sick of chasing
Do you wanna know what I hate hearing the most?
"Your intimidating"
"Your way too good for me"
I don't understand. I started thinking last night, about the crushes I've had and such. And I realized something. I'm always doing the chasing. I'm never being chased. I've talked to someone about this before and they gave me the oh-so common response. "Oh, well you're real intimidating." NO IM NOT. I'm normal. Right?
I wonder if I'm ever being chased and don't notice it. I think I would notice it, though. And, something else that's bad? I LIVE FOR THE CHASE.... I know that sounds contradictory....but, I do. I chase and I chase and I chase....and then as soon as I have the guy...he's not that interesting anymore. And then I don't like him. Filthy has been the only real boyfriend I've had since I've been here. And with him, I never lost the way I felt about him from the first time I saw him. Sure, he drove me fucking nuts, sometimes... but it didn't end because I lost interest.
I wonder if it starts to freak out guys that I have kids. In the beginning they're always like... yeah, that's awesome that you have kids...blah blah blah. It always ends though. I dont know what I do wrong. Filthy said the other day that I was clingy. Maybe that's why. But...now that I think of it? I wasn't clingy with filthy....Maybe I was on the days that I saw him, but that's because I would hardly see him. I don't know. It's too early to think this hard.
"Your intimidating"
"Your way too good for me"
I don't understand. I started thinking last night, about the crushes I've had and such. And I realized something. I'm always doing the chasing. I'm never being chased. I've talked to someone about this before and they gave me the oh-so common response. "Oh, well you're real intimidating." NO IM NOT. I'm normal. Right?
I wonder if I'm ever being chased and don't notice it. I think I would notice it, though. And, something else that's bad? I LIVE FOR THE CHASE.... I know that sounds contradictory....but, I do. I chase and I chase and I chase....and then as soon as I have the guy...he's not that interesting anymore. And then I don't like him. Filthy has been the only real boyfriend I've had since I've been here. And with him, I never lost the way I felt about him from the first time I saw him. Sure, he drove me fucking nuts, sometimes... but it didn't end because I lost interest.
I wonder if it starts to freak out guys that I have kids. In the beginning they're always like... yeah, that's awesome that you have kids...blah blah blah. It always ends though. I dont know what I do wrong. Filthy said the other day that I was clingy. Maybe that's why. But...now that I think of it? I wasn't clingy with filthy....Maybe I was on the days that I saw him, but that's because I would hardly see him. I don't know. It's too early to think this hard.