[Fanfic] a created heart [11 / 12]
Title: a created heart
Pairing: Yama, matsumiya (if you squeeze enough)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fantasy, au, angts (kind of) magic, romance
Chaptered
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own anything about Arashi. Only the plot is mine.
Summary: Is a monster with a created mind and heart was allowed to love a human? The monster knew it was impossible however the first moment he saw Sakurai Sho in that forest, he had no other choice to fall for his beautiful eyes.
As for Sho; his first encounter with him was a pure coincidence and falling for him was beyond his control.
A/N: Comments are very very welcomed! English is not my native language so I apologize for my mistakes in advance! I am deeply sorry! m(_ _)m
The Witch was all alone… She was alone for as long as she knew herself. She never knew a world where she wasn’t alone. It was painful. Everything had a companion, everything was somehow accepted by something. The honeybees that kiss the flowers had a place to return to, that one-legged baby bird also found a place in this world even though it was unable to move.
She had a wooden hut, hidden deep inside the sacred forest. She would watch the night sky through the dusty glasses with a tear-stained face, wondering if one day she could have somewhere, someone that would accept her.
At first, she tried to give presents to the mankind. She wanted to share some of her magical blood and make the world a better place. Magicians were born from her wish, like that. She could never imagine that her gifts would be considered as curses. Never once, she saw someone looking at her without fear in their eyes. Never once, she was considered as a lonely person who just wanted to be accepted. Never once, she felt like she actually belonged this world.
She cried. She wanted to die. She tried to run. However, no matter how much she tried or she wanted, this magic running through her veins never disappeared. It only became stronger and stronger whenever she tried to get rid of it.
In the end, she decided to hate humans. With that, she wouldn’t feel that hurt from being hated by them. Hating them was easier than hating herself. It was way easier to curse them than trying to help them. She decided that they weren’t worth her gifts and she created a garden for herself, away from humans because the forest was the only thing that never refused her. The forest was old, strong, forgiving and kind. It never hated The Witch like everyone in the world did. But she was still lonely. She still sought someone’s presence which was obviously impossible for her to have, making her decide to create a monster.
A monster would be nice, she decided. A monster wasn’t a human and it wouldn’t refuse her. A monster was what she wanted, what she needed for this whole time.
It was easy for her to create a monster, with a human appearance. A monster which looked exactly like what she was seeking but exactly the opposite of what she feared. A monster which was able to understand her, obey her, protect her, make her happy and a monster without any human feelings.
It was cruel, she knew it. But the world was more cruel towards her than she was towards the nameless monster. She gave a life to it after all, what could it ask more? She made him exactly how she wanted. Strong, fast, immortal, merciless, hateful… But some of them didn’t work as she planned.
The monster was strong, fast and immortal… But nothing like the merciless and hateful being that The Witch has desired. She started to hate the monster. Why was it not behaving like she always wanted? The monster started to develop feelings just like humans slowly but surely. It was lonely. It hoped for a name. However, it never hated anything. It never hated humans. It never hated The Witch. Not even when she ordered him to hate. The monster was kind, accepting, strong and somehow full of love.
That was the first time The Witch realized what actually went wrong with her spell that created the monster. The monster was formed with everything that she actually yearned for. The monster, which was kind, accepting and lonely also hoped a name just like The Witch. Then The Witch realized how cruel she actually was. She was just as selfish and as hateful the other humans. She was just as cruel to create an immortal being, which would only suffer for an eternity even after she left. The Witch had a terminated life with a certain ending but she was so cruel that she also took that ending from the monster.
She searched for a way to break her spell but nothing worked like she wanted. The only way she found was close to impossible, maybe more than impossible itself. The monster could only turn into a human when his created heart was filled with the feelings that were never meant to be inside him. And only when he loves someone, and loved back by that someone the curse she put on him would disappear.
The Witch wanted to laugh. No one would love a monster created by her, just like no one loved The Witch. But this was the best thing she could find and she had to trust that the monster would find someone who would love him as well as his created heart.
In the end, The Witch passed away. Without being loved by anyone, all alone, full of hate towards the mankind and herself. She died in silence, with only the monster by her side, unable to tell him about the solution she had found. The last thought she had was what a hideous but still beautiful that world was.
She would never know that many centuries after her death, the monster would meet a young boy in the same forest that she lived and would fall in love with him. She would never be able to know that would be the first time that the monster would feel the love deep inside his fragile created heart. The love she wanted to experience but never managed in her whole life… The love which was actually the key to everything.
***
Sho had no idea when he fell asleep, with a fear that Satoshi won’t be there when he woke up but apparently, he managed to fall asleep at some point inside Satoshi’s arms. When his senses slowly but surely came back to him, he snapped from his sleep and looked around only to see that Satoshi was still there, his arms still around him.
Satoshi smiled to him, seemingly aware of Sho’s fears, he brushed Sho’s cheek with his one hand. The touch was feather-like and without thinking, Sho leaned into his touch. “Good morning,” Satoshi murmured. His voice felt like a silk on his skin. It was so tender, so full of love, almost making Sho tear up. The dawn was still ahead of them and everywhere was pitch-black but Sho was able to distinguish every part of his face. He looked deeply into his eyes before backing a little.
Sho chuckled. “You have leaves in your hair,” he pointed out cheerfully.
Satoshi blinked a few times, before reaching to his hair, trying to untangle the leaves but of course failing on the task. Sho stopped him, carefully taking the leaves away from his hair and smiling proudly when he finished. “Better,” he approved.
“Thanks,” Satoshi said with a small smile. They stayed silent for a while, just looking at each other, somehow lost with the words. Sho wanted to ask a lot of questions and Satoshi wanted to tell a lot of things to him but both of them were afraid that it would be their last talk and none of them wanted to stain the moment with a farewell. Yet both of them were aware that they need to stand up and walk towards the future. A future that hopefully contained both of them, together.
“So… now what?” Sho dared to ask after some minutes of silence.
Satoshi averted his gaze from Sho. He didn’t know either. He only knew one thing that Nino’s words made sense to him. The Witch was who created him in the first place, so wouldn’t she be able to lift this curse? “I have lived enough,” Satoshi started. Sho wanted to protest but before he could say anything, Satoshi continued. “I have seen enough of the eternity and I only want to see a life with you.”
Sho bit his lips. “But…”
“But,” Satoshi chuckled. “The Witch probably won’t let me.”
“Satoshi…”
“No!” Satoshi cut him fiercely. “I don’t want to continue living even after you die,” he stated firmly. “I can’t. I don’t want to see how this world would be without you… I don’t want to suffer from your loss… I’m not that strong,” his voice trembled and Sho felt the tears burning his eyes. He understood Satoshi’s feelings so well. So, so well that it made his heart beat in his chest painfully. He just couldn’t imagine a world without Satoshi in it, he didn’t want to imagine it. He just wanted to stay by his side. He just wanted to stay by Satoshi’s side, who looked rather sleepy all the time, who cared for flowers, who cuddled with him on the sofa not even caring the back pain, who simply made Sho happy from the bottom of his heart.
“I can’t lose you,” Sho managed to say with a rather weak voice.
“I can’t lose you either,” Satoshi said. Sho could feel his own fears mixed with Satoshi’s ones growing stronger. “But in any case,” Satoshi started, stabbing Sho’s heart with the possibility of losing him, “if I can’t come back,” Sho closed his eyes, not wanting to hear more, “always remember that I love you,” Sho took a painful deep breath.
“I always loved you, Sho,” Satoshi smiled, caressing his cheeks, forcing him to look at his eyes. “I have always loved you, from the moment that I saw you. Maybe even before that. Just remember that. Don’t forget me,” he said before kissing Sho’s lips.
“Forget-me-not,” Sho blurted out when they parted. “That was the name of the flower you left in front of my door,” he said. “Why?”
Satoshi chuckled, slightly embarrassed by his actions. “I still haven’t told you that, right?” He said circling his arms around Sho and snuggling into his chest. “In a legend,” Satoshi started calmly, “when the Creator thought he had finished giving the flowers their colors, he heard one whisper "Forget me not!" There was nothing left but a very small amount of blue, but the forget-me-not was delighted to wear such a light blue shade.” Sho frowned and waited for Satoshi to continue. “Those flowers were forgotten. Just like me. My creator also forgot me, and left me behind just like that.”
“I won’t forget you,” Sho said, tightening his arms around Satoshi’s body. “I will never forget you.”
Satoshi chuckled. “Thank you, Sho-kun.” Satoshi inhaled deeply. “You should go back to Jun. He would protect you from everything.”
Sho didn't want to hear more of that. “I love you,” he blurted out again in order to stop Satoshi from going. It felt like he was running out of time and he had tons of words to say. He had tons of love that he needed to convey. He had tons of things that he wanted to experience with Satoshi, unfortunately without enough time. “I love you, Satoshi-kun. I love you. I love you,” he said almost hysterically, refusing to let Satoshi go. “I don’t have enough time to say this to you,” Sho sobbed. “Don’t go, Satoshi,” he begged.
Satoshi slid out of Sho’s arms and looked at him. “I will come back,” he promised. It sounded so fleeting, so fragile to Sho’s ears. “Believe me, Sho-kun,” Satoshi insisted, holding Sho’s hands strongly.
“Satoshi-kun…” Sho whispered, he wanted to forbid him from going but seeing the determination in Satoshi’s eyes, he felt powerless.
“I love you, Sho-kun, and no matter what, I will continue loving you,” even if I die today, he didn’t say that but Sho was aware that.
They kissed one more time, tenderly and full of love. A kiss for the never said goodbye, to ensure the insecurities and a promise for coming back, which was ambiguous. Sho clutched Satoshi’s hands as if his life was depended on it, and in a sense, it was. But he couldn’t stop Satoshi’s hands leaving his, and him disappearing in the depths of the forest once again like he did many times.
Sho looked after Satoshi with a tear-stained face, his heart beating painfully in his chest, sad and afraid. “No…” he whispered. “Satoshi!” he called after him, clumsily jumped up to catch him. Of course, Satoshi was long gone with that speed and Sho only thought how things could go wrong.
Sho started to run, not really knowing where to but hoping that his steps would somehow lead him to The Witch’s garden, with only one thought in his mind: I won’t let you take him away.
***
Jun cursed himself for being this stupid when he realized Sho was gone. How could he not notice when he was at the next door, completely awake?!
“Stop beating yourself up,” suddenly Nino cut off his train of thoughts.
“Nino…” he started but Nino stopped him.
“There's nothing you could do anyways,” he said calmly looking through the window.
“You can't know that,” Jun said painfully.
“I know,” Nino said. “But you also know that we couldn't prevent anything, until now. Either the fire or the injuries of Satoshi. Also, we couldn't stop him and you know that you can't find him even if you searched for,” Nino sighed.
“But still-”
“It's something beyond our control,” Nino said with a serious voice. Then suddenly he chuckled. “I can't believe that I'm accompanying a wizard to find an immortal monster and a furious crazy witch.”
“You don't have to, you know,” Jun said hesitantly.
“And miss the biggest action in my life? No thanks,” he laughed.
“You're weird,” Jun commented with a slight smile.
Nino rolled his eyes. “You know, you have serious issues with compliments.”
Jun laughed. “I will work hard then,” he said checking Nino with the corner of his eye.
“You better be, I'm the judge after all,” Nino said with a serious face but the crinkled in the corner of his lips were betraying him.
Jun let out a laugh. “Thanks, Nino, I already feel better.” Then suddenly Jun's phone started to ring. Jun reached for his phone, holding the wheel with his one hand. He frowned when he saw the callers ID.
“Aiba-san? Wait, what? Um… That's…” Jun answered confused by the speech. Nino was somehow trying his best not to laugh. “Oh… Okay? I guess… No, I mean, how? Nino?” Jun threw a weird glance at Nino. “Uh… Thanks, I guess? Okay, okay, I get it. We will have a party next Friday,” Jun said and then he mounted Nino a very confused, “I really can’t follow this conversation…” with that, Nino started to laugh out loud, “Ah! No, nothing! Okay, thanks again!” Jun continued and finally, he stuffed the phone into his pocket again.
“Care to explain to me how Aiba knows that I’m a wizard?” Jun asked with narrowed eyes.
“Well… I told him?” Nino said, trying his best to look innocent.
“It was supposed to be a secret!!” Jun groaned.
“You can’t blame me! He came confronting me!” Nino protested.
“What?”
“He heard us talking on the rooftop that night!” Nino said with a pout. “And he is Aiba! He said he always knew something was different about you.”
“Oh… That’s… Um…” Jun stuttered. “I’m sorry,” he added with an apologetic smile.
“Well, it was so unfortunate that I couldn’t keep you as my personal portable charger but Aiba deserves to know too,” Nino mumbled.
Jun chuckled. “I won’t charge Aiba’s phone too.”
“But will you keep charging me?”
“Well, I guess I have to. I’m your personal portable charger after all,” Jun said trying to sound normal.
Nino cackled. “Sho-chan will tease us really hard.”
“You can tease him about Satoshi too,” Jun noted.
“You’re right. I definitely will!”
Nino smiled as his eyes met with Jun. Both of them refused to think about the next day, where Satoshi might not be with them anymore.
***
He looked around himself for a moment before he actually turned to look at the garden, only to see how destroyed it was. It was nothing like Satoshi knew or remembered. The garden was a beautiful place even though the curse that was covering it. But now, the garden only looked wild, scary and pretty much abandoned.
The Witch was there. Not physically but her soul was there. Satoshi could feel her presence, her agony even before going into the garden. He smiled sadly. He was the cause of her agony, he was perfectly aware of that and yet he didn't have any intention to back off. It was interesting how her monster turned into something horrible that can actually hurt her. But still, Satoshi didn't have any regrets at that moment, standing in front of her. Because he wasn't her monster anymore. Because he wasn't a monster anymore. He was just a poor soul, cursed by her. Yet, he couldn't hate her because it was all thanks to her. Thanks to that she gave an eternal life to the monster, he managed to become Satoshi. He managed to find Sho, and fall in love with him.
“It has been a while,” Satoshi murmured when he finally stepped into the garden. A wild, cold wind hit his face strongly, making him stumble a step back. “I am not sorry,” Satoshi said, a bit louder than before. “I want you to turn me into a human,” he said loudly.
The wind roared again, forming words that hung in the air. "You can’t become a human."
“Why?” Satoshi asked.
“You are just a monster with a created heart and mind,” The Witch answered mercilessly.
Satoshi lowered his head before speaking, “But I still feel.”
“You’re not meant to feel,” The Witch said coldly. “You can’t feel anything.”
“You’re wrong!” Satoshi looked up to see the shadowy silhouette in front of him. “You’re the one who created this heart,” Satoshi said as he put his hand in front of his beating heart.
“You only have to feel hate. You can’t love a human,” The Witch said not affected by Satoshi.
“You’re wrong… I don’t hate anything,” Satoshi murmured.
“You hate me,” The Witch spoke almost mockingly. “You hate me for creating you. You hate me for making you immortal. You hate me for everything.”
“I don’t… I don’t hate you,” Satoshi looked at The Witch. “How can I? You created me, gave me a life to live, a chance to meet Sho, a heart to love him,” Satoshi said truthfully.
The Witch only laughed. It was a ruthless sound that made Satoshi’s ears hurt. “And apparently I should take that heart away from you… And those memories…” The Witch said, looking straight into the monster’s eyes. “You were behaving strangely because of that heart,” her eyes glowed with a red light. “It’s for your own good, my monster,” she held out her hand, ready to cast her spell.
“No!” Satoshi yelled with fear, tears in his eyes. “Please, don’t take it away from me,” he begged. “I can’t forget him, you can’t take him away from me!” he begged and begged because living an eternity with no recollection of Sho’s memories, was worse than his worst dreams. “I’m willing to accept anything, but just don’t take this away from me!”
“Are you willing to die then?” The Witch asked belittling the monster’s words.
“I am,” Satoshi said truthfully. “I am willing to die if you want me. I would be still happy to met Sho.”
“Then die,” The Witch said, annoyed and disgusted by the monster. Satoshi held his breath and gulped. So this is it, he thought sadly. I’m sorry Sho-kun, it looks like I can’t keep my promise.
The Witch’s eyes glowed with crimson light, her fingers bend into her palm and Satoshi felt her cold, frightening, forceful yet very familiar magic stabbing through his body, choking him and sucking the tiniest life from him. Satoshi fell forward, first onto his knees, then he felt the cold ground against his face. His heart which was beating for centuries now was beating it’s last few moments. Satoshi almost couldn’t believe that this is the end of everything for him. Satoshi almost couldn’t believe that there won’t be a next morning, which he would wake up to see Sho’s face. Satoshi almost couldn’t believe that he had to leave Sho, that he can’t keep his promise, that he would end up making him cry more.
His tears started to stream down from his face, meeting with the ground. Knowing that he would never be able to see Sho hurt more than The Witch’s magic, which was ripping the life out of his powerless body. Then suddenly everything disappeared. The pain, the fear, the sadness. Someone or something, lift his almost lifeless body from the ground, turned his face up to the sky and Satoshi saw the beautiful rays of the sunlight maybe for the last time in his long life. Then he saw Sho’s face. Maybe this was how the God was welcoming him to death even though he doubted that the God would accept him… “Sho-kun…” he managed to whisper. “I love you, Sho-kun.”
Those were the last words that left Satoshi’s lips. And then, the monster closed his eyes, knowing that there won’t be a waking up again.
***
Sho felt like his own heart stopped beating when he saw Satoshi writhe in pain. He heard them before seeing.
“Are you willing to die then?” he heard an annoyed female voice, making his steps go faster.
Then he heard Satoshi’s voice saying, “I am. I am willing to die if you want me. I would be still happy to met Sho.”
No, no, no, Sho thought hysterically as he ran towards the voices. He dashed towards the garden, which was actually not a garden anymore but Sho didn’t have any time to examine what’s around him at that moment. He saw a shadowy figure, assuming that it must be The Witch who created Satoshi. She was tall, with long black hair surging in the thin air, angrily. She was glowing with red light giving her an unapproachable aura.
“Then die,” The Witch said, sounding annoyed, disgusted and somehow sad. She bent her fingers and Satoshi fell to his knees, he struggled for a second before falling to his knees.
Sho ran forward without thinking, as he called his name. “Satoshi!” His voice echoed through the forest as he ran Satoshi’s side, holding him and turning him around. Sho’s hands were trembling as he couldn’t think of anything. What to do? What to do? Ambulance? But they were too far from any hospitals, it would never make it on time, Sho thought hysterically. “Satoshi… Satoshi…” He continued to call his name, not knowing that he was crying and his tears mixing with Satoshi’s.
Then Satoshi looked at him. Somehow it was like a miracle and he whispered “Sho-kun…” he whispered with difficulty. “I love you, Sho-kun,” and closed his eyes.
A smile was adorning his face, and Sho felt his own heart stopping with Satoshi’s. “No, no, no…” Sho whispered, touching Satoshi’s soft and still warm cheeks. “You can’t die!” Sho said loudly. “You promised me!” He cried on the top of Satoshi’s chest.
“You can’t take him!” Sho said all of a sudden as he turned his face towards The Witch. “You just can’t…” He cried. “Please… Don’t take him…” he begged.
However, it was futile. The Witch didn’t show any mercy towards him. “Why?” She asked. Her voice was colder than anything Sho had know.
“Because I love him!” He said. His feelings were as raw as it could probably become.
“He is a monster,” The Witch said. “He is just a marionette created by me.”
“Even so, I love him,” Sho cut her. “It doesn’t matter if he is created by you or he has a created heart. It doesn’t matter!” Sho stood up, taking a few steps towards The Witch. “He is not a monster… You’re the one who created him because you didn’t want to be alone. There wasn’t a way for you to create a hateful monster from the start! You only wanted to be accepted by someone, and that’s why Satoshi bears all those feelings…” Sho said stubbornly.
A silence covered the forest as The Witch didn’t answer. Suddenly, rays of the sun started to brighten the garden, in a magical way. The furious red light around The Witch disappeared and suddenly, Satoshi was enveloped in a soft blue light. Sho looked at him with disbelief reflecting through his eyes.
“It was love, after all,” Sho heard The Witch’s voice one last time before she disappeared from this world completely.
The Witch was finally gone.
***
Satoshi felt weird when the light behind his eyelids started to hurt. It was… weird. He couldn’t find any other words to describe this feeling. It was like waking up but he was dead. Could deads even wake up? Apparently, he could or he wasn’t dead because his eyes opened without showing any restraint.
He saw the blue sky, lighten up with the morning sun and his eyes met with another pair of deep, brown eyes which he loved so much. “Sho-kun?” He voiced his name, which sounded pretty much normal. It didn’t feel like he was dead at all.
Then Sho started to cry as he threw his arms around Satoshi, embracing him strongly. Satoshi blinked once, twice before his brain accepting that he wasn’t dead. He wrapped his arms around Sho, holding him strongly. He inhaled Sho’s scent which he thought he would never be able to again, deeply. “Sho-kun!” He said, not caring his tears wetting Sho’s clothes.
“Satoshi-kun!” Sho sobbed. “You’re an idiot!” He said. His voice was mixed with anger and relief.
Satoshi chuckled between his cries. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But thank you for bringing me back, Sho-kun.”
Sho only clutched more to his body as an answer. There was a promise that they felt on their skin which wasn’t spoken but exchanged by both of them.
I will never let you go.
I will never ever let you go.
***
"It looks like we were too late," Jun said with a relieved chuckle as he watched Sho and Satoshi clutching each other.
"Or just on time," Nino commented with a big grin.
"Yeah, you're right," Jun nodded. "Let's take them to home."
"Aww," Nino cooed before Jun can move. "Don't worry J, you're still my favorite wizard even though you couldn't do anything this time," Nino said with a snicker.
"Ugh, you would never let me get away, won't you?" Jun grumbled and started walking towards the now very happy couple.
~
A/N: So everyone who is still reading this... first of all, apologies! Real life... Well, lots of things happened but here we are. Basically, this is the last chapter. But there will be an epilogue with Happiness as theme. Because as you see, it was pretty much angst and to be honest, my heart is hurting after writing this chapter. I wasn't really expecting things will turn out this angsty and originally I planned this to be the ending but yeah, I personally need an epilogue with lots of fluff haha
Again, so sorry for the delay but somehow I managed to finish this fic!
Let's meet again for one last time at the epilogue!!
And!! If you're reading this, please let me hear your thoughts about the fic, I would be really really happy for any comments even the shortest ones! <3
Lots of love from Yukina~
Pairing: Yama, matsumiya (if you squeeze enough)
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fantasy, au, angts (kind of) magic, romance
Chaptered
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own anything about Arashi. Only the plot is mine.
Summary: Is a monster with a created mind and heart was allowed to love a human? The monster knew it was impossible however the first moment he saw Sakurai Sho in that forest, he had no other choice to fall for his beautiful eyes.
As for Sho; his first encounter with him was a pure coincidence and falling for him was beyond his control.
A/N: Comments are very very welcomed! English is not my native language so I apologize for my mistakes in advance! I am deeply sorry! m(_ _)m
The Witch was all alone… She was alone for as long as she knew herself. She never knew a world where she wasn’t alone. It was painful. Everything had a companion, everything was somehow accepted by something. The honeybees that kiss the flowers had a place to return to, that one-legged baby bird also found a place in this world even though it was unable to move.
She had a wooden hut, hidden deep inside the sacred forest. She would watch the night sky through the dusty glasses with a tear-stained face, wondering if one day she could have somewhere, someone that would accept her.
At first, she tried to give presents to the mankind. She wanted to share some of her magical blood and make the world a better place. Magicians were born from her wish, like that. She could never imagine that her gifts would be considered as curses. Never once, she saw someone looking at her without fear in their eyes. Never once, she was considered as a lonely person who just wanted to be accepted. Never once, she felt like she actually belonged this world.
She cried. She wanted to die. She tried to run. However, no matter how much she tried or she wanted, this magic running through her veins never disappeared. It only became stronger and stronger whenever she tried to get rid of it.
In the end, she decided to hate humans. With that, she wouldn’t feel that hurt from being hated by them. Hating them was easier than hating herself. It was way easier to curse them than trying to help them. She decided that they weren’t worth her gifts and she created a garden for herself, away from humans because the forest was the only thing that never refused her. The forest was old, strong, forgiving and kind. It never hated The Witch like everyone in the world did. But she was still lonely. She still sought someone’s presence which was obviously impossible for her to have, making her decide to create a monster.
A monster would be nice, she decided. A monster wasn’t a human and it wouldn’t refuse her. A monster was what she wanted, what she needed for this whole time.
It was easy for her to create a monster, with a human appearance. A monster which looked exactly like what she was seeking but exactly the opposite of what she feared. A monster which was able to understand her, obey her, protect her, make her happy and a monster without any human feelings.
It was cruel, she knew it. But the world was more cruel towards her than she was towards the nameless monster. She gave a life to it after all, what could it ask more? She made him exactly how she wanted. Strong, fast, immortal, merciless, hateful… But some of them didn’t work as she planned.
The monster was strong, fast and immortal… But nothing like the merciless and hateful being that The Witch has desired. She started to hate the monster. Why was it not behaving like she always wanted? The monster started to develop feelings just like humans slowly but surely. It was lonely. It hoped for a name. However, it never hated anything. It never hated humans. It never hated The Witch. Not even when she ordered him to hate. The monster was kind, accepting, strong and somehow full of love.
That was the first time The Witch realized what actually went wrong with her spell that created the monster. The monster was formed with everything that she actually yearned for. The monster, which was kind, accepting and lonely also hoped a name just like The Witch. Then The Witch realized how cruel she actually was. She was just as selfish and as hateful the other humans. She was just as cruel to create an immortal being, which would only suffer for an eternity even after she left. The Witch had a terminated life with a certain ending but she was so cruel that she also took that ending from the monster.
She searched for a way to break her spell but nothing worked like she wanted. The only way she found was close to impossible, maybe more than impossible itself. The monster could only turn into a human when his created heart was filled with the feelings that were never meant to be inside him. And only when he loves someone, and loved back by that someone the curse she put on him would disappear.
The Witch wanted to laugh. No one would love a monster created by her, just like no one loved The Witch. But this was the best thing she could find and she had to trust that the monster would find someone who would love him as well as his created heart.
In the end, The Witch passed away. Without being loved by anyone, all alone, full of hate towards the mankind and herself. She died in silence, with only the monster by her side, unable to tell him about the solution she had found. The last thought she had was what a hideous but still beautiful that world was.
She would never know that many centuries after her death, the monster would meet a young boy in the same forest that she lived and would fall in love with him. She would never be able to know that would be the first time that the monster would feel the love deep inside his fragile created heart. The love she wanted to experience but never managed in her whole life… The love which was actually the key to everything.
***
Sho had no idea when he fell asleep, with a fear that Satoshi won’t be there when he woke up but apparently, he managed to fall asleep at some point inside Satoshi’s arms. When his senses slowly but surely came back to him, he snapped from his sleep and looked around only to see that Satoshi was still there, his arms still around him.
Satoshi smiled to him, seemingly aware of Sho’s fears, he brushed Sho’s cheek with his one hand. The touch was feather-like and without thinking, Sho leaned into his touch. “Good morning,” Satoshi murmured. His voice felt like a silk on his skin. It was so tender, so full of love, almost making Sho tear up. The dawn was still ahead of them and everywhere was pitch-black but Sho was able to distinguish every part of his face. He looked deeply into his eyes before backing a little.
Sho chuckled. “You have leaves in your hair,” he pointed out cheerfully.
Satoshi blinked a few times, before reaching to his hair, trying to untangle the leaves but of course failing on the task. Sho stopped him, carefully taking the leaves away from his hair and smiling proudly when he finished. “Better,” he approved.
“Thanks,” Satoshi said with a small smile. They stayed silent for a while, just looking at each other, somehow lost with the words. Sho wanted to ask a lot of questions and Satoshi wanted to tell a lot of things to him but both of them were afraid that it would be their last talk and none of them wanted to stain the moment with a farewell. Yet both of them were aware that they need to stand up and walk towards the future. A future that hopefully contained both of them, together.
“So… now what?” Sho dared to ask after some minutes of silence.
Satoshi averted his gaze from Sho. He didn’t know either. He only knew one thing that Nino’s words made sense to him. The Witch was who created him in the first place, so wouldn’t she be able to lift this curse? “I have lived enough,” Satoshi started. Sho wanted to protest but before he could say anything, Satoshi continued. “I have seen enough of the eternity and I only want to see a life with you.”
Sho bit his lips. “But…”
“But,” Satoshi chuckled. “The Witch probably won’t let me.”
“Satoshi…”
“No!” Satoshi cut him fiercely. “I don’t want to continue living even after you die,” he stated firmly. “I can’t. I don’t want to see how this world would be without you… I don’t want to suffer from your loss… I’m not that strong,” his voice trembled and Sho felt the tears burning his eyes. He understood Satoshi’s feelings so well. So, so well that it made his heart beat in his chest painfully. He just couldn’t imagine a world without Satoshi in it, he didn’t want to imagine it. He just wanted to stay by his side. He just wanted to stay by Satoshi’s side, who looked rather sleepy all the time, who cared for flowers, who cuddled with him on the sofa not even caring the back pain, who simply made Sho happy from the bottom of his heart.
“I can’t lose you,” Sho managed to say with a rather weak voice.
“I can’t lose you either,” Satoshi said. Sho could feel his own fears mixed with Satoshi’s ones growing stronger. “But in any case,” Satoshi started, stabbing Sho’s heart with the possibility of losing him, “if I can’t come back,” Sho closed his eyes, not wanting to hear more, “always remember that I love you,” Sho took a painful deep breath.
“I always loved you, Sho,” Satoshi smiled, caressing his cheeks, forcing him to look at his eyes. “I have always loved you, from the moment that I saw you. Maybe even before that. Just remember that. Don’t forget me,” he said before kissing Sho’s lips.
“Forget-me-not,” Sho blurted out when they parted. “That was the name of the flower you left in front of my door,” he said. “Why?”
Satoshi chuckled, slightly embarrassed by his actions. “I still haven’t told you that, right?” He said circling his arms around Sho and snuggling into his chest. “In a legend,” Satoshi started calmly, “when the Creator thought he had finished giving the flowers their colors, he heard one whisper "Forget me not!" There was nothing left but a very small amount of blue, but the forget-me-not was delighted to wear such a light blue shade.” Sho frowned and waited for Satoshi to continue. “Those flowers were forgotten. Just like me. My creator also forgot me, and left me behind just like that.”
“I won’t forget you,” Sho said, tightening his arms around Satoshi’s body. “I will never forget you.”
Satoshi chuckled. “Thank you, Sho-kun.” Satoshi inhaled deeply. “You should go back to Jun. He would protect you from everything.”
Sho didn't want to hear more of that. “I love you,” he blurted out again in order to stop Satoshi from going. It felt like he was running out of time and he had tons of words to say. He had tons of love that he needed to convey. He had tons of things that he wanted to experience with Satoshi, unfortunately without enough time. “I love you, Satoshi-kun. I love you. I love you,” he said almost hysterically, refusing to let Satoshi go. “I don’t have enough time to say this to you,” Sho sobbed. “Don’t go, Satoshi,” he begged.
Satoshi slid out of Sho’s arms and looked at him. “I will come back,” he promised. It sounded so fleeting, so fragile to Sho’s ears. “Believe me, Sho-kun,” Satoshi insisted, holding Sho’s hands strongly.
“Satoshi-kun…” Sho whispered, he wanted to forbid him from going but seeing the determination in Satoshi’s eyes, he felt powerless.
“I love you, Sho-kun, and no matter what, I will continue loving you,” even if I die today, he didn’t say that but Sho was aware that.
They kissed one more time, tenderly and full of love. A kiss for the never said goodbye, to ensure the insecurities and a promise for coming back, which was ambiguous. Sho clutched Satoshi’s hands as if his life was depended on it, and in a sense, it was. But he couldn’t stop Satoshi’s hands leaving his, and him disappearing in the depths of the forest once again like he did many times.
Sho looked after Satoshi with a tear-stained face, his heart beating painfully in his chest, sad and afraid. “No…” he whispered. “Satoshi!” he called after him, clumsily jumped up to catch him. Of course, Satoshi was long gone with that speed and Sho only thought how things could go wrong.
Sho started to run, not really knowing where to but hoping that his steps would somehow lead him to The Witch’s garden, with only one thought in his mind: I won’t let you take him away.
***
Jun cursed himself for being this stupid when he realized Sho was gone. How could he not notice when he was at the next door, completely awake?!
“Stop beating yourself up,” suddenly Nino cut off his train of thoughts.
“Nino…” he started but Nino stopped him.
“There's nothing you could do anyways,” he said calmly looking through the window.
“You can't know that,” Jun said painfully.
“I know,” Nino said. “But you also know that we couldn't prevent anything, until now. Either the fire or the injuries of Satoshi. Also, we couldn't stop him and you know that you can't find him even if you searched for,” Nino sighed.
“But still-”
“It's something beyond our control,” Nino said with a serious voice. Then suddenly he chuckled. “I can't believe that I'm accompanying a wizard to find an immortal monster and a furious crazy witch.”
“You don't have to, you know,” Jun said hesitantly.
“And miss the biggest action in my life? No thanks,” he laughed.
“You're weird,” Jun commented with a slight smile.
Nino rolled his eyes. “You know, you have serious issues with compliments.”
Jun laughed. “I will work hard then,” he said checking Nino with the corner of his eye.
“You better be, I'm the judge after all,” Nino said with a serious face but the crinkled in the corner of his lips were betraying him.
Jun let out a laugh. “Thanks, Nino, I already feel better.” Then suddenly Jun's phone started to ring. Jun reached for his phone, holding the wheel with his one hand. He frowned when he saw the callers ID.
“Aiba-san? Wait, what? Um… That's…” Jun answered confused by the speech. Nino was somehow trying his best not to laugh. “Oh… Okay? I guess… No, I mean, how? Nino?” Jun threw a weird glance at Nino. “Uh… Thanks, I guess? Okay, okay, I get it. We will have a party next Friday,” Jun said and then he mounted Nino a very confused, “I really can’t follow this conversation…” with that, Nino started to laugh out loud, “Ah! No, nothing! Okay, thanks again!” Jun continued and finally, he stuffed the phone into his pocket again.
“Care to explain to me how Aiba knows that I’m a wizard?” Jun asked with narrowed eyes.
“Well… I told him?” Nino said, trying his best to look innocent.
“It was supposed to be a secret!!” Jun groaned.
“You can’t blame me! He came confronting me!” Nino protested.
“What?”
“He heard us talking on the rooftop that night!” Nino said with a pout. “And he is Aiba! He said he always knew something was different about you.”
“Oh… That’s… Um…” Jun stuttered. “I’m sorry,” he added with an apologetic smile.
“Well, it was so unfortunate that I couldn’t keep you as my personal portable charger but Aiba deserves to know too,” Nino mumbled.
Jun chuckled. “I won’t charge Aiba’s phone too.”
“But will you keep charging me?”
“Well, I guess I have to. I’m your personal portable charger after all,” Jun said trying to sound normal.
Nino cackled. “Sho-chan will tease us really hard.”
“You can tease him about Satoshi too,” Jun noted.
“You’re right. I definitely will!”
Nino smiled as his eyes met with Jun. Both of them refused to think about the next day, where Satoshi might not be with them anymore.
***
He looked around himself for a moment before he actually turned to look at the garden, only to see how destroyed it was. It was nothing like Satoshi knew or remembered. The garden was a beautiful place even though the curse that was covering it. But now, the garden only looked wild, scary and pretty much abandoned.
The Witch was there. Not physically but her soul was there. Satoshi could feel her presence, her agony even before going into the garden. He smiled sadly. He was the cause of her agony, he was perfectly aware of that and yet he didn't have any intention to back off. It was interesting how her monster turned into something horrible that can actually hurt her. But still, Satoshi didn't have any regrets at that moment, standing in front of her. Because he wasn't her monster anymore. Because he wasn't a monster anymore. He was just a poor soul, cursed by her. Yet, he couldn't hate her because it was all thanks to her. Thanks to that she gave an eternal life to the monster, he managed to become Satoshi. He managed to find Sho, and fall in love with him.
“It has been a while,” Satoshi murmured when he finally stepped into the garden. A wild, cold wind hit his face strongly, making him stumble a step back. “I am not sorry,” Satoshi said, a bit louder than before. “I want you to turn me into a human,” he said loudly.
The wind roared again, forming words that hung in the air. "You can’t become a human."
“Why?” Satoshi asked.
“You are just a monster with a created heart and mind,” The Witch answered mercilessly.
Satoshi lowered his head before speaking, “But I still feel.”
“You’re not meant to feel,” The Witch said coldly. “You can’t feel anything.”
“You’re wrong!” Satoshi looked up to see the shadowy silhouette in front of him. “You’re the one who created this heart,” Satoshi said as he put his hand in front of his beating heart.
“You only have to feel hate. You can’t love a human,” The Witch said not affected by Satoshi.
“You’re wrong… I don’t hate anything,” Satoshi murmured.
“You hate me,” The Witch spoke almost mockingly. “You hate me for creating you. You hate me for making you immortal. You hate me for everything.”
“I don’t… I don’t hate you,” Satoshi looked at The Witch. “How can I? You created me, gave me a life to live, a chance to meet Sho, a heart to love him,” Satoshi said truthfully.
The Witch only laughed. It was a ruthless sound that made Satoshi’s ears hurt. “And apparently I should take that heart away from you… And those memories…” The Witch said, looking straight into the monster’s eyes. “You were behaving strangely because of that heart,” her eyes glowed with a red light. “It’s for your own good, my monster,” she held out her hand, ready to cast her spell.
“No!” Satoshi yelled with fear, tears in his eyes. “Please, don’t take it away from me,” he begged. “I can’t forget him, you can’t take him away from me!” he begged and begged because living an eternity with no recollection of Sho’s memories, was worse than his worst dreams. “I’m willing to accept anything, but just don’t take this away from me!”
“Are you willing to die then?” The Witch asked belittling the monster’s words.
“I am,” Satoshi said truthfully. “I am willing to die if you want me. I would be still happy to met Sho.”
“Then die,” The Witch said, annoyed and disgusted by the monster. Satoshi held his breath and gulped. So this is it, he thought sadly. I’m sorry Sho-kun, it looks like I can’t keep my promise.
The Witch’s eyes glowed with crimson light, her fingers bend into her palm and Satoshi felt her cold, frightening, forceful yet very familiar magic stabbing through his body, choking him and sucking the tiniest life from him. Satoshi fell forward, first onto his knees, then he felt the cold ground against his face. His heart which was beating for centuries now was beating it’s last few moments. Satoshi almost couldn’t believe that this is the end of everything for him. Satoshi almost couldn’t believe that there won’t be a next morning, which he would wake up to see Sho’s face. Satoshi almost couldn’t believe that he had to leave Sho, that he can’t keep his promise, that he would end up making him cry more.
His tears started to stream down from his face, meeting with the ground. Knowing that he would never be able to see Sho hurt more than The Witch’s magic, which was ripping the life out of his powerless body. Then suddenly everything disappeared. The pain, the fear, the sadness. Someone or something, lift his almost lifeless body from the ground, turned his face up to the sky and Satoshi saw the beautiful rays of the sunlight maybe for the last time in his long life. Then he saw Sho’s face. Maybe this was how the God was welcoming him to death even though he doubted that the God would accept him… “Sho-kun…” he managed to whisper. “I love you, Sho-kun.”
Those were the last words that left Satoshi’s lips. And then, the monster closed his eyes, knowing that there won’t be a waking up again.
***
Sho felt like his own heart stopped beating when he saw Satoshi writhe in pain. He heard them before seeing.
“Are you willing to die then?” he heard an annoyed female voice, making his steps go faster.
Then he heard Satoshi’s voice saying, “I am. I am willing to die if you want me. I would be still happy to met Sho.”
No, no, no, Sho thought hysterically as he ran towards the voices. He dashed towards the garden, which was actually not a garden anymore but Sho didn’t have any time to examine what’s around him at that moment. He saw a shadowy figure, assuming that it must be The Witch who created Satoshi. She was tall, with long black hair surging in the thin air, angrily. She was glowing with red light giving her an unapproachable aura.
“Then die,” The Witch said, sounding annoyed, disgusted and somehow sad. She bent her fingers and Satoshi fell to his knees, he struggled for a second before falling to his knees.
Sho ran forward without thinking, as he called his name. “Satoshi!” His voice echoed through the forest as he ran Satoshi’s side, holding him and turning him around. Sho’s hands were trembling as he couldn’t think of anything. What to do? What to do? Ambulance? But they were too far from any hospitals, it would never make it on time, Sho thought hysterically. “Satoshi… Satoshi…” He continued to call his name, not knowing that he was crying and his tears mixing with Satoshi’s.
Then Satoshi looked at him. Somehow it was like a miracle and he whispered “Sho-kun…” he whispered with difficulty. “I love you, Sho-kun,” and closed his eyes.
A smile was adorning his face, and Sho felt his own heart stopping with Satoshi’s. “No, no, no…” Sho whispered, touching Satoshi’s soft and still warm cheeks. “You can’t die!” Sho said loudly. “You promised me!” He cried on the top of Satoshi’s chest.
“You can’t take him!” Sho said all of a sudden as he turned his face towards The Witch. “You just can’t…” He cried. “Please… Don’t take him…” he begged.
However, it was futile. The Witch didn’t show any mercy towards him. “Why?” She asked. Her voice was colder than anything Sho had know.
“Because I love him!” He said. His feelings were as raw as it could probably become.
“He is a monster,” The Witch said. “He is just a marionette created by me.”
“Even so, I love him,” Sho cut her. “It doesn’t matter if he is created by you or he has a created heart. It doesn’t matter!” Sho stood up, taking a few steps towards The Witch. “He is not a monster… You’re the one who created him because you didn’t want to be alone. There wasn’t a way for you to create a hateful monster from the start! You only wanted to be accepted by someone, and that’s why Satoshi bears all those feelings…” Sho said stubbornly.
A silence covered the forest as The Witch didn’t answer. Suddenly, rays of the sun started to brighten the garden, in a magical way. The furious red light around The Witch disappeared and suddenly, Satoshi was enveloped in a soft blue light. Sho looked at him with disbelief reflecting through his eyes.
“It was love, after all,” Sho heard The Witch’s voice one last time before she disappeared from this world completely.
The Witch was finally gone.
***
Satoshi felt weird when the light behind his eyelids started to hurt. It was… weird. He couldn’t find any other words to describe this feeling. It was like waking up but he was dead. Could deads even wake up? Apparently, he could or he wasn’t dead because his eyes opened without showing any restraint.
He saw the blue sky, lighten up with the morning sun and his eyes met with another pair of deep, brown eyes which he loved so much. “Sho-kun?” He voiced his name, which sounded pretty much normal. It didn’t feel like he was dead at all.
Then Sho started to cry as he threw his arms around Satoshi, embracing him strongly. Satoshi blinked once, twice before his brain accepting that he wasn’t dead. He wrapped his arms around Sho, holding him strongly. He inhaled Sho’s scent which he thought he would never be able to again, deeply. “Sho-kun!” He said, not caring his tears wetting Sho’s clothes.
“Satoshi-kun!” Sho sobbed. “You’re an idiot!” He said. His voice was mixed with anger and relief.
Satoshi chuckled between his cries. “I’m sorry,” he said. “But thank you for bringing me back, Sho-kun.”
Sho only clutched more to his body as an answer. There was a promise that they felt on their skin which wasn’t spoken but exchanged by both of them.
I will never let you go.
I will never ever let you go.
***
"It looks like we were too late," Jun said with a relieved chuckle as he watched Sho and Satoshi clutching each other.
"Or just on time," Nino commented with a big grin.
"Yeah, you're right," Jun nodded. "Let's take them to home."
"Aww," Nino cooed before Jun can move. "Don't worry J, you're still my favorite wizard even though you couldn't do anything this time," Nino said with a snicker.
"Ugh, you would never let me get away, won't you?" Jun grumbled and started walking towards the now very happy couple.
~
A/N: So everyone who is still reading this... first of all, apologies! Real life... Well, lots of things happened but here we are. Basically, this is the last chapter. But there will be an epilogue with Happiness as theme. Because as you see, it was pretty much angst and to be honest, my heart is hurting after writing this chapter. I wasn't really expecting things will turn out this angsty and originally I planned this to be the ending but yeah, I personally need an epilogue with lots of fluff haha
Again, so sorry for the delay but somehow I managed to finish this fic!
Let's meet again for one last time at the epilogue!!
And!! If you're reading this, please let me hear your thoughts about the fic, I would be really really happy for any comments even the shortest ones! <3
Lots of love from Yukina~