(no subject)
Well i can actually say that yesterday was a good day. I didn't cry at all. It's sad when it's considered a good day when you aren't crying through it.And as Stacy told me "you know what, it's the baby steps that matters most".I have been talking with some people, no one perfessional, but to the one in particular, you won't see this, but i want to thank you. Out nightly chats mean alot to me and you have helped me get through some things and helped me realize alot about myself and the things that i have been going through.
To Billy-Again i am sorry that i had to put u through this personal hell, i never inteneded it to get this bad, but thank you for being there. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!
Josh-A great friend adn someone that i amazingly feel really great telling all my problems to, can't wait till you can see the show!
Cassie- it took some time but i am glad that we are talking again.
Emily-I thank god that you have come around to help me with my problems
Jackie- IT's been too long, i will be coming home soon
And Lisa-yes Lisa- Thank you for seeing that we have lost by not being friends and just being stupid. I am sorry for that. And thank you for everything!
And everyone else that has noticed something was up, thank you for the patience and i promise that i will get over this, just give me time.
It's amazing the more and more that i listen to that MCR song, I'm Not Okay the more it makes sense, I guess me hearing it for the first time, was a foreshadow of something big to come. Well hello world here it is.
Another good day today, good grades on both tests, adn actaully smiled. for no good reason today and it felt amazing.
Eating has gotten alittle better, you be thinking ok, why the hell is she talking about this here, where everyone can read and judge and poke fun. Well i have been told that i need to seek help and talk about these things, i bottled everything up and now look at the mess i am. I ate dinner last night then went to the gym, today i have had half a strawberry and a smoothie, i think i will eat dinner then it's off to the gym with Jen. I am just not hungry, or i begin to think about my uniform adn the show and i can't bring myself to eat. But it's getting easier....
I have an addiction and i think it's going to do more harm them good, but i can't stop. That is why they call it an addiction though huh! To bad i had to get one to fully understand that.
To Billy-Again i am sorry that i had to put u through this personal hell, i never inteneded it to get this bad, but thank you for being there. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH!
Josh-A great friend adn someone that i amazingly feel really great telling all my problems to, can't wait till you can see the show!
Cassie- it took some time but i am glad that we are talking again.
Emily-I thank god that you have come around to help me with my problems
Jackie- IT's been too long, i will be coming home soon
And Lisa-yes Lisa- Thank you for seeing that we have lost by not being friends and just being stupid. I am sorry for that. And thank you for everything!
And everyone else that has noticed something was up, thank you for the patience and i promise that i will get over this, just give me time.
It's amazing the more and more that i listen to that MCR song, I'm Not Okay the more it makes sense, I guess me hearing it for the first time, was a foreshadow of something big to come. Well hello world here it is.
Another good day today, good grades on both tests, adn actaully smiled. for no good reason today and it felt amazing.
Eating has gotten alittle better, you be thinking ok, why the hell is she talking about this here, where everyone can read and judge and poke fun. Well i have been told that i need to seek help and talk about these things, i bottled everything up and now look at the mess i am. I ate dinner last night then went to the gym, today i have had half a strawberry and a smoothie, i think i will eat dinner then it's off to the gym with Jen. I am just not hungry, or i begin to think about my uniform adn the show and i can't bring myself to eat. But it's getting easier....
I have an addiction and i think it's going to do more harm them good, but i can't stop. That is why they call it an addiction though huh! To bad i had to get one to fully understand that.