Going to the Grave
Title: Going to the Grave
Pairing: Jongho
Length: 3328 words
Rating: PG15/R
Genre: au, humor, romance, some minor smutty stuff (nothing graphic)
Summary: There had to be a first time for everything.
Jonghyun would go to the grave saying that it was Minho's idea to go to a love cafe for their first date, and that it was completely planned-out and intentional beforehand. Almost like sabatoge, but in a good way.
Of course, the truth was that neither of them knew where the hell they were going and they'd gotten caught in the rain and ran into the first place they saw with an open door.
It still counted as their first date, though, even if most of the time between them was spent laughing (maybe a bit too obnoxiously, judging by the glares they got from management and the other couples the entire time) at the absurdity of the situation and poking fun at the gushy couples around them in the sickeningly pink-and-frilly cafe.
Either way, when they walked back out three cups each of cocoa later, the rain had stopped but there was still a chill in the air that necessitated Minho wrap an arm around Jonghyun's shoulders.
Just to keep warm.
A busy schedule of Minho working after school at an office doing boring clerical stuff and Jonghyun lazing around and practicing the stereotype of the "struggling artist" so he'd have it perfected by college made it difficult for the two to see each other much.
An overly-romantic Jonghyun and a surprisingly bashful and taciturn Minho made it exponentially more difficult for them to get anywhere in their relationship.
It was a week after their first date that they even hugged for the first time, and Minho blamed himself entirely for the stale awkwardness in the air as they engaged in something so simple.
See, the problem was that, well...
Jonghyun was short.
About a head shorter than Minho at the very least.
So when he'd gone in to hug him, Jonghyun had wrapped his arms around Minho's waist, comfortable for his position.
And Minho... Minho didn't exactly know where to put his hands.
Because, yes, around the shoulders would be the most natural of choices, but every piece of romantic evidence he'd seen in his seventeen years had told him that the taller one was supposed to put their arms around the shorter one's waist.
But that wasn't really an option, because that would mean reaching down quite far and doing a strange sort of bend to hug him properly.
In the end, Minho's hands landed halfway between the dip in his back and his shoulder blades; he still leaned down in a way that was rather uncomfortable on his part, and his arms just felt weird having to hold him there.
Jonghyun didn't seem to mind, though. He just sighed and nestled his chin into Minho's shoulder like Minho's heart wasn't going into a fit and he wasn't in the most awkward position he'd ever been forced into in his life.
As long as Jonghyun didn't mind, Minho figured, things were all right.
If someone were to look up the word "finesse" in the dictionary, any choice antonym would be perfect to describe Jonghyun and Minho's first kiss.
It'd started off just fine, sitting comfortably side-by-side on the back steps of Minho's house. It was night and the stars looked nice, sparkling above them in a way that was romantic enough for even Jonghyun's tastes.
They were even holding hands, for god's sakes. They never held hands. And yet there they were, fingers laced like it was entirely routine, prompted by Jonghyun's fingers sliding down Minho's wrist and linking them together. It was a romantic gesture. Minho appreciated it.
So the mood was perfect.
But then Jonghyun started to lean in for a kiss and Minho didn't see him, so he looked away, but Jonghyun had already closed his eyes so he didn't know that Minho didn't see, so when Minho turned back towards him, their noses collided and Jonghyun very nearly fell onto Minho's lap.
It was terrible.
The moment was somewhat salvaged, though, when Minho righted Jonghyun's balance by putting his hands on his shoulders, and their faces ended up closer together than they were used to.
When he leaned in a second time, praying that Minho would at least pay attention this attempt, Minho met him halfway.
Their lips pressed together gently for all of a heart-stopping second and a half and then they sprung apart.
They couldn't look each other in the eye for the rest of the night.
"I bought a lamp," Jonghyun announced proudly, sitting cross-legged in the middle of his bed, smile wide on his face.
Minho furrowed his brows, eyes landing on the odd rocket-shaped thing on Jonghyun's bedside table, the new addition at hand. "For what?"
"Mood lighting," he grinned, waggling his eyebrows for more effect, "Look, turn off the lights."
The younger was wary to oblige, but reached out to flick off the light switch nonetheless.
Jonghyun twisted some knob on the side of the lamp and the room was suddenly lit in a dim, warm orange glow. The lava in the lamp-Minho was half-convinced that Jonghyun bought it just to have some entertainment before he slept-began to slowly separate and create designs inside, fascinating in its own right. "See?"
Minho's stomach twisted with nerves. It was a lava lamp for Christ's sakes, arguably the tackiest of bedroom accessories, but... Admittedly, yeah, that sort of warm lighting did set a certain mood in the room that made him antsy.
Jonghyun's eyes grew a size as he seemed to catch on to what he just implied and what the glow in the room was doing to both of them.
To be fair, it was probably mostly psychosomatic. The mood was supposed to be set by the lamp, so Minho was feeling its effects.
But...
Really.
Jonghyun looked really nice in that sort of light. The shadows on his face were deeper, softer at the same time. The ends of his hair were haloed in an orange tint, and his skin looked really... nice.
"Oh, I should uh-"
Minho's hand acted of its own accord as it reached out to stop Jonghyun from switching off the lava lamp. "Don't," his voice was lower than usual, stemming from the pit of his stomach that spun with nerves.
It seemed all of two seconds later that Jonghyun was pressed against his pillow with Minho hovering on top of him, lips moving against each other, hands carding through hair and pressing into fabric of clothing.
It was hot in the room, hotter than usual. Stifling. As Minho ran his tongue along Jonghyun's, a sensation not entirely familiar, because they didn't have a chance to do anything like that very often, he could feel his entire body heating up and the desire to take his shirt off before he started sweating was never higher.
He didn't see himself ever wanting to stop this.
This was the best thing he'd ever felt.
"Hyung," he panted as he backed away for a moment; he had a train of thought, he swore it, but it all crashed and burned when he saw Jonghyun straight-on.
Mussed hair fanned out on the pillow; parted and swollen lips, bottom canines just peeking over his lip-line; eyes glassy. Shirt in disarray, neckline pushed down, hemline pushed up to expose his entire flat stomach and curved waist that Minho loved.
How nice would it be, Minho considered in a split second of coherent thought still tasting Jonghyun on his tongue, to let his lips continue down from his neck and over his chest, down his stomach, down his-
"What was that?" Jonghyun stiffened and his eyes went wide.
"What?" Minho had the same reaction. Instinctively, he backed away and looked at the door.
There was a knock on cue.
"Fuck," Jonghyun said under his breath and pushed Minho off him completely, sitting up and fixing his shirt into place. "Yeah?" he called to the door.
Minho had never resented Jonghyun's mother more than when she all-too pleasantly told them that she "just wanted to check on them" since they were being quieter than usual in his room.
When she asked about why the lights were off, she somehow bought Jonghyun's lame story about showing Minho the cool lava lamp patterns and how he'd never seen one in real life.
Minho's sigh of frustration was matched by Jonghyun.
The lava lamp was still going strong, but the mood was completely killed.
They found themselves on Minho's bed some two weeks later, relaxed and dressed properly in pajamas. It was cold at night, and Minho had warned Jonghyun about that. It was the first time either of them were sleeping over, so they were both more than a little anxious.
Despite all that, Minho was happy to find that Jonghyun seemed comfortable enough lying in bed with him. They hadn't done much that night, not really. Aside from a couple hours of video games and watching funny clips online, there was more intimate recreation in the form of kissing, but nothing nearly like that one evening visit to Jonghyun's house. The older had laughed and blamed it on the fact that he didn't have a lava lamp... And then he promised to buy him one for his upcoming birthday.
They were both ready to go to sleep, but neither were dozing off yet. They laid shoulder-to-shoulder in Minho's ample-sized bed, leaning slightly into each other just because they wanted to get closer, but Minho wasn't about to make a move and it seemed neither was Jonghyun.
At least, that was how it seemed at first.
"Hey, let's cuddle."
Jonghyun's almost eager voice cutting through the relative silence both surprised and embarrassed Minho.
It was a good suggestion, though, he had to admit. "Okay?"
Jonghyun shuffled under the blanket and turned onto his side, facing away from Minho. The younger understood what he was doing and mimicked him, scooting closer behind him.
When his arm reached out to wrap around his waist, Minho cursed that his hand was shaking.
Jonghyun exhaled and leaned back into Minho, who was more than happy to bury his nose in the top of Jonghyun's freshly-washed hair and feel the warmth of his smaller body against his chest.
"Wait," Jonghyun piped up again some minute or so after Minho was already dozing off, "Why am I the little spoon?"
Minho cracked a smile and kissed the top of his head in consolation, not conscious enough to do anything else.
Jonghyun's valiant attempt to "make something happen" between them again occurred a week or so later when, in his room with his parents ominously lurking downstairs, he promised something that should be foolproof in combination with the mood lighting:
Mood music.
It started out well, Minho had to admit. Jonghyun's hand shamelessly snaking up his shirt and his own hand weaving into Jonghyun's hair as their mouths moved into each other.
The comfortable level of energy crackling between them was starting to heat up; Minho could detect that much. He found himself crawling more comfortably on top of Jonghyun, the older humming in response. He slightly dipped his hips down to roll against Jonghyun's and there was slight friction, still enough to-
Click. Click. Click. Click. Click-
Jonghyun dropped his head back against his pillow and Minho couldn't help but burst into laughter.
It was just their luck, really, that the CD Jonghyun prepared would begin skipping just as things started to get going.
Of course it would.
Of course.
The golden opportunity of Minho's parents being out of town for a night to visit some old college friends arose and Jonghyun and Minho both knew what that meant.
Minho didn't have a lava lamp or a CD of slow, sensual songs, but it seemed he really didn't need it, not with the way things were going when they fell onto his mattress that night.
Minho would have liked for the whole thing to have gone smoothly, but hey, nothing they ever did went smoothly, so he honestly shouldn't have expected anything different.
The pornos just made it all look so easy. No one's zipper ever got stuck like Jonghyun's in the videos he saw online, no one's pants were ever too tight to get down on the first try like Minho's. No one ever nearly kneed their partner right where it hurt while they were trying desperately to shuffle said tight pants off. No one ever forgot that they were wearing shoes and had to let out a curse under their breath and move to the edge of their bed because they'd made the mistake of wearing difficult lace up high tops that day that were impossible to just slide off.
When things got going they... Well, no they didn't get very much better. There was still fumbling everywhere, elbows hitting each other as they tried to move their arms at the same time, foreheads almost knocking together when they moved too quickly.
It was nerves, and Minho knew it. As collected as Jonghyun liked to pretend he was, he was just as nervous about doing any of this as Minho was.
They weren't going all the way, not yet. They'd decided that through an unbearably humiliating text message conversation the night before-because there was no way Minho would be able to handle talking about something like that face-to-face-, but they were still going further than they'd ever been before. Plunging about waist-deep into unfamiliar waters.
It was the best decision they'd ever made as a couple, Minho decided later through a clouded mind when Jonghyun's hand breached the waistband of his boxers.
The awkward air surrounding was mostly dissipated by the time Minho was simultaneously returning the favor, both rutting shamelessly into each other's hands and enjoying themselves immensely. There was no room to be awkward then. It all felt too amazing to be self-conscious.
School and work happened. Then more work and more school.
Jonghyun and Minho were separated, not indefinitely, but long enough to notice. Text messages weren't enough to make up for the feeling of his hand on Jonghyun's waist, webcam chats during homework hardly sufficed in place of Jonghyun's smile non-pixelated right in front of him.
"I miss you," Minho said outright, looking at the Jonghyun on the screen of his laptop with a frown. It was only after the explicit words were out of his mouth that he realized neither of them had really said that before. It was implied, sure, through other words and through every one of their actions, but he was the first one to put it out there so plainly.
Oh god, waiting for Jonghyun to respond to that was almost as nerve-wracking as the first time he'd confessed.
Two long moments of blank-faced silence passed before Jonghyun's lips pulled into a smile and his eyes softened. "I was just thinking the exact same thing," he said, smile turning almost apologetic.
"Yeah?" Minho asked a bit too hopefully, feeling like a complete idiot as soon as the syllable left his lips.
Jonghyun didn't seem to mind. "Yeah. I miss you too, Minho."
Minho often wondered if there was a certain order in which they were supposed to do things. A linear sort of path for their relationship to take.
Granted, if there was a straight-line guide for them, they probably already screwed it all up. Usually the first confession was supposed to come before the first kiss, right? Either way, Minho wondered if they were doing any of this right.
Maybe he should have admitted his feelings more seriously to Jonghyun. Maybe an expressed "I love you" would have been appropriate before they were on his bed on another opportune night, bodies bare and slick against each other as Minho slid inside Jonghyun, the older clinging onto his shoulders and crying out with every move.
Maybe they weren't doing all of this in the right order, but when they were both trembling from aftershocks, lying on a single pillow and exchanging half-tender half-embarrassed smiles, Minho considered that he didn't need to outright state how strongly he felt about Jonghyun. Not yet.
Even if he didn't say it, he had a feeling that Jonghyun already knew.
Minho woke up the morning after feeling achy all over. He was sore in muscles he didn't know could be sore. He'd never used his body quite like that before the previous night, so it was only expected that he would feel a million types of odd the next day.
"Good morning," Jonghyun mumbled, eyes blinking blearily.
Minho smiled sleepily in response, thumb caressing Jonghyun's skin as he tried to right his thoughts for the morning.
"I'm sore," Jonghyun narrowed his eyes, lips pulling into a frown.
"Me too," Minho nodded.
Jonghyun groaned as he tried to shift in bed, only to find his muscles as immobile as Minho's.
"I don't even want to move," Minho complained, screwing his face up and feeling something akin to misery from even trying to pick up his arm.
"This is what happens when two virgins do it the first time, huh? No one talks about the sore morning after," Jonghyun grinned despite his cynical words.
The younger chuckled in turn, lids falling shut once again.
Jonghyun's hand lifted to comb through Minho's long hair, and Minho relaxed into the touch, assuming it was a show of affection.
The relaxation switched instantly to humiliation with Jonghyun's next words:
"How'd you get lube in your hair?"
"Hey Minho?"
"Yeah?" the younger asked, pouring over his history textbook in search of a date he needed to record for his notes.
"What's the answer to question thirteen?"
He swiveled his chair and looked at Jonghyun with a deadpan expression. "Jonghyun, we're not even in the same grade. We're not doing the same homework."
"Oh yeah," Jonghyun said from his bed with a sheepish smile.
Minho turned back around, eyes rolling at his boyfriend's minor case of idiocy.
"Iloveyou."
"Huh?" Minho barely registered the rushed mumble that came from behind him.
"What? Nothing."
"What'd you say?" the younger pressed. When he turned back, he saw that the older's cheeks were blown in a dark crimson blush.
Jonghyun shook his head, looking pointedly down at his own notes. He babbled in the oh-so characteristic way he did when he was embarrassed, "Nothing. I didn't say anything. I just said-I-no. I didn't say anything. Never mind. Sorry I interrupted your studying."
And then it occurred to Minho what he actually said in the first place. And his smile grew so huge it made his cheeks ache.
"Hyung?"
"Huh?"
"Did you say 'I love you'?" the words made his throat feel thick, made his lips spread into an even bigger grin, as if that were actually possible.
"What? I mean, yeah. I guess," he still didn't meet Minho's eyes, a hand rubbing at the back of his neck.
"Oh."
Jonghyun finally looked up, and the amount of distress across his features was absolutely endearing. "Forget I said anything, okay?"
"If you say so," Minho said airily, turning back to the desk and his work.
He looked at the textbook for about a minute without actually seeing it. His heart was racing already without even saying anything.
And then he said it.
"I love you, hyung."
"I love you too, Minho," was the barely-whispered reply.
He was sure that his face would split in two from how wide his smile was.
Minho would go to the grave saying that he was the one who said "I love you" first, because despite the rush of nerves and exhilaration to his stomach when the words hit him, there was no way he would count Jonghyun's confession as a proper one.
Of course, Jonghyun was swear the exact opposite.
It didn't matter who said it first, really. It just mattered that they said it at all. And that they both meant it. Which, yeah.
Minho definitely meant it.
a/n - okay hai c: I'm finally posting again ^^ who missed me?? probably no one because I was still on tumblr 22 hours a day LOL
anyway. this is my latest contribution to the fandom. I promise one day I'm gonna post some serious, manly jongho doing manly things, but as it stands.. yeah, no. only teenagers being cute and stuff. XP I kinda combined some requests I got back in the day to write this.. I remember one was for jongho at a love cafe, and then some vague ones about jongho fluff. thus, this was born. also, you can't blame me for wanting to write something about fluffy teenagers because I just got done writing 20k of ~mature~ adult relationship onho stuff last month and I was severely deprived. hahaha forgive me.
either way, I hope you liked it c: I look forward to posting again after my break, so.. I hope you'll look forward to my writing as well!! ^^
thank you for reading c:
Kat
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