Sorry again... this might be long. Sorry again.
this boring streak going on in my life is totally effecting my writing. nothing happens, so no real need to write about anything. I think the last time I wrote, it was the night that Greg (yes, I'm actually using his real name) invited me to the dance thing. Well, I just got home about 5 minutes ago maybe. And ya know what? So many things went well tonight, and yet...idk...I feel a whole lot lonlier thinking about tomorrow than I did before. Blah...
So I get home and clean like no tomorrow. I feel the need to impress Greg since his house is always Beaver Cleaver clean. Thats a bad characterization, but it seems to fit. I love his house. Ok, so then out of no where, I feel wicked nervous about this. And thats so dumb!! Its Greg...He's totally my baby, but definately in a friend kinda way. We had our romantic times, we're really good friends now. And its good, with him theres like never any real awkwardness. So he gets here, and he looks good. He always looks good. I know what you're thinkin, but just trust me-- He's just a friend, but he's a very very hott friend. lol. So we went to Denny's, hehe, and that was good...had some normal conversation, then went back to his house before leaving again. Talked to his mom for a bit. Parents tend to freak me out, because I always want to make the best impression. But I just love Greg's mom. She kinda reminds me of mine a bit, prolly cuz they have a bunch in common. But she's always been just so nice and friendly, and doesn't seem too judgemental. So we hang out there for a bit, and then go. Hmmm... what to say about it. First of all, Greg treated me exactly how I would have liked him too. I was wondering, since he's a bit volnerable after getting his heart squashed by that boob, that maybe he'd want a lot of attention. And I'd give it to him if he wanted it, cuz I was there for him. But I didn't know if he'd get attached to that from me, because he missed her. But he was totally cool about it all. Pointed out plenty of times how he and I are just friends. It was very cool. I felt very very odd being there at times, but no one really knew me so I didn't after a while. Jen Casteline was at the door, so that made me feel better. Steve Kane was there... But we met a couple of Greg's friends at the door too. Pat and his girlfriend Megan, they're both very cool and Megan's really nice, so it made me more comfortable being there. And then...oh dear, we met his pal Bobby. WELL, good lord, I was just like "omg, Andrew Creagh has a clone!" But I think he does. And he goes to Forks. He dresses like him, he has lips like him, eyes like him, and he was even being a goober and running away from everyone who were trying to punch him. I was just like 'ohhhh crap'. Cuz whatever went on with Mr. Creagh and I sooooo long ago, I knew I'd be just totally attracted to this dude. SO I was kinda hoping he'd have a bad personality or something to turn me off. Naaa. He's kind of a dweeb, in a good sense, and he's sarcastic. Hmm, Andrew Creagh + sarcasm = BLAH, I'm attracted to ANOTHER younger dude. I really need to stop this. But the dance kinda blew some junks, so we all went BACK to Denny's. And that actually ended up being really cool. It was funny. Pat's really cool, he and his girlfriend have this awesome chemistry goin on, and Bobby was just like makin me peel over. Funny dweeb. TOO young, but funny dweeb... Until he started hitting on this other kids date. Then I was like...blah... not that I should have been attracted to him in the first place, but just...agh, even the creagh look-a-like shafted me. I learned this Bobbo was somewhat of a player, and user and yada yada. lol, but it was tempting. But I just said forget it, and the girl he was hitting on was actually pretty cool tho. So after like a second, I was fine. And Greg was just...really himself. Sometimes down at the lake, around other people, he's just not who he is with me. And I never really knew if he was pretending to be something he wasn't with me, or with those people down there. But it was awesome getting to chill with his pals. But like, once in a while, people I know from Forks were brought up. Like Eric...yikes. Bleck Bleck Bleck. Everyone seemed to enjoy the taunting of how he's dating a freshman. Ok. But then someone mentioned Adam, and...ahh, that really made me miss talking to him. Bobby thinks Adam's pretty cool. I appreciated that. But now I miss him a whollllllle lot more than I should. He still said he's my valentine, but it doesn't seem much seeing as he already kinda has a permenent one. I think he's just trying to cheer me up, by doin me a favor. But he said he'd stop in tomorrow after he gets done with work, and buy some vaniller coke. So that'll give me some sort of yay feeling. Umm, anything else? Krystal and Scott are back together. I didn't write about them breaking up, cuz I didn't feel like, but there. now I'll remember. So its cool they worked things out. Mm hmm. So, tomorrow's valentines day... and I'm kinda thinkin that it can kiss my ass right about now. I got my mom some carnations, cuz she'll be hangin out in the house tomorrow :-( my poor mom. She doesn't feel bad that she's alone, but I do. I want her to find the happiness that I sometimes feel. I want her to find love. I know she has before, otherwise I wouldn't be here, but still... idk. nevermind. screw tomorrow. I'll be at work all night anyways. I wish I could find my prince charming. I shoudln't complain because I know of people who are interested in me, but to those people idk, when I'm with them, it doesn't feel right. And I am just left feeling like somethings missing, and longing for that sense of completion. Then of course the boys I CAN'T have, and what not, they MUST have that sense I want, otherwise why would I crave something that doesn't want me back? Blah. Why can't I find what I'm looking for. What I'm comfy with. What I want. Blah, total Blah. This whole "Love" day can still eat me raw. Good night...
So I get home and clean like no tomorrow. I feel the need to impress Greg since his house is always Beaver Cleaver clean. Thats a bad characterization, but it seems to fit. I love his house. Ok, so then out of no where, I feel wicked nervous about this. And thats so dumb!! Its Greg...He's totally my baby, but definately in a friend kinda way. We had our romantic times, we're really good friends now. And its good, with him theres like never any real awkwardness. So he gets here, and he looks good. He always looks good. I know what you're thinkin, but just trust me-- He's just a friend, but he's a very very hott friend. lol. So we went to Denny's, hehe, and that was good...had some normal conversation, then went back to his house before leaving again. Talked to his mom for a bit. Parents tend to freak me out, because I always want to make the best impression. But I just love Greg's mom. She kinda reminds me of mine a bit, prolly cuz they have a bunch in common. But she's always been just so nice and friendly, and doesn't seem too judgemental. So we hang out there for a bit, and then go. Hmmm... what to say about it. First of all, Greg treated me exactly how I would have liked him too. I was wondering, since he's a bit volnerable after getting his heart squashed by that boob, that maybe he'd want a lot of attention. And I'd give it to him if he wanted it, cuz I was there for him. But I didn't know if he'd get attached to that from me, because he missed her. But he was totally cool about it all. Pointed out plenty of times how he and I are just friends. It was very cool. I felt very very odd being there at times, but no one really knew me so I didn't after a while. Jen Casteline was at the door, so that made me feel better. Steve Kane was there... But we met a couple of Greg's friends at the door too. Pat and his girlfriend Megan, they're both very cool and Megan's really nice, so it made me more comfortable being there. And then...oh dear, we met his pal Bobby. WELL, good lord, I was just like "omg, Andrew Creagh has a clone!" But I think he does. And he goes to Forks. He dresses like him, he has lips like him, eyes like him, and he was even being a goober and running away from everyone who were trying to punch him. I was just like 'ohhhh crap'. Cuz whatever went on with Mr. Creagh and I sooooo long ago, I knew I'd be just totally attracted to this dude. SO I was kinda hoping he'd have a bad personality or something to turn me off. Naaa. He's kind of a dweeb, in a good sense, and he's sarcastic. Hmm, Andrew Creagh + sarcasm = BLAH, I'm attracted to ANOTHER younger dude. I really need to stop this. But the dance kinda blew some junks, so we all went BACK to Denny's. And that actually ended up being really cool. It was funny. Pat's really cool, he and his girlfriend have this awesome chemistry goin on, and Bobby was just like makin me peel over. Funny dweeb. TOO young, but funny dweeb... Until he started hitting on this other kids date. Then I was like...blah... not that I should have been attracted to him in the first place, but just...agh, even the creagh look-a-like shafted me. I learned this Bobbo was somewhat of a player, and user and yada yada. lol, but it was tempting. But I just said forget it, and the girl he was hitting on was actually pretty cool tho. So after like a second, I was fine. And Greg was just...really himself. Sometimes down at the lake, around other people, he's just not who he is with me. And I never really knew if he was pretending to be something he wasn't with me, or with those people down there. But it was awesome getting to chill with his pals. But like, once in a while, people I know from Forks were brought up. Like Eric...yikes. Bleck Bleck Bleck. Everyone seemed to enjoy the taunting of how he's dating a freshman. Ok. But then someone mentioned Adam, and...ahh, that really made me miss talking to him. Bobby thinks Adam's pretty cool. I appreciated that. But now I miss him a whollllllle lot more than I should. He still said he's my valentine, but it doesn't seem much seeing as he already kinda has a permenent one. I think he's just trying to cheer me up, by doin me a favor. But he said he'd stop in tomorrow after he gets done with work, and buy some vaniller coke. So that'll give me some sort of yay feeling. Umm, anything else? Krystal and Scott are back together. I didn't write about them breaking up, cuz I didn't feel like, but there. now I'll remember. So its cool they worked things out. Mm hmm. So, tomorrow's valentines day... and I'm kinda thinkin that it can kiss my ass right about now. I got my mom some carnations, cuz she'll be hangin out in the house tomorrow :-( my poor mom. She doesn't feel bad that she's alone, but I do. I want her to find the happiness that I sometimes feel. I want her to find love. I know she has before, otherwise I wouldn't be here, but still... idk. nevermind. screw tomorrow. I'll be at work all night anyways. I wish I could find my prince charming. I shoudln't complain because I know of people who are interested in me, but to those people idk, when I'm with them, it doesn't feel right. And I am just left feeling like somethings missing, and longing for that sense of completion. Then of course the boys I CAN'T have, and what not, they MUST have that sense I want, otherwise why would I crave something that doesn't want me back? Blah. Why can't I find what I'm looking for. What I'm comfy with. What I want. Blah, total Blah. This whole "Love" day can still eat me raw. Good night...