Next!
Seriously. Am i gonna wind up one of those ppl who lets life happen all around me then suddenly realize that i'm what, 50, 60, and all alone? With nothing and nobody to show, no real record that i existed, no proof that i lived?
I can't even get the horse to the exerise paddock to socialize with the other horses. I like and want what i can't have; i stare at what i can't touch; i push when i should pull.
I wish i could pin down what's wrong with me n cast it out like the devil. It's like that with job hunting too... i try and try to market myself, to make myself look good, desirable, indispensible; but i always fall short. And i'm scared to know, but i probably fall long.
There has got to be something i can do. Something that is NOT being a classroom teacher, or some medical bullshit job.
And likewise, there has GOT to be something i can do to improve my loneliness. Because i can totally see myself living alone, in some dead-end, dumb-ass job that barely pays the bills, quietly sad and miserable, living that life of "quiet desperation," and sitting here in front of this computer having "fun" and "flirting" with all my online friends.
I can't even get the horse to the exerise paddock to socialize with the other horses. I like and want what i can't have; i stare at what i can't touch; i push when i should pull.
I wish i could pin down what's wrong with me n cast it out like the devil. It's like that with job hunting too... i try and try to market myself, to make myself look good, desirable, indispensible; but i always fall short. And i'm scared to know, but i probably fall long.
There has got to be something i can do. Something that is NOT being a classroom teacher, or some medical bullshit job.
And likewise, there has GOT to be something i can do to improve my loneliness. Because i can totally see myself living alone, in some dead-end, dumb-ass job that barely pays the bills, quietly sad and miserable, living that life of "quiet desperation," and sitting here in front of this computer having "fun" and "flirting" with all my online friends.