Your Regular Dose of Fandom Insanity
It's that time again--Pairing List that Ate Fandom (ithurtsmybrain) time. In light of the fact I've never actually finished something I claimed, I didn't snag anything this time, despite the fact the relaxed claiming rules would have made it make more sense. Though I swear I am still working on previous claims, I just... get distracted, a lot. Anyway, in addition to the claiming-rule change, this time the interactions don't have to be romantic in nature, which made the list a lot more fun and less, "UGH PASS THE BLEACH"--for the most part. And since I've seen a couple other people do it, behold, entries that amused me/I had a comment on/struck me for some reason/I'd like to see.
5. Faramir (LotR)/Clarice Starling (The Silence of the Lambs)/Elizabeth Weir (Stargate Atlantis)
This is mostly because the idea of Starling and Weir interacting raises my eyebrows. I don't know what Faramir would be doing there, except possibly standing around looking pretty. Though he does do that well.
10. Remus Lupin (HP)/Ed Wood (Ed Wood)/Kel (Protector of the Small quartet)
20. Bridget Jones (Bridget Jones's Diary)/Penelope Clearwater (HP)/Archie Goodwin (Nero Wolfe)
27. Jon Stewart (The Daily Show)/Asher (Anita Blake books)
34. Matthew the Raven (Sandman)/Andromeda Black-Tonks (HP)
Matthew and Tonks would get along alarmingly well. I want Tonks and Matthew to work together and teach DADA. Yes.
35. Nancy Drew/Magneto (X-men movieverse)/Destruction (Sandman)
38. Peter Pettigrew (HP)/Alice (Alice in Wonderland)
39. Lady Sybil Ramkin (Discworld)/Christine Daae (Phantom of the Opera)
42. Tristan (King Arthur movie)/Mary Jane Parker (Spider-Man)
51. Nightcrawler (X-Men)/Ezekiel Stone (Brimstone)
There are about a billion reasons why this one is nifty, but all I can think is... is it movieverse Nightcrawler? Can he and Zeke compare tattoos? Could movieverse Nightcrawler read Zeke's tattoos? I'm not a big enough X-men fan for this to be a danger, but if I was I would be so screwed.
52. Kolchak (Kolchak the Night Stalker)/Delenn (Babylon 5)
58. Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG1)/The Cowardly Lion (Wizard of Oz)
61. Dr. Robert Chase (House)/Will Truman (Will and Grace)
65. Miles Vorkosigan (the Vorkosigan books)/Mary Jane (Spider-Man)/Wesley Wyndham-Pryce (Angel)
Another one of those threesome things where the thought of either of the two sets within it interacting is great--MJ would so push Miles's tall redhead button--but all three of them together is sort of, "Uh...."
66. The Gray Lady (HP)/Donald Trump (The Apprentice)
68. Original Cindy (Dark Angel)/Westley (Princess Bride)
75. Lust (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Dr. Gregory House (House)/C3PO (Star Wars)
.... But why is C3PO there?
96. Samson (Carnivale)/Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)
102. Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra)/Admiral Akbar (Star Wars)
108. Pete Ross (Smallville)/Zack (Dark Angel)
109. Ted Allen (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy)/The White Witch (Narnia)
All I have to say is this: the Fab Five give the Witch a makeover. COME ON, ADMIT IT, YOU WANT TO SEE IT.
111. Anita Blake (Anita Blake books)/Hyde (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
She always does attract the monsters.
112. Tasslehoff Burrfoot (Dragonlance)/Sparhawk (Eddings' Elenium/Tamuli)
116. Ripper (BtVS)/Zoe (Firefly)
118. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Toby (Labyrinth)
127. Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/Vampire!Harmony (Angel/BtVS)
He would make snarky comments, and she would fail to get it, and it would be beautiful.
135. Delenn (Babylon 5)/Nightcrawler (X-Men movieverse)/Grima Wormtongue (LOTR)
...*tinkly brain-broken sound*
140. Christian (Moulin Rouge)/Lyta Alexander (Babylon 5)/Asmodean (The Wheel of Time)
143. Liz (Hellboy)/Mrs. Coulter and her monkey daemon (His Dark Materials)
No, no, this makes a really weird sort of sense, you know?
144. Wowbagger (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)/Maggie Simpson (The Simpsons)
Wowbagger would be insulting, and Maggie would suck on her pacifier, and it nearly writes itself.
145. Radek Zelenka (Stargate Atlantis)/Serendipity (Dogma)/Aphrael (Eddings' Elenium/Tamuli)
I have never felt more sorry for Zelenka than I do at this moment, because Serendipity and Aphrael in the same room? They'd love each other and they would be a force of terror and adoration upon the world. All shall love them and... feel pretty good about that, actually.
146. Nick Knight (Forever Knight)/Sybil Trelawney (HP)
Could he bite her? Just a little?
151. Edward Wong Hau Pepulu Tivrusky the 4th (Cowboy Bebop)/Cyril Fielding (A Passage to India)/Prince Humperdinck (Princess Bride)
I don't even know who the middle person is, but if ever someone deserved to have Ed inflicted on them, it's Humperdinck.
154. May Parker (Ultimate Spider-Man)/Dr. Sam Beckett (Quantum Leap)
....aww. Though it gives me a horrible urge to, y'know, do the obligatory QL fix-it thing on any one of the scads of terrible deaths May has endured.
155. Archie Goodwin (Nero Wolfe)/Juri Arisugawa (Shoujo Kakumei Utena)/Rick O'Connell (The Mummy)
Once again, clueless about the middle person, but I think Archie and Rick O'Connell interacting would be priceless.
158. Garak (Deep Space Nine)/Willow (BtVS)
159. Liam Kincaid (Earth: Final Conflict)/Wolverine (X-Men)
....
165. Bigby Wolf (Fables)/Jubilee (X-Men)/Jack Sparrow (PotC)
*waits to see who is going to write this, because someone will*
171. Dick Grayson (Batman)/Endora (Bewitched)
173. Ray Kowalski (Due South)/Condoleeza Rice
176. Karl "Helo" Agathon (Battlestar Galactica 2004)/George Hammond (Stargate SG-1)
183. Babs Bunny (Tiny Toons)/Riddick (Pitch Black)
As I was a Babs Bunny fan in my youth, THIS TERRIFIES ME.
185. Gaius Baltar (Battlestar Galactica 2004)/Agent K (Men in Black)/Barbara Gordon (Birds of Prey)
I can picture this, and the picture in my head is extremely trippy. Baltar doing his loony thing, and Barbara going, "He's insane. Or maybe an alien," and K deadpanning, "Or both. Would you please look at the light?"
186. Boromir (LOTR)/George W. Bush Jr.
They could bond over the difficulties of famous and strong fathers and the temptations of power.
192. Remus Lupin (HP)/Faith (BtVS)
Aww, and Faith gets a well-meaning monster of her very own.
196. Max Eilerson (Crusade)/Leon (The Professional)
Well fuck me. Who do I have to pay to see that written?
197. Baltar (Battlestar Galactica 2004)/Willow (BtVS)
I've just realized the benefit of how nutty Baltar is... he works in just about anything.
199. Lee "Apollo" Adama (Battlestar Galactica 2005)/Jayne Cobb (Firefly)
200. Dennis (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)/Abby Sciuto (NCIS)/Galen (Crusade)
...Abby and Galen. I... oh my.
207. Brother Justin (Carnivale)/Jarod (The Pretender)
213. The Corinthian (Sandman)/The Raven (Poe)
The characters alone read like a Sandman backstory. Just who did inspire Edgar Allen? I'd be willing to bet it was one of Dream's freakier creations. I mean this one just works.
217. Hob Gadling (Sandman)/Ed'Rashtekaresket t'k Gh'shesttaesteh (Deep Wizardry)
Hob... and the king of the sharks. I'm starting to wonder if some of the same magic lingering around Baltar for his insanity also applies to Sandman characters, because again this doesn't sound that unworkable. Ed would offer to eat him, and Hob would explain that he's not ready to be eaten yet, and they'd part amicably.
221. Ed (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Blair Sandburg (The Sentinel)
222. Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG-1)/Luna Lovegood (HP)
I... please? Someone?
224. Yves Harlow (The Lone Gunmen)/Angelus (Angel/Buffy)
231. Dr. Watson (Sherlock Holmes)/The Eighth Doctor - Paul McGann (Doctor Who)
I repeat my, "Please, someone?"
232. Death (Sandman)/Teal'c (Stargate SG-1)
Death's cheerful perkiness and Teal'c unruffled calm. And probably some cracks about how often she's seen Daniel. That could be fuuuuun.
233. Tom Delay (US House of Representatives)/Ed (Cowboy Bebop)
Ed seems to work best in situations where she's being inflicted on someone.
236. Indiana Jones/The "Can you hear me now?" guy
243. Ray Kowalski (Due South)/Harry Potter (HP)
244. Captain Jack Sparrow (PotC)/J (Men in Black)
All I can say is there's a plotbunny about Jack Sparrow being an alien gnawing at my toes. Here, someone take it.
245. Dr. Radek Zelenka (Stargate Atlantic)/The Emperor-Beyond-The-Sea (Narnia)/John Preston (Equilibrium)
What is it with Zelenka landing with deities?
249. Elmo (Sesame Street)/John Edwards (American politics)
250. KITT the car (Knight Rider)/Metatron (Angel Sanctuary)/The Golden PSP (South Park)
261. Susan Ivanova (Babylon 5)/Al Swearengen (Deadwood)
This made me picture Swearengen on Babylon 5, and then my head exploded. Oh my god, he would own down below.
262. Mooby the Golden Calf (Dogma)/Thumper (Bambi)
*snorts*
266. Charles Xavier (X-Men Movieverse)/Desire (Sandman)
I really think you could do something there.
267. Alison Cameron (House)/Boris Johnston (British politics)
*opens and closes her mouth several times*
269. Mr. Burns (The Simpsons)/Rosalyn Stone (Brimstone)
I am so unbelievably grateful that it doesn't have to be romantic interaction for this round, because that's all that kept me from sporking my eyes here.
270. Vin Tanner (Magnificent Seven)/Ivan Vorpatil (Barrayar novels)/Count of Monte Cristo (The Count of Monte Cristo)
Why do Ivan and the Count of Mone Cristo work for me?
273. Oscar Wilde/The Devil (Brimstone)
So... this happened, right? I mean, historically, canonically, whatever, we all know it did.
277. Jubilee (X-Men)/Jim Chee (Navaho Police mysteries)
...I like this one.
281. George Lass (Dead Like Me)/Marty McFly (Back to the Future)
I sense potential for much snarkage here.
292. Da'an (Earth: Final Conflict)/Captain Jack Sparrow (PotC)
What. The. Fuck.
297. The Thessalian (Sandman)/Drusilla (BtVS)
This is another one that I feel like... it happened, right? Thessaly has probably met just about everybody once, and Dru would probably find her interesting and then get sulky when Thessaly declined to be eaten. With force, which she is fully qualified to provide.
306. Ducky Mallard (NCIS)/Galahad (King Arthur, mythology)
313. Crow T Robot (MST3K)/Kate (From Dusk Till Dawn)
316. Sam Carter (Stargate SG-1)/Dot (Animaniacs)
320. Dazzler (Ultimate X-Men)/Marty McFly (Back to the Future)/Sheemie Ruiz (Dark Tower cycle)
This reads like a very bad acid trip.
326. Sam Vimes (Discworld)/Andrew (BtVS)
332. Rodney McKay (SG: Atlantis)/Boomer (Battlestar Galactica 2004)
I like this one a lot for some reason, too.
333. Any Queen of England/John Sheridan (Babylon 5)
*sporfle*
336. Gunn (Angel)/Joe Dawson (Highlander)
Dude, someone had better be writing this one right now.
337. Destiny (Sandman)/Jayne Cobb (Firefly)
347. Trip Tucker (Enterprise)/Sarah Connor (Terminator)
348. Superman/Lancelot (King Arthur movie)
352. Geoffrey Chaucer (A Knight's Tale)/Spike (BtVS/Angel)
354. Lando Calrissian (Star Wars)/Bellatrix Lestrange (HP)
359. Magneto (X-Men movieverse)/Beverly Crusher (Star Trek)
361. Sam Vimes (Discworld)/Delirium (Sandman)
Sam would think she was crazy. That's fair, she is. But Vimes probably wouldn't judge her for the crazy, so it would work.
362. Pumbaa (The Lion King)/The Oompah Loompas (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
I... it.... Okay, then.
363. Faith (BtVS)/Lex (Smallville)
"He should probably work on his obsession with dark-haired, super-strong, moody enigmas. Sometime. Eventually. In the meantime, he would not try to figure out how to get her and Clark into a fight, however enjoyable it might be to see the two of them rolling around together, destroying anything that got in their way, possibly ripping off each other's clothing.... Okay, he needed to stop that train of thought. Now."
379. Marvin (Hitchhiker's Guide)/Peter Grodin (Stargate Atlantis)
*snork!*
385. The Edge (U2 guitarist)/Ra (Stargate, movie)/Francesca Vecchio (Due South)
Okay, then.
389. Rygel (Farscape)/Princess Leia (Star Wars)
The nice thing is, to a certain degree it works if you go for the, 'Leia has to negotiate with this annoying muppet head of state...' angle.
393. Jareth (Labyrinth)/Jonathan Kent (Smallville)
396. Theoden (LotR)/Zatanna Zatarra (Justice League)
409. Darth Vader (Star Wars)/Herr Flick ('Allo 'Allo)
If you've ever seen 'Allo 'Allo, this is hysterical. If you haven't, you're clueless. Though it makes me wonder so much what Vader is wearing under all that black.
411. Kate Todd (NCIS)/Fred Burkle (Angel)
417. Dr. Evil (Austin Powers)/Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)
Remember that one Simpsons storyline where Homer worked for the evil genius and was oddly happy? I keep thinking something like that, somehow.
418. Xanatos (Gargoyles)/Neville Longbottom (HP)
425. Tim Marco (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Tigger (Winnie the Pooh)/Lord Havelock Vetinari (Discworld)
I like this just because.... Well, I keep imagining Vetinari and Tigger in the same room for more than five minutes. And it ends with death. Not, obviously, Vetinari's.
427. Daemon Sadi (Black Jewels trilogy)/Bilbo Baggins (LotR)
*tinkly brain-breakage sound again*
431. Londo Mollari (Babylon 5)/Setsuna Meioh (Sailor Moon)
433. Pre-Nimbo Psylocke (X-Men comics)/Eric Foreman (House)
Would that I knew a damn thing about Psylocke.
436. Aziraphale (Good Omens)/Jareth (Labyrinth)
438. Juan Valdez (Columbian Coffee Growers ads)/Roland Deschain (Dark Tower series)
*dies*
442. Pegasus (Sailor Moon)/Pizzazz (Jem)
OMGtheirloveissoanimated.
446. Walter Skinner (X-Files)/The Marquis de Carabas (Neverwhere)
I want to see this X-files episode.
455. Rodney McKay (Stargate Atlantis)/Baron Munchausen (The Adventures of Baron Munchausen)/Phedre no Delaunay (Kushiel trilogy)
I... I mean... Okay, Munchausen and Phedre almost works, but then you toss in McKay and it just goes wonky. Though possibly very fun for McKay.
456. Methos (Highlander)/The Marquis de Carabas (Neverwhere)
This is another one I'm just waiting for someone to do. It seems fairly obvious it's possible.
458. Snape (HP)/Peter Wiggin (Ender's Game)
461. Vir Cotto (Babylon 5)/Dawn Summers (BtVS)
.....
465. Lisa Cuddy (House)/Benton Fraser (Due South)/Tiffany Aching (Discworld)
Cuddy would... and then with... and it... I mean.... It....
466. Amanda (HL)/Paul Davis (Stargate SG-1)
471. Laura Roslin (Battlestar Galactica 2004)/Donald Trump (The Apprentice)
No, I don't know why this works in my head, it just does.
480. Don Eppes (Numb3rs)/Psylocke (X-Men)/Rodney McKay (Stargate Atlantis)
There are people on my friendslist I want to draw the attention of, here.
482. Jamie Hyneman (Mythbusters)/Arvin Sloane (Alias)
I almost spittook when I noticed this one.
483. Bill Gates/Michelle Dessler (24)
486. The Master (Doctor Who)/Delirium (Sandman)
This is canon, right?
490. Ryan Seacrest (Americon Idol)/Susan Sto Helit (Discworld)/Fizzy (My Little Pony)
.....
498. Silent Bob (View Askewniverse)/Johnny Depp
501. Hob Gadling (Sandman)/Toru Watanabe (Excel Saga)
502. Dream (Sandman)/Harmony Kendall (Angel)
503. Peter Parker (Ultimate Spider-Man)/Watson (Sherlock Holmes)
504. Matilda (Matilda)/Petulia (A Hat Full of Sky)
507. Lorne (Angel)/Petrefax (Sandman)
See? The Sandman ones work waaaay too often.
508. James Potter (HP)/Kitty Pryde (X-Men)
531. The Ninth Doctor (Doctor Who)/Velma (Scooby-Doo)
533. Dana Scully (X-Files)/Ashur (Brimstone)
God, I love the femslash potential Ash always seems to have.
538. Lilah Morgan (Angel)/Starfire (Teen Titans)
And speaking of femslash.
547. Lieutenant Hubert Gruber ('Allo 'Allo)/Galahad (King Arthur)
*dies*
552. Deedlit (Record of Lodoss War)/Lancelot (King Arthur, movie)
565. Toad (X-Men)/Jaws/Melvin Frohike (X-Files)
As one of the Lone Gunmen, I totally believe this could happen to Frohike, and that he might not even consider it that insane. He might just consider it, say, Tuesday.
571. Tim Drake (Teen Titans)/Jack (Samurai Jack)
599. R2D2 (Star Wars)/Satan (South Park)
Aaaaand in conclusion, *tinkly sound of yet more brain-breaking*
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I've decided to experiment with closing off my entries with, instead of a quote-tag or something, a yousendit mp3 link, which seems feasible as long as I'm not making a ton of entries and scads of people aren't reading them. In honor of ladysorka, who encouraged me in this dubious undertaking, the first song is one of the ones by this group that I do have on my computer.
The Cruxshadows - Dragonfly
Yell if it goes over allotment and I'll upload again.
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5. Faramir (LotR)/Clarice Starling (The Silence of the Lambs)/Elizabeth Weir (Stargate Atlantis)
This is mostly because the idea of Starling and Weir interacting raises my eyebrows. I don't know what Faramir would be doing there, except possibly standing around looking pretty. Though he does do that well.
10. Remus Lupin (HP)/Ed Wood (Ed Wood)/Kel (Protector of the Small quartet)
20. Bridget Jones (Bridget Jones's Diary)/Penelope Clearwater (HP)/Archie Goodwin (Nero Wolfe)
27. Jon Stewart (The Daily Show)/Asher (Anita Blake books)
34. Matthew the Raven (Sandman)/Andromeda Black-Tonks (HP)
Matthew and Tonks would get along alarmingly well. I want Tonks and Matthew to work together and teach DADA. Yes.
35. Nancy Drew/Magneto (X-men movieverse)/Destruction (Sandman)
38. Peter Pettigrew (HP)/Alice (Alice in Wonderland)
39. Lady Sybil Ramkin (Discworld)/Christine Daae (Phantom of the Opera)
42. Tristan (King Arthur movie)/Mary Jane Parker (Spider-Man)
51. Nightcrawler (X-Men)/Ezekiel Stone (Brimstone)
There are about a billion reasons why this one is nifty, but all I can think is... is it movieverse Nightcrawler? Can he and Zeke compare tattoos? Could movieverse Nightcrawler read Zeke's tattoos? I'm not a big enough X-men fan for this to be a danger, but if I was I would be so screwed.
52. Kolchak (Kolchak the Night Stalker)/Delenn (Babylon 5)
58. Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG1)/The Cowardly Lion (Wizard of Oz)
61. Dr. Robert Chase (House)/Will Truman (Will and Grace)
65. Miles Vorkosigan (the Vorkosigan books)/Mary Jane (Spider-Man)/Wesley Wyndham-Pryce (Angel)
Another one of those threesome things where the thought of either of the two sets within it interacting is great--MJ would so push Miles's tall redhead button--but all three of them together is sort of, "Uh...."
66. The Gray Lady (HP)/Donald Trump (The Apprentice)
68. Original Cindy (Dark Angel)/Westley (Princess Bride)
75. Lust (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Dr. Gregory House (House)/C3PO (Star Wars)
.... But why is C3PO there?
96. Samson (Carnivale)/Mr. Darcy (Pride and Prejudice)
102. Zarathustra (Thus Spoke Zarathustra)/Admiral Akbar (Star Wars)
108. Pete Ross (Smallville)/Zack (Dark Angel)
109. Ted Allen (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy)/The White Witch (Narnia)
All I have to say is this: the Fab Five give the Witch a makeover. COME ON, ADMIT IT, YOU WANT TO SEE IT.
111. Anita Blake (Anita Blake books)/Hyde (League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)
She always does attract the monsters.
112. Tasslehoff Burrfoot (Dragonlance)/Sparhawk (Eddings' Elenium/Tamuli)
116. Ripper (BtVS)/Zoe (Firefly)
118. Edward Elric (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Toby (Labyrinth)
127. Peter Parker (Spider-Man)/Vampire!Harmony (Angel/BtVS)
He would make snarky comments, and she would fail to get it, and it would be beautiful.
135. Delenn (Babylon 5)/Nightcrawler (X-Men movieverse)/Grima Wormtongue (LOTR)
...*tinkly brain-broken sound*
140. Christian (Moulin Rouge)/Lyta Alexander (Babylon 5)/Asmodean (The Wheel of Time)
143. Liz (Hellboy)/Mrs. Coulter and her monkey daemon (His Dark Materials)
No, no, this makes a really weird sort of sense, you know?
144. Wowbagger (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy)/Maggie Simpson (The Simpsons)
Wowbagger would be insulting, and Maggie would suck on her pacifier, and it nearly writes itself.
145. Radek Zelenka (Stargate Atlantis)/Serendipity (Dogma)/Aphrael (Eddings' Elenium/Tamuli)
I have never felt more sorry for Zelenka than I do at this moment, because Serendipity and Aphrael in the same room? They'd love each other and they would be a force of terror and adoration upon the world. All shall love them and... feel pretty good about that, actually.
146. Nick Knight (Forever Knight)/Sybil Trelawney (HP)
Could he bite her? Just a little?
151. Edward Wong Hau Pepulu Tivrusky the 4th (Cowboy Bebop)/Cyril Fielding (A Passage to India)/Prince Humperdinck (Princess Bride)
I don't even know who the middle person is, but if ever someone deserved to have Ed inflicted on them, it's Humperdinck.
154. May Parker (Ultimate Spider-Man)/Dr. Sam Beckett (Quantum Leap)
....aww. Though it gives me a horrible urge to, y'know, do the obligatory QL fix-it thing on any one of the scads of terrible deaths May has endured.
155. Archie Goodwin (Nero Wolfe)/Juri Arisugawa (Shoujo Kakumei Utena)/Rick O'Connell (The Mummy)
Once again, clueless about the middle person, but I think Archie and Rick O'Connell interacting would be priceless.
158. Garak (Deep Space Nine)/Willow (BtVS)
159. Liam Kincaid (Earth: Final Conflict)/Wolverine (X-Men)
....
165. Bigby Wolf (Fables)/Jubilee (X-Men)/Jack Sparrow (PotC)
*waits to see who is going to write this, because someone will*
171. Dick Grayson (Batman)/Endora (Bewitched)
173. Ray Kowalski (Due South)/Condoleeza Rice
176. Karl "Helo" Agathon (Battlestar Galactica 2004)/George Hammond (Stargate SG-1)
183. Babs Bunny (Tiny Toons)/Riddick (Pitch Black)
As I was a Babs Bunny fan in my youth, THIS TERRIFIES ME.
185. Gaius Baltar (Battlestar Galactica 2004)/Agent K (Men in Black)/Barbara Gordon (Birds of Prey)
I can picture this, and the picture in my head is extremely trippy. Baltar doing his loony thing, and Barbara going, "He's insane. Or maybe an alien," and K deadpanning, "Or both. Would you please look at the light?"
186. Boromir (LOTR)/George W. Bush Jr.
They could bond over the difficulties of famous and strong fathers and the temptations of power.
192. Remus Lupin (HP)/Faith (BtVS)
Aww, and Faith gets a well-meaning monster of her very own.
196. Max Eilerson (Crusade)/Leon (The Professional)
Well fuck me. Who do I have to pay to see that written?
197. Baltar (Battlestar Galactica 2004)/Willow (BtVS)
I've just realized the benefit of how nutty Baltar is... he works in just about anything.
199. Lee "Apollo" Adama (Battlestar Galactica 2005)/Jayne Cobb (Firefly)
200. Dennis (Monty Python and the Holy Grail)/Abby Sciuto (NCIS)/Galen (Crusade)
...Abby and Galen. I... oh my.
207. Brother Justin (Carnivale)/Jarod (The Pretender)
213. The Corinthian (Sandman)/The Raven (Poe)
The characters alone read like a Sandman backstory. Just who did inspire Edgar Allen? I'd be willing to bet it was one of Dream's freakier creations. I mean this one just works.
217. Hob Gadling (Sandman)/Ed'Rashtekaresket t'k Gh'shesttaesteh (Deep Wizardry)
Hob... and the king of the sharks. I'm starting to wonder if some of the same magic lingering around Baltar for his insanity also applies to Sandman characters, because again this doesn't sound that unworkable. Ed would offer to eat him, and Hob would explain that he's not ready to be eaten yet, and they'd part amicably.
221. Ed (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Blair Sandburg (The Sentinel)
222. Daniel Jackson (Stargate SG-1)/Luna Lovegood (HP)
I... please? Someone?
224. Yves Harlow (The Lone Gunmen)/Angelus (Angel/Buffy)
231. Dr. Watson (Sherlock Holmes)/The Eighth Doctor - Paul McGann (Doctor Who)
I repeat my, "Please, someone?"
232. Death (Sandman)/Teal'c (Stargate SG-1)
Death's cheerful perkiness and Teal'c unruffled calm. And probably some cracks about how often she's seen Daniel. That could be fuuuuun.
233. Tom Delay (US House of Representatives)/Ed (Cowboy Bebop)
Ed seems to work best in situations where she's being inflicted on someone.
236. Indiana Jones/The "Can you hear me now?" guy
243. Ray Kowalski (Due South)/Harry Potter (HP)
244. Captain Jack Sparrow (PotC)/J (Men in Black)
All I can say is there's a plotbunny about Jack Sparrow being an alien gnawing at my toes. Here, someone take it.
245. Dr. Radek Zelenka (Stargate Atlantic)/The Emperor-Beyond-The-Sea (Narnia)/John Preston (Equilibrium)
What is it with Zelenka landing with deities?
249. Elmo (Sesame Street)/John Edwards (American politics)
250. KITT the car (Knight Rider)/Metatron (Angel Sanctuary)/The Golden PSP (South Park)
261. Susan Ivanova (Babylon 5)/Al Swearengen (Deadwood)
This made me picture Swearengen on Babylon 5, and then my head exploded. Oh my god, he would own down below.
262. Mooby the Golden Calf (Dogma)/Thumper (Bambi)
*snorts*
266. Charles Xavier (X-Men Movieverse)/Desire (Sandman)
I really think you could do something there.
267. Alison Cameron (House)/Boris Johnston (British politics)
*opens and closes her mouth several times*
269. Mr. Burns (The Simpsons)/Rosalyn Stone (Brimstone)
I am so unbelievably grateful that it doesn't have to be romantic interaction for this round, because that's all that kept me from sporking my eyes here.
270. Vin Tanner (Magnificent Seven)/Ivan Vorpatil (Barrayar novels)/Count of Monte Cristo (The Count of Monte Cristo)
Why do Ivan and the Count of Mone Cristo work for me?
273. Oscar Wilde/The Devil (Brimstone)
So... this happened, right? I mean, historically, canonically, whatever, we all know it did.
277. Jubilee (X-Men)/Jim Chee (Navaho Police mysteries)
...I like this one.
281. George Lass (Dead Like Me)/Marty McFly (Back to the Future)
I sense potential for much snarkage here.
292. Da'an (Earth: Final Conflict)/Captain Jack Sparrow (PotC)
What. The. Fuck.
297. The Thessalian (Sandman)/Drusilla (BtVS)
This is another one that I feel like... it happened, right? Thessaly has probably met just about everybody once, and Dru would probably find her interesting and then get sulky when Thessaly declined to be eaten. With force, which she is fully qualified to provide.
306. Ducky Mallard (NCIS)/Galahad (King Arthur, mythology)
313. Crow T Robot (MST3K)/Kate (From Dusk Till Dawn)
316. Sam Carter (Stargate SG-1)/Dot (Animaniacs)
320. Dazzler (Ultimate X-Men)/Marty McFly (Back to the Future)/Sheemie Ruiz (Dark Tower cycle)
This reads like a very bad acid trip.
326. Sam Vimes (Discworld)/Andrew (BtVS)
332. Rodney McKay (SG: Atlantis)/Boomer (Battlestar Galactica 2004)
I like this one a lot for some reason, too.
333. Any Queen of England/John Sheridan (Babylon 5)
*sporfle*
336. Gunn (Angel)/Joe Dawson (Highlander)
Dude, someone had better be writing this one right now.
337. Destiny (Sandman)/Jayne Cobb (Firefly)
347. Trip Tucker (Enterprise)/Sarah Connor (Terminator)
348. Superman/Lancelot (King Arthur movie)
352. Geoffrey Chaucer (A Knight's Tale)/Spike (BtVS/Angel)
354. Lando Calrissian (Star Wars)/Bellatrix Lestrange (HP)
359. Magneto (X-Men movieverse)/Beverly Crusher (Star Trek)
361. Sam Vimes (Discworld)/Delirium (Sandman)
Sam would think she was crazy. That's fair, she is. But Vimes probably wouldn't judge her for the crazy, so it would work.
362. Pumbaa (The Lion King)/The Oompah Loompas (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory)
I... it.... Okay, then.
363. Faith (BtVS)/Lex (Smallville)
"He should probably work on his obsession with dark-haired, super-strong, moody enigmas. Sometime. Eventually. In the meantime, he would not try to figure out how to get her and Clark into a fight, however enjoyable it might be to see the two of them rolling around together, destroying anything that got in their way, possibly ripping off each other's clothing.... Okay, he needed to stop that train of thought. Now."
379. Marvin (Hitchhiker's Guide)/Peter Grodin (Stargate Atlantis)
*snork!*
385. The Edge (U2 guitarist)/Ra (Stargate, movie)/Francesca Vecchio (Due South)
Okay, then.
389. Rygel (Farscape)/Princess Leia (Star Wars)
The nice thing is, to a certain degree it works if you go for the, 'Leia has to negotiate with this annoying muppet head of state...' angle.
393. Jareth (Labyrinth)/Jonathan Kent (Smallville)
396. Theoden (LotR)/Zatanna Zatarra (Justice League)
409. Darth Vader (Star Wars)/Herr Flick ('Allo 'Allo)
If you've ever seen 'Allo 'Allo, this is hysterical. If you haven't, you're clueless. Though it makes me wonder so much what Vader is wearing under all that black.
411. Kate Todd (NCIS)/Fred Burkle (Angel)
417. Dr. Evil (Austin Powers)/Lisa Simpson (The Simpsons)
Remember that one Simpsons storyline where Homer worked for the evil genius and was oddly happy? I keep thinking something like that, somehow.
418. Xanatos (Gargoyles)/Neville Longbottom (HP)
425. Tim Marco (Fullmetal Alchemist)/Tigger (Winnie the Pooh)/Lord Havelock Vetinari (Discworld)
I like this just because.... Well, I keep imagining Vetinari and Tigger in the same room for more than five minutes. And it ends with death. Not, obviously, Vetinari's.
427. Daemon Sadi (Black Jewels trilogy)/Bilbo Baggins (LotR)
*tinkly brain-breakage sound again*
431. Londo Mollari (Babylon 5)/Setsuna Meioh (Sailor Moon)
433. Pre-Nimbo Psylocke (X-Men comics)/Eric Foreman (House)
Would that I knew a damn thing about Psylocke.
436. Aziraphale (Good Omens)/Jareth (Labyrinth)
438. Juan Valdez (Columbian Coffee Growers ads)/Roland Deschain (Dark Tower series)
*dies*
442. Pegasus (Sailor Moon)/Pizzazz (Jem)
OMGtheirloveissoanimated.
446. Walter Skinner (X-Files)/The Marquis de Carabas (Neverwhere)
I want to see this X-files episode.
455. Rodney McKay (Stargate Atlantis)/Baron Munchausen (The Adventures of Baron Munchausen)/Phedre no Delaunay (Kushiel trilogy)
I... I mean... Okay, Munchausen and Phedre almost works, but then you toss in McKay and it just goes wonky. Though possibly very fun for McKay.
456. Methos (Highlander)/The Marquis de Carabas (Neverwhere)
This is another one I'm just waiting for someone to do. It seems fairly obvious it's possible.
458. Snape (HP)/Peter Wiggin (Ender's Game)
461. Vir Cotto (Babylon 5)/Dawn Summers (BtVS)
.....
465. Lisa Cuddy (House)/Benton Fraser (Due South)/Tiffany Aching (Discworld)
Cuddy would... and then with... and it... I mean.... It....
466. Amanda (HL)/Paul Davis (Stargate SG-1)
471. Laura Roslin (Battlestar Galactica 2004)/Donald Trump (The Apprentice)
No, I don't know why this works in my head, it just does.
480. Don Eppes (Numb3rs)/Psylocke (X-Men)/Rodney McKay (Stargate Atlantis)
There are people on my friendslist I want to draw the attention of, here.
482. Jamie Hyneman (Mythbusters)/Arvin Sloane (Alias)
I almost spittook when I noticed this one.
483. Bill Gates/Michelle Dessler (24)
486. The Master (Doctor Who)/Delirium (Sandman)
This is canon, right?
490. Ryan Seacrest (Americon Idol)/Susan Sto Helit (Discworld)/Fizzy (My Little Pony)
.....
498. Silent Bob (View Askewniverse)/Johnny Depp
501. Hob Gadling (Sandman)/Toru Watanabe (Excel Saga)
502. Dream (Sandman)/Harmony Kendall (Angel)
503. Peter Parker (Ultimate Spider-Man)/Watson (Sherlock Holmes)
504. Matilda (Matilda)/Petulia (A Hat Full of Sky)
507. Lorne (Angel)/Petrefax (Sandman)
See? The Sandman ones work waaaay too often.
508. James Potter (HP)/Kitty Pryde (X-Men)
531. The Ninth Doctor (Doctor Who)/Velma (Scooby-Doo)
533. Dana Scully (X-Files)/Ashur (Brimstone)
God, I love the femslash potential Ash always seems to have.
538. Lilah Morgan (Angel)/Starfire (Teen Titans)
And speaking of femslash.
547. Lieutenant Hubert Gruber ('Allo 'Allo)/Galahad (King Arthur)
*dies*
552. Deedlit (Record of Lodoss War)/Lancelot (King Arthur, movie)
565. Toad (X-Men)/Jaws/Melvin Frohike (X-Files)
As one of the Lone Gunmen, I totally believe this could happen to Frohike, and that he might not even consider it that insane. He might just consider it, say, Tuesday.
571. Tim Drake (Teen Titans)/Jack (Samurai Jack)
599. R2D2 (Star Wars)/Satan (South Park)
Aaaaand in conclusion, *tinkly sound of yet more brain-breaking*
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I've decided to experiment with closing off my entries with, instead of a quote-tag or something, a yousendit mp3 link, which seems feasible as long as I'm not making a ton of entries and scads of people aren't reading them. In honor of ladysorka, who encouraged me in this dubious undertaking, the first song is one of the ones by this group that I do have on my computer.
The Cruxshadows - Dragonfly
Yell if it goes over allotment and I'll upload again.
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