Defective
Title: Defective
Pairing: Jongyu
Length: 2261 words
Rating: PG13
Genre: au, fluff, friendship
Summary: Jinki was a lot of things. He also wasn't a lot of things. Simple as that.
Jinki was quiet.
He kept to himself mostly. Kept his words and his opinions to himself when arguments started, kept his eyes down at his paper and his lips sealed.
Kim Jonghyun was the kind of guy who brought his guitar to school every day and played it on the bus on the way home. He was half shameless and half dedicated, all amounting to no aversion to the odd glances he would receive as he plucked the strings and disgruntled mumbles from all around when he strummed a chord.
Jinki liked to hear Jonghyun play. While most every other student in the bus plugged in their mp3 players to listen to, the natural sounds that came from the hollow body and the presses of Jonghyun's fingers on the strings were far more beautiful to Jinki. He rode on the bus home with him every day and he listened every time.
Jinki had a certain passion for music that he never really shared with anyone else. It was something he kept behind closed doors and top-notch grades.
He always sat a few seats away from Jonghyun, facing him, trying to force himself not to stare as his hands moved across the fretboard or his fingers gripped the guitar pick so casually, as if it was simply an extension of his fingers themselves. He sat and he listened, relaxed and content, because the music was beautiful; the sound of each note ringing out into the crowded bus was nothing sort of beautiful.
People got annoyed with Jonghyun's playing for reasons that Jinki would probably never fathom. What problem was there, he wondered, with someone creating music like that? The way that Jonghyun sat in his seat, in a row by himself, slouched over his instrument with one earbud in his ear and the other hanging down over his untidy uniform, wasn't hurting anyone, was it? What bother was he, to sit and make music?
A girl spoke too loudly one day. Her complaints were cruel and baseless, claiming how annoying it was that he brought his guitar every day, and that "no one wanted to hear that."
Jinki knew that Jonghyun heard, because even if he didn't look up, his shoulders tensed and his fingers gripped his pick a bit tighter, callused fingertips going white from the pressure.
The girl went on with the same flippant remarks over and over and over and over and over until Jinki, the kid with the shaggy hair that covered his eyes who no one had ever heard say a word, had to speak up.
"Don't think you're speaking for everyone," he said, and as soon as the words left his mouth, his stomach knotted and his heart jumped into his throat, because he never talked like this, never this confrontationally, never this boldly. He didn't know how to hold his ground, really, but he tried valiantly to fake it, looking at the girl across the aisle with a headstrong gaze.
Her brows rose and she scoffed incredulously.
"You said that 'no one' wants to hear, but I like listening to him play." His throat felt thick. Why was he still talking? He was already tripping over his own words pitifully, none of it coming out as strongly as he'd hoped it would. It was a bad idea to say anything. A bad, bad idea.
The girl glared at him. Somehow, it didn't hurt as much as she probably intended.
Jinki chanced a glance at Jonghyun a few seats away.
Jonghyun was looking up now, eyes round and surprised.
Yeah, Jinki understood that. He never spoke, after all, and suddenly he was sticking up for a guy he'd never even met properly. It was weird.
And still his words continued spilling. It was uncontrollable now. "I like when you play guitar," he said, straight to Jonghyun, plain as day, and then immediately wanted to dissolve into nothingness and seep through the floorboards of the bus into the pipes because if that wasn't the most humiliating thing he'd ever said, he didn't know what was.
Jonghyun grinned at him then, stretching wide across his face.
At once, Jinki didn't regret speaking so much anymore.
Jinki wasn't good at making friends.
Most people his age weren't interested in being around someone so outwardly studious. He was clumsy, and weird, and his sense of humor wasn't exactly eye-to-eye with his peers'. He didn't know how to talk to people, really, and one idle search online led to the conclusion that, considering he fit the bill on ten-out-of-ten symptoms, he probably had social anxiety.
Judging by those factors, it didn't make much sense to him how he ended up with Jonghyun in his room, the younger laughing at some joke he didn't mean to make, doubled over with his mouth split wide, eyes tightly shut.
He smiled weakly from beside him, feet kicking back and forth nervously, eyes darting from Jonghyun's guitar bag propped against the wall to his window to his computer desk and back, as if he needed to do any more surveying to know his own room. His heart was doing an odd flip-maneuver in tandem with his stomach, because it felt really nice to make someone else laugh.
"Oh my god, hyung," Jonghyun said, still letting out chuckles between his words, "You're hilarious."
"Thanks," Jinki said, rubbing the back of his neck. He assumed that he looked as awkward as he felt.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Jonghyun perked up while the corners of his lips fell. His eyes went round (well, rounder, because they were already pretty... you know. Round.) with concern.
"What? Nothing," Jinki said hurriedly, trying to crack another smile but not quite succeeding.
Wearing a cautious, almost apologetic smile, Jonghyun swung an arm around his shoulders and pulled Jinki off-kilter so he had to place a hand on his thigh just to steady himself. The other arm joined the first, trapping the helpless boy in place.
"You're a great friend, Jinki," Jonghyun said, and though his voice was entirely genuine, his playful attitude showed through when he began haphazardly rocking them back and forth.
"Jonghyun, let go," he said, voice muffled into the crook of Jonghyun's arm, his smile unintentional. He tried to push away, but it just landed him in a worse state, hand sliding further up Jonghyun's thigh in a way he couldn't not notice.
"No, never!" Jonghyun laughed, squeezing him tighter.
"I can't--breathe--" Jinki said dramatically, gasping in ragged breaths just for effect.
"Try harder!" He was relentless. Stubborn.
Jinki feigned choking and went limp in Jonghyun's arms, slumping against him.
"Oh no, I killed him! Oh no!" Jonghyun played along flawlessly, pulling back to grasp his shoulders.
Jinki's head lolled forward, mouth hanging open unattractively.
"Maybe I can resuscitate him if I'm fast. MAYBE I CAN STILL SAVE HIS LIFE!" Jonghyun pushed Jinki down by his shoulders until he was lying back on the bed.
It was becoming harder and harder to play dead when he had to press his lips together so not to burst into laughter.
"Don't worry buddy, I'll save you!" He tipped Jinki's head back and pinched his nose.
Jinki's laughter was bubbling behind his lips and he squinted his eyes open just slightly and--holy fuck--Jonghyun was really leaning down towards his mouth.
When the laughter finally let loose and he shoved Jonghyun's grinning face away, Jinki wasn't sure which half of himself to let dominate: the half that told him Jonghyun had crossed a line or the half that maybe wanted to feel Jonghyun's breath on his lips again.
Jinki didn't know how to kiss someone.
He honestly had no clue. Not even a wild guess at how to tastefully going about expressing that he wanted to kiss someone.
Jonghyun was good at speaking up about it. That, or he was really terrible and had zero tact and Jinki couldn't tell the difference.
Either way, Jonghyun made it very well-known to Jinki that he wanted to kiss him.
Why he would want to kiss Jinki was beyond him, but he couldn't say that he didn't share the sentiment; he was simply confused as to what his mouth had to offer Jonghyun. After all, how could his own lips compare to the ones that Jonghyun had, the ones that sang such sweet melodies and let out such sincere laughs? He felt waves of inferiority around Jonghyun, the talented, playful Jonghyun, and still he was the one Jonghyun outwardly told he wanted to kiss. A phrase so simple, but still caused a minor riot in Jinki's internal systems.
"What do you mean you don't know how?" Jonghyun asked, glancing up from his fretboard with a sly sort of amused smile.
Jinki shrugged halfheartedly from across the room at his desk, swiveling his chair side to side for something to occupy his body while having a humiliating conversation such as the one at hand. "I just... don't know how."
Jonghyun chuckled, eyes scanning a section of tablature while his fingers mimicked the pattern slowly. "Hyung, everyone knows how to kiss. It's a natural reaction."
"I'd probably be bad at it. I'm usually bad at stuff that involves another person." He began to chuckle but trailed of feebly, hands squeezing together on his lap.
"I'd like to test your theory out myself." Jonghyun looked up again with a mischievous half-smile and accompanying wink.
Jinki felt himself blush to his hairline; he studied his hands and tried to hide his face under his long fringe, but he knew fully well that Jonghyun saw him already.
The younger went back to plucking his guitar strings, playing at an arrhythmic pace as he tried to temper his fingers to the correct notes.
Things would be much easier, Jinki thought, if he knew whether Jonghyun was being serious or not.
"Can I try just once? If you don't like it we never have to ever again."
Jinki gulped, mouth feeling dry, tongue like sandpaper. "But... Why?"
"Because I really, really want to fucking kiss you," Jonghyun said, direct and matter-of-factly, eyes piercing Jinki's.
Well, at least Jinki got his answer. Jonghyun was serious.
"I--" He cleared his throat and felt the familiar tumbling sensation in his stomach that he usually got around Jonghyun, "Okay?"
Jonghyun's face went blank. "Okay?" he echoed.
Jinki clenched his back teeth, immediately regretting that single word. Maybe this was an ongoing joke and he was supposed to have continued his role of being bashful and elusive. Maybe he ruined this, maybe he--maybe--
Jonghyun stood and carefully laid his guitar down on Jinki's bed.
Jinki couldn't meet his eyes as he walked towards the computer chair, still in utter confusion about what he just agreed to or what was about to happen.
"Really?" Jonghyun laid his hand gingerly on the cool desktop, leaning slightly closer to Jinki.
"Sure?" Jinki remained looking straight forward; he was holding a double-edged sword here, because while he didn't want to look into Jonghyun's eyes, from this vantage point he could see down the v-neck of his shirt, the mole between his collarbones stark against his skin.
A finger curled under his chin and Jinki was coaxed to look up. His face was too hot at this point, and the tumbling far surpassed any Olympian he'd ever personally seen.
"'Sure'?" Jonghyun asked, eyes shining with question.
Jinki coughed out a dry laugh, spurred on by nerves exclusively. "Sorry if I'm really bad at it. But I did warn you."
There was a chuckle, and then every other sound was drowned out by the sound of his blood pulsing against his eardrums.
He shut his eyes because he figured he was supposed to, but only found that doing that made the anticipation worse, never knowing when (or if, really, because Jonghyun could be playing a clever prank) he would feel Jonghyun's lips on his.
He froze when he felt a foreign sensation of something warm and soft on his lips.
Oh.
One... two... three... four seconds, and Jonghyun pulled back.
"You're supposed to kiss me back, hyung." A smile was prominent in his voice, breath blowing on his mouth with his whispered words.
Jinki could do that.
Well, he could try.
Jinki was happy.
He wasn't exactly caught up to how exactly he went from the person who would listen to a musician at work on the bus to the person he wrote songs about, but it was a nice role to fit into.
Jinki wasn't good at talking to people, but Jonghyun soon knew more about him than anyone else; he knew his hidden love for music, how he yearned to learn an instrument or to learn to sing, and he was always willing to teach him anything, even if it was basic.
With the help of his friend (boyfriend, maybe? Something in between the two labels?), Jinki learned little by little in hopes that maybe one day he could play a duet with Jonghyun.
But for now, he was more than happy enough to bump knees with him as they sat across from each other and let Jonghyun position his fingers on the strings; he no less than reveled in the smiles they would share from across the bus aisle, loved the days that he managed to cram into the seat beside him and feel their sides pressed together, the bulky body of the guitar sometimes grazing his thigh when they sat close.
He was more than happy to be that person to Jonghyun.
a/n - hi okay this is for a very special occasion so that's why it's rushed and not edited OTL I just had to post it today because
IT'S EMMA'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
soo happy birthday to you, emma ;w; I'm really sorry this wasn't up sooner OTL blame my school. but I hope you like it c': you've been on a jongyu kick lately, so.. I hope this isn't too terrible ;w;
oh, also this was inspired by a thing that happened before at school. it was super embarrassing. okay no we won't talk about it. forget I brought it up. also, everyone do me a huge favor and pretend this isn't like.. horribly mediocre, okay??
but anyway. happy birthday again, emma. I love you the most <3
Kat
mikssi
[masterlist]
Pairing: Jongyu
Length: 2261 words
Rating: PG13
Genre: au, fluff, friendship
Summary: Jinki was a lot of things. He also wasn't a lot of things. Simple as that.
Jinki was quiet.
He kept to himself mostly. Kept his words and his opinions to himself when arguments started, kept his eyes down at his paper and his lips sealed.
Kim Jonghyun was the kind of guy who brought his guitar to school every day and played it on the bus on the way home. He was half shameless and half dedicated, all amounting to no aversion to the odd glances he would receive as he plucked the strings and disgruntled mumbles from all around when he strummed a chord.
Jinki liked to hear Jonghyun play. While most every other student in the bus plugged in their mp3 players to listen to, the natural sounds that came from the hollow body and the presses of Jonghyun's fingers on the strings were far more beautiful to Jinki. He rode on the bus home with him every day and he listened every time.
Jinki had a certain passion for music that he never really shared with anyone else. It was something he kept behind closed doors and top-notch grades.
He always sat a few seats away from Jonghyun, facing him, trying to force himself not to stare as his hands moved across the fretboard or his fingers gripped the guitar pick so casually, as if it was simply an extension of his fingers themselves. He sat and he listened, relaxed and content, because the music was beautiful; the sound of each note ringing out into the crowded bus was nothing sort of beautiful.
People got annoyed with Jonghyun's playing for reasons that Jinki would probably never fathom. What problem was there, he wondered, with someone creating music like that? The way that Jonghyun sat in his seat, in a row by himself, slouched over his instrument with one earbud in his ear and the other hanging down over his untidy uniform, wasn't hurting anyone, was it? What bother was he, to sit and make music?
A girl spoke too loudly one day. Her complaints were cruel and baseless, claiming how annoying it was that he brought his guitar every day, and that "no one wanted to hear that."
Jinki knew that Jonghyun heard, because even if he didn't look up, his shoulders tensed and his fingers gripped his pick a bit tighter, callused fingertips going white from the pressure.
The girl went on with the same flippant remarks over and over and over and over and over until Jinki, the kid with the shaggy hair that covered his eyes who no one had ever heard say a word, had to speak up.
"Don't think you're speaking for everyone," he said, and as soon as the words left his mouth, his stomach knotted and his heart jumped into his throat, because he never talked like this, never this confrontationally, never this boldly. He didn't know how to hold his ground, really, but he tried valiantly to fake it, looking at the girl across the aisle with a headstrong gaze.
Her brows rose and she scoffed incredulously.
"You said that 'no one' wants to hear, but I like listening to him play." His throat felt thick. Why was he still talking? He was already tripping over his own words pitifully, none of it coming out as strongly as he'd hoped it would. It was a bad idea to say anything. A bad, bad idea.
The girl glared at him. Somehow, it didn't hurt as much as she probably intended.
Jinki chanced a glance at Jonghyun a few seats away.
Jonghyun was looking up now, eyes round and surprised.
Yeah, Jinki understood that. He never spoke, after all, and suddenly he was sticking up for a guy he'd never even met properly. It was weird.
And still his words continued spilling. It was uncontrollable now. "I like when you play guitar," he said, straight to Jonghyun, plain as day, and then immediately wanted to dissolve into nothingness and seep through the floorboards of the bus into the pipes because if that wasn't the most humiliating thing he'd ever said, he didn't know what was.
Jonghyun grinned at him then, stretching wide across his face.
At once, Jinki didn't regret speaking so much anymore.
Jinki wasn't good at making friends.
Most people his age weren't interested in being around someone so outwardly studious. He was clumsy, and weird, and his sense of humor wasn't exactly eye-to-eye with his peers'. He didn't know how to talk to people, really, and one idle search online led to the conclusion that, considering he fit the bill on ten-out-of-ten symptoms, he probably had social anxiety.
Judging by those factors, it didn't make much sense to him how he ended up with Jonghyun in his room, the younger laughing at some joke he didn't mean to make, doubled over with his mouth split wide, eyes tightly shut.
He smiled weakly from beside him, feet kicking back and forth nervously, eyes darting from Jonghyun's guitar bag propped against the wall to his window to his computer desk and back, as if he needed to do any more surveying to know his own room. His heart was doing an odd flip-maneuver in tandem with his stomach, because it felt really nice to make someone else laugh.
"Oh my god, hyung," Jonghyun said, still letting out chuckles between his words, "You're hilarious."
"Thanks," Jinki said, rubbing the back of his neck. He assumed that he looked as awkward as he felt.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Jonghyun perked up while the corners of his lips fell. His eyes went round (well, rounder, because they were already pretty... you know. Round.) with concern.
"What? Nothing," Jinki said hurriedly, trying to crack another smile but not quite succeeding.
Wearing a cautious, almost apologetic smile, Jonghyun swung an arm around his shoulders and pulled Jinki off-kilter so he had to place a hand on his thigh just to steady himself. The other arm joined the first, trapping the helpless boy in place.
"You're a great friend, Jinki," Jonghyun said, and though his voice was entirely genuine, his playful attitude showed through when he began haphazardly rocking them back and forth.
"Jonghyun, let go," he said, voice muffled into the crook of Jonghyun's arm, his smile unintentional. He tried to push away, but it just landed him in a worse state, hand sliding further up Jonghyun's thigh in a way he couldn't not notice.
"No, never!" Jonghyun laughed, squeezing him tighter.
"I can't--breathe--" Jinki said dramatically, gasping in ragged breaths just for effect.
"Try harder!" He was relentless. Stubborn.
Jinki feigned choking and went limp in Jonghyun's arms, slumping against him.
"Oh no, I killed him! Oh no!" Jonghyun played along flawlessly, pulling back to grasp his shoulders.
Jinki's head lolled forward, mouth hanging open unattractively.
"Maybe I can resuscitate him if I'm fast. MAYBE I CAN STILL SAVE HIS LIFE!" Jonghyun pushed Jinki down by his shoulders until he was lying back on the bed.
It was becoming harder and harder to play dead when he had to press his lips together so not to burst into laughter.
"Don't worry buddy, I'll save you!" He tipped Jinki's head back and pinched his nose.
Jinki's laughter was bubbling behind his lips and he squinted his eyes open just slightly and--holy fuck--Jonghyun was really leaning down towards his mouth.
When the laughter finally let loose and he shoved Jonghyun's grinning face away, Jinki wasn't sure which half of himself to let dominate: the half that told him Jonghyun had crossed a line or the half that maybe wanted to feel Jonghyun's breath on his lips again.
Jinki didn't know how to kiss someone.
He honestly had no clue. Not even a wild guess at how to tastefully going about expressing that he wanted to kiss someone.
Jonghyun was good at speaking up about it. That, or he was really terrible and had zero tact and Jinki couldn't tell the difference.
Either way, Jonghyun made it very well-known to Jinki that he wanted to kiss him.
Why he would want to kiss Jinki was beyond him, but he couldn't say that he didn't share the sentiment; he was simply confused as to what his mouth had to offer Jonghyun. After all, how could his own lips compare to the ones that Jonghyun had, the ones that sang such sweet melodies and let out such sincere laughs? He felt waves of inferiority around Jonghyun, the talented, playful Jonghyun, and still he was the one Jonghyun outwardly told he wanted to kiss. A phrase so simple, but still caused a minor riot in Jinki's internal systems.
"What do you mean you don't know how?" Jonghyun asked, glancing up from his fretboard with a sly sort of amused smile.
Jinki shrugged halfheartedly from across the room at his desk, swiveling his chair side to side for something to occupy his body while having a humiliating conversation such as the one at hand. "I just... don't know how."
Jonghyun chuckled, eyes scanning a section of tablature while his fingers mimicked the pattern slowly. "Hyung, everyone knows how to kiss. It's a natural reaction."
"I'd probably be bad at it. I'm usually bad at stuff that involves another person." He began to chuckle but trailed of feebly, hands squeezing together on his lap.
"I'd like to test your theory out myself." Jonghyun looked up again with a mischievous half-smile and accompanying wink.
Jinki felt himself blush to his hairline; he studied his hands and tried to hide his face under his long fringe, but he knew fully well that Jonghyun saw him already.
The younger went back to plucking his guitar strings, playing at an arrhythmic pace as he tried to temper his fingers to the correct notes.
Things would be much easier, Jinki thought, if he knew whether Jonghyun was being serious or not.
"Can I try just once? If you don't like it we never have to ever again."
Jinki gulped, mouth feeling dry, tongue like sandpaper. "But... Why?"
"Because I really, really want to fucking kiss you," Jonghyun said, direct and matter-of-factly, eyes piercing Jinki's.
Well, at least Jinki got his answer. Jonghyun was serious.
"I--" He cleared his throat and felt the familiar tumbling sensation in his stomach that he usually got around Jonghyun, "Okay?"
Jonghyun's face went blank. "Okay?" he echoed.
Jinki clenched his back teeth, immediately regretting that single word. Maybe this was an ongoing joke and he was supposed to have continued his role of being bashful and elusive. Maybe he ruined this, maybe he--maybe--
Jonghyun stood and carefully laid his guitar down on Jinki's bed.
Jinki couldn't meet his eyes as he walked towards the computer chair, still in utter confusion about what he just agreed to or what was about to happen.
"Really?" Jonghyun laid his hand gingerly on the cool desktop, leaning slightly closer to Jinki.
"Sure?" Jinki remained looking straight forward; he was holding a double-edged sword here, because while he didn't want to look into Jonghyun's eyes, from this vantage point he could see down the v-neck of his shirt, the mole between his collarbones stark against his skin.
A finger curled under his chin and Jinki was coaxed to look up. His face was too hot at this point, and the tumbling far surpassed any Olympian he'd ever personally seen.
"'Sure'?" Jonghyun asked, eyes shining with question.
Jinki coughed out a dry laugh, spurred on by nerves exclusively. "Sorry if I'm really bad at it. But I did warn you."
There was a chuckle, and then every other sound was drowned out by the sound of his blood pulsing against his eardrums.
He shut his eyes because he figured he was supposed to, but only found that doing that made the anticipation worse, never knowing when (or if, really, because Jonghyun could be playing a clever prank) he would feel Jonghyun's lips on his.
He froze when he felt a foreign sensation of something warm and soft on his lips.
Oh.
One... two... three... four seconds, and Jonghyun pulled back.
"You're supposed to kiss me back, hyung." A smile was prominent in his voice, breath blowing on his mouth with his whispered words.
Jinki could do that.
Well, he could try.
Jinki was happy.
He wasn't exactly caught up to how exactly he went from the person who would listen to a musician at work on the bus to the person he wrote songs about, but it was a nice role to fit into.
Jinki wasn't good at talking to people, but Jonghyun soon knew more about him than anyone else; he knew his hidden love for music, how he yearned to learn an instrument or to learn to sing, and he was always willing to teach him anything, even if it was basic.
With the help of his friend (boyfriend, maybe? Something in between the two labels?), Jinki learned little by little in hopes that maybe one day he could play a duet with Jonghyun.
But for now, he was more than happy enough to bump knees with him as they sat across from each other and let Jonghyun position his fingers on the strings; he no less than reveled in the smiles they would share from across the bus aisle, loved the days that he managed to cram into the seat beside him and feel their sides pressed together, the bulky body of the guitar sometimes grazing his thigh when they sat close.
He was more than happy to be that person to Jonghyun.
a/n - hi okay this is for a very special occasion so that's why it's rushed and not edited OTL I just had to post it today because
IT'S EMMA'S BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
soo happy birthday to you, emma ;w; I'm really sorry this wasn't up sooner OTL blame my school. but I hope you like it c': you've been on a jongyu kick lately, so.. I hope this isn't too terrible ;w;
oh, also this was inspired by a thing that happened before at school. it was super embarrassing. okay no we won't talk about it. forget I brought it up. also, everyone do me a huge favor and pretend this isn't like.. horribly mediocre, okay??
but anyway. happy birthday again, emma. I love you the most <3
Kat
mikssi
[masterlist]