(no subject)
Well the car is now fixed. It was relatively painless and now I don't wince everytime I have to drive somewhere. I'm actually finding it liberating in it's own way.
I suspect I may be going through some kind of low grade depression. I am procrastinating like a champ these days. There's a growing list of things I need to do and I don't seem to be able to lift a finger to accomplish a single one of them. Last night I went for dinner with a friend. I got home and planted my butt in front of the TV. L called, as I was determined not to call him. We talked for about an hour, and it seemed to go alright. There even seemed to be a general assumption of continuity but the good-bye at the end was very awkward and in the end almost amounted to a hasty hang-up. So the limbo continues.
I am of 2 minds on how to handle it. Part of me wants to simply invite myself over to his place tonight and hash it out - one way or another - though I suspect I know the "way". Another part wants to run some kind of social experiment. I have found that most men are afraid to break up with me for whatever reason. The MO of most guys seems to be either ignore you until you dump them, or treat you like crap until you dump them. For all their lauded courage and strength, my experience is that most men lack the internal fortitude to tell a girl when it's over. Instead they prefer to "force" her to dump them. Well I'm more than a little sick of making it easy on them, and I'm very tempted to just sit back and see what happens. Not phone him, not make an effort to get together and see how long it takes for him to quietly fade from my life. On the other hand, if he's feeling slighted by me, this would only serve to reinforce for him that I'm not longer interested. Argghhh. This leaves me with the "force the discussion" option doesn't it. Blech!! Oh well, the sooner done, the sooner I can start my recovery.
I stayed up late last night playing Civ IV, warlords. I guess I am heavy into the escapeism already. I got sick of wathcing tv and was deciding between reading a book and playing computer. Clearly computer won, but both represent escapeism for me. Alright, that tears it, slightly depressed. When you wish to escape the life you've made for yourself, albeit temporarily, that's depressed.
This weekend is my work retreat. It's usually a really great weekend, and I'm really looking forward to the SPA and massage on Saturday. Oh and outlet shopping!!! WooHOO!! I hope this cheers me up, or at least makes escape seem less appealing.
I suspect I may be going through some kind of low grade depression. I am procrastinating like a champ these days. There's a growing list of things I need to do and I don't seem to be able to lift a finger to accomplish a single one of them. Last night I went for dinner with a friend. I got home and planted my butt in front of the TV. L called, as I was determined not to call him. We talked for about an hour, and it seemed to go alright. There even seemed to be a general assumption of continuity but the good-bye at the end was very awkward and in the end almost amounted to a hasty hang-up. So the limbo continues.
I am of 2 minds on how to handle it. Part of me wants to simply invite myself over to his place tonight and hash it out - one way or another - though I suspect I know the "way". Another part wants to run some kind of social experiment. I have found that most men are afraid to break up with me for whatever reason. The MO of most guys seems to be either ignore you until you dump them, or treat you like crap until you dump them. For all their lauded courage and strength, my experience is that most men lack the internal fortitude to tell a girl when it's over. Instead they prefer to "force" her to dump them. Well I'm more than a little sick of making it easy on them, and I'm very tempted to just sit back and see what happens. Not phone him, not make an effort to get together and see how long it takes for him to quietly fade from my life. On the other hand, if he's feeling slighted by me, this would only serve to reinforce for him that I'm not longer interested. Argghhh. This leaves me with the "force the discussion" option doesn't it. Blech!! Oh well, the sooner done, the sooner I can start my recovery.
I stayed up late last night playing Civ IV, warlords. I guess I am heavy into the escapeism already. I got sick of wathcing tv and was deciding between reading a book and playing computer. Clearly computer won, but both represent escapeism for me. Alright, that tears it, slightly depressed. When you wish to escape the life you've made for yourself, albeit temporarily, that's depressed.
This weekend is my work retreat. It's usually a really great weekend, and I'm really looking forward to the SPA and massage on Saturday. Oh and outlet shopping!!! WooHOO!! I hope this cheers me up, or at least makes escape seem less appealing.