[Fanfic] a created heart [10 / 12]
Title: a created heart
Pairing: Yama
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fantasy, au, angts (kind of) magic, romance
Chaptered
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own anything about Arashi. Only the plot is mine.
Summary: Is a monster with a created mind and heart was allowed to love a human? The monster knew it was impossible however the first moment he saw Sakurai Sho in that forest, he had no other choice to fall for his beautiful eyes.
As for Sho; his first encounter with him was a pure coincidence and falling for him was beyond his control.
A/N: Comments are very very welcomed! English is not my native language so I apologize for my mistakes in advance! I am deeply sorry! m(_ _)m
Sho gave a name to the monster which had none. The monster had a purpose of living but Sho gave a meaning to the monster’s life which never had from the start. He lit up the world around him, and the monster met the colors of this world which he had always thought that it was monochrome, for the first time. He became Satoshi because of him. His created heart beat for him. The monster wanted to be with him but he would only bring misfortune to Sho. At first, he decided to let him go. If it was for Sho, he could let him go, he thought. Because that was how much he was important to the monster. But in the end, the monster loved Sho more than that. For the first time, the monster knew that he loved Sho so much that he could actually fight with The Witch for him.
That was the first time, the monster felt brave in the depths of his heart.
***
The monster didn’t have anywhere to go.
That awareness made everything harder than he had thought. Once he belonged to The Witch even if she didn’t care about him. Once he belonged to the forest, which he left without even thinking. Once he belonged to Sho, which he lost not long ago.
It was strange. It was sad. It felt so lonely.
What was the secret that made people human? Satoshi wondered more than anything.
Was it a name? It must have been a name, he was sure of that when until he got a name. But neither a name nor pretending like Satoshi made him a human. He was still the same monster which lived centuries, only to serve The Witch’s wishes. He was still living if anyone could call that as living… He was still there, still wondering what made a person human because he wanted to be someone, not something.
For all this time, the monster was there; an immortal marionette.
He wondered why The Witch decided to make him immortal. Was it because The Witch wanted him to continue hating humans? It didn’t sound likely, because even from the beginning, the monster never hated anyone. Neither humans nor The Witch.
He only hated himself. He only hated himself for feeling too much which only hurt more. He only hated himself for wanting to become a human. He wanted to hate himself for falling in love with Sho. He hated himself for hurting him, for bringing misfortune to him. He hated his own created heart which shouldn’t have been consisting of any kind of emotions. He hated his looks, which looked like a human. “If it was going to be like this… I wanted you to make me different… If from the start, you hadn’t made me look like a human... if you had made me look totally different…” He mumbled while looking at the dark night sky.
He wanted to ask her to destroy him. She was still strong. She could still manage to end his life. But… the monster knew that she would never do that.
Did she hate him that much? Did she want to punish him by imprisoning him into an eternal life where he had no meaning to live? Did she want to see him fall in love with someone who will never accept him?
Satoshi felt sad, tired, hopeless and unimaginably lonely.
“I want to see you, Sho,” he murmured, knowing that it would be impossible for him to see him again. An imitation won’t be more than an imitation, the monster was very well aware of that.
The monster closed his eyes. Maybe, just maybe, The Witch would pity him and he won’t wake up again. Oh, how good it would be, the monster thought. His long mission would come to an end…
Satoshi opened his eyes again. He couldn’t let that happen… He couldn’t let it go. He didn’t want to lose Sho.
The monster, wanted to live, for the first time in his long life; for the little boy who saved him. For Sho, who gave him a name, who made his heart beat with different kinds of emotions, whose touch was something irreplaceable, who lighted his days, who gave him a purpose of living.
Satoshi wanted to live for him, even if Sho decides to run away from him.
***
“... So far, this is everything,” Jun said as he finished explaining to Sho. A heavy silence fell into the room. Jun watched Sho close as his friend tried to digest all the information.
“So… You are a… um, wizard?” Sho tried to put his thoughts in order. “And Nino also knows about it?”
“More or less,” Nino answered. “Don’t freak out, Sho-chan, really! Having a wizard friend is awesome,” he grinned slyly. “He is charging my DS and phone in a blink of an eye!”
Sho blinked. “You are charging Nino’s phone?”
“And his DS,” Jun answered with a heavy sigh. “He is literally using me as a portable charger.”
“This is too much…” Sho mumbled. “But it’s so Nino like.”
“Hey! I am still here, mind you!” Nino retorted. “Anyway, Jun is awesome you know.”
“Since when did you started to fancy Jun that much?” Sho asked while batting an eyelash up.
“Since he became my own portable charger,” Nino answered while he tried to keep his voice neutral. But Sho could see his eyes turning pink.
“And Satoshi?” Sho bit his lips.
“It’s a bit complicated,” Jun started to explain. “Like I said, The Witch has created him for whatever reasons but we have no idea why he is still alive. In magic society-”
“Magic society?” Sho cut him, curiously.
“What? You thought I am the only wizard in the world?” Jun said obviously. “Well, in magical society, the story of The Witch and her monster was just an urban legend, until I end up meeting him. But well, everyone including me thought that the monster was dangerous. In the end, he is probably dangerous since we have no idea what he is capable of, but he doesn’t have any desire to harm-”
“Of course!” Sho cut him fiercely. “Satoshi is a kind man.”
“I know that,” Jun rolled his eyes. “But many in the magical society doesn’t. Either way, they think he is dangerous but none of us are strong enough to destroy him-”
Sho slammed his hands to the table, he stood up cutting Jun once again. “What do you mean by destroying him?! Do you hear what you are saying?! There’s no way I will let you destroy Satoshi!”
Another silence fell into the room. Jun looked at Sho’s eyes and he sighed. “You may not let me, but that’s what Satoshi wants,” he answered truthfully.
Sho blinked. Was that what he wanted?
“He said the same thing to me too,” Nino said sadly. “He… it must be hard. He is well aware that neither this world nor people would accept a monster like him…”
“But he is not a monster,” Sho whispered, he eyed the small flowerpot which contained very young red camellias. Satoshi had brought them with him about two weeks ago and continued to care for them every day. He was kind, silent but caring. Sho was the biggest witness of it. There was no way Satoshi could be a monster. He was the farthest existence of being a monster. Yet, he wasn’t a human. It was funny how twisted that fact is. There were a lot of people out there, who does a lot of monstrous things yet Satoshi was the one who is a monster. “He is not a monster,” Sho said once again determinedly.
“I know what you are trying to say,” Jun said calmly. “But still, this doesn’t change the fact that he is not a human.”
“Jun-!”
“But then again, Satoshi is harmless,” Jun continued. “I believe that, no, I am sure of it.”
“Will you be able to help him somehow?” Sho asked, his eyes sparkling with hope.
Jun shook his head negatively. “All I managed to find is that he needs The Witch to turn him into a human.”
“But…”
“The Witch probably won’t do it,” Jun answered darkly. “I can try to force her, or rather, I can try to communicate with her but we need Satoshi for that too.” Sho pressed his lips together. He felt powerless, he felt anger towards himself and towards The Witch. “Anyway,” Jun continued. “Let’s get some rest, we have to find Satoshi tomorrow.”
Sho chose to stay silent as Nino and Jun left his house. When it was silent again, he ruffled his hair frustratedly. He looked around him, feeling very lonely. Satoshi’s existence was something precious, something so dear to him. His house without Satoshi was so empty.
Sho stood up from his place and walked towards the red camellias. He gently stroked the fragile layers of leaves. How could someone like Satoshi can me a monster? Sho didn’t believe that Satoshi was a monster.
Did it really matter that he wasn’t a human, like Sho himself? He still had a heart. The way Satoshi smiled, the way he fitted into Sho’s arms, the admiration Satoshi showed Sho when he talked about his job, the way he silently took care of Sho, the way he touched Sho, the way how his lips ghosted over Sho’s skin whenever he thought Sho was asleep and so much more. Sho couldn’t bring himself to think Satoshi as a monster. It was impossible.
Sho took a deep breath. “I won’t let you give up on your life,” Sho said to himself, determinedly.
It was time to find Satoshi.
***
Satoshi thought he was dreaming when he first heard Sho’s voice, from very far away. When it came a little closer, he thought his ears were playing tricks on him. When it came a little more closely, Satoshi started to thought he was finally going crazy.
However when that voice continued to echo through the empty camping site, slowly he started to believe that neither he was going crazy nor he was dreaming. He slowly stood up, looking around gingerly, not wanting to be deceived by a mere illusion, he listened closely.
“Satoshi!” he heard his name ring closer and closer, he blinked with surprise. “Sho,” he murmured, barely audible.
“Satoshi!!” Sho continued to shout for him while trying his best to avoid weird bushes which wasn’t there when he last visited. The camping is felt somehow creepy and deserted but he continued to move forward. “Shit, why the hell is there this much of weed!?” He grumbled, shoving some tree branches. “Satoshi!!!”
Satoshi could clearly hear him now, too stunned to move from his place, he continued to listen. Now he could also hear the rustling sound which was coming from the south corner of the camping site. Satoshi felt like the time stopped and couldn’t move when Sho suddenly came into his sight.
Sho grumpily shook the dust and grass before looking around him. But when he did, his eyes sparkled with an obvious happiness and relief as he saw Satoshi standing in front of his eyes. He ran towards Satoshi, threw his arms around his neck and pressed him closer to his body. “Satoshi!” he exclaimed.
“Why…” Satoshi murmured, his voice muffled on the crook of Sho’s neck. “Why are you here?”
Sho tightened his grip on Satoshi, as if afraid that he will run again. He inhaled Satoshi’s scent, mixed with the forest’s characteristic smell. “I came to find you,” Sho answered truthfully.
“You…” Satoshi started but Sho stopped him.
“I am sorry that it took me so long to find you,” Sho said, trembling with the emotions. He buried his face in the crook of Satoshi’s neck, inhaling his scent, trying to make himself believe that he was together with Satoshi.
Satoshi who still didn't let himself embrace Sho back blinked a few times, tears forming in his eyes. “But I am not a-” he started choking in his own sentence. He breathed shakily. “You know I am not a…” human like you, he wanted to complete however unable to make it due to Sho's soft and well-shaped lips which sealed his own. Satoshi couldn't think, let alone moving. Sho was kissing him… He could feel the hesitation of Sho, mostly because he was afraid of getting rejected. He placed his hands on both sides of Satoshi’s face gently holding him in his place but still giving him a chance to reject.
Satoshi didn't and most likely couldn't think much, as he let Sho kiss him like that. Too afraid to make a move, too afraid that he was dreaming everything, he just let Sho's soft lips move on his own like he wanted.
It was short, and very gentle, filled with hesitation and wishes of both. And when Sho separated his lips from Satoshi’s, he saw silent tears running down from Satoshi’s cheeks. “You don't have to be a human or anything for me to love you,” Sho whispered. “You're Satoshi. My Satoshi, and that's all I need.”
Satoshi couldn't say anything while Sho caressed his cheek with his thumb. “But…” Suddenly continued Sho. “If you don't want me…” he started hesitantly but he was unable to complete his sentence because this time Satoshi was the one who started kissing him, filled with the feelings of worth for decades, mixed with salty tears and mutual love of each other.
This time the kiss was a bit more active, with a little more movement of their tongue included in it. They kissed each other a bit embarrassed, craving for more but still gently. Satoshi placed his hands on the sides of Sho, holding him in his place, grounded by him. They were kissing openly, under the starry night, holding each other strongly, without slightest desire to let each other go.
When they parted, both of them were inhaling deep breaths, still looking into each other's eyes.
“I don't know if you'll hate me for this but,” Sho started suddenly. “I am glad you had lived this long. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a chance for me to meet you, and fall in love with you…”
Hearing those words, Satoshi threw his arms around him Sho, holding him strongly and firmly. He buried his face to the crook of Sho's neck. “It's better if you leave me,” Satoshi said, causing Sho froze in his arms. “I only bring misfortune to you,” he continued not giving the slightest chance to Sho to stop him. “But I can't… not anymore. I thought I loved you enough to let you go, but it's wrong. I love you more than that,” he said softly. “I love you so much for letting you go… call me selfish, curse me if you want but I love you Sho, so much that I would fight with the world for you,” Satoshi confessed. Sho could hear the vulnerability on his voice and could feel him trembling in his hug.
“Satoshi-kun,” Sho murmured, moving his hand up and down soothingly. “Then don't let me go. I don't want you to let me go. I don't want to let you go.”
“Sho-kun…” Satoshi murmured, tightening his arms around Sho, he breathed his scent. “Is it okay if I fight for you?”
Sho blinked with surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I want to fight for you, for myself,” Satoshi said, locking his eyes with Sho’s. “I don’t want to be a monster anymore,” he continued, almost pleadingly. “I want to fight for my mortality, I want to fight for a life with you.”
Sho took a deep breath, trying not to panic. “But… but…” he said shakily, as he remembered everything about The Witch that Jun had told him. “Satoshi-kun… I don’t mind you being immortal at all,” he said. He didn’t know what will happen to Satoshi if he tried to fight with The Witch and he honestly didn’t want to think the worst.
Satoshi caressed Sho’s cheeks lovingly. “Sho-kun,” he started. “You will grow old, while I watch you. You will…” die one day, he didn’t say it but Sho understood it. “Please.”
“But if something goes wrong…” you will die, and I will lose you forever, Sho didn’t complete his sentence when Satoshi sealed his lips with his own. The kiss was gentle, and firm. It was full of with promises. Promises for future and promises for love.
Satoshi pulled Sho until they were sitting on the ground, tangled with each other, still kissing. The night was somehow chilly, but they were keeping each other warm. The full moon was illuminating them, giving them enough light to see each other.
“I will come back to you,” Satoshi said when they finally parted. “Just like you came to find me, Sho-kun.” Satoshi circled his arms around Sho once again, pulling him closer while he laid on his back. Sho placed his head on Satoshi’s chest.
They stayed like that until the morning. They didn’t talk much, just feeling each other closer was enough. Sho listened to Satoshi’s heart beat for a long while, meanwhile watching the stars in his arms. If Satoshi was going to fight, then Sho was going to fight with him too, he decided. “I won’t lose you,” he whispered when the sun started to rise lazily. “Promise me you will come back,” Sho looked at Satoshi, wanting him to reassure him. Because he was scared, so scared that he was going to lose him.
Satoshi smiled fondly, reached down to kiss Sho one more time. I will come back to you, I promise, he didn’t have to voice those words, Sho knew very well. Sho chose to believe Satoshi, he chose to believe that sometimes, love could make miracles happen.
A/N: Yes, I am so damn late again... I am sorry T-T
Red camellias means you're a flame in my heart
It sounded so romantic, so why not I thought haha
Pairing: Yama
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Fantasy, au, angts (kind of) magic, romance
Chaptered
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own anything about Arashi. Only the plot is mine.
Summary: Is a monster with a created mind and heart was allowed to love a human? The monster knew it was impossible however the first moment he saw Sakurai Sho in that forest, he had no other choice to fall for his beautiful eyes.
As for Sho; his first encounter with him was a pure coincidence and falling for him was beyond his control.
A/N: Comments are very very welcomed! English is not my native language so I apologize for my mistakes in advance! I am deeply sorry! m(_ _)m
Sho gave a name to the monster which had none. The monster had a purpose of living but Sho gave a meaning to the monster’s life which never had from the start. He lit up the world around him, and the monster met the colors of this world which he had always thought that it was monochrome, for the first time. He became Satoshi because of him. His created heart beat for him. The monster wanted to be with him but he would only bring misfortune to Sho. At first, he decided to let him go. If it was for Sho, he could let him go, he thought. Because that was how much he was important to the monster. But in the end, the monster loved Sho more than that. For the first time, the monster knew that he loved Sho so much that he could actually fight with The Witch for him.
That was the first time, the monster felt brave in the depths of his heart.
***
The monster didn’t have anywhere to go.
That awareness made everything harder than he had thought. Once he belonged to The Witch even if she didn’t care about him. Once he belonged to the forest, which he left without even thinking. Once he belonged to Sho, which he lost not long ago.
It was strange. It was sad. It felt so lonely.
What was the secret that made people human? Satoshi wondered more than anything.
Was it a name? It must have been a name, he was sure of that when until he got a name. But neither a name nor pretending like Satoshi made him a human. He was still the same monster which lived centuries, only to serve The Witch’s wishes. He was still living if anyone could call that as living… He was still there, still wondering what made a person human because he wanted to be someone, not something.
For all this time, the monster was there; an immortal marionette.
He wondered why The Witch decided to make him immortal. Was it because The Witch wanted him to continue hating humans? It didn’t sound likely, because even from the beginning, the monster never hated anyone. Neither humans nor The Witch.
He only hated himself. He only hated himself for feeling too much which only hurt more. He only hated himself for wanting to become a human. He wanted to hate himself for falling in love with Sho. He hated himself for hurting him, for bringing misfortune to him. He hated his own created heart which shouldn’t have been consisting of any kind of emotions. He hated his looks, which looked like a human. “If it was going to be like this… I wanted you to make me different… If from the start, you hadn’t made me look like a human... if you had made me look totally different…” He mumbled while looking at the dark night sky.
He wanted to ask her to destroy him. She was still strong. She could still manage to end his life. But… the monster knew that she would never do that.
Did she hate him that much? Did she want to punish him by imprisoning him into an eternal life where he had no meaning to live? Did she want to see him fall in love with someone who will never accept him?
Satoshi felt sad, tired, hopeless and unimaginably lonely.
“I want to see you, Sho,” he murmured, knowing that it would be impossible for him to see him again. An imitation won’t be more than an imitation, the monster was very well aware of that.
The monster closed his eyes. Maybe, just maybe, The Witch would pity him and he won’t wake up again. Oh, how good it would be, the monster thought. His long mission would come to an end…
Satoshi opened his eyes again. He couldn’t let that happen… He couldn’t let it go. He didn’t want to lose Sho.
The monster, wanted to live, for the first time in his long life; for the little boy who saved him. For Sho, who gave him a name, who made his heart beat with different kinds of emotions, whose touch was something irreplaceable, who lighted his days, who gave him a purpose of living.
Satoshi wanted to live for him, even if Sho decides to run away from him.
***
“... So far, this is everything,” Jun said as he finished explaining to Sho. A heavy silence fell into the room. Jun watched Sho close as his friend tried to digest all the information.
“So… You are a… um, wizard?” Sho tried to put his thoughts in order. “And Nino also knows about it?”
“More or less,” Nino answered. “Don’t freak out, Sho-chan, really! Having a wizard friend is awesome,” he grinned slyly. “He is charging my DS and phone in a blink of an eye!”
Sho blinked. “You are charging Nino’s phone?”
“And his DS,” Jun answered with a heavy sigh. “He is literally using me as a portable charger.”
“This is too much…” Sho mumbled. “But it’s so Nino like.”
“Hey! I am still here, mind you!” Nino retorted. “Anyway, Jun is awesome you know.”
“Since when did you started to fancy Jun that much?” Sho asked while batting an eyelash up.
“Since he became my own portable charger,” Nino answered while he tried to keep his voice neutral. But Sho could see his eyes turning pink.
“And Satoshi?” Sho bit his lips.
“It’s a bit complicated,” Jun started to explain. “Like I said, The Witch has created him for whatever reasons but we have no idea why he is still alive. In magic society-”
“Magic society?” Sho cut him, curiously.
“What? You thought I am the only wizard in the world?” Jun said obviously. “Well, in magical society, the story of The Witch and her monster was just an urban legend, until I end up meeting him. But well, everyone including me thought that the monster was dangerous. In the end, he is probably dangerous since we have no idea what he is capable of, but he doesn’t have any desire to harm-”
“Of course!” Sho cut him fiercely. “Satoshi is a kind man.”
“I know that,” Jun rolled his eyes. “But many in the magical society doesn’t. Either way, they think he is dangerous but none of us are strong enough to destroy him-”
Sho slammed his hands to the table, he stood up cutting Jun once again. “What do you mean by destroying him?! Do you hear what you are saying?! There’s no way I will let you destroy Satoshi!”
Another silence fell into the room. Jun looked at Sho’s eyes and he sighed. “You may not let me, but that’s what Satoshi wants,” he answered truthfully.
Sho blinked. Was that what he wanted?
“He said the same thing to me too,” Nino said sadly. “He… it must be hard. He is well aware that neither this world nor people would accept a monster like him…”
“But he is not a monster,” Sho whispered, he eyed the small flowerpot which contained very young red camellias. Satoshi had brought them with him about two weeks ago and continued to care for them every day. He was kind, silent but caring. Sho was the biggest witness of it. There was no way Satoshi could be a monster. He was the farthest existence of being a monster. Yet, he wasn’t a human. It was funny how twisted that fact is. There were a lot of people out there, who does a lot of monstrous things yet Satoshi was the one who is a monster. “He is not a monster,” Sho said once again determinedly.
“I know what you are trying to say,” Jun said calmly. “But still, this doesn’t change the fact that he is not a human.”
“Jun-!”
“But then again, Satoshi is harmless,” Jun continued. “I believe that, no, I am sure of it.”
“Will you be able to help him somehow?” Sho asked, his eyes sparkling with hope.
Jun shook his head negatively. “All I managed to find is that he needs The Witch to turn him into a human.”
“But…”
“The Witch probably won’t do it,” Jun answered darkly. “I can try to force her, or rather, I can try to communicate with her but we need Satoshi for that too.” Sho pressed his lips together. He felt powerless, he felt anger towards himself and towards The Witch. “Anyway,” Jun continued. “Let’s get some rest, we have to find Satoshi tomorrow.”
Sho chose to stay silent as Nino and Jun left his house. When it was silent again, he ruffled his hair frustratedly. He looked around him, feeling very lonely. Satoshi’s existence was something precious, something so dear to him. His house without Satoshi was so empty.
Sho stood up from his place and walked towards the red camellias. He gently stroked the fragile layers of leaves. How could someone like Satoshi can me a monster? Sho didn’t believe that Satoshi was a monster.
Did it really matter that he wasn’t a human, like Sho himself? He still had a heart. The way Satoshi smiled, the way he fitted into Sho’s arms, the admiration Satoshi showed Sho when he talked about his job, the way he silently took care of Sho, the way he touched Sho, the way how his lips ghosted over Sho’s skin whenever he thought Sho was asleep and so much more. Sho couldn’t bring himself to think Satoshi as a monster. It was impossible.
Sho took a deep breath. “I won’t let you give up on your life,” Sho said to himself, determinedly.
It was time to find Satoshi.
***
Satoshi thought he was dreaming when he first heard Sho’s voice, from very far away. When it came a little closer, he thought his ears were playing tricks on him. When it came a little more closely, Satoshi started to thought he was finally going crazy.
However when that voice continued to echo through the empty camping site, slowly he started to believe that neither he was going crazy nor he was dreaming. He slowly stood up, looking around gingerly, not wanting to be deceived by a mere illusion, he listened closely.
“Satoshi!” he heard his name ring closer and closer, he blinked with surprise. “Sho,” he murmured, barely audible.
“Satoshi!!” Sho continued to shout for him while trying his best to avoid weird bushes which wasn’t there when he last visited. The camping is felt somehow creepy and deserted but he continued to move forward. “Shit, why the hell is there this much of weed!?” He grumbled, shoving some tree branches. “Satoshi!!!”
Satoshi could clearly hear him now, too stunned to move from his place, he continued to listen. Now he could also hear the rustling sound which was coming from the south corner of the camping site. Satoshi felt like the time stopped and couldn’t move when Sho suddenly came into his sight.
Sho grumpily shook the dust and grass before looking around him. But when he did, his eyes sparkled with an obvious happiness and relief as he saw Satoshi standing in front of his eyes. He ran towards Satoshi, threw his arms around his neck and pressed him closer to his body. “Satoshi!” he exclaimed.
“Why…” Satoshi murmured, his voice muffled on the crook of Sho’s neck. “Why are you here?”
Sho tightened his grip on Satoshi, as if afraid that he will run again. He inhaled Satoshi’s scent, mixed with the forest’s characteristic smell. “I came to find you,” Sho answered truthfully.
“You…” Satoshi started but Sho stopped him.
“I am sorry that it took me so long to find you,” Sho said, trembling with the emotions. He buried his face in the crook of Satoshi’s neck, inhaling his scent, trying to make himself believe that he was together with Satoshi.
Satoshi who still didn't let himself embrace Sho back blinked a few times, tears forming in his eyes. “But I am not a-” he started choking in his own sentence. He breathed shakily. “You know I am not a…” human like you, he wanted to complete however unable to make it due to Sho's soft and well-shaped lips which sealed his own. Satoshi couldn't think, let alone moving. Sho was kissing him… He could feel the hesitation of Sho, mostly because he was afraid of getting rejected. He placed his hands on both sides of Satoshi’s face gently holding him in his place but still giving him a chance to reject.
Satoshi didn't and most likely couldn't think much, as he let Sho kiss him like that. Too afraid to make a move, too afraid that he was dreaming everything, he just let Sho's soft lips move on his own like he wanted.
It was short, and very gentle, filled with hesitation and wishes of both. And when Sho separated his lips from Satoshi’s, he saw silent tears running down from Satoshi’s cheeks. “You don't have to be a human or anything for me to love you,” Sho whispered. “You're Satoshi. My Satoshi, and that's all I need.”
Satoshi couldn't say anything while Sho caressed his cheek with his thumb. “But…” Suddenly continued Sho. “If you don't want me…” he started hesitantly but he was unable to complete his sentence because this time Satoshi was the one who started kissing him, filled with the feelings of worth for decades, mixed with salty tears and mutual love of each other.
This time the kiss was a bit more active, with a little more movement of their tongue included in it. They kissed each other a bit embarrassed, craving for more but still gently. Satoshi placed his hands on the sides of Sho, holding him in his place, grounded by him. They were kissing openly, under the starry night, holding each other strongly, without slightest desire to let each other go.
When they parted, both of them were inhaling deep breaths, still looking into each other's eyes.
“I don't know if you'll hate me for this but,” Sho started suddenly. “I am glad you had lived this long. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a chance for me to meet you, and fall in love with you…”
Hearing those words, Satoshi threw his arms around him Sho, holding him strongly and firmly. He buried his face to the crook of Sho's neck. “It's better if you leave me,” Satoshi said, causing Sho froze in his arms. “I only bring misfortune to you,” he continued not giving the slightest chance to Sho to stop him. “But I can't… not anymore. I thought I loved you enough to let you go, but it's wrong. I love you more than that,” he said softly. “I love you so much for letting you go… call me selfish, curse me if you want but I love you Sho, so much that I would fight with the world for you,” Satoshi confessed. Sho could hear the vulnerability on his voice and could feel him trembling in his hug.
“Satoshi-kun,” Sho murmured, moving his hand up and down soothingly. “Then don't let me go. I don't want you to let me go. I don't want to let you go.”
“Sho-kun…” Satoshi murmured, tightening his arms around Sho, he breathed his scent. “Is it okay if I fight for you?”
Sho blinked with surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I want to fight for you, for myself,” Satoshi said, locking his eyes with Sho’s. “I don’t want to be a monster anymore,” he continued, almost pleadingly. “I want to fight for my mortality, I want to fight for a life with you.”
Sho took a deep breath, trying not to panic. “But… but…” he said shakily, as he remembered everything about The Witch that Jun had told him. “Satoshi-kun… I don’t mind you being immortal at all,” he said. He didn’t know what will happen to Satoshi if he tried to fight with The Witch and he honestly didn’t want to think the worst.
Satoshi caressed Sho’s cheeks lovingly. “Sho-kun,” he started. “You will grow old, while I watch you. You will…” die one day, he didn’t say it but Sho understood it. “Please.”
“But if something goes wrong…” you will die, and I will lose you forever, Sho didn’t complete his sentence when Satoshi sealed his lips with his own. The kiss was gentle, and firm. It was full of with promises. Promises for future and promises for love.
Satoshi pulled Sho until they were sitting on the ground, tangled with each other, still kissing. The night was somehow chilly, but they were keeping each other warm. The full moon was illuminating them, giving them enough light to see each other.
“I will come back to you,” Satoshi said when they finally parted. “Just like you came to find me, Sho-kun.” Satoshi circled his arms around Sho once again, pulling him closer while he laid on his back. Sho placed his head on Satoshi’s chest.
They stayed like that until the morning. They didn’t talk much, just feeling each other closer was enough. Sho listened to Satoshi’s heart beat for a long while, meanwhile watching the stars in his arms. If Satoshi was going to fight, then Sho was going to fight with him too, he decided. “I won’t lose you,” he whispered when the sun started to rise lazily. “Promise me you will come back,” Sho looked at Satoshi, wanting him to reassure him. Because he was scared, so scared that he was going to lose him.
Satoshi smiled fondly, reached down to kiss Sho one more time. I will come back to you, I promise, he didn’t have to voice those words, Sho knew very well. Sho chose to believe Satoshi, he chose to believe that sometimes, love could make miracles happen.
A/N: Yes, I am so damn late again... I am sorry T-T
Red camellias means you're a flame in my heart
It sounded so romantic, so why not I thought haha