call down a blessing
I'm putting this here because it feels a bit more real than facebook (& because I can disable comments if I change my mind) -- part of this is that I know that none of you know about all the reasons this is so especially awful, and it's not really anyone's business, either, so I don't want to talk about it. All the condolences from people who never met John feel hollow, everything feels like no one *I* know really understands what we just lost (the comments from folks who actually knew John well feel right). I haven't felt this way about condolences from folks on previous deaths; my grandparents, for example. But I have a special anger about how awful this is, and I don't even know how to write about it, even privately, for myself.
https://www.facebook.com/abjb123/posts/10204818008048302
(the title of this post comes from a song/chant that John would perform anytime we needed to give thanks & invoke a blessing. edit: such as in the picture below, from our rehearsal dinner in 2010.)
https://www.facebook.com/abjb123/posts/10204818008048302
(the title of this post comes from a song/chant that John would perform anytime we needed to give thanks & invoke a blessing. edit: such as in the picture below, from our rehearsal dinner in 2010.)