Perihal batu yang belum bersalah..
Hello y'all! Missed me? Sorry la gang, been busy with.. WORK. Boring I know. Apa nak buat, cari makan. Dan savings buat kahwing!
That mentioned, I finally found a piece of email I remembered receiving once, but then I don't know what happened to it, got lost in the deep realm of the world wide web and since then I haven't been able to find anything remotely close to it.
Shame on you Google.
But good news, recently I decided to blow some dust off my Tagged account, and as I profile hopped, I found what I was looking for! I hope whoever the genius was who came up with it doesn't mind that I edited it for easier reading, because very often in my conversations, I'd say, "Alahhhh, batu masih bersalah lagi tu!"
Perkara Sebelum Kahwin... Dan Kemudian, Selepas Kahwin
1) ANGKATKAN BEG
Sebelum kahwin: "Come sayang, let me carry the bag for u. Kesian u.."
Selepas kahwin: "Beg u pun u malas nak bawak. Lain kali takyah bawak beg ar!"
2) TERSUNGKUR BATU
Sebelum kahwin: "Sayang, intan payung, you ok tak darling? Bodoh punye batu!"
Selepas kahwin: "Jalan betol-betol la! Buta ke? Mata letak kat mana? Lutut? Batu tu punye besar pun tak nampak!"
3) PAKAI SEXY
Sebelum kahwin: "Lawanye u pakai baju ni. Sexy! Mcm nak gigit-gigit you skarang jugak!"
Selepas kahwin: "Ni ape ni, tetek terjojol, nampak longkang! Ngan babat berlipat-lipat! Tak malu ke?"
4) MANJA DI PUBLIC
Sebelum kahwin: "Manjenye syg I ni. Cium cikit syg! Firm nye pipi u!"
Selepas kahwin: "Oi! Org tengok ah! Tunggu balik rumah bole tak? Tak tahu malu ke orang tengok??"
5) KEMPUNAN
Sebelum kahwin: "U nak makan Burger Ramly? Ok, jap I fikir kat mana ada pasar malam. I gi cari, I belikan eh syg.."
Selepas kahwin: "Burger McDonald pun sama per! Jangan cerewet ah! Makan je, taknak sudah!"
6) KECANTIKAN
Sebelum kahwin: "Cantik nyer u hari ni.. Eyeshadow u lawa la! Berseri-seri muka u!"
Selepas kahwin: "Ape ni make up macam tepung gomak? Wayang pekji pn kalah tau!"
7) KEKAYAAN
Sebelum kahwin: "U takde banyak duit pun, I tetap sayang u. Kekayaan tak menjanjikan kebahagiaan."
Selepas kahwin: "Tu la, dulu taknak blajar betul-betul.. Skarang baru nak menyesal!"
8) SEX
Sebelum kahwin: "Kalau kita kahwin, hari-hari I nak main dgn u."
Selepas kahwin: "Eh, I penat tau! Ingat I robot ke? Gatal!"
9) KESABARAN
Sebelum kahwin: "Dahlah syg, jgn merajuk. Sorry eh syg. Memang salah I. Jgn merajuk lagi ye syg.. I mintak maaf. Maafkan i eh?"
Selepas kahwin: "Salah u, u nk suruh I ckp sorry? Banyak cantik muka u! Dah buat salah taknak mengaku. Tau nak merajuk jer!"
10) MASAKAN
Sebelum kahwin: "Sedapnye u masak.." (Walaupun tak sedap.)
Selepas kahwin: "Mak u tak ajar masak ke? Ni Nasi Lemak ke nasi basi?"
11) DUIT NO PROBLEM
Sebelum kahwin: "Sayang, kite makan dekat restaurant mahal tu eh? Mahal sikit takpe lah, skali skale.."
Selepas kahwin: "Mak oi! Peh mahal! Dah la! Mee goreng mamak lagi sdap. Tak mau ah!"
12) LUV PEGI LUV BALIK
Sebelum kahwin: "Bye syg, I luv u too. Muaks! Miss u la syg." (Padahal semalam baru jumpa.)
Selepas kahwin: "Ah, ok bye! Tak boleh lah. Kawan I ade ni! Bye la bye la!"
13) PENGORBANAN
Sebelum kahwin: "Takper syg, I tak kisah. I sanggup buat apa sajer untuk u. I fetch you later k?"
Selepas kahwin: "U ni, I penat baru balik kerja la. Apa salahnya u balik sendiri. Manja sangat lah!"
14) JUMPA LAMBAT
Sebelum kahwin: "Takpe syg. Asalkan u selamat sampai."
Selepas kahwin: "Takpe la. Dah biasa dah!"
15) BUANG ANGIN
Sebelum kahwin: "U kentot eh syg? Hehehehehe! Cute la u ni!" *cubit-cubit*
Selepas kahwin: "Oi, asal bole kentot je eh!" *pukul-pukul badan*
(And then siap dengan disclaimer tau email ni.) Hehehe... Mcm-mcm ragam manusia zaman skrg... Ni hanya buat renungan dan hiburan sahaja!
That said, true to some point isn't it? What happens during honeymoon period, and then after.
The Mat and I, we usually make jokes in 'Batu Belum Bersalah' style. I tell him to pass the ashtray and I go, "B, pass I ashtray please?". And then as he passes the ashtray, he'd jokingly say, "Skarang tanya baik-baik, nanti dah lama-lama you ckp ngan I, 'Eh ashtray bawak sini! Tak nampak ke orang nyer abok rokok dah nak berterabuh ni?'".
So the next time your gal pal is gushing about how romantic her new man is, and you're pretty much sick and tired of hearing that stuff (because we know that 87.236522% of Minahs fall in and out of love easily on the average of every 3.77429 months), you can quickly and easily dismiss her with a, "Ah sudahlah kau! Tak habis-habis story macam gini jer. Bila batu pulak yang tak bersalah?".
That mentioned, I finally found a piece of email I remembered receiving once, but then I don't know what happened to it, got lost in the deep realm of the world wide web and since then I haven't been able to find anything remotely close to it.
Shame on you Google.
But good news, recently I decided to blow some dust off my Tagged account, and as I profile hopped, I found what I was looking for! I hope whoever the genius was who came up with it doesn't mind that I edited it for easier reading, because very often in my conversations, I'd say, "Alahhhh, batu masih bersalah lagi tu!"
Perkara Sebelum Kahwin... Dan Kemudian, Selepas Kahwin
1) ANGKATKAN BEG
Sebelum kahwin: "Come sayang, let me carry the bag for u. Kesian u.."
Selepas kahwin: "Beg u pun u malas nak bawak. Lain kali takyah bawak beg ar!"
2) TERSUNGKUR BATU
Sebelum kahwin: "Sayang, intan payung, you ok tak darling? Bodoh punye batu!"
Selepas kahwin: "Jalan betol-betol la! Buta ke? Mata letak kat mana? Lutut? Batu tu punye besar pun tak nampak!"
3) PAKAI SEXY
Sebelum kahwin: "Lawanye u pakai baju ni. Sexy! Mcm nak gigit-gigit you skarang jugak!"
Selepas kahwin: "Ni ape ni, tetek terjojol, nampak longkang! Ngan babat berlipat-lipat! Tak malu ke?"
4) MANJA DI PUBLIC
Sebelum kahwin: "Manjenye syg I ni. Cium cikit syg! Firm nye pipi u!"
Selepas kahwin: "Oi! Org tengok ah! Tunggu balik rumah bole tak? Tak tahu malu ke orang tengok??"
5) KEMPUNAN
Sebelum kahwin: "U nak makan Burger Ramly? Ok, jap I fikir kat mana ada pasar malam. I gi cari, I belikan eh syg.."
Selepas kahwin: "Burger McDonald pun sama per! Jangan cerewet ah! Makan je, taknak sudah!"
6) KECANTIKAN
Sebelum kahwin: "Cantik nyer u hari ni.. Eyeshadow u lawa la! Berseri-seri muka u!"
Selepas kahwin: "Ape ni make up macam tepung gomak? Wayang pekji pn kalah tau!"
7) KEKAYAAN
Sebelum kahwin: "U takde banyak duit pun, I tetap sayang u. Kekayaan tak menjanjikan kebahagiaan."
Selepas kahwin: "Tu la, dulu taknak blajar betul-betul.. Skarang baru nak menyesal!"
8) SEX
Sebelum kahwin: "Kalau kita kahwin, hari-hari I nak main dgn u."
Selepas kahwin: "Eh, I penat tau! Ingat I robot ke? Gatal!"
9) KESABARAN
Sebelum kahwin: "Dahlah syg, jgn merajuk. Sorry eh syg. Memang salah I. Jgn merajuk lagi ye syg.. I mintak maaf. Maafkan i eh?"
Selepas kahwin: "Salah u, u nk suruh I ckp sorry? Banyak cantik muka u! Dah buat salah taknak mengaku. Tau nak merajuk jer!"
10) MASAKAN
Sebelum kahwin: "Sedapnye u masak.." (Walaupun tak sedap.)
Selepas kahwin: "Mak u tak ajar masak ke? Ni Nasi Lemak ke nasi basi?"
11) DUIT NO PROBLEM
Sebelum kahwin: "Sayang, kite makan dekat restaurant mahal tu eh? Mahal sikit takpe lah, skali skale.."
Selepas kahwin: "Mak oi! Peh mahal! Dah la! Mee goreng mamak lagi sdap. Tak mau ah!"
12) LUV PEGI LUV BALIK
Sebelum kahwin: "Bye syg, I luv u too. Muaks! Miss u la syg." (Padahal semalam baru jumpa.)
Selepas kahwin: "Ah, ok bye! Tak boleh lah. Kawan I ade ni! Bye la bye la!"
13) PENGORBANAN
Sebelum kahwin: "Takper syg, I tak kisah. I sanggup buat apa sajer untuk u. I fetch you later k?"
Selepas kahwin: "U ni, I penat baru balik kerja la. Apa salahnya u balik sendiri. Manja sangat lah!"
14) JUMPA LAMBAT
Sebelum kahwin: "Takpe syg. Asalkan u selamat sampai."
Selepas kahwin: "Takpe la. Dah biasa dah!"
15) BUANG ANGIN
Sebelum kahwin: "U kentot eh syg? Hehehehehe! Cute la u ni!" *cubit-cubit*
Selepas kahwin: "Oi, asal bole kentot je eh!" *pukul-pukul badan*
(And then siap dengan disclaimer tau email ni.) Hehehe... Mcm-mcm ragam manusia zaman skrg... Ni hanya buat renungan dan hiburan sahaja!
That said, true to some point isn't it? What happens during honeymoon period, and then after.
The Mat and I, we usually make jokes in 'Batu Belum Bersalah' style. I tell him to pass the ashtray and I go, "B, pass I ashtray please?". And then as he passes the ashtray, he'd jokingly say, "Skarang tanya baik-baik, nanti dah lama-lama you ckp ngan I, 'Eh ashtray bawak sini! Tak nampak ke orang nyer abok rokok dah nak berterabuh ni?'".
So the next time your gal pal is gushing about how romantic her new man is, and you're pretty much sick and tired of hearing that stuff (because we know that 87.236522% of Minahs fall in and out of love easily on the average of every 3.77429 months), you can quickly and easily dismiss her with a, "Ah sudahlah kau! Tak habis-habis story macam gini jer. Bila batu pulak yang tak bersalah?".