week's question....
what would jesus do? wwjd?
if you read the bible, the following list describes the main (undebated) things that jesus did in the records on his life and teachings.
1) invented new religious doctrine contrary to the established doctrine of his professed religion
2) prophesized in the name of his god
3) performed miracles in the name of his god
5) said that he was the son of god, as well being god clothed in flesh
4) hung out with whores, pimps, thieves, and murderers (he was clearly a gangbanger)
5) kept thirteen other guys around just to tell them they were always wrong no matter what they said
6) got himself stapled to a large wooden implement (probably for being such a dick to the thirteen guys)
so if you're devoutly religious and are one of those people that fall under the classification "not the son of god" and you are at least partially astute, you will notice that the only really viable answer is #6. keeping this in mind, i suggest that if you find yourself frequently asking this type of question, then maybe you take my answer to heart and try it out. i'll lend you my staple gun too.
maybe the religious right has the right prejudices. maybe you can't trust those long-haired socialist hippie types when it comes to issues dealing with religion and morality.
bill hicks:
"i've noticed that a lot of christians nowadays wear crosses.
heh, when jesus comes back, do you think he's gonna wanna see a fucking cross?
maybe that's why he hasn't showed up yet.
'geez, 2000 years and they're still wearing crosses. fuck this. they missed the point entirely. when they start wearing fishes, i'll go back'
it's like walking up to jackie onassis (kennedy) with a rifle pendant on.
'we love you jackie. we miss john too. we just wanna keep that memory alive'"
if you read the bible, the following list describes the main (undebated) things that jesus did in the records on his life and teachings.
1) invented new religious doctrine contrary to the established doctrine of his professed religion
2) prophesized in the name of his god
3) performed miracles in the name of his god
5) said that he was the son of god, as well being god clothed in flesh
4) hung out with whores, pimps, thieves, and murderers (he was clearly a gangbanger)
5) kept thirteen other guys around just to tell them they were always wrong no matter what they said
6) got himself stapled to a large wooden implement (probably for being such a dick to the thirteen guys)
so if you're devoutly religious and are one of those people that fall under the classification "not the son of god" and you are at least partially astute, you will notice that the only really viable answer is #6. keeping this in mind, i suggest that if you find yourself frequently asking this type of question, then maybe you take my answer to heart and try it out. i'll lend you my staple gun too.
maybe the religious right has the right prejudices. maybe you can't trust those long-haired socialist hippie types when it comes to issues dealing with religion and morality.
bill hicks:
"i've noticed that a lot of christians nowadays wear crosses.
heh, when jesus comes back, do you think he's gonna wanna see a fucking cross?
maybe that's why he hasn't showed up yet.
'geez, 2000 years and they're still wearing crosses. fuck this. they missed the point entirely. when they start wearing fishes, i'll go back'
it's like walking up to jackie onassis (kennedy) with a rifle pendant on.
'we love you jackie. we miss john too. we just wanna keep that memory alive'"