Fic: Why Tim hates Curry(and FF.net)(Tim/Bart)
Title: Why Tim Hates Curry(and FF.net)
By: milleniumrex
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Tim Drake/Bart Allen
Words: 544
Summary: Tim learns why it's not a good idea to let a sick Bart near the internet.
Author's Notes/Warnings: Written for the prompt of "M-preg" for coldfiredragon's The Summer of Cliches Fic-a-thon!. Okay, so I totally blanked on this prompt and wrote this instead. But it's a fic about the concept of M-preg! Close enough, maybe? *puppy-dog eyes*
Tim had tried to warn Bart that Fire Thai Takeout in downtown Gotham had a pretty bad reputation, but Bart wanted Thai that night, and the decision was made. Tim was able to pick at the chicken satay and spring rolls and come out okay. Bart, on the other hand, tore through three containers of curry before Tim even looked up from his Satay. And sure enough, as soon as Tim rolled over in bed exhausted from the awesome sex(it was true - Bart could focus when he was into something. Focus real hard.), Bart felt the thai food coming back to haunt him, and had spent most of the evening in the bathroom reliving the meal.
Still, as aggravating as a case of food poisoning could be, Tim didn't think it was anything to scream about. At least not in the tone that Bart was screaming from the computer room.
"Bart! Bart, calm down! What's going on?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Tim grabbed a glass of water and lightly splashed a little in Bart's face, hoping to calm him. "Bart! I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong!"
"Aaaaaaaah?"
"Okay, that's slightly better, I guess. Now what happened?"
Bart started shaking, equally from the illness and whatever had scared him out of his mind. "Tim, brace yourself...I think I'm pregnant."
Tim blinked. Repeatedly. "Okay. I'm listening."
"I know, right? I can't believe it either! But I was looking around on the internet, and it's all over the place! There's hundreds of documented cases."
Tim scanned the screen. "Look, Bart...just because 'Cloud' and 'Sephiroth' are supposedly having a baby doesn't mean - "
"It's not just them, Tim! It's all over the place! And - and it all makes sense! We had sex, and it was awesome, but then I started throwing up! That's how it always begins!"
"...You know, Bart, you did just eat three bowls of curry in 2.7 seconds. I'm just saying, that might have something to do with it. Food poisoning? It seems a little more likely than this."
"Yeah, maybe! But what if it's not food poisoning? What if I'm pregnant, and I get fat, and there's no way I can run with a big belly, and then I'd have to give birth, and there's no way I'm equipped for that, unless I shoot the baby out my butt! And I was really not planning on shooting a baby out my butt anytime soon!"
Tim kept a straight face, knowing that Bart was actually scared at this prospect. "Look, man...if you want, tomorrow we'll go to the JSA and see Dr. Midnite, so he can check you out and make sure there's nothing abnormal. Right now, let's just go to bed and see if you feel better in the morning. Deal?"
"...Okay. Tim?"
"Yeah, Hummingbird?"
"You won't dump me if I'm pregnant, right?"
"Of course not. Hell, it would be my baby too, right?"
Bart smiled. "So, what would we name it? Maybe we could name it Max if it's a boy? That would be kinda nice."
"Sure, Bart. We can name it Max if it's a boy."
Bart grinned, and Tim couldn't help but smile back. Some days, dating Bart was an adventure in and of itself.
By: milleniumrex
Rating: PG-13
Characters: Tim Drake/Bart Allen
Words: 544
Summary: Tim learns why it's not a good idea to let a sick Bart near the internet.
Author's Notes/Warnings: Written for the prompt of "M-preg" for coldfiredragon's The Summer of Cliches Fic-a-thon!. Okay, so I totally blanked on this prompt and wrote this instead. But it's a fic about the concept of M-preg! Close enough, maybe? *puppy-dog eyes*
Tim had tried to warn Bart that Fire Thai Takeout in downtown Gotham had a pretty bad reputation, but Bart wanted Thai that night, and the decision was made. Tim was able to pick at the chicken satay and spring rolls and come out okay. Bart, on the other hand, tore through three containers of curry before Tim even looked up from his Satay. And sure enough, as soon as Tim rolled over in bed exhausted from the awesome sex(it was true - Bart could focus when he was into something. Focus real hard.), Bart felt the thai food coming back to haunt him, and had spent most of the evening in the bathroom reliving the meal.
Still, as aggravating as a case of food poisoning could be, Tim didn't think it was anything to scream about. At least not in the tone that Bart was screaming from the computer room.
"Bart! Bart, calm down! What's going on?"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"
Tim grabbed a glass of water and lightly splashed a little in Bart's face, hoping to calm him. "Bart! I can't help you if I don't know what's wrong!"
"Aaaaaaaah?"
"Okay, that's slightly better, I guess. Now what happened?"
Bart started shaking, equally from the illness and whatever had scared him out of his mind. "Tim, brace yourself...I think I'm pregnant."
Tim blinked. Repeatedly. "Okay. I'm listening."
"I know, right? I can't believe it either! But I was looking around on the internet, and it's all over the place! There's hundreds of documented cases."
Tim scanned the screen. "Look, Bart...just because 'Cloud' and 'Sephiroth' are supposedly having a baby doesn't mean - "
"It's not just them, Tim! It's all over the place! And - and it all makes sense! We had sex, and it was awesome, but then I started throwing up! That's how it always begins!"
"...You know, Bart, you did just eat three bowls of curry in 2.7 seconds. I'm just saying, that might have something to do with it. Food poisoning? It seems a little more likely than this."
"Yeah, maybe! But what if it's not food poisoning? What if I'm pregnant, and I get fat, and there's no way I can run with a big belly, and then I'd have to give birth, and there's no way I'm equipped for that, unless I shoot the baby out my butt! And I was really not planning on shooting a baby out my butt anytime soon!"
Tim kept a straight face, knowing that Bart was actually scared at this prospect. "Look, man...if you want, tomorrow we'll go to the JSA and see Dr. Midnite, so he can check you out and make sure there's nothing abnormal. Right now, let's just go to bed and see if you feel better in the morning. Deal?"
"...Okay. Tim?"
"Yeah, Hummingbird?"
"You won't dump me if I'm pregnant, right?"
"Of course not. Hell, it would be my baby too, right?"
Bart smiled. "So, what would we name it? Maybe we could name it Max if it's a boy? That would be kinda nice."
"Sure, Bart. We can name it Max if it's a boy."
Bart grinned, and Tim couldn't help but smile back. Some days, dating Bart was an adventure in and of itself.