bad joke of the day

[mindyone1]

So today was Boxing Day and mom, dad and I hit the stores....and to tell you the truth? Not as busy as i was expecting.  I got the new Amy McKay book "The Virgin Cure" and a really nice, super soft throw for on my bed at the bookstore.  I LOVE giftcards and sales. Such a good combination.  We went to Barrie and went to the bookstore there but they didn't have anything else i was looking for. I picked up a couple of colouring books at the craft place and some groceries.  Not a whole lot shopping done.  I changed my bedding today and did more laundry.  I think that dad and i are going to rearrange some bookshelves tomorrow, he's made me a new clothing rack for in my room.  I figure that the two sets of books shelves that are in my alcove will go into the hallway, where the clothes currently live and the clothing rack will go into the alcove.  Wish me luck.  It's a lot of crap to move around but the new clothing rack is going to give me almost 24 more inches of space to hang stuff.  Today is December 26 and here is today's joke:

Ways to Terrorize a Telemarketer

1. Tell them to talk VERY SLOWLY, because you want to write EVERY WORD down.



2. Insist that the caller is really your buddy Leon, playing a joke. "Come on Leon, cut it out! Seriously, Leon, how's your momma?"



3. Tell the telemarketer you are busy at the moment and ask them if they will give you their HOME phone number so you can call them back. When the telemarketer explains that they cannot give out their HOME number, you say "I guess you don't want anyone bothering you at home, right?" The telemarketer will agree and you say, "Now you know how I feel!"



4. After the telemarketer gives their spiel, ask him/her to marry you. When they get all flustered, tell them that you could not just give your credit card number to a complete stranger.



5. Tell the telemarketer you are on "home incarceration" and ask if they could bring you a case of beer and some chips.



6. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money.



7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up for the Family and Friends plan, reply, in as SINISTER a voice as you can, "I don't have any friends... would you be my friend?"



8. Cry out in surprise, "Judy! Is that you? Oh my God! Judy, how have you been?" Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of pause as she tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.



9. If they say they're John Doe from XYZ Company, ask them to spell their name. Then ask them to spell the company name. Then ask them where it is located. Continue asking them personal questions or questions about their company for as long as necessary.



10. When they ask "How are you today?" Tell them! "I'm so glad you asked because no one these days seems to care, and I have all these problems; my arthritis is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..."

see you tomorrow!