"Sunday Sadness"
okay okay... its june 19 already... wasnt able to post for the past couple of days... =( i feel so pathetiq... miss him so much... =( i really do... i dunno why but i really do... ive been staying inside my room for like the longest time.. the only time i went out was last night... and still i dunno... i think god inteded me to be alone... and miserable... hayyyy.... =( sad nu?
well, last night... i went to glorietta and greenbelt with a couple of friends... i went out with my budding gay neighbur koji hus 16 years old and is very "malandi"... we went to startbucks g4... saw a couple of friends... matt and jakester who recently graduated!!! congrats sweetie... =) saw niconico as always... after a lot of whining about the icky manila weather... had to rush to greenbelt to meet kirby and heidz... my ever favorite models... and yeah aedrian and his new toy was there... as always... hayyy....
the whole night i kept on thinking bout him... kept on telling myself i miss him... but then i dont know... it fuckin hurts... =( am confused... hayyy...
my friends keep tellin me i look such a stupid bitch... i know right? i look pathetiq and all that right? but who fucking cares?!?!?! i dont care what people are gunna say about me... am happy... =( oh fuck... am crying again... how sad could a bitch like me possibly get? i hope this is it... i hope this is the verge of being frucked up... oh whatever...
after temple... went to malate with koji to meet up couzin gregory and eds and carlos... to be honest... it was 2am... i sat on the pavement... listened to mushy songs over "the trusty iPod" and simply bedazzled by the thought that i really am capable of loving... >>>" my dear friends... what you say and what you always tell me isnt true... i am capable of loving. "<<< people always tell me... rain? love? they dont mix.... rain and fcuk mixes pretty well... but love? its not a word he knows... and he never uses it... hayyy... but then i am still human... ive got feelings... and i do fall in love... sometimes... well, i was just sittin there... after a while... i didnt know why but it was already 5am... and yeah, my friend carlos got drunk as always... and as usual... he won an award... "scene-stealer of the night" going all blabbish in the street... acting as if he's the typical drunkard along the road you see everyday... geesh... alchoholikz... hayyy...
when i got home... washed my face... brushed my teeth... changed clothes... went to my room... starred at the ceiling... thinking if "he" loved me? if "he" loves me? or just thinking bout him... i think i really do love him... i know i love him... but then... its hard... so i just stupidly wore my bonnet... and slept the pain away... wishing that when i wake up... it would be a happy day...
when i woke up... just a while ago... around 1:00pm... i reieved a text message from a friend asking me to go online... and so i did... to find out that he sent me a message about love... here it goes...
---rain, i know i havent been that good to you... i know i havent been very nice to you... its been a while... i know you moved on a long time ago... i just have to tell you, i miss you. it was a stupid mistake to fool around when we were together. am very sorry, i was quite insensitive that time, i just love myself too much before. and i just want to tell you how sorry i am. i hope that in time, when you find that one person you'll love again, dont be the same way you were to me, love yourself more than you love the guy. i miss you cuddlepop... i'll be back in manila by your birthday, i hope we could meet up by then. kisses, gelo---
well, its actually my ex's message to me... sad nuh? ay ewan... right now... am so hungry... walang food coz they went out to eat... its father's day and its my mom's birthday too... but then they didnt wanna wake me up coz they know am going thru this stupid phase... i hate it... i cant let go... i know it was that fast... a week of loving... and 4 days of letting go now... but i still cant... i think the equation for letting go is >>> time before you let go = time being together + happy moments + 2x the sad moments *multiply to three... i think so... hmmm... so if thats the way it is... then 1 week plus 2 weeks plus sad moments... hmmm 4 days... multiply it by 2 then its 8... so 7+14+8X3=87. so i think it means i'll be over over over him in 87 days... hmmm... its fucking long ha... well, ah ewan... thinking about these stuff makes me wanna cry with the rain and eat tons of ice cream... =( bitter... sooo bitter...
i love him... =( i think i do...
i know so...
well, last night... i went to glorietta and greenbelt with a couple of friends... i went out with my budding gay neighbur koji hus 16 years old and is very "malandi"... we went to startbucks g4... saw a couple of friends... matt and jakester who recently graduated!!! congrats sweetie... =) saw niconico as always... after a lot of whining about the icky manila weather... had to rush to greenbelt to meet kirby and heidz... my ever favorite models... and yeah aedrian and his new toy was there... as always... hayyy....
the whole night i kept on thinking bout him... kept on telling myself i miss him... but then i dont know... it fuckin hurts... =( am confused... hayyy...
my friends keep tellin me i look such a stupid bitch... i know right? i look pathetiq and all that right? but who fucking cares?!?!?! i dont care what people are gunna say about me... am happy... =( oh fuck... am crying again... how sad could a bitch like me possibly get? i hope this is it... i hope this is the verge of being frucked up... oh whatever...
after temple... went to malate with koji to meet up couzin gregory and eds and carlos... to be honest... it was 2am... i sat on the pavement... listened to mushy songs over "the trusty iPod" and simply bedazzled by the thought that i really am capable of loving... >>>" my dear friends... what you say and what you always tell me isnt true... i am capable of loving. "<<< people always tell me... rain? love? they dont mix.... rain and fcuk mixes pretty well... but love? its not a word he knows... and he never uses it... hayyy... but then i am still human... ive got feelings... and i do fall in love... sometimes... well, i was just sittin there... after a while... i didnt know why but it was already 5am... and yeah, my friend carlos got drunk as always... and as usual... he won an award... "scene-stealer of the night" going all blabbish in the street... acting as if he's the typical drunkard along the road you see everyday... geesh... alchoholikz... hayyy...
when i got home... washed my face... brushed my teeth... changed clothes... went to my room... starred at the ceiling... thinking if "he" loved me? if "he" loves me? or just thinking bout him... i think i really do love him... i know i love him... but then... its hard... so i just stupidly wore my bonnet... and slept the pain away... wishing that when i wake up... it would be a happy day...
when i woke up... just a while ago... around 1:00pm... i reieved a text message from a friend asking me to go online... and so i did... to find out that he sent me a message about love... here it goes...
---rain, i know i havent been that good to you... i know i havent been very nice to you... its been a while... i know you moved on a long time ago... i just have to tell you, i miss you. it was a stupid mistake to fool around when we were together. am very sorry, i was quite insensitive that time, i just love myself too much before. and i just want to tell you how sorry i am. i hope that in time, when you find that one person you'll love again, dont be the same way you were to me, love yourself more than you love the guy. i miss you cuddlepop... i'll be back in manila by your birthday, i hope we could meet up by then. kisses, gelo---
well, its actually my ex's message to me... sad nuh? ay ewan... right now... am so hungry... walang food coz they went out to eat... its father's day and its my mom's birthday too... but then they didnt wanna wake me up coz they know am going thru this stupid phase... i hate it... i cant let go... i know it was that fast... a week of loving... and 4 days of letting go now... but i still cant... i think the equation for letting go is >>> time before you let go = time being together + happy moments + 2x the sad moments *multiply to three... i think so... hmmm... so if thats the way it is... then 1 week plus 2 weeks plus sad moments... hmmm 4 days... multiply it by 2 then its 8... so 7+14+8X3=87. so i think it means i'll be over over over him in 87 days... hmmm... its fucking long ha... well, ah ewan... thinking about these stuff makes me wanna cry with the rain and eat tons of ice cream... =( bitter... sooo bitter...
i love him... =( i think i do...
i know so...