bad joke of the day
So today at work seemed really, really long but it wasn't longer/busier than normal. Everyone was saying that though, so at least i am not the only one. Remember how i mentioned the girl that no one wanted to work with because she was a pain in the ass? Today was her last day. She quit and can i say that i'm not really upset about it? In Christmas baking news, I made whipped shortbread cookies at work today. Let's just say that i sold almost 6 dozen of them in 2 hours. I think that i will be making LOTS of those from now on. I have 36 hours next week, which is good because let's face it, i need the money. The only thing that sort of sucks is that 3 of the 5 shifts are 6 hour shifts. Those can be a little irritating because by the time you get your 30 minutes for lunch, you don't really have a lot of extra time to do stuff. It happens. Today i didn't go home though. I am dogsitting. It feels a little strange to not see Gibbs but i will be home tomorrow and see him then. Today is December 3 and here is today's joke:
The Non-Stress Diet
This diet is designed to help you cope with stress which normally builds up during the day.
Breakfast
1/2 Grapefruit
1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast, Dry
8 oz. Skim Milk
Lunch
4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast
1 cup Steamed Spinach
1 cup Herb Tea
1 Oreo Cookie
Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of the Oreos in the package
2 Pints Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce
Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream
Dinner
Loaves of Garlic Bread with Cheese
Large Sausage, Mushroom & Cheese Pizza
4 Cans or 1 Large Pitcher of Beer
3 Milky Way or Snickers Candy Bars
Rules For This Diet
1. If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Example: hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Example: Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.
8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
9. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories. Examples: Peanut Butter on a knife and ice cream on a spoon.
10. Food of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.
11. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other.
see you tomorrow!
The Non-Stress Diet
This diet is designed to help you cope with stress which normally builds up during the day.
Breakfast
1/2 Grapefruit
1 Slice Whole Wheat Toast, Dry
8 oz. Skim Milk
Lunch
4 oz. Lean Broiled Chicken Breast
1 cup Steamed Spinach
1 cup Herb Tea
1 Oreo Cookie
Mid-Afternoon Snack
Rest of the Oreos in the package
2 Pints Rocky Road Ice Cream
1 Jar Hot Fudge Sauce
Nuts, Cherries, Whipped Cream
Dinner
Loaves of Garlic Bread with Cheese
Large Sausage, Mushroom & Cheese Pizza
4 Cans or 1 Large Pitcher of Beer
3 Milky Way or Snickers Candy Bars
Rules For This Diet
1. If you eat something, and no one else sees you eat it, it has no calories.
2. When drinking a diet soda while eating a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled by the diet soda.
3. When you eat with someone else, calories don't count as long as you don't eat more than they do.
4. Foods used for medicinal purposes NEVER count. Example: hot chocolate, brandy, toast, and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
6. Movie-related foods do not have calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel. Example: Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints and Tootsie Rolls.
7. Cookie pieces contain no calories. The process of breaking the cookie causes calorie leakage.
8. Late-night snacks have no calories. The refrigerator light is not strong enough for the calories to see their way into the calorie counter.
9. If you are in the process of preparing something, food licked off knives and spoons have no calories. Examples: Peanut Butter on a knife and ice cream on a spoon.
10. Food of the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are spinach and pistachio ice cream, mushrooms and white chocolate.
11. Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other.
see you tomorrow!