love, brewed [minseok/luhan]
title: love, brewed
pairing: minseok/luhan
length: 9.5k wc
ranting/genre/warnings: pg-13 - romance, minor tragedy
summary: coffee shop au; minseok falls for the barista whose delicate hands brew more than just coffee.
notes: originally written here for soccerncoffee
“Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I'll be happy for the rest of my fucked up little life.”
― Charlotte Eriksson, Empty Roads & Broken Bottles; in search for The Great Perhaps
_____
Ingredient #1: Aged Coffee Beans
_____
Warm morning light poured into a cafe somewhere in the nook of Seoul’s outskirts, crawling up the light, golden skin of a sleeping form and outlining the shadows on its pale face. The cafe was still closed but there were already a few regulars waiting just outside the glass double doors, ready for their morning pick-me-up.
Joonmyun, the cafe’s owner who just parked and rushed to the cafe’s entrance, bowed at their clientele and offered his apologies with a bright smile. Once in, he woke up the slumbering form with a gentle tug of his shoulder, body slowly rousing in response.
“You slept inside the lounge again, Lu Han. This is not what I meant by being here earlier for your opening shift!” came the hissed whisper of the owner, small frame carrying the usual round of fresh breads and pastries he picked up at their partner bakery.
Lu Han, now half awake, replied with a wide yawn and stretch, swollen eyelids squinting open and hand impulsively running through his bed hair as he stood up from his makeshift sleeping area. He had slipped into the cafe in the cold, dark hours of the morning from whatever night adventure he had, gathering blankets Joonmyun left as decorations over the lounge area’s sofas and nesting within the glass-windowed alcove.
“I would say I did it because I love sleeping to the scent of our coffee bean roast but we both know that’s more than half true.” Lu Han answered, voice thick and husky.
“I’d believe it!” The shorter, more awake of the two was already making his way to the backroom to retrieve some utensils. “You live and breathe coffee,” he added right before disappearing.
“Joonmyun, if I lived and breathed coffee, I wouldn’t actually be breathing. I’d be a human beansack.” Lu Han grinned up sleepily at no one in particular at his own joke.
“I heard that. You’re not funny, Lu,” the younger of the two said while shaking his head as he started setting out the pastries on the windowed display. Joonmyun was only younger by a year, but he still acted is if he was the one who had all the responsibilities. “And I seriously hope you didn’t come straight from the Ella’s Bar.”
“I took a shower before coming so don’t freak out.”
“You damn well better have.” Joonmyun called back from where he was crouched. “So. What is it this time?” Joonmyun thought a loud. “Another month without paying rent?” the cafe owner guessed with a cocked eyebrow, now standing before him with a hand on his hip in a much too maternal way. “I already told you you could just sleep over at my place.”
“If I wanted that, I would have moved in with you long ago, you know that. Besides, you’re a clingy cuddle monster when you sleep, no thanks.”
Joonmyun had an immense pout that always betrayed his age. Looking at it always made Lu Han’s stomach churn a bit with conflict - how could someone so mature manage to turn into a child in a matter of seconds? Still, Lu Han had to look away to deflect the effect of that lip jutting out. Sleeping at his best friend’s house wasn’t new to him but, ever since a few a years ago, it was never the same. It didn’t seem right anymore, but he couldn’t tell Joonmyun so he played along, always being vague and playful.
“You make enough here, Lu. You’d be just fine with tips alone, it’s beyond me how you are left penniless so often,” the pout was gone now when Joonmyun inquired, genuine concern taking its place.
Lu Han only offered a smile at the term of endearment and a shrug at the underlying question. This was a topic he never wanted to delve into and usually dropped before it could start, so he dismissed it, walking towards the entrance instead to prepare their cafe for opening. An unresolved quiet settled among the two as he walked around the tables with a rag in hand, wiping the tables swiftly. They both knew when to respect each other’s desire for silence, never wanting to cause conflict. They were friends, after all, even if they coworkers.
Lu Han fit the role of senior barista perfectly, being the more sociable one, always on the move, with a talent for handling things smoothly under pressure so he worked the bar harmoniously alongside another employee they recently hired. Meanwhile, Joonmyun was the backbone and mastermind of the two, managing the numbers and generally keeping the place functioning and standing. It was just the three of them, but it worked.
He and Joonmyun were the best of friends since Lu Han had first transferred as an international student during their first year of middle school, his family moving to Korea for business purposes. During a home economics activity, they discovered their mutual interest in the culinary arts and from there, their friendship grew. There were years in between their school life where Joonmyun studied abroad - having been from a family of diplomats - but the two eventually found their way back to each other after college. It was then after that they stuck to each other, planning their lives together and rekindling their love for the delicacies the world offered. They travelled the world to learn about them, their interest soon focusing in the art of coffee beans. Joonmyun and Lu Han brought their learnings back home to Seoul where they teamed up to fulfill their dream of starting a business together, opening up a cafe of their own despite protests from their families.
Protests, then tragedies that shook them but never stopped them. Together, the built this cafe, their home. They both tucked the pain in the depths of their hearts, burying themselves in their craft and living their lives as normal as possible, as if nothing happened at all.
Once done setting down the chairs to their tables, Lu Han moved to unlock the doors and greeted each customer with a smile and a bow. Orders were taken as soon as he made his way behind the counter, hands expertly moving along metal, glass, and ceramic to prepare the drinks he loved and knew so well. Handing his customers their drinks was the greatest satisfaction, especially in the morning. Lu Han always liked glancing at the diverse faces of those pouring in, some still half asleep, others half hearted on being completely awake at all, and others going about their way without much to offer besides a distant focused look.
The cafe, along with its beloved and loyal clientele, was his comfort,their comfort, and he’d keep it that way as long as his hands could brew.
____
Ingredient #2: Pure, Fresh Filtered Water
_____
It was still dark out, dusk probably brimming just below the horizon somewhere.
Kim Minseok, private accountant for Kim Group Holdings, always woke up at 4:00 am on the dot to get dressed for work. Crunching numbers wasn’t his choice of grind, but he was good at it and his father wouldn’t settle for having a soccer player in their family’s line of successful business men. Minseok couldn’t complain, he enjoyed the quiet work and it paid well enough. He had a pretty routine life, clean cut with no traumas or troubles. Peaceful. Orderly. He walked in to the office for his full eight, then walked right out, bowing here, shaking hands there whenever needed. Even the coffee shop he visited was ordinary enough: a Tom n Tom’s on his way home. Convenient, one would say, except not when he found himself face to face with a blocked off cafe one morning, closed for remodelling. A singular deflated sigh escaped him.
How inconvenient.
After work, it was always a ritual to order a refreshing cup of coffee, especially on those days he had the stress of deadlines that only a hot, milky cup of his favorite brew could heal. That was comprised, though, now that his regular spot was inaccessibly. He could easily whip something up at home but...Minseok turned to face the length of the street, craning his neck to see if there was another chain of the franchise somewhere (they were literally everywhere on the same strip as his company’s building), but none were to be found. He walked on, disappointed. His throat was already tickling for the taste of caffeine. Quietly, he continued walking, gaze towards the clear sky when a sign made of wood with words delicately etched into them caught his attention from his peripheral view. Stopping in his tracks, he stepped closer to the shop to read the fine writing.
le petite étoile
☆ 우리 작은 사랑 ☆
c'est votre jour spécial
Minseok squinted, reading the korean words out loud, “Our little love. Hmm, there’s French too?”
It definitely seemed like a mom ‘n’ pop’s type of spot based on what he could understand from the sign. Our little love. He imagined the owners to be an old married couple who had a dream of a growing old and sharing their love with the world with a cup of coffee. Minseok smiled at the thought, and it was enough to make him walk closer and look through the double glass doors. He bent over slightly, squinting to see past the tint and into the quaint, cozy modern interior. Okay, maybe not an old couple, he thought. Those inside varied in age, from students to business men to stylish and even dressed down youths, and they all somehow blended well with the setting. Even the lone barista who worked happily behind his counter. Was he by himself? Tom n Tom’s always had two or three staff members bustling and taking orders, Minseok thought as he stood a little upright to take a closer look through the glass, his face practically pressed against it (he was always one for observing, scoping out and collecting data before diving in to things).
Suddenly, the doors opened as a laughing couple exited, the short moment catching him off balance as he stumbled back and out of the way. The couple looked at him oddly - okay, maybe his staring through the window might have been just a bit creepy- as they tried to maneuver around him. Amongst their little dance of getting out the way, Minseok stumbled inside, making himself known to those inside, namely the barista who shouted out to him while working.
“Welcome to ‘Le petite’!” The shortened title and warm welcome suited the feel of the cafe and maybe Minseok would have accepted the greeted. However, Minseok currently stood very still, looking around feeling very embarrassed as he imagined everyone staring at him, which they didn’t but that still didn’t make him feel any better. Gathering himself, he stood upright, adjusting his tie as the professional introvert he was as he walked - or rather, grimaced- to the bar. He was in, he couldn’t leave or else the people around him, who probably didn’t care for him, would criticize him. Plus he didn’t want that welcome to go to waste, and well, he should probably really order something already.
The petite man made his way to the bar for ordering, a row of bar stools lined up to face the counter filled with all sorts of coffee making machine and tools Minseok had never before seen. He looked through them curiously, taken by them, and in the middle of his discoverings, the man who greeted him moment caught his attention with a cheery voice.
“What will you have, sir?” Lu Han, Minseok read off the barista’s name tag, smiled warmly at him with glossy teeth and thinned, curved lips. Minseok was definitely not accustomed to such a lively person, especially not in a cafe. At Tom n Tom’s, they smiled but they never went beyond hellos and how are yous. This person, though, seemed to speak as though he’d just came back from a good sale or something, Minseok guessed uncreatively.
Minseok continued his silent, in depth thinking as he quickly glanced at the chalk board with the day’s specials, the barista looking at him as though he was in his own world. (Lu Han would admit he thought it cute when customer’s were lost in their own world, this young fellow a perfect example and it just made him laugh inside).
Doppio, Ristretto, Espresso Demitasse... Since when did coffee become so complicated?
Minseok’s brows slowly came to a frown, some kind of inner struggle that became evident features and made the barista chuckle.
“Can’t decide?” Lu Han offered, interrupting Minseok’s thoughts.
“More like, can’t understand.” Minseok replied while still trying to pronounce the types of coffee, speaking for the first time with a meek voice, soft and light that, unbeknownst him, had made the barista’s lips twitch.
“Can I recommend the house affogato? You seem like the sweet yet robust type.”
Minseok was surprised at that observation, but smiled politely to hide it. “Do I?”
Lu Han nodded, smile turning into a comfortable grin.
“Well. I’m not a coffee enthusiastic, I just want my caffeine.”
“Ah, but you’re missing out, man!” The barista exclaimed, insisting like some kind of a naïve child. “On the house, just have a seat at the bar and I’ll bring it right up.”
Minseok blinked after the man, golden brown curls bouncing on top of his head as he moved to work the machines. The barista really was engaging and it made Minseok a bit shy inside but he could only quietly obey because the youthful man already began his work.
Minseok’s body automatically found a seat from the row of stools, head craning to take a look at how the barista worked at the contraptions. Quietly and attentively, his eyes briefed over the bulb like glass containers set up like beakers, cone-like papers molded into them. That’s when he noticed them, the pale long fingers delicately maneuvering the coffee grinder, transporting the fresh beans to the paper cone. It took a moment, but the coffee dripped into the glass bulb. Once filled a certain level, the bulb was taken to a miniature mug and it’s contents were poured in, expert hands slipping in a scoop of icecream and carefully designing. All the while, Minseok stared, entranced.
Lu Han, who didn’t miss the captivated face of his customer, kept his grin, eyes soft despite his unbreakable concentration to the very last moment of his work, ultimately placing the cup on a saucer in front of him.
Minseok sat back, head tilting as he took in the presentation. Somehow, he could still feel the buzz of Lu Han’s craftings emanating from the cup like an aura. His eyes focused on the design from the foam and he looked up quietly at Lu Han, questioning.
“It’s a mouse. You look like a mouse.” Lu Han answered, speaking to Minseok, he felt his shyness peak just aa bit more.
With a blush, Minseok replied. “Thanks.”
The barista leaned forward, too interested in mentally documenting every reaction of his new customer. Minseok had to turn his head to the side and cover the view of him sipping with the palm of his hand facing his cheek, still a bit shy under scrutinizing gaze. He took a sip, then immediately a gulp and that’s when the flavor kicked him brutally in all the right places. It was new and strange and Minseok loved it. His eyes widened after taking another sip and he directed a bewildered look to the barista, who simply laughed.
“What did I tell you?”
“It’s brilliant.” Minseok couldn’t deny, not one bit.
“What were you having before? You look like the holy mother of sacred espresso made an appearance,” Lu Han’s laugh tinkered as he leaned back, eyes twinkling with victory.
“Tom n Tom’s.” He replied dully, still focused on absorbing the coffee’s taste and essence into his very being in fear of losing it. The barista wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms.
“We have a saying here, friends don’t let friends drink from mainstream spots that carry cancer and laziness in their drinks. I have a duty to my customers, so do yourself a favor and never go back there again.” Lu Han said while stepping back, already retreating to the counter to help the other customers that wandered in and were forming a line, leaving Minseok thinking on those words.
Once his cup was empty (he would lick the drips from the inside, but he still wanted his dignity intact), Minseok placed it down and looked up to search for the barista. He was already chatting up some students, and something in Minseok vaguely hoped he’d come back soon to tell him more about these exotic flavors and see more of his techniques. But Lu Han soon became too busy, checking up on Minseok with a light smile and nod. Minseok settled on following those hands, those slender fingers that artistically moved in their workplace. Maybe convenience found a new cafe spot, Minseok thought later that day as he made his way home, thinking back on how the barista still smiled at him until he stepped past those glass double doors.
***
Work the next day was as routine as Minseok knew, except he found himself looking forward to more than just his late afternoon coffee. His office mate Kim Jongdae, a junior accountant who self proclaimed himself Minseok’s “cubby buddy” (they were in cubicle like offices), didn’t miss the chance to make it known to him.
“I saw Tom n Tom’s is closed for remodelling. I actually thought I’d get to see you grouchy without your coffee, hyung, but you really are hardly bothered.” Jongdae said in a musical voice, flicking tiny lints from his suit at Minseok.
“Stop that.” Minseok answered in a motone voice, indeed hardly bothered as he typed away at his spreadsheet. “I found another place. It’s...quaint. Homy. I like it.”
“Oh? You sure it’s not because there’s a cute barista with a nice set, hyung?” Jongdae grabbed the chrome Baoding Zen balls from Minseok’s desk and brought the up to his chest. It was poor imatation of female breasts as he moved them around midair with a kissy face, cackling as Minseok rolled his eyes and yanked them away from him.
“I’d believe you were a pervert if I didn’t already know you’re an actual overgrown child, Jongdae.”
“At least this overgrown child knows how to have a good time without being brooding creeper.”
Minseok grabbed one of the zen balls, dropping one of them but recovering from the clumsy move as he moved his legs to kick it, aiming at Jongdae’s butt.
“Don’t forget the ledger edits for are due tomorrow.” Jongdae announced as he escaped out of the Minseok’s cubicle with a loud giggle.
Minseok found himself returning to Le petite later that day, pushing through the glass doors and saying a prayer of thanks to no one because he wasn’t clumsy in his walk inside this time.
Lu Han, who was digging for an eclair, stood up and smiled past the little girl he handed the eclair to. It was the same cozy curve of lips he directed at Minseok yesterday, but there was no welcome announcement. Instead, he raised a brow as Minseok walked up to the bar. “Back again?”
Minseok nodded slowly, eyes wandering back up to the chalkboard menu. “I.” His voice was hoarse at first so cleared it, trying again. “I wanted to see what your mocha was like?”
“Oh, thinking of comparing it to your beloved Tom n Tom’s, eh? I’ll take you up on that challenge - .” Lu Han paused, a minor confused look about him as he didn’t have anything to call his customer.
“Oh, Minseok. I mean, I’m Minseok. My name. Kim Minseok,” Minseok fumbled with the words, nodding a bow and mentally kicking himself. All Lu Han did was smile kindly at his sputtered words. He always smiles. Is that that just his thing? Minseok pondered as he recovered from his brief embarrassment.
“Well, Minseok.” An amused grin danced upon the barista’s lips. “Prepared to be blown away.”
Lu Han moved to his tools, and Minseok thought he’d be okay with watching him do so all day. The moment was short lived, the chocolatey drink with fudgey lines and golden flakes (this time, the design was of a two dimensional prince) pushed towards him. Lu Han’s fingers lingered on the cup’s handle, turning it so it faced Minseok’s right hand.
To neither of their surprise, Minseok loved the drink instantly. The golden flakes made for a light crispiness to the otherwise foamy, silky drink. It was like this coffee variant was the Black Pearl itself, conquering his taste buds and invading his senses. There was an art to this, Minseok realized. Coffee was in art in this cafe, not just something that the hipsters or snobs came in to brag about the fancy names of the tasty drinks from some underground place.
Minseok’s elated eyes met with Lu Han’s from where he was sipping in his cup, and all the barista could was smile.
To Lu han, Minseok was a curious fellow. Most business men just came for their drink, but this particular suit & tie was different and he couldn’t help but keep an eye on him, wondering if indeed he’d return.
Returning every afternoon for Minseok was an unspoken law. He would continue to go back even after the Tom n Tom’s he formerly frequented was back in business weeks later. Lu Han wasn’t so shy to show his surprise, mostly amused at how his new regular kept coming back around the same time everday, but he couldn’t deny that he looked forward to his curious little suit & tie.
In the beginning during the first few weeks, their conversations only consisted of Lu Han recommending new drinks and introducing him to the fresh pastries they also sold. The cafe was busy enough on a regular basis so it was hard to speak more with the barista. During his stay, Minseok only briefly saw the owner, Joonmyun, and the other barista, Yixing, who was a bit quieter than Lu Han but nonetheless kind and warm. Still...
To Minseok, Lu Han was… a breathe of fresh air or, rather, a warm, enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Lu Han was so casual, bound by no rules, working without any particular professional method but his skills still shined through. And those hands, those pale long hands whose fingers held their own life. If Minseok were a cat, Lu Han’s hands would be the mouse-toy he’d constantly follow with his eyes...Maybe Jongdae was right, he might just be a brooding creeper. He should probably work on that, and in coming days he did.
Over the course of each visit, Minseok became bolder, asking Lu Han questions about how he knew so much about coffee knowledge. It took Lu Han away from his customers, so he would be sure to have Yixing work the bar as he told Minseok stories of his travels with the cafe’s owner, Joonmyun, across Africa and Columbia to learn about the different coffee beans. The stories enthralled Minseok, mostly because he had never travelled himself. The idea of travelling abroad never crossed his mind because, to him, his routine life was enough.
“Just enough?” Lu Han asked almost outraged one day when Minseok told Lu Han about his job as an accountant. “You’re as tamed as they come, aren’t you?” Lu Han chuckled playfully, and Minseok’s chest constricted a little (when did that start happening?)
“Don’t worry,” Lu Han continued as his fist lightly tapped Minseok’s shoulder. “Joonmyun and I talked about holding brewing classes soon. Then you can show off to your office mates, maybe get a cute date for your efforts.” Lu Han smiled, something glimmering in his eyes that Minseok couldn’t quite place.
Minseok didn’t mind casual flirting, it seemed especially innate in baristas and he’d had his share of it, though those were probably scripted. They had to, Minseok knew he was too ordinary and none would take any interest anyway. But with Lu Han...he blinked, centering himself as he nodded and smiled. Lu Han bantered away even while helping Yixing with the evening rush, going on about how he was the coffee man and Joonmyun was the one for pastries, and how they made a great team. He teased Minseok, saying he should be their accountant and count in ounces instead currency.
He knew he was being teased but Minseok couldn’t help playing with the idea of being behind the bar, serving up drinks as he danced around the other two baristas to get the coffees to their owners. The image turned into him playing with the homemade whipped cream with Lu Han, getting it on their hands, their faces… on Lu Han’s hands and lips… Minseok scrambled, face flushing at the image as the lukewarm cafe au lait Lu Han made for him earlier spilled on his lap. It was right then that Minseok decided he’d make a lousy barista as Lu Han laughed while helping to clean him up.
***
On a warm Sunday morning, Minseok found himself at the cafe bright and early for brewing class. He stood by quiet and shy only to find himself quickly easing up when Lu Han found him and greeted him.
“The accountant came! What a nice surprise, really.” He smiled, and it was infectious because soon Minseok found himself smiling. The class started shortly after. It was designed for beginners so it was easy enough. There was a good turn out and Minseok really soaked in how popular this cafe really was.
In the middle of class after Joonmyun and Lu Han gave their introductions to the brew craft, the class attendants were finally given their tool as they were given direction and instructions.
Lu Han approached Minseok after helping a few other students and watched attentively. Minseok gulped, nervous all too suddenly as he poured the beans into the grinder with some haste. He jumped when Lu Han extended his long fingers over Minseok’s, slowing him down.
“Your hands are too stiff, do you really think you can pour coffee like that? Ease up! You look as though you’ll grind the beans to sand and drown it with burnt water!“ Lu Han chuckled good natured as he demonstrated the correct way of grinding. Minseok meekly followed, embarrassed but suddenly so very interested and determined, a feeling he lost long ago since before he became an accountant. Maybe it was the excessive caffeine in the air, but he felt alive again, young even though he was still in his mid twenties.
Minseok made sure to frequent the classes as much as he was allowed to in between family gatherings to visit the cafe because he needed that feeling of being awake and of being welcomed. Lu Han’s smile and tendency to hover near Minseok and keep him company always had him coming back (the coffee was great too, he reminded himself.) Soon enough he found himself spending most of his time with the charming barista. What more was that Minseok smiled more, laughed more. He even managed to smile at Jongdae on random occasions, causing the younger to gush and announce loudly to their officemates that Minseok had a soul after all.
He couldn’t wait until the clock struck 4:00pm so he could leave work and meet with the barista who gave his plain, ordinary life that extra ingredient of flavor and excitement.
_____
Step One: Grind the Beans
_____
Joonmyun kept his eyes on Lu Han and his new favorite customer, the young man named Minseok, as they chatted. He watched as Lu Han took his breaks with him, only to return with beads of sweats along his hairline and a wild smile dancing on his lips. (Apparently Lu Han wanted to play soccer with Minseok in exchange for the brewing classes after the latter told him of his once childhood obsession).
Closing was the perfect time for interrogation, Joonmyun concluded, as he cornered the barista at the bar. Minseok had left right before closing, rushing out as he realized how late it was.
“I know that look,” Joonmyun piped up once they locked up the cafe and started cleaning up.
“What look?” Lu Han replied, voice sing song as he wiped down the machines. The sleeves of his long sleeved shirt were bunched up to his elbows, muscles moving along taut skin as he labored away. If Lu Han had to admit it, which he never would, he’d say he grew fond of the accountant, who may or may not have been his favorite regular. He couldn’t remember a time when he had gotten so personal with a customer, if ever such a thing was possible. The way Minseok’s defiant need to understand something simple to most intrigued Lu Han becaue it mirrored his own love for the brew craft. He was even more so taken at the fact that Minseok was a business man who had his life pretty straight forward and figured out, or so the other man had made it seem. He wiped some more, vaguely playing with the idea that maybe he envied him that. Just a bit.
“That look you get when you’re with that accountant guy, Minseok,” Joonmyun pressed on.
“Oh, that look.” Lu Han kept that lilt in his voice, no plans of elaborating as he moved to sweep the floor. It’s not as if he couldn’t deny it. Maybe he did like him, so what, it’s not like the young man didn’t show similar signs. Especially with the way he stared at him, at his hands, at his lips and eyes. Lu Han played ignorant but it didn’t mean he was.
“Well? Do I really have to pry it out of you?”
Lu Han shrugged vaguely, still not offering any details, stubbornly so that it started to make Joonmyun wonder who exactly of the two was the five year old that Lu Han accused him so often of being.
“He doesn’t look like the type to agree to a fling.” In the time that Joonmyun knew Lu Han, he never really settled down. He was the time to get a indulge in brief meetings, brief lovers. Yet, the mention of it unnerved Lu Han.
“Yup, I know.” Lu Han’s voice hadn’t changed. He took off the black apron as he finished putting everything away. “Are you done interrogating me about something that hasn’t even happened yet? I need to go.”
“About that.” Joonmyun seized the opportunity. “I don’t know what you’re up to, it’s your life and all and it obviously shouldn’t matter to your best friend, but it’s making you late. We still have a business to run, so.” Joonmyun’s voice shook a little, he hated these confrontations but it’s not like it had been easy for him either, ever since the tragedy that shook him not even a year ago.
Lu Han, calm as ever, simply nodded. “Got it. Won’t happen again.”
Joonmyun sighed. The barista, his best friend, always did this. No one could hold a smile that hid any pain or secrets like Lu Han did, and it worried the younger man to no end.
***
As it were, it did happen again. Lu Han had meandered into the cafe sleepily, dropping to the pile of cushions on the alcove near the entrance and pulling the sheets over himself. It was another long night for him doing god knows what, and he was tired. His lidded eyes chanced a glance at the clock: 4:30 am, he had a few more minutes until the cafe opened. Napping was bliss, any and all form of sleep a gift from the heavens if only it wasn’t disrupted so quickly.
There was a light tapping on the glass that Lu Han dismissed as something in his dreams, but it grew louder and groaned as he dragged himself up and pulled the sheer curtain covering the glass window to the side.
Minseok waved quickly. Lu Han checked the time, it was 6:00 am. Crap. He bolted up from his nest, unlocking and swinging the doors open sloppily. Meanwhile, Minseok wandered, face fresh and awake as if it were the afternoon already.
“I thought you guys were having an early class today? It’s Friday, right?” He said casually, making his way inside comfortably.
“I thought you worked Friday mornings, Minseok” Lu Han rubbed his face groggily and groaned. “Crap, that’s right. Joonmyun is going to kill me if I don’t have this place cleaned up.”
It was safe to say that the relationship Minseok and Lu Han had evolved from customer and barista to...friends. It was the only appropriate word Lu Han could muster. There was definitely something more teasing the surface of what they had, but Lu Han was never the confrontational type so he let it be. As for Minseok, he couldn’t complain. He was happy with his new friend, happy that the coffee that brought them together was now an integral part of his life.
“Holiday.” Minseok answered easily. “I’m going to my visit my grandparents for a few days so thought we could hang out before I left. I brought ddukkbokki.”
Lu Han could only stare at him as the other man set up their food on one of the tables, eyes still struggling to keep themselves millimeters open. To think Minseok, with his suit & tie who wandered into the cafe so shy and reserved before was now walking in on his days off to visit and hang out with him. Joonmyun should probably be worrying about his position as Luhan’s best friend’s being threatened by the likes of Minseok, Lu Han thought with amusement.
“This is good. It tastes expensive. I could never hope to eat this regularly, though.” Luhan said, joining Minseok at the table and smiling with lidded, sleepy eyes.
“Joonmyun says you spend your check right away. Maybe if you saved up, you’d have fancy meals too,” the other man quipped with an easy going grin.
“No no I don’t want to think about money. Tell me again about your shattered dreams of being a professional football player?”
“Ouch.”
Both laughed, mouths studded with the orange, gooey rice cakes. Not many moments passed when the backroom door opened, revealing a tired Joonmyun and a solemn Yixing bringing in the days pastries. Joonmyun eyed the two, smiling lightly and Minseok but frowning at Lu Han.
“I’m sorry, Minseok, but today’s class has been cancelled. We’re having a work meeting.”
“We are?” Lu Han asked confused.
Joonmyun sighed.
“You’ll have to come back later, Minseok. So sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Minseok replied, his tone betraying his words but he still obeyed respectfully, standing up and packing up the left overs. “See you later?”
Lu Han nodded, eyes following Minseok. So carefree, so willing to awlways come back to see him. Lu Han wished it were as easy as unlocking the door of a particular personified organ in his chest and letting Minseok in.
“Yixing, you can start grinding the beans for today in the backroom. You.” Joonmyun said sternly at Lu Han who was making to follow Yixing. “I need to talk to you.”
“About?” Lu Han yawned, grabbing a rag lazily and preparing to wipe down the tables.
“Your landlady called. She says she wants you out by today. I saw you walk into the cafe earlier when I drove by on my way to the bakery. What’s going on, Lu Han?”
“It’s no big deal. I’ll be fine.”
“You can talk to me. You know that, right?”
“Yea. Got it.”
“That’s it?” Joonmyun scathed. “That’s all you have to say, ‘got it’? Lu Han.” Joonmyun suddenly pleaded quietly. “You don’t talk to me anymore. I don’t even know where you’ve been staying. For all I know, you’re out drinking and sleeping with random people. Do you still even live at the apartment? Do you know how worried I’ve been? It’s been hard for me too Lu Han. You know it has been. Why don’t you let me in so we can deal with what happened to Yifan together?”
And there it was, the very thing neither of them ever dared bring up, the thing that Lu Han dismissed before being brought up, that they never dared talk about in the year since it happened because it was dangerous, it was taboo, it disrupted their sanity and the very peace that kept them together. It wasn’t supposed to, and it didn’t because Lu Han was strong. Lu Han only knew how to keep working and keep smiling, to tend to his beloved customers, to Minseok… Minseok. It hadn’t even been a month since they started talking. Why couldn’t he enjoy his company? Why did it have to feel so wrong?
“Why can’t you just leave me alone? Just because I found someone to like doesn’t mean you have to be jealous and freak out about my every move and-”
The loud slap of hand meeting cheek echoed in the empty room around them. Joonmyun’s breathing was labored, expression full of hurt and fury. Lu Han stood frozen, not moving his head that was still turned to the side from the force of Joonmyun’s hand. His eyes widened, tears burning as he slowly turned himself away from his friend. And just like that, Lu Han left the cafe, a haunting, unresolved silence left in his wake.
_____
Step Two: Boil the Pure Water
_____
Minseok returned to his office after his trip only to be swamped with work. He didn’t have any time after hours because he had so much to catch up on, visiting the cafe was out of the question. He had texted Lu Han a few times but no answer. Maybe he was busy too…
Some days into his busy week, Jongdae wailed audibly next door. Minseok was spacing out, thinking about the coffee from Le petite (but mostly thinking about Lu Han), only to be brought back to his surroundings from a wail that came from the cubicle next to him. He groaned, knowingly exactly who that high pitched voiced belonged to and hoped the owner of it didn’t make his way into his office. He did, though - Jongdae stomped into Minseok’s office, tripping over a potted plant on his way to his desk while adjusting his new over-sized glasses. Minseok thought it made him looking more childish than ever.
“Minseok! What are these calculations?” Jongdae smacked a folder filled with journal print outs into the other’s chest as he stood, red marks all over the reports pointing out many errors. “You can’t add anymore, hyung?!”
As he was dragged out of the office by his subordinate, it dawned on Minseok - he had been slipping up at work, that much was clear. He was making frequent transposition errors on the company’s journals, more than a few, actually, that caught the attention of the Controller: his father. Transposition errors were usually easy to spot and correct, that is, if they were caught immediately.
However, Minseok’s mind was not on catching these mistakes. Instead his thoughts frequently wandered to the forests of Congo, to the perfect taste of Le petite’s coffee melting in his mouth. Mostly, though, his thoughts would drift to the pearly skin of Lu Han’s fingers guiding his during their classes, to that mysterious smile that invaded Minseok’s mind, a smile that suddenly turned into the deep frown of his father who sat in the big boss’ chair behind his desk.
“Son, you’re slipping. Your numbers are slipping. What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing, sir. I’ll do better.” Minseok replied with an apologetic bow of his head. His father sighed but nodded, knowing his son would indeed make up for it, and that addressing his mishaps like this was just for official purposes.
“It’s just…This is so unlike you, Minseok. It’s like someone sabotaged your coffee.”
You have no idea, Minseok mused as his father looked over the reports Jongdae had given him earlier that needed correcting. After the coaching was done and he made his way back to his office (a noisy, whining Jongdae hovering him wherever he went to make sure he got his work done), Minseok could only think of how maybe routine wasn’t enough. He had to see Lu Han at least once a day to keep himself at bay and even then, he was slipping. Slipping into something he couldn’t understand but knew it was an addiction he simply had to feed. One would think his addiction would be the coffee, not it’s maker...
At the end of the week after Minseok caught up with all of his work, he went straight to the cafe only to be disappointed in finding that Lu Han wasn’t there.
“Don’t look so put out, Lu Han is ... taking a few days off.” Joonmyun smiled lightly at Minseok. He looked tired, sad even - Minseok couldn’t put his finger on it.
“Are you alright?” Minseok asked curiously, which took the younger man by surprise. His smile faltered but only just, smiling bigger.
“I’ll bring you your coffee. We can talk during my break.”
***
“So you haven’t seen him?” Minseok asked. They had gone outside to sit on one of the patio tables.
“No, not since...our fight broke out that morning you came by. More coffee?”
“Oh, no thanks…but will he really be okay?”
“This isn’t the first time. He’ll come around, I just hate seeing him like this,” Joonmyun sighed, continuing with a mumble, “You’d think I’d be the one taking it harder…”
“Sorry?”
“Oh, nothing.” Joonmyun’s subtle, mysterious smile from earlier was back again. Minseok swore Joonmyun and Lu Han could be related if he hadn’t known better.
“So, Minseok. Do you like Lu Han?”
Minseok choked on his own spit violently, definitely not expecting that question. His reaction elicited a light chuckle from the cafe owner who patted his back. He had to gather himself, realizing he might have hastily interpreted the inquiry.
“Of course. To me, he’s...becoming a good friend.”
“That’s not what I meant, Minseok,” Joonmyun began again, a little patronizing. “I mean really like him in that other sense.”
“Sorry?” Minseok asked bewildered, never really going that far in his thoughts. Did he? Was that what his spacing out and constant lucid dreaming of the barista meant, even when they were right next to each other? Who knew; obviously not Minseok.
“Don’t be.” Joonmyun’s head lulled to the side as he looked fondly at Minseok as a mother would, his next words surprising Minseok even more. “I think I already approve of you.”
Minseok gulped, those words laying heavy on him. Joonmyun had just told him that Lu Han disappeared, for good or for worse (Minseok would never really know), yet the barista’s best friend casually brought this up. This was all more than the life of an ordinary accountant could ask for. One day he wanders into a new cafe making a new friend, and the next he’s crushing on him, only to be left worrying for his whereabouts. The concern must have showed on his face because Joonmyun spoke up.
“Here’s his number, maybe he’ll answer if he knows it’s you? I don’t think he wants to hear from me.” He kept smiling that sad smile, handing Minseok a paper with scribbled numbers. “I have to get back to work but keep me updated, yea?”
“Yea…yea,” Minseok replied absently with the number in his hand as Joonmyun walked back inside the cafe. He picked up his phone and saved the number, padding away through different text drafts before finally sending one that didn’t sound so painfully awkward.
***
Joonmyun gave me your new number, it’s Minseok. I heard you’re feeling down. Maybe a cup of coffee or a game of footie to cheer you up?
Sent 5:00pm
_____
Step Three: Pour the Boiling Water on to the Ground Beans
_____
“Nothing gets under your skin, does it Lu Han?”
Lu Han shook his head absently at Minseok. He had replied to Minseok’s text late in the evening, inviting him over to meet up at a park somewhere near the heart of Seoul. They kept each other company in silence until Minseok had made that remark.
“I could say the same for you.” Lu Han replied after a moment. “Mister tamed professional.”
“That’s not true. I cry some times. Like when I lost to you the other day at soccer.”
“That’s right. You lost to the guy that brews your coffee.” Lu Han grinned as he stood up, pulling Minseok to walk with him out of the park and into sidewalk.
“Joonmyun says you are always out and never have money for yourself.” Minseok knew he was getting too personal but he couldn't stop himself. He was greedy, greedy to know Lu Han, to find out what lay beneath that mysterious, strong smile. In such a short time, he became so invested in the enigmatic barista that it became some kind of goal to get closer, closer than they managed as friends and even now as two people holding onto each other for warmth in the cold night.
“Hey, Minseokie. Let’s go for a drink, yea?” Minseok smiled impulsively at the nickname and couldn’t resist nodding. They both walked on, Lu Han being the one to guide them.
“I think Joonmyun is worried that you’re an alcoholic who sleeps around and might be a druggie. Did something happen, Lu Han? Your eyes are swollen.” Under the street lights, Minseok looked closer at Lu Han’s face as he spoke. “Your coffee doesn’t taste the same.”
Lu Han wrapped an arm around Minseok’s shoulders and grasped his jaw and cheeks with his hand in fingers.
“Since when does the accountant worry about things that don’t involve numbers, hmm?” Lu Han laughed, patting Minseok’s cheeks as he whisked him away towards a main street lined with clubs and bars, and Minseok let him.
***
Minseok drank with his officemates every so often, sometimes dragging a few of them home, so it wasn’t a foreign practice to him. What was foreign was the man in his arms, puking on the side of the club’s sidewalk (Minseok was a little proud of this joke, despite the circumstance). What was also foreign was his feelings for said wasted man, which he could admit he never felt for any of his officemates. He was slightly buzzed himself, unable to bring himself to get too wasted because he wanted to focus on Lu Han, on his enormous laughter, on the hands that are currently on his, reaching closer and closer for something Minseok hoped he could give him.
Minseok was slightly smaller than Lu Han but he was still able to drag him back to the cafe. He glanced up at the etchings on the wooden sign. “Say, Lu Han, what does the sign say anyway?” In all the time they spent together, only now it occurred to ask him.
“Mmm? Oh. Something stupid, konglish prolly,” Lu Han slurred, then giggled as he stuffed the keys into the glass doors’ knobs. “Wait, wait haha it says Little star, our little love, it’s your special day. See? Dumb.”
The smaller man helped pull the drunker of the two inside. Minseok looked around at the dark cafe, remembering his first time there and the loud, warm welcome. “Welcome to Le petite,” he whispered reverently as he pulled Lu Han onto one of the lounge area’s couch.
Lu Han, in his drunk glory, slurred in a sing song voice. “Hey, Minseokie. If I told you I blowed my check on chicks and dicks, would you believe me and think I’m a shit head?”
Minseok was worried, flinching at his sudden crude words, but he didn’t show it and only shook his head.
“Ding ding ding.” Lu Han had a dreamy look about him, wide smile plastered across his face while his lips remained closed. He barely stood upright on his own, swaying from side to side slightly. “You’re such a good friend. Such a weird little business man. You always come back to see me.” Lu Han patted his head, which was actually dragging his hand along Minseok’s hair and messing it up. “Such a loyal mouse prince. Let me show you something.” Lu Han stood, staggering to the back exit of the cafe.
“It’s a biiiig secret, you can’t tell Joonmyun or he’ll cry.” Minseok found himself following the golden brown tuft of hair out the back of the cafe and watch it unlock a gate, revealing a dome shaped metal unit. He couldn’t believe it, how could anyone miss such a big structure? Lu Han just laughed as he touched it, dragging his hand over the cold metal as he walked around it and talked out loud.
“I’m building a spaceship for me and my older brother, Yifan.” He slurred, barely coherent. “He’s in the hospital, you see. He’s been there for a while, back home in China, but we aren’t allowed to see him or talk to him, especially since they move him around so much. Load of crap, right? We don’t even know if he’s still alive...Actually, I strongly believe he’s out there somewhere. Up there maybe.” He pointed weakly to the night sky, making gun shooting gestures, sounding rather delirious. “Yea. He always talked about travelling to Pluto to prove he could stand outside the atmosphere and into space. They probably have aliens with advanced healing powers in the exo planets beyond our solar system, stars beyond...”
Something rang clear in Minseok and that’s when he realized. The name of their cafe...
“He and Joonmyun were together before this all happened, pretty deep in love if you asked me. He’s stronger than he gives himself credit, that Joonmyun,” Lu Han continued as if reading his thoughts, “and, even though he was my older brother, his heart shined brighter than a child’s. Petite etoile, jakkeun sarang. Little star, little love. Tall as hell though.” Lu Han laughed, maybe too hard because soon tears trailed, but then Minseok heard sobs resounding, and finally his body doubled over as though struck with pain, sliding down the metal wall and collapsing on the ground.
Minseok fell to his side, panicking, unsure of what to do for Lu Han as the crying, shaking man clung to him. All along, the man before him harbored such a pain, such a secret that anchored him to this. It seemed silly, to spend money on a childish, hopeless idea. Minseok was at a loss for words.
Lu Han, hardworking, jovial Lu Han who never complained and only smiled - a man in his own right. The sudden pang in Minseok’s heart, he noted, was not just because of the heartbreaking revelation (Minseok was never one to pity, as taught by his father). No...it was because of those hands, those tender, calloused, talented shaking hands that brewed his coffee, that casually touched him when his laugh tinkered over something Minseok did that he found silly, and that were now clinging to him desperately, unknowingly having brewed the very love blooming inside Minseok.
Silently, Minseok carried Lu Han back inside. He couldn’t give Lu Han the person he loved dearly but he could give him something else. After helping Lu Han sit on the bar’s floor, Minseok made a ruckus in the kitchen, remembering all he learned in the classes.
“Wha- what are you doing?” Lu Han sniffled as he looked up, eyes glistening with tears and nose turning a bright red. His gaze followed Minseok as he walked back to him holding a white miniature mug and saucer.
“You look like you could go for a cup of coffee.” He replied simply, handing him the set. “You seem like the robust yet sweet type.”
“Do I?” Lu Han asked a bit cautious, belatedly noticing how familiar this conversation was.
Minseok nodded, watching as Lu Han took tentative sips.
“This tastes like shit, you know,” Lu Han smiled tearily, still shaking but not as much as he took another sip regardless of the burnt taste
Minseok sat beside him silently, an arm snaking around Lu Han’s waist. He didn’t stop, even when Lu han froze initially but gradually warmed up to him. He let his head rest on Minseok’s shoulder, his breathing steadily coming back as his eyes fluttered close.
“Don’t tell Joonmyun, he’ll freak if he finds out there’s snot all over his peonies.”
_____
Final Step: Let Brew
_____
The next morning, Joonmyun walked into the cafe with very low energy. He hadn’t heard from Lu Han in days and he was in deep regret from their scuffle the other night. Joonmyun wondered if his friend would return to him at all...
Upon entering, he saw that familiar body laying limp on the usual spot, fast asleep, and his heart raced as he rushed over.
“Lu Han, you idiot, you can’t just disappear and show up still sleeping just before opening and-.” His brows shot up in confusion as another body rose up from underneath Lu Han’s arm.
“Minseok...?”
***
Lu Han stared at the metal dome, nursing his hangover with a cup of cafe au lait. After Joonmyun and Yixing caught him and Minseok reeking of alcohol, Lu Han took them to the back as he finally explained what he had been doing with his money, and why he hadn’t really had anywhere to sleep.
Joonmyun fainted when he saw the poor replica of a spaceship behind their cafe, waking up only to give Lu Han an earful at how stupid he was for wasting his money on something that wouldn’t even work, then fainting again. When he woke up a second time, he actually smiled, then burst into tears with Yixing catching him.
It wouldn’t be until a week later that Minseok would stop showing up to work, missing all calls from his father and Jongdae that would scare him at first but would be ignored. He’d be fired of course, but he’d have Lu Han. Just like he had him now, standing beside him and leaning into his form as they both watched Yixing trying to calm Joonmyun in his arms.
“It can be turned into a back cabin or something,” Minseok suggested, “for office meetings” - Lu Han smacked him - “or, you know, a little house with a shower since you don’t have an apartment room anymore.”
“Only if you help me rebuild it.” Lu Han tilted his head up to peck his cheek, smiling at the charming blush forming on Minseok’s cheeks but hesitating when he felt him freeze up.”
“Sorry, was that too soon? I didn’t read the signs wrong, did I? I thought you…” Lu Han trailed off, tired puffy eyes staring into Minseok’s.
Minseok cleared his throat as he spoke, voice soft and light for only Lu Han to hear. “I am pretty sure I do like you.”
Lu Han grinned, “You mean you coming everyday to stare at me as I make your coffee wasn’t just because of my good customer service?”
Minseok shook his head and laughed, blush deepening. “I like you,” he repeated with a bit more confidence, “I… know I can’t do anything for you in terms of your brother” Lu Han flinched slightly but he continued. “I want to help. In any way I can.”
“I know.” Lu Han sighed into his lips before bringing them closer to his, kissing him gently. Minseok tasted coffee and milk, the flavors of a wild roast from somewhere in the world. He knew he’d have all the time in the world now to learn those flavors.
pairing: minseok/luhan
length: 9.5k wc
ranting/genre/warnings: pg-13 - romance, minor tragedy
summary: coffee shop au; minseok falls for the barista whose delicate hands brew more than just coffee.
notes: originally written here for soccerncoffee
“Let me wake up next to you, have coffee in the morning and wander through the city with your hand in mine, and I'll be happy for the rest of my fucked up little life.”
― Charlotte Eriksson, Empty Roads & Broken Bottles; in search for The Great Perhaps
_____
Ingredient #1: Aged Coffee Beans
_____
Warm morning light poured into a cafe somewhere in the nook of Seoul’s outskirts, crawling up the light, golden skin of a sleeping form and outlining the shadows on its pale face. The cafe was still closed but there were already a few regulars waiting just outside the glass double doors, ready for their morning pick-me-up.
Joonmyun, the cafe’s owner who just parked and rushed to the cafe’s entrance, bowed at their clientele and offered his apologies with a bright smile. Once in, he woke up the slumbering form with a gentle tug of his shoulder, body slowly rousing in response.
“You slept inside the lounge again, Lu Han. This is not what I meant by being here earlier for your opening shift!” came the hissed whisper of the owner, small frame carrying the usual round of fresh breads and pastries he picked up at their partner bakery.
Lu Han, now half awake, replied with a wide yawn and stretch, swollen eyelids squinting open and hand impulsively running through his bed hair as he stood up from his makeshift sleeping area. He had slipped into the cafe in the cold, dark hours of the morning from whatever night adventure he had, gathering blankets Joonmyun left as decorations over the lounge area’s sofas and nesting within the glass-windowed alcove.
“I would say I did it because I love sleeping to the scent of our coffee bean roast but we both know that’s more than half true.” Lu Han answered, voice thick and husky.
“I’d believe it!” The shorter, more awake of the two was already making his way to the backroom to retrieve some utensils. “You live and breathe coffee,” he added right before disappearing.
“Joonmyun, if I lived and breathed coffee, I wouldn’t actually be breathing. I’d be a human beansack.” Lu Han grinned up sleepily at no one in particular at his own joke.
“I heard that. You’re not funny, Lu,” the younger of the two said while shaking his head as he started setting out the pastries on the windowed display. Joonmyun was only younger by a year, but he still acted is if he was the one who had all the responsibilities. “And I seriously hope you didn’t come straight from the Ella’s Bar.”
“I took a shower before coming so don’t freak out.”
“You damn well better have.” Joonmyun called back from where he was crouched. “So. What is it this time?” Joonmyun thought a loud. “Another month without paying rent?” the cafe owner guessed with a cocked eyebrow, now standing before him with a hand on his hip in a much too maternal way. “I already told you you could just sleep over at my place.”
“If I wanted that, I would have moved in with you long ago, you know that. Besides, you’re a clingy cuddle monster when you sleep, no thanks.”
Joonmyun had an immense pout that always betrayed his age. Looking at it always made Lu Han’s stomach churn a bit with conflict - how could someone so mature manage to turn into a child in a matter of seconds? Still, Lu Han had to look away to deflect the effect of that lip jutting out. Sleeping at his best friend’s house wasn’t new to him but, ever since a few a years ago, it was never the same. It didn’t seem right anymore, but he couldn’t tell Joonmyun so he played along, always being vague and playful.
“You make enough here, Lu. You’d be just fine with tips alone, it’s beyond me how you are left penniless so often,” the pout was gone now when Joonmyun inquired, genuine concern taking its place.
Lu Han only offered a smile at the term of endearment and a shrug at the underlying question. This was a topic he never wanted to delve into and usually dropped before it could start, so he dismissed it, walking towards the entrance instead to prepare their cafe for opening. An unresolved quiet settled among the two as he walked around the tables with a rag in hand, wiping the tables swiftly. They both knew when to respect each other’s desire for silence, never wanting to cause conflict. They were friends, after all, even if they coworkers.
Lu Han fit the role of senior barista perfectly, being the more sociable one, always on the move, with a talent for handling things smoothly under pressure so he worked the bar harmoniously alongside another employee they recently hired. Meanwhile, Joonmyun was the backbone and mastermind of the two, managing the numbers and generally keeping the place functioning and standing. It was just the three of them, but it worked.
He and Joonmyun were the best of friends since Lu Han had first transferred as an international student during their first year of middle school, his family moving to Korea for business purposes. During a home economics activity, they discovered their mutual interest in the culinary arts and from there, their friendship grew. There were years in between their school life where Joonmyun studied abroad - having been from a family of diplomats - but the two eventually found their way back to each other after college. It was then after that they stuck to each other, planning their lives together and rekindling their love for the delicacies the world offered. They travelled the world to learn about them, their interest soon focusing in the art of coffee beans. Joonmyun and Lu Han brought their learnings back home to Seoul where they teamed up to fulfill their dream of starting a business together, opening up a cafe of their own despite protests from their families.
Protests, then tragedies that shook them but never stopped them. Together, the built this cafe, their home. They both tucked the pain in the depths of their hearts, burying themselves in their craft and living their lives as normal as possible, as if nothing happened at all.
Once done setting down the chairs to their tables, Lu Han moved to unlock the doors and greeted each customer with a smile and a bow. Orders were taken as soon as he made his way behind the counter, hands expertly moving along metal, glass, and ceramic to prepare the drinks he loved and knew so well. Handing his customers their drinks was the greatest satisfaction, especially in the morning. Lu Han always liked glancing at the diverse faces of those pouring in, some still half asleep, others half hearted on being completely awake at all, and others going about their way without much to offer besides a distant focused look.
The cafe, along with its beloved and loyal clientele, was his comfort,their comfort, and he’d keep it that way as long as his hands could brew.
____
Ingredient #2: Pure, Fresh Filtered Water
_____
It was still dark out, dusk probably brimming just below the horizon somewhere.
Kim Minseok, private accountant for Kim Group Holdings, always woke up at 4:00 am on the dot to get dressed for work. Crunching numbers wasn’t his choice of grind, but he was good at it and his father wouldn’t settle for having a soccer player in their family’s line of successful business men. Minseok couldn’t complain, he enjoyed the quiet work and it paid well enough. He had a pretty routine life, clean cut with no traumas or troubles. Peaceful. Orderly. He walked in to the office for his full eight, then walked right out, bowing here, shaking hands there whenever needed. Even the coffee shop he visited was ordinary enough: a Tom n Tom’s on his way home. Convenient, one would say, except not when he found himself face to face with a blocked off cafe one morning, closed for remodelling. A singular deflated sigh escaped him.
How inconvenient.
After work, it was always a ritual to order a refreshing cup of coffee, especially on those days he had the stress of deadlines that only a hot, milky cup of his favorite brew could heal. That was comprised, though, now that his regular spot was inaccessibly. He could easily whip something up at home but...Minseok turned to face the length of the street, craning his neck to see if there was another chain of the franchise somewhere (they were literally everywhere on the same strip as his company’s building), but none were to be found. He walked on, disappointed. His throat was already tickling for the taste of caffeine. Quietly, he continued walking, gaze towards the clear sky when a sign made of wood with words delicately etched into them caught his attention from his peripheral view. Stopping in his tracks, he stepped closer to the shop to read the fine writing.
le petite étoile
☆ 우리 작은 사랑 ☆
c'est votre jour spécial
Minseok squinted, reading the korean words out loud, “Our little love. Hmm, there’s French too?”
It definitely seemed like a mom ‘n’ pop’s type of spot based on what he could understand from the sign. Our little love. He imagined the owners to be an old married couple who had a dream of a growing old and sharing their love with the world with a cup of coffee. Minseok smiled at the thought, and it was enough to make him walk closer and look through the double glass doors. He bent over slightly, squinting to see past the tint and into the quaint, cozy modern interior. Okay, maybe not an old couple, he thought. Those inside varied in age, from students to business men to stylish and even dressed down youths, and they all somehow blended well with the setting. Even the lone barista who worked happily behind his counter. Was he by himself? Tom n Tom’s always had two or three staff members bustling and taking orders, Minseok thought as he stood a little upright to take a closer look through the glass, his face practically pressed against it (he was always one for observing, scoping out and collecting data before diving in to things).
Suddenly, the doors opened as a laughing couple exited, the short moment catching him off balance as he stumbled back and out of the way. The couple looked at him oddly - okay, maybe his staring through the window might have been just a bit creepy- as they tried to maneuver around him. Amongst their little dance of getting out the way, Minseok stumbled inside, making himself known to those inside, namely the barista who shouted out to him while working.
“Welcome to ‘Le petite’!” The shortened title and warm welcome suited the feel of the cafe and maybe Minseok would have accepted the greeted. However, Minseok currently stood very still, looking around feeling very embarrassed as he imagined everyone staring at him, which they didn’t but that still didn’t make him feel any better. Gathering himself, he stood upright, adjusting his tie as the professional introvert he was as he walked - or rather, grimaced- to the bar. He was in, he couldn’t leave or else the people around him, who probably didn’t care for him, would criticize him. Plus he didn’t want that welcome to go to waste, and well, he should probably really order something already.
The petite man made his way to the bar for ordering, a row of bar stools lined up to face the counter filled with all sorts of coffee making machine and tools Minseok had never before seen. He looked through them curiously, taken by them, and in the middle of his discoverings, the man who greeted him moment caught his attention with a cheery voice.
“What will you have, sir?” Lu Han, Minseok read off the barista’s name tag, smiled warmly at him with glossy teeth and thinned, curved lips. Minseok was definitely not accustomed to such a lively person, especially not in a cafe. At Tom n Tom’s, they smiled but they never went beyond hellos and how are yous. This person, though, seemed to speak as though he’d just came back from a good sale or something, Minseok guessed uncreatively.
Minseok continued his silent, in depth thinking as he quickly glanced at the chalk board with the day’s specials, the barista looking at him as though he was in his own world. (Lu Han would admit he thought it cute when customer’s were lost in their own world, this young fellow a perfect example and it just made him laugh inside).
Doppio, Ristretto, Espresso Demitasse... Since when did coffee become so complicated?
Minseok’s brows slowly came to a frown, some kind of inner struggle that became evident features and made the barista chuckle.
“Can’t decide?” Lu Han offered, interrupting Minseok’s thoughts.
“More like, can’t understand.” Minseok replied while still trying to pronounce the types of coffee, speaking for the first time with a meek voice, soft and light that, unbeknownst him, had made the barista’s lips twitch.
“Can I recommend the house affogato? You seem like the sweet yet robust type.”
Minseok was surprised at that observation, but smiled politely to hide it. “Do I?”
Lu Han nodded, smile turning into a comfortable grin.
“Well. I’m not a coffee enthusiastic, I just want my caffeine.”
“Ah, but you’re missing out, man!” The barista exclaimed, insisting like some kind of a naïve child. “On the house, just have a seat at the bar and I’ll bring it right up.”
Minseok blinked after the man, golden brown curls bouncing on top of his head as he moved to work the machines. The barista really was engaging and it made Minseok a bit shy inside but he could only quietly obey because the youthful man already began his work.
Minseok’s body automatically found a seat from the row of stools, head craning to take a look at how the barista worked at the contraptions. Quietly and attentively, his eyes briefed over the bulb like glass containers set up like beakers, cone-like papers molded into them. That’s when he noticed them, the pale long fingers delicately maneuvering the coffee grinder, transporting the fresh beans to the paper cone. It took a moment, but the coffee dripped into the glass bulb. Once filled a certain level, the bulb was taken to a miniature mug and it’s contents were poured in, expert hands slipping in a scoop of icecream and carefully designing. All the while, Minseok stared, entranced.
Lu Han, who didn’t miss the captivated face of his customer, kept his grin, eyes soft despite his unbreakable concentration to the very last moment of his work, ultimately placing the cup on a saucer in front of him.
Minseok sat back, head tilting as he took in the presentation. Somehow, he could still feel the buzz of Lu Han’s craftings emanating from the cup like an aura. His eyes focused on the design from the foam and he looked up quietly at Lu Han, questioning.
“It’s a mouse. You look like a mouse.” Lu Han answered, speaking to Minseok, he felt his shyness peak just aa bit more.
With a blush, Minseok replied. “Thanks.”
The barista leaned forward, too interested in mentally documenting every reaction of his new customer. Minseok had to turn his head to the side and cover the view of him sipping with the palm of his hand facing his cheek, still a bit shy under scrutinizing gaze. He took a sip, then immediately a gulp and that’s when the flavor kicked him brutally in all the right places. It was new and strange and Minseok loved it. His eyes widened after taking another sip and he directed a bewildered look to the barista, who simply laughed.
“What did I tell you?”
“It’s brilliant.” Minseok couldn’t deny, not one bit.
“What were you having before? You look like the holy mother of sacred espresso made an appearance,” Lu Han’s laugh tinkered as he leaned back, eyes twinkling with victory.
“Tom n Tom’s.” He replied dully, still focused on absorbing the coffee’s taste and essence into his very being in fear of losing it. The barista wrinkled his nose and crossed his arms.
“We have a saying here, friends don’t let friends drink from mainstream spots that carry cancer and laziness in their drinks. I have a duty to my customers, so do yourself a favor and never go back there again.” Lu Han said while stepping back, already retreating to the counter to help the other customers that wandered in and were forming a line, leaving Minseok thinking on those words.
Once his cup was empty (he would lick the drips from the inside, but he still wanted his dignity intact), Minseok placed it down and looked up to search for the barista. He was already chatting up some students, and something in Minseok vaguely hoped he’d come back soon to tell him more about these exotic flavors and see more of his techniques. But Lu Han soon became too busy, checking up on Minseok with a light smile and nod. Minseok settled on following those hands, those slender fingers that artistically moved in their workplace. Maybe convenience found a new cafe spot, Minseok thought later that day as he made his way home, thinking back on how the barista still smiled at him until he stepped past those glass double doors.
***
Work the next day was as routine as Minseok knew, except he found himself looking forward to more than just his late afternoon coffee. His office mate Kim Jongdae, a junior accountant who self proclaimed himself Minseok’s “cubby buddy” (they were in cubicle like offices), didn’t miss the chance to make it known to him.
“I saw Tom n Tom’s is closed for remodelling. I actually thought I’d get to see you grouchy without your coffee, hyung, but you really are hardly bothered.” Jongdae said in a musical voice, flicking tiny lints from his suit at Minseok.
“Stop that.” Minseok answered in a motone voice, indeed hardly bothered as he typed away at his spreadsheet. “I found another place. It’s...quaint. Homy. I like it.”
“Oh? You sure it’s not because there’s a cute barista with a nice set, hyung?” Jongdae grabbed the chrome Baoding Zen balls from Minseok’s desk and brought the up to his chest. It was poor imatation of female breasts as he moved them around midair with a kissy face, cackling as Minseok rolled his eyes and yanked them away from him.
“I’d believe you were a pervert if I didn’t already know you’re an actual overgrown child, Jongdae.”
“At least this overgrown child knows how to have a good time without being brooding creeper.”
Minseok grabbed one of the zen balls, dropping one of them but recovering from the clumsy move as he moved his legs to kick it, aiming at Jongdae’s butt.
“Don’t forget the ledger edits for are due tomorrow.” Jongdae announced as he escaped out of the Minseok’s cubicle with a loud giggle.
Minseok found himself returning to Le petite later that day, pushing through the glass doors and saying a prayer of thanks to no one because he wasn’t clumsy in his walk inside this time.
Lu Han, who was digging for an eclair, stood up and smiled past the little girl he handed the eclair to. It was the same cozy curve of lips he directed at Minseok yesterday, but there was no welcome announcement. Instead, he raised a brow as Minseok walked up to the bar. “Back again?”
Minseok nodded slowly, eyes wandering back up to the chalkboard menu. “I.” His voice was hoarse at first so cleared it, trying again. “I wanted to see what your mocha was like?”
“Oh, thinking of comparing it to your beloved Tom n Tom’s, eh? I’ll take you up on that challenge - .” Lu Han paused, a minor confused look about him as he didn’t have anything to call his customer.
“Oh, Minseok. I mean, I’m Minseok. My name. Kim Minseok,” Minseok fumbled with the words, nodding a bow and mentally kicking himself. All Lu Han did was smile kindly at his sputtered words. He always smiles. Is that that just his thing? Minseok pondered as he recovered from his brief embarrassment.
“Well, Minseok.” An amused grin danced upon the barista’s lips. “Prepared to be blown away.”
Lu Han moved to his tools, and Minseok thought he’d be okay with watching him do so all day. The moment was short lived, the chocolatey drink with fudgey lines and golden flakes (this time, the design was of a two dimensional prince) pushed towards him. Lu Han’s fingers lingered on the cup’s handle, turning it so it faced Minseok’s right hand.
To neither of their surprise, Minseok loved the drink instantly. The golden flakes made for a light crispiness to the otherwise foamy, silky drink. It was like this coffee variant was the Black Pearl itself, conquering his taste buds and invading his senses. There was an art to this, Minseok realized. Coffee was in art in this cafe, not just something that the hipsters or snobs came in to brag about the fancy names of the tasty drinks from some underground place.
Minseok’s elated eyes met with Lu Han’s from where he was sipping in his cup, and all the barista could was smile.
To Lu han, Minseok was a curious fellow. Most business men just came for their drink, but this particular suit & tie was different and he couldn’t help but keep an eye on him, wondering if indeed he’d return.
Returning every afternoon for Minseok was an unspoken law. He would continue to go back even after the Tom n Tom’s he formerly frequented was back in business weeks later. Lu Han wasn’t so shy to show his surprise, mostly amused at how his new regular kept coming back around the same time everday, but he couldn’t deny that he looked forward to his curious little suit & tie.
In the beginning during the first few weeks, their conversations only consisted of Lu Han recommending new drinks and introducing him to the fresh pastries they also sold. The cafe was busy enough on a regular basis so it was hard to speak more with the barista. During his stay, Minseok only briefly saw the owner, Joonmyun, and the other barista, Yixing, who was a bit quieter than Lu Han but nonetheless kind and warm. Still...
To Minseok, Lu Han was… a breathe of fresh air or, rather, a warm, enticing aroma of freshly brewed coffee. Lu Han was so casual, bound by no rules, working without any particular professional method but his skills still shined through. And those hands, those pale long hands whose fingers held their own life. If Minseok were a cat, Lu Han’s hands would be the mouse-toy he’d constantly follow with his eyes...Maybe Jongdae was right, he might just be a brooding creeper. He should probably work on that, and in coming days he did.
Over the course of each visit, Minseok became bolder, asking Lu Han questions about how he knew so much about coffee knowledge. It took Lu Han away from his customers, so he would be sure to have Yixing work the bar as he told Minseok stories of his travels with the cafe’s owner, Joonmyun, across Africa and Columbia to learn about the different coffee beans. The stories enthralled Minseok, mostly because he had never travelled himself. The idea of travelling abroad never crossed his mind because, to him, his routine life was enough.
“Just enough?” Lu Han asked almost outraged one day when Minseok told Lu Han about his job as an accountant. “You’re as tamed as they come, aren’t you?” Lu Han chuckled playfully, and Minseok’s chest constricted a little (when did that start happening?)
“Don’t worry,” Lu Han continued as his fist lightly tapped Minseok’s shoulder. “Joonmyun and I talked about holding brewing classes soon. Then you can show off to your office mates, maybe get a cute date for your efforts.” Lu Han smiled, something glimmering in his eyes that Minseok couldn’t quite place.
Minseok didn’t mind casual flirting, it seemed especially innate in baristas and he’d had his share of it, though those were probably scripted. They had to, Minseok knew he was too ordinary and none would take any interest anyway. But with Lu Han...he blinked, centering himself as he nodded and smiled. Lu Han bantered away even while helping Yixing with the evening rush, going on about how he was the coffee man and Joonmyun was the one for pastries, and how they made a great team. He teased Minseok, saying he should be their accountant and count in ounces instead currency.
He knew he was being teased but Minseok couldn’t help playing with the idea of being behind the bar, serving up drinks as he danced around the other two baristas to get the coffees to their owners. The image turned into him playing with the homemade whipped cream with Lu Han, getting it on their hands, their faces… on Lu Han’s hands and lips… Minseok scrambled, face flushing at the image as the lukewarm cafe au lait Lu Han made for him earlier spilled on his lap. It was right then that Minseok decided he’d make a lousy barista as Lu Han laughed while helping to clean him up.
***
On a warm Sunday morning, Minseok found himself at the cafe bright and early for brewing class. He stood by quiet and shy only to find himself quickly easing up when Lu Han found him and greeted him.
“The accountant came! What a nice surprise, really.” He smiled, and it was infectious because soon Minseok found himself smiling. The class started shortly after. It was designed for beginners so it was easy enough. There was a good turn out and Minseok really soaked in how popular this cafe really was.
In the middle of class after Joonmyun and Lu Han gave their introductions to the brew craft, the class attendants were finally given their tool as they were given direction and instructions.
Lu Han approached Minseok after helping a few other students and watched attentively. Minseok gulped, nervous all too suddenly as he poured the beans into the grinder with some haste. He jumped when Lu Han extended his long fingers over Minseok’s, slowing him down.
“Your hands are too stiff, do you really think you can pour coffee like that? Ease up! You look as though you’ll grind the beans to sand and drown it with burnt water!“ Lu Han chuckled good natured as he demonstrated the correct way of grinding. Minseok meekly followed, embarrassed but suddenly so very interested and determined, a feeling he lost long ago since before he became an accountant. Maybe it was the excessive caffeine in the air, but he felt alive again, young even though he was still in his mid twenties.
Minseok made sure to frequent the classes as much as he was allowed to in between family gatherings to visit the cafe because he needed that feeling of being awake and of being welcomed. Lu Han’s smile and tendency to hover near Minseok and keep him company always had him coming back (the coffee was great too, he reminded himself.) Soon enough he found himself spending most of his time with the charming barista. What more was that Minseok smiled more, laughed more. He even managed to smile at Jongdae on random occasions, causing the younger to gush and announce loudly to their officemates that Minseok had a soul after all.
He couldn’t wait until the clock struck 4:00pm so he could leave work and meet with the barista who gave his plain, ordinary life that extra ingredient of flavor and excitement.
_____
Step One: Grind the Beans
_____
Joonmyun kept his eyes on Lu Han and his new favorite customer, the young man named Minseok, as they chatted. He watched as Lu Han took his breaks with him, only to return with beads of sweats along his hairline and a wild smile dancing on his lips. (Apparently Lu Han wanted to play soccer with Minseok in exchange for the brewing classes after the latter told him of his once childhood obsession).
Closing was the perfect time for interrogation, Joonmyun concluded, as he cornered the barista at the bar. Minseok had left right before closing, rushing out as he realized how late it was.
“I know that look,” Joonmyun piped up once they locked up the cafe and started cleaning up.
“What look?” Lu Han replied, voice sing song as he wiped down the machines. The sleeves of his long sleeved shirt were bunched up to his elbows, muscles moving along taut skin as he labored away. If Lu Han had to admit it, which he never would, he’d say he grew fond of the accountant, who may or may not have been his favorite regular. He couldn’t remember a time when he had gotten so personal with a customer, if ever such a thing was possible. The way Minseok’s defiant need to understand something simple to most intrigued Lu Han becaue it mirrored his own love for the brew craft. He was even more so taken at the fact that Minseok was a business man who had his life pretty straight forward and figured out, or so the other man had made it seem. He wiped some more, vaguely playing with the idea that maybe he envied him that. Just a bit.
“That look you get when you’re with that accountant guy, Minseok,” Joonmyun pressed on.
“Oh, that look.” Lu Han kept that lilt in his voice, no plans of elaborating as he moved to sweep the floor. It’s not as if he couldn’t deny it. Maybe he did like him, so what, it’s not like the young man didn’t show similar signs. Especially with the way he stared at him, at his hands, at his lips and eyes. Lu Han played ignorant but it didn’t mean he was.
“Well? Do I really have to pry it out of you?”
Lu Han shrugged vaguely, still not offering any details, stubbornly so that it started to make Joonmyun wonder who exactly of the two was the five year old that Lu Han accused him so often of being.
“He doesn’t look like the type to agree to a fling.” In the time that Joonmyun knew Lu Han, he never really settled down. He was the time to get a indulge in brief meetings, brief lovers. Yet, the mention of it unnerved Lu Han.
“Yup, I know.” Lu Han’s voice hadn’t changed. He took off the black apron as he finished putting everything away. “Are you done interrogating me about something that hasn’t even happened yet? I need to go.”
“About that.” Joonmyun seized the opportunity. “I don’t know what you’re up to, it’s your life and all and it obviously shouldn’t matter to your best friend, but it’s making you late. We still have a business to run, so.” Joonmyun’s voice shook a little, he hated these confrontations but it’s not like it had been easy for him either, ever since the tragedy that shook him not even a year ago.
Lu Han, calm as ever, simply nodded. “Got it. Won’t happen again.”
Joonmyun sighed. The barista, his best friend, always did this. No one could hold a smile that hid any pain or secrets like Lu Han did, and it worried the younger man to no end.
***
As it were, it did happen again. Lu Han had meandered into the cafe sleepily, dropping to the pile of cushions on the alcove near the entrance and pulling the sheets over himself. It was another long night for him doing god knows what, and he was tired. His lidded eyes chanced a glance at the clock: 4:30 am, he had a few more minutes until the cafe opened. Napping was bliss, any and all form of sleep a gift from the heavens if only it wasn’t disrupted so quickly.
There was a light tapping on the glass that Lu Han dismissed as something in his dreams, but it grew louder and groaned as he dragged himself up and pulled the sheer curtain covering the glass window to the side.
Minseok waved quickly. Lu Han checked the time, it was 6:00 am. Crap. He bolted up from his nest, unlocking and swinging the doors open sloppily. Meanwhile, Minseok wandered, face fresh and awake as if it were the afternoon already.
“I thought you guys were having an early class today? It’s Friday, right?” He said casually, making his way inside comfortably.
“I thought you worked Friday mornings, Minseok” Lu Han rubbed his face groggily and groaned. “Crap, that’s right. Joonmyun is going to kill me if I don’t have this place cleaned up.”
It was safe to say that the relationship Minseok and Lu Han had evolved from customer and barista to...friends. It was the only appropriate word Lu Han could muster. There was definitely something more teasing the surface of what they had, but Lu Han was never the confrontational type so he let it be. As for Minseok, he couldn’t complain. He was happy with his new friend, happy that the coffee that brought them together was now an integral part of his life.
“Holiday.” Minseok answered easily. “I’m going to my visit my grandparents for a few days so thought we could hang out before I left. I brought ddukkbokki.”
Lu Han could only stare at him as the other man set up their food on one of the tables, eyes still struggling to keep themselves millimeters open. To think Minseok, with his suit & tie who wandered into the cafe so shy and reserved before was now walking in on his days off to visit and hang out with him. Joonmyun should probably be worrying about his position as Luhan’s best friend’s being threatened by the likes of Minseok, Lu Han thought with amusement.
“This is good. It tastes expensive. I could never hope to eat this regularly, though.” Luhan said, joining Minseok at the table and smiling with lidded, sleepy eyes.
“Joonmyun says you spend your check right away. Maybe if you saved up, you’d have fancy meals too,” the other man quipped with an easy going grin.
“No no I don’t want to think about money. Tell me again about your shattered dreams of being a professional football player?”
“Ouch.”
Both laughed, mouths studded with the orange, gooey rice cakes. Not many moments passed when the backroom door opened, revealing a tired Joonmyun and a solemn Yixing bringing in the days pastries. Joonmyun eyed the two, smiling lightly and Minseok but frowning at Lu Han.
“I’m sorry, Minseok, but today’s class has been cancelled. We’re having a work meeting.”
“We are?” Lu Han asked confused.
Joonmyun sighed.
“You’ll have to come back later, Minseok. So sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Minseok replied, his tone betraying his words but he still obeyed respectfully, standing up and packing up the left overs. “See you later?”
Lu Han nodded, eyes following Minseok. So carefree, so willing to awlways come back to see him. Lu Han wished it were as easy as unlocking the door of a particular personified organ in his chest and letting Minseok in.
“Yixing, you can start grinding the beans for today in the backroom. You.” Joonmyun said sternly at Lu Han who was making to follow Yixing. “I need to talk to you.”
“About?” Lu Han yawned, grabbing a rag lazily and preparing to wipe down the tables.
“Your landlady called. She says she wants you out by today. I saw you walk into the cafe earlier when I drove by on my way to the bakery. What’s going on, Lu Han?”
“It’s no big deal. I’ll be fine.”
“You can talk to me. You know that, right?”
“Yea. Got it.”
“That’s it?” Joonmyun scathed. “That’s all you have to say, ‘got it’? Lu Han.” Joonmyun suddenly pleaded quietly. “You don’t talk to me anymore. I don’t even know where you’ve been staying. For all I know, you’re out drinking and sleeping with random people. Do you still even live at the apartment? Do you know how worried I’ve been? It’s been hard for me too Lu Han. You know it has been. Why don’t you let me in so we can deal with what happened to Yifan together?”
And there it was, the very thing neither of them ever dared bring up, the thing that Lu Han dismissed before being brought up, that they never dared talk about in the year since it happened because it was dangerous, it was taboo, it disrupted their sanity and the very peace that kept them together. It wasn’t supposed to, and it didn’t because Lu Han was strong. Lu Han only knew how to keep working and keep smiling, to tend to his beloved customers, to Minseok… Minseok. It hadn’t even been a month since they started talking. Why couldn’t he enjoy his company? Why did it have to feel so wrong?
“Why can’t you just leave me alone? Just because I found someone to like doesn’t mean you have to be jealous and freak out about my every move and-”
The loud slap of hand meeting cheek echoed in the empty room around them. Joonmyun’s breathing was labored, expression full of hurt and fury. Lu Han stood frozen, not moving his head that was still turned to the side from the force of Joonmyun’s hand. His eyes widened, tears burning as he slowly turned himself away from his friend. And just like that, Lu Han left the cafe, a haunting, unresolved silence left in his wake.
_____
Step Two: Boil the Pure Water
_____
Minseok returned to his office after his trip only to be swamped with work. He didn’t have any time after hours because he had so much to catch up on, visiting the cafe was out of the question. He had texted Lu Han a few times but no answer. Maybe he was busy too…
Some days into his busy week, Jongdae wailed audibly next door. Minseok was spacing out, thinking about the coffee from Le petite (but mostly thinking about Lu Han), only to be brought back to his surroundings from a wail that came from the cubicle next to him. He groaned, knowingly exactly who that high pitched voiced belonged to and hoped the owner of it didn’t make his way into his office. He did, though - Jongdae stomped into Minseok’s office, tripping over a potted plant on his way to his desk while adjusting his new over-sized glasses. Minseok thought it made him looking more childish than ever.
“Minseok! What are these calculations?” Jongdae smacked a folder filled with journal print outs into the other’s chest as he stood, red marks all over the reports pointing out many errors. “You can’t add anymore, hyung?!”
As he was dragged out of the office by his subordinate, it dawned on Minseok - he had been slipping up at work, that much was clear. He was making frequent transposition errors on the company’s journals, more than a few, actually, that caught the attention of the Controller: his father. Transposition errors were usually easy to spot and correct, that is, if they were caught immediately.
However, Minseok’s mind was not on catching these mistakes. Instead his thoughts frequently wandered to the forests of Congo, to the perfect taste of Le petite’s coffee melting in his mouth. Mostly, though, his thoughts would drift to the pearly skin of Lu Han’s fingers guiding his during their classes, to that mysterious smile that invaded Minseok’s mind, a smile that suddenly turned into the deep frown of his father who sat in the big boss’ chair behind his desk.
“Son, you’re slipping. Your numbers are slipping. What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing, sir. I’ll do better.” Minseok replied with an apologetic bow of his head. His father sighed but nodded, knowing his son would indeed make up for it, and that addressing his mishaps like this was just for official purposes.
“It’s just…This is so unlike you, Minseok. It’s like someone sabotaged your coffee.”
You have no idea, Minseok mused as his father looked over the reports Jongdae had given him earlier that needed correcting. After the coaching was done and he made his way back to his office (a noisy, whining Jongdae hovering him wherever he went to make sure he got his work done), Minseok could only think of how maybe routine wasn’t enough. He had to see Lu Han at least once a day to keep himself at bay and even then, he was slipping. Slipping into something he couldn’t understand but knew it was an addiction he simply had to feed. One would think his addiction would be the coffee, not it’s maker...
At the end of the week after Minseok caught up with all of his work, he went straight to the cafe only to be disappointed in finding that Lu Han wasn’t there.
“Don’t look so put out, Lu Han is ... taking a few days off.” Joonmyun smiled lightly at Minseok. He looked tired, sad even - Minseok couldn’t put his finger on it.
“Are you alright?” Minseok asked curiously, which took the younger man by surprise. His smile faltered but only just, smiling bigger.
“I’ll bring you your coffee. We can talk during my break.”
***
“So you haven’t seen him?” Minseok asked. They had gone outside to sit on one of the patio tables.
“No, not since...our fight broke out that morning you came by. More coffee?”
“Oh, no thanks…but will he really be okay?”
“This isn’t the first time. He’ll come around, I just hate seeing him like this,” Joonmyun sighed, continuing with a mumble, “You’d think I’d be the one taking it harder…”
“Sorry?”
“Oh, nothing.” Joonmyun’s subtle, mysterious smile from earlier was back again. Minseok swore Joonmyun and Lu Han could be related if he hadn’t known better.
“So, Minseok. Do you like Lu Han?”
Minseok choked on his own spit violently, definitely not expecting that question. His reaction elicited a light chuckle from the cafe owner who patted his back. He had to gather himself, realizing he might have hastily interpreted the inquiry.
“Of course. To me, he’s...becoming a good friend.”
“That’s not what I meant, Minseok,” Joonmyun began again, a little patronizing. “I mean really like him in that other sense.”
“Sorry?” Minseok asked bewildered, never really going that far in his thoughts. Did he? Was that what his spacing out and constant lucid dreaming of the barista meant, even when they were right next to each other? Who knew; obviously not Minseok.
“Don’t be.” Joonmyun’s head lulled to the side as he looked fondly at Minseok as a mother would, his next words surprising Minseok even more. “I think I already approve of you.”
Minseok gulped, those words laying heavy on him. Joonmyun had just told him that Lu Han disappeared, for good or for worse (Minseok would never really know), yet the barista’s best friend casually brought this up. This was all more than the life of an ordinary accountant could ask for. One day he wanders into a new cafe making a new friend, and the next he’s crushing on him, only to be left worrying for his whereabouts. The concern must have showed on his face because Joonmyun spoke up.
“Here’s his number, maybe he’ll answer if he knows it’s you? I don’t think he wants to hear from me.” He kept smiling that sad smile, handing Minseok a paper with scribbled numbers. “I have to get back to work but keep me updated, yea?”
“Yea…yea,” Minseok replied absently with the number in his hand as Joonmyun walked back inside the cafe. He picked up his phone and saved the number, padding away through different text drafts before finally sending one that didn’t sound so painfully awkward.
***
Joonmyun gave me your new number, it’s Minseok. I heard you’re feeling down. Maybe a cup of coffee or a game of footie to cheer you up?
Sent 5:00pm
_____
Step Three: Pour the Boiling Water on to the Ground Beans
_____
“Nothing gets under your skin, does it Lu Han?”
Lu Han shook his head absently at Minseok. He had replied to Minseok’s text late in the evening, inviting him over to meet up at a park somewhere near the heart of Seoul. They kept each other company in silence until Minseok had made that remark.
“I could say the same for you.” Lu Han replied after a moment. “Mister tamed professional.”
“That’s not true. I cry some times. Like when I lost to you the other day at soccer.”
“That’s right. You lost to the guy that brews your coffee.” Lu Han grinned as he stood up, pulling Minseok to walk with him out of the park and into sidewalk.
“Joonmyun says you are always out and never have money for yourself.” Minseok knew he was getting too personal but he couldn't stop himself. He was greedy, greedy to know Lu Han, to find out what lay beneath that mysterious, strong smile. In such a short time, he became so invested in the enigmatic barista that it became some kind of goal to get closer, closer than they managed as friends and even now as two people holding onto each other for warmth in the cold night.
“Hey, Minseokie. Let’s go for a drink, yea?” Minseok smiled impulsively at the nickname and couldn’t resist nodding. They both walked on, Lu Han being the one to guide them.
“I think Joonmyun is worried that you’re an alcoholic who sleeps around and might be a druggie. Did something happen, Lu Han? Your eyes are swollen.” Under the street lights, Minseok looked closer at Lu Han’s face as he spoke. “Your coffee doesn’t taste the same.”
Lu Han wrapped an arm around Minseok’s shoulders and grasped his jaw and cheeks with his hand in fingers.
“Since when does the accountant worry about things that don’t involve numbers, hmm?” Lu Han laughed, patting Minseok’s cheeks as he whisked him away towards a main street lined with clubs and bars, and Minseok let him.
***
Minseok drank with his officemates every so often, sometimes dragging a few of them home, so it wasn’t a foreign practice to him. What was foreign was the man in his arms, puking on the side of the club’s sidewalk (Minseok was a little proud of this joke, despite the circumstance). What was also foreign was his feelings for said wasted man, which he could admit he never felt for any of his officemates. He was slightly buzzed himself, unable to bring himself to get too wasted because he wanted to focus on Lu Han, on his enormous laughter, on the hands that are currently on his, reaching closer and closer for something Minseok hoped he could give him.
Minseok was slightly smaller than Lu Han but he was still able to drag him back to the cafe. He glanced up at the etchings on the wooden sign. “Say, Lu Han, what does the sign say anyway?” In all the time they spent together, only now it occurred to ask him.
“Mmm? Oh. Something stupid, konglish prolly,” Lu Han slurred, then giggled as he stuffed the keys into the glass doors’ knobs. “Wait, wait haha it says Little star, our little love, it’s your special day. See? Dumb.”
The smaller man helped pull the drunker of the two inside. Minseok looked around at the dark cafe, remembering his first time there and the loud, warm welcome. “Welcome to Le petite,” he whispered reverently as he pulled Lu Han onto one of the lounge area’s couch.
Lu Han, in his drunk glory, slurred in a sing song voice. “Hey, Minseokie. If I told you I blowed my check on chicks and dicks, would you believe me and think I’m a shit head?”
Minseok was worried, flinching at his sudden crude words, but he didn’t show it and only shook his head.
“Ding ding ding.” Lu Han had a dreamy look about him, wide smile plastered across his face while his lips remained closed. He barely stood upright on his own, swaying from side to side slightly. “You’re such a good friend. Such a weird little business man. You always come back to see me.” Lu Han patted his head, which was actually dragging his hand along Minseok’s hair and messing it up. “Such a loyal mouse prince. Let me show you something.” Lu Han stood, staggering to the back exit of the cafe.
“It’s a biiiig secret, you can’t tell Joonmyun or he’ll cry.” Minseok found himself following the golden brown tuft of hair out the back of the cafe and watch it unlock a gate, revealing a dome shaped metal unit. He couldn’t believe it, how could anyone miss such a big structure? Lu Han just laughed as he touched it, dragging his hand over the cold metal as he walked around it and talked out loud.
“I’m building a spaceship for me and my older brother, Yifan.” He slurred, barely coherent. “He’s in the hospital, you see. He’s been there for a while, back home in China, but we aren’t allowed to see him or talk to him, especially since they move him around so much. Load of crap, right? We don’t even know if he’s still alive...Actually, I strongly believe he’s out there somewhere. Up there maybe.” He pointed weakly to the night sky, making gun shooting gestures, sounding rather delirious. “Yea. He always talked about travelling to Pluto to prove he could stand outside the atmosphere and into space. They probably have aliens with advanced healing powers in the exo planets beyond our solar system, stars beyond...”
Something rang clear in Minseok and that’s when he realized. The name of their cafe...
“He and Joonmyun were together before this all happened, pretty deep in love if you asked me. He’s stronger than he gives himself credit, that Joonmyun,” Lu Han continued as if reading his thoughts, “and, even though he was my older brother, his heart shined brighter than a child’s. Petite etoile, jakkeun sarang. Little star, little love. Tall as hell though.” Lu Han laughed, maybe too hard because soon tears trailed, but then Minseok heard sobs resounding, and finally his body doubled over as though struck with pain, sliding down the metal wall and collapsing on the ground.
Minseok fell to his side, panicking, unsure of what to do for Lu Han as the crying, shaking man clung to him. All along, the man before him harbored such a pain, such a secret that anchored him to this. It seemed silly, to spend money on a childish, hopeless idea. Minseok was at a loss for words.
Lu Han, hardworking, jovial Lu Han who never complained and only smiled - a man in his own right. The sudden pang in Minseok’s heart, he noted, was not just because of the heartbreaking revelation (Minseok was never one to pity, as taught by his father). No...it was because of those hands, those tender, calloused, talented shaking hands that brewed his coffee, that casually touched him when his laugh tinkered over something Minseok did that he found silly, and that were now clinging to him desperately, unknowingly having brewed the very love blooming inside Minseok.
Silently, Minseok carried Lu Han back inside. He couldn’t give Lu Han the person he loved dearly but he could give him something else. After helping Lu Han sit on the bar’s floor, Minseok made a ruckus in the kitchen, remembering all he learned in the classes.
“Wha- what are you doing?” Lu Han sniffled as he looked up, eyes glistening with tears and nose turning a bright red. His gaze followed Minseok as he walked back to him holding a white miniature mug and saucer.
“You look like you could go for a cup of coffee.” He replied simply, handing him the set. “You seem like the robust yet sweet type.”
“Do I?” Lu Han asked a bit cautious, belatedly noticing how familiar this conversation was.
Minseok nodded, watching as Lu Han took tentative sips.
“This tastes like shit, you know,” Lu Han smiled tearily, still shaking but not as much as he took another sip regardless of the burnt taste
Minseok sat beside him silently, an arm snaking around Lu Han’s waist. He didn’t stop, even when Lu han froze initially but gradually warmed up to him. He let his head rest on Minseok’s shoulder, his breathing steadily coming back as his eyes fluttered close.
“Don’t tell Joonmyun, he’ll freak if he finds out there’s snot all over his peonies.”
_____
Final Step: Let Brew
_____
The next morning, Joonmyun walked into the cafe with very low energy. He hadn’t heard from Lu Han in days and he was in deep regret from their scuffle the other night. Joonmyun wondered if his friend would return to him at all...
Upon entering, he saw that familiar body laying limp on the usual spot, fast asleep, and his heart raced as he rushed over.
“Lu Han, you idiot, you can’t just disappear and show up still sleeping just before opening and-.” His brows shot up in confusion as another body rose up from underneath Lu Han’s arm.
“Minseok...?”
***
Lu Han stared at the metal dome, nursing his hangover with a cup of cafe au lait. After Joonmyun and Yixing caught him and Minseok reeking of alcohol, Lu Han took them to the back as he finally explained what he had been doing with his money, and why he hadn’t really had anywhere to sleep.
Joonmyun fainted when he saw the poor replica of a spaceship behind their cafe, waking up only to give Lu Han an earful at how stupid he was for wasting his money on something that wouldn’t even work, then fainting again. When he woke up a second time, he actually smiled, then burst into tears with Yixing catching him.
It wouldn’t be until a week later that Minseok would stop showing up to work, missing all calls from his father and Jongdae that would scare him at first but would be ignored. He’d be fired of course, but he’d have Lu Han. Just like he had him now, standing beside him and leaning into his form as they both watched Yixing trying to calm Joonmyun in his arms.
“It can be turned into a back cabin or something,” Minseok suggested, “for office meetings” - Lu Han smacked him - “or, you know, a little house with a shower since you don’t have an apartment room anymore.”
“Only if you help me rebuild it.” Lu Han tilted his head up to peck his cheek, smiling at the charming blush forming on Minseok’s cheeks but hesitating when he felt him freeze up.”
“Sorry, was that too soon? I didn’t read the signs wrong, did I? I thought you…” Lu Han trailed off, tired puffy eyes staring into Minseok’s.
Minseok cleared his throat as he spoke, voice soft and light for only Lu Han to hear. “I am pretty sure I do like you.”
Lu Han grinned, “You mean you coming everyday to stare at me as I make your coffee wasn’t just because of my good customer service?”
Minseok shook his head and laughed, blush deepening. “I like you,” he repeated with a bit more confidence, “I… know I can’t do anything for you in terms of your brother” Lu Han flinched slightly but he continued. “I want to help. In any way I can.”
“I know.” Lu Han sighed into his lips before bringing them closer to his, kissing him gently. Minseok tasted coffee and milk, the flavors of a wild roast from somewhere in the world. He knew he’d have all the time in the world now to learn those flavors.