Ode to a Perfect Nephew
And now, a small essay about my nephew:
My nephew is the most beautiful little boy in the whole world.
Sometimes, when he makes a pouty-face, I am convinced that he knows how attractive he is and is using his good looks for evil.
My nephew is really hot, and at the age of three, that's saying a lot.
The only baby hotter than my nephew is a little baby called Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and that's really not my nephew's fault, it's my sister's fault for not marrying Brad Pitt.
In any case, when they eventually mate, the super race will have been created.
If my nephew chooses you as someone with whom he bestows love, then you will get to experience true joy that only happens to a very few.
If he believes you are good enough to hold his hand, or take off his shoes, or read him a story - then you are the lucky one.
If my nephew chooses to give you kisses, you no longer need to live, as all that can be experienced in this world has been experienced.
If my nephew tells you that a cookie is a circle, well you better appreciate that comment and notice how smart he is.
If he then tells you that green means go - you should be aware that you are in the presence of pure genius.
At this point you should realize that rarely are genius and hottness combined, and therefore you should again be in awe.
My nephew is so cute that I've actually seen strangers suddenly hear their biological clock ticking - which is sad, the power he has.
My nephew also likes to roar like a dinosaur, don't you?
My nephew has recently taken to tattelling. Which is awesome. Tell on the whole world nephew, they deserve it!
The End
My nephew is the most beautiful little boy in the whole world.
Sometimes, when he makes a pouty-face, I am convinced that he knows how attractive he is and is using his good looks for evil.
My nephew is really hot, and at the age of three, that's saying a lot.
The only baby hotter than my nephew is a little baby called Shiloh Jolie-Pitt and that's really not my nephew's fault, it's my sister's fault for not marrying Brad Pitt.
In any case, when they eventually mate, the super race will have been created.
If my nephew chooses you as someone with whom he bestows love, then you will get to experience true joy that only happens to a very few.
If he believes you are good enough to hold his hand, or take off his shoes, or read him a story - then you are the lucky one.
If my nephew chooses to give you kisses, you no longer need to live, as all that can be experienced in this world has been experienced.
If my nephew tells you that a cookie is a circle, well you better appreciate that comment and notice how smart he is.
If he then tells you that green means go - you should be aware that you are in the presence of pure genius.
At this point you should realize that rarely are genius and hottness combined, and therefore you should again be in awe.
My nephew is so cute that I've actually seen strangers suddenly hear their biological clock ticking - which is sad, the power he has.
My nephew also likes to roar like a dinosaur, don't you?
My nephew has recently taken to tattelling. Which is awesome. Tell on the whole world nephew, they deserve it!
The End