To Allah we would return..
Today, one of the dearest friends of mine faced the very same test that I had at around 8 years back..
We lost the person we love..
Just when I thought I already got over it, I was wrong..
The flashbacks of the day replayed again and again on my mind throughout the way to her place..
As if it happened just yesterday..
How I was chatting with my good friend,
Then my mum told me that my father couldn't take the pain anymore, so we had to go to the nearest private hospital..
Right after we arrived, my father brought to one of the rooms on the first floor on a wheel chair..
We joked here and there while he reminded us to recharge his phone's battery, in case his staffs need him when he was there..
We waited for the heart specialist, and he was strolled into the ICU right away..
And it was just 5 minutes since we were there..
After the doctor arrived, we saw that he came out, nurses went back and forth, and soon after another doctor went in..
My mother asked my brother to go back home and fetch our grandparents here..
5 minutes later, both of the doctors came out..
And after they "scolded" us why wouldn't we bring him here sooner, I still could remember that one line that hurts me even until today..
"I don't think we could save him"
Few minutes after, they called my mother to go in..
Then I heard my mother's scream..
And that moment I knew, that my strongest pillar had left us..
I still remember that I was acting strong and tough,
Because I knew that's what my father wanted for me..
And until now, i'm trying my very best to take of my mother the way he did..
Go to work together, then entertain her as much as I could..
And the most important thing that my father told me,
"Balance your dunya and your akhirah..
And may we all meet again in Jannah biidhnillah."
They said time would heal,
But boy, how they are so wrong..
It has been 8 years last 6th of September,
And I still could feel the pain..
And I still could feel his existence here around me..
As if he's monitoring us every step we take..
The only thing that i ever regret is..
I forgot what was the last line he said to me..
And what last good deed I did to him..
While the way I treated him with a long face in the evening still eating me to death..
But I could still remember the last edition of Galaxie magazine he bought for me, because..
"You said this magazine improves your English, right?"
And that magazine is still laid in my room..
Becomes a thing that I treasure the most..
Despite of all, one thing for sure..
I'm trying my best..
To meet my father again in Jannah insyaAllah..