[Fic] Too Good To Be True - FFVII, Zack/Cloud, 4/?
Once again I took way too damn long to update. I don't mean for this to become a habit, but it seems to be anyway. At least my parents are gone now, so I have a little more time to write.
Title: Too Good To Be True
Series: Final Fantasy VII
Pairing: Zack/Cloud, probably some Cloud/Tifa or mention thereof, same for Zack/Aerith
Rating: R, NC-17 in other chapters
Warnings: violence, sex, yaoi, the usual.
Chapter Length: 4783
Total Length: 20,742
Author's Note: This takes place after AC, and is slightly AU in that Zack would not have been present with Aerith in the moments when Cloud touched the Lifestream. Or just tell yourself he was hallucinating Zack, if you like.
When things seem too good to be true it usually means there's a catch hidden somewhere. But hasn't Cloud earned his happy ending ten times over?
The approach to Midgar that led to the cliff was on the Junon side of the city. The fastest way to get there would have been to go through Edge and the remains of Midgar, since Kalm was on the opposite side, but Cloud took them far out of their way to avoid even a glimpse of the city. Maybe it was irrational, but Cloud felt a strong urge to have Zack's first look be from the edge of the bluff. To pick up where they'd left off, in an odd way, continuing the journey that had been interrupted so long ago.
Zack certainly realized that Cloud was taking them the long way around, but he didn't object. For one thing he was enjoying the ride far too much to protest drawing it out, with the wind in his face and Cloud's strong body warm in front of his. The novelty of being the passenger was entertaining, and this couldn't have been more different from the long hours he'd spent on a stolen Shinra bike with Cloud slumped catatonic behind him as they fled Nibelheim.
When Cloud took them off the road and up the back side of the bluff, some of Zack's good mood slid away despite his best efforts to hang onto it. The slope wasn't as steep here as the side that faced Midgar, but most vehicles wouldn't have been able to make it. Zack had run up here, dragging Cloud along behind him and bleeding out from the sniper shot that had hit him in the back of the truck, hoping the rough ground would foil their pursuit.
Instead he'd trapped them and set them up for an ambush. Memories flooded him as they neared the spot where he'd finally fallen nearly a year after breaking them out of the lab. He'd relived these events so many times they were almost the only memories he had with no holes or fuzzy edges at all. The scars on his back and chest burned with the remembered pain of the bullets tearing into him as he'd used his own body to shield Cloud.
So close to their goal, and yet they might as well have been a million miles away. Now, three years later, they were finally going to take those last steps and start their new life together. Zack couldn't help but smile at the thought, despite the painful memories.
Feeling his friend tense up against his back, Cloud almost wished he'd taken a different route after all. Yet he still felt this had been the right thing to do, a step they both needed to take before they could let go of the past and move on.
As they crested the ridge and the remains of once-proud Midgar came into view, Zack gasped loudly enough to be audible over the engine. Cloud found a level place to stop, a few dozen feet from where the sword stood, and shut the bike off. For long moments the only sounds were the wind and distant cry of birds, the ticking of the cooling engine, and Zack's ragged breathing.
"Holy Alexander," the older man finally murmured, shocked. "I know you told me it had been destroyed, but... Odin's blood!" Staring at the twisted ruin that scarred the landscape, Zack swallowed hard. How many people must have died when Midgar fell? It was recognizable as the city he'd once known, but only when he looked hard.
Even from here, though, he could see the signs of reconstruction. Roads were being rebuilt, and shanty houses had sprung up everywhere there was space. It would have been easier for the survivors to go elsewhere, scatter across the globe rather than trying to rebuild, but human nature refused to accept that kind of total defeat. They would rebuild, though it was sheerest folly to try to do so in a haunted place where nothing had grown for decades. How they'd kept from starving to death the first winter, he had no idea.
"It's different, seeing it for yourself, isn't it?" Cloud replied, looking out over the city rather than at Zack. This was the sort of shock you needed a moment to yourself to recover from, Cloud knew from experience. Yet there was a soft note of pride in his voice as his sharp eyes picked out landmarks here and there among the shantytown named Edge by Midgar's survivors. There was the rebuilt bar where Tifa lived and did her best to raise the children she had taken in. Not far from it was the hospital, one of the first communal buildings that had gone up and staffed entirely by volunteers to care for the wounded. Over there was the newest section, where houses were still being built to shelter those who chose to remain and the people drawn to the city by the wish to be part of something so defiant.
Cloud had helped build all of it in one way or another, and he knew the people who lived there. How could he not be proud, when so many people had chosen to thumb their nose at the hand fate had dealt them and go on living anyway? Oh, it was a squalid existence for many, and the darker side of humanity could be easily seen on the twisted streets, but it was theirs and no disaster or monster could take it from them. Not even Sephiroth.
"Yeah, you can say that again," Zack agreed, shaking his head. Tearing his eyes from the ruined skyline, he scanned the cliff and paused in surprise when he spotted the sword. "Well, I can see why you said I'd need a new one," he commented, swinging his leg over the seat of the bike and making his way over to it.
The blade was marbled with lines of rust, the surface scarred and pitted after two years of exposure. It had been thrust deep enough into the cliff to keep it upright, the wind whistling eerily through the two empty materia slots. Crouching before it, Zack ran his hand over the surface and felt nicks and scratches both familiar and unknown. Here was the place where he'd taken a chip out of it on a behemoth's horn and never quite managed to grind it out again. There were the scars where bullets had struck it when he'd used it to shield himself and Cloud from Shinra's attacks. Across one side was a long score from a bladed weapon of some kind, and there were rough patches like the surface had been hit with something acidic and the polish eaten off.
The unfamiliar marks of wear on a sword Zack had known as well as the back of his hand drove home just how much he'd missed in the last years. Cloud had put those marks there, battling with Zack's sword because Zack hadn't been there at his side. Swallowing, Zack stood and set his hand on the hilt, looking out towards the city so that Cloud hopefully wouldn't see the grief and regret on his face. He should have been there for those battles, but instead he'd been trapped in a nightmare.
Too late to go back and undo what had happened, but he could at least make sure it didn't happen again. Getting his expression back under control, Zack gave his friend a smile. "Maybe we should leave it here. It's a part of the past, and we're moving to the future."
"No," Cloud replied, shaking his head with his eyes on the sword. "No, I put it here to mark your grave. It seems morbid to just leave it." He wasn't really superstitious, but there was no point in borrowing trouble. Not after the way their lives had already been marked by one disaster after another.
His gaze moved out over the city, and fixed on a spot away from the main part of Edge. You couldn't actually see the church from here, but he knew where it was well enough that he didn't have to guess. "I know a better place to leave it," he decided. Giving the buster sword a place of honour among the remaining flowers felt right, like a gift to Aerith to commemorate what she and Zack had been to each other. Somehow, he thought she would appreciate the gesture.
Not sure what Cloud had in mind but figuring the younger man probably knew what he was about, Zack just nodded. Tightening his hand on the hilt he pulled it easily out of the ground and hefted it, feeling the familiar weight. Slinging it across his shoulder, since he didn't have a way to hold it on his back, he turned to Cloud.
Whatever witty quip he'd been about to make died on his lips as he saw the younger man go white as a ghost and sag against the bike, blue eyes wide and almost frightened. "Cloud?" he said, concerned as he took a step forward. "Hey, you okay kid?"
Breathing a little too fast, Cloud tore his eyes from Zack and looked at the city instead. The sun was behind his friend and low enough to cast him in silhouette from that angle. Standing there on the cliff with the sword in his hand, the fact that he wasn't wearing his SOLDIER uniform hidden by the dazzle of light behind him, Zack had looked exactly the way he had just before the Shinra troops had gunned him down.
Cloud had still been catatonic when it happened, and it had taken a long time before he remembered the event at all, but apparently more memories had remained than he'd realized. They flooded him so strongly in that moment that it was all he could do not to shout a warning and fling himself at Zack to push the older man out of the way.
That was years ago, he reminded himself sternly. Nobody is out to get you now. Shinra is gone. You're both safe.
Still, it was more than a little unnerving. "I'm fine," he forced out through lips that felt numb. "Just... could you come away from the cliff? You looked..."
It felt foolish when he actually went to say it, and he flushed and ducked his head. "Never mind," he mumbled, waving Zack's concern off. "Come on, we've still got a lot to do today."
Looking from Cloud, to the cliff, to the sword and back, Zack thought he understood. Things still caught him off guard sometimes, too, and he suspected they would continue to do so for a long time yet. "Yeah, sure," he agreed, moving away from the cliff to the bike. He clapped a hand on Cloud's shoulder before he swung his leg over the seat, squeezing briefly in a wordless offer of reassurance. This time they'd both be leaving the cliff under their own power, and most importantly they'd be doing it together.
Rather than going back around down the gentler slope to the road, Cloud decided to take the bike straight down the side of the bluff. He couldn't have chosen a better way to distract them both. Zack only had one hand to hang on with, needing the other to hold the buster sword, but he was in no danger of falling off despite the wild jumps the bike took over the rocks. Cloud needed almost all his concentration to keep them from crashing, but he spared just enough attention to enjoy the sound of Zack's delighted laughter.
As they hit the outskirts of Edge Cloud was forced to slow, but by then they'd both managed to restore their earlier good moods. Hesitating at the fork in the road that led to either 7th Heaven or the remains of sector 5, Cloud finally turned towards the church. They had the sword to deal with, after all, and he still wasn't quite ready to face Tifa.
Not that he was sure he would ever be ready to face Tifa, and he was going to have to do it sooner or later. But he could put it off just a little longer, keep Zack to himself like a present he didn't want to have to share.
Then again, if Tifa acknowledged this was real, maybe that would drive the last doubts out of Cloud's mind. But if they really were symbolically finishing the journey they'd started so long ago then the church was the place they needed to go.
Recognizing where they were headed - it was hard for this part of sector 5 to get much more ruined, regardless of the state of the city as a whole - Zack tensed again. How many lazy afternoons and days of leave had he spent down here, just enjoying Aerith's soothing presence and the beauty of her impossible garden?
As the church came into sight, Zack's heart clenched hard. He almost wished it had been destroyed, because it reminded him of too many good things he would never have again. At the same time he was pathetically grateful that it had survived the chaos, because it was all he had left of her.
Glancing at Cloud in front of him on the bike, he shook his head at his own folly. Of course it wasn't all he had left of her. Cloud remembered her too, and had loved her just as much as Zack had. She had even sent the younger man back, refusing to keep him for herself so that he could be there for Zack.
They coasted to a halt just outside the church, and Zack was surprised by the bunches of flowers laid on the steps and around the front. "What's all this?" he asked, easing off the bike and walking over to investigate. Some were fresh, but most were in varying stages of drying out.
"Gifts," Cloud explained, standing just behind him and fingering another bouquet. "People have turned it into something of a shrine, I guess. They're meant as a thank you for the healing water that cured the geostigma."
Smiling, Zack nodded his understanding and replaced the bunch he'd picked up, patting the delicate petals. "They picked an appropriate way to say thank you," he commented, turning towards the doors. "She always did love flowers more than anything. Seeds were the best present I could ever bring her." His smile turned warm as he remembered just how welcome the little packets had been, and how she'd showed her thanks. Gods, he missed her. When Cloud had told him that she'd still been waiting for him all those years after he'd vanished, it had touched him really deeply.
Walking into the church was like stepping back into the past, but oddly disorienting at the same time. The boards still creaked in the same places as he stepped over them, and the scent of flowers was strong in the air. If he closed his eyes, he could have easily believed he was just waiting for her to turn from the garden and notice him, and then she would run to him and throw herself happily into his arms for a welcoming embrace.
With his eyes open, though, the differences were obvious. A still pool of sparkling water covered most of the flowers, and the sunlight pouring in through the ruined areas of the roof looked distinctly out of place. He couldn't remember how many times he'd wondered what the garden would look like under sunlight. Now that he was finally getting to see it, it just felt wrong.
Moving to the edge of the water, Cloud paused and looked down into it. He'd spent more than one night standing here, wondering why she'd cast him out of heaven yet again. He'd thought it was because she wanted him to learn to move on, forgive himself and love again. That was probably still true, but... glancing over his shoulder at Zack, he smiled. Maybe there had been more to it than that.
"Look who I brought home," he murmured, because he was always sure that she heard him when he spoke to her in this place. Sure enough, the echo of her warm chuckle seemed to float across the water to him.
"What?" Zack blinked and froze, two steps behind Cloud. "What was that? I thought I heard..." Staring around himself at the empty church, he shook his head. "Never mind. I'm hearing things."
So Zack could hear her, too? Cloud wasn't sure if that surprised him or not. None of the others from AVALANCHE ever had, and he'd assumed that the only reason he could was because he'd been in and out of the Lifestream so often. But maybe the years of exposure to mako had more to do with it, and Zack had been subjected to that even more than Cloud had.
"Sometimes I hear her," he confessed. "Not just when I'm actually in the Lifestream. She kept trying to tell me that I wasn't alone, but it took me too long to understand."
Welcome home, the gentle murmur came from everywhere and nowhere all at the same time, and Cloud and Zack both squinted as the room seemed to go far too bright and soft at the edges. I won't even scold you for being late.
"Aerith?" Zack wasn't sure just what he felt when he heard her voice. Everything was all jumbled up inside him, and his throat was tight. "Sorry babe. You know me. I get caught up and lose track of time." His voice was choked, and he coughed to try to clear it.
She laughed again, and both of the men had to smile at the sound. It was impossible not to smile when Aerith laughed, as both of them had learned. Cloud touched the ribbon he wore on his left arm, the same ribbon all of AVALANCHE wore in her memory.
Take care of each other, she ordered, and the words seem to go straight to Cloud's heart without touching his ears first. The sense of her presence faded before either of them could answer her, and they were left looking at each other over the flowers. The extra light had gone with her, leaving the church looking dim by comparison even though it had seemed bright and sunny when they'd walked in.
"Well. That was... weird," Zack finally declared, shifting and rubbing at the back of his head with one hand. Even when Cloud had told him about speaking to Aerith's spirit in the Lifestream, it had never occurred to him that he would have a chance to talk to his dead girlfriend's ghost. There were so many things he could have said to her, should have said to her... but maybe he hadn't needed to. Knowing Aerith, she'd already understood everything he couldn't find words to say.
"I'm never quite sure what to make of it when she does that," Cloud admitted, smiling sadly. "At least this time I wasn't in the middle of trying to dodge trees on a breakneck race through the forest on my bike. She's a little distracting."
Laughing at the image, Zack grinned back at him. "Is this where you wanted to leave the sword?" he asked, finding he agreed with the sentiment. It was a good place for it, the symbol of who he had been along with the garden that was her memorial.
When Cloud nodded, he moved forward and found a place near the pool where the earth had been piled higher after being displaced by the emergence of the water. Spiking the sword down with all his considerable strength, Zack drove it a good foot and a half into the dirt and the concrete and wood beneath. When he let go it stood proudly in place, a silent monument to the past.
"There," he said in satisfaction as Cloud came up beside him to study it. Reaching out, he caught the younger man around the shoulders and ruffled his hair, hoping to get the sadness out of the blond's smile. "Looks pretty good, I think. So where do I get a new one? I want a cool transforming one like yours!"
"You are such a child," Cloud retorted, but the lingering traces of sorrow vanished as he squirmed half out of Zack's grip and retaliated, mussing the dark black spikes as thoroughly as Zack had ever managed to do to him. Laughing, Zack shifted his hold and tried to turn Cloud so the younger man couldn't reach him.
It turned into an impromptu wrestling match, each struggling to be the only one who could get at the other, the flowers rustling around them as they tussled. In mere moments Zack was astonished to find himself flat on his back with Cloud perched on his chest, holding him with knees on his shoulders and both of Zack's wrists in Cloud's hand. Judging by the startled look in those wide blue eyes, the younger man was just as shocked as Zack to find himself the winner.
Slowly, the startled look turned to something like delight. "Stupid," Cloud informed him almost fondly. "You were holding back. I'm not breakable any more, remember?" It wasn't the first time they'd scuffled, but it was the first time he'd ever come out on top, and certainly the very idea that he might win in under a minute would never have occurred to him.
Once again reminded that things had changed, Zack gave him a dangerous grin in return. "Right," he agreed. "So you won't mind if I do this, then." He tensed and kicked up, tossing Cloud right over his head and flipping their positions. Cloud managed to roll away before Zack could get him pinned, and after that it was a real battle.
They fought for dominance, scruffing in the dirt and doing serious damage to each other's clothes as they pushed and pulled. Aside from making certain that things didn't get to the point where actual injuries would occur, neither of them held back at all.
Zack felt just as delighted as Cloud had looked; he couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to play like this, without having to worry about damaging the person he was with. He hadn't had many real friends among the SOLDIERs, not the type he could just ambush and wrestle with for the hell of it. And he'd certainly never had a chance to do it with Cloud, who was the one person who could probably most use a bit of childish playing in his life.
Both of them shouted threats and insults that came out breathless with laughter as they struggled, but neither could manage to get an advantage over the other for more than a few seconds. Finally one of Zack's more enthusiastic attempts to keep Cloud from pinning him sent them both tumbling into the pool, hitting the cool water with a shocking splash.
Sputtering and gasping for air, they surfaced a few feet apart and stood, waist deep in the crystal water and staring at each other. Zack started snickering first but Cloud wasn't long in joining him, and shortly they were both laughing hard enough to echo through the ruins of the church.
"Shiva and Ifrit, that was fun," Zack declared, his eyes gleaming more with mischief and amusement than mako.
"This does nothing to disprove my earlier statement about you being such a child," Cloud retorted, getting himself back under control and managing to mock glare at his friend. The effect was somewhat ruined by the equal amusement in his eyes, however. "But yes, it was fun," he relented after a moment.
Looking ruefully down at himself, Cloud realized that the water had turned the dirt into mud, and he had bits of grass and leaves and flower petals clinging to him as well. Zack was in no better shape. At least the cool water had helped quench the physical reaction he'd been starting to have to being so close to Zack. "We can't go see Tifa like this," he declared, sloshing towards the bank and scrambling up onto the flowers once more. "She'll make us both mop the floors for a week if we drag mud and water into her bar."
"You sound like you're speaking from experience," Zack teased him, running a hand through his hair to get the worst of the mess out of it before following.
"Damn right I am," Cloud replied, smiling again. The expression was getting easier, and starting to feel more natural. At this rate, he thought with amusement, it would start to feel odd when he frowned. Had there ever been a time in his life when that was true? "I rode through a thunderstorm to get back here to see her on her last birthday, and the first thing she did was make me clean up the mess. Trust me, you don't ever want Tifa mad at you."
"No, I think I remember that part," Zack agreed with another laugh, hauling himself onto dry land. "Well, if we don't want to drip everywhere we either need to wait to go see her or find something to change into. I don't know about you but I'm starving, so I vote for changing."
Though it was tempting to put off the inevitable a little longer, Cloud knew he was just being silly at this point. "I've got extra clothes, I sleep here sometimes," he said, picking his way through the flowers to avoid damaging them any further. "You should fit my stuff."
And that was just as odd a thought as all the rest of it. They were almost the same size now, the differences caused by age and strength no longer as clearly defined. Cloud's shirts would be a bit tight over Zack's chest and his pants might be just a little too short, but it would hardly be noticeable.
He turned with a pair of jeans and another t-shirt in his hands. "Here," he offered almost shyly. "I don't have much. I've never really cared about clothes, mostly I just wash and do my best to repair what I'm wearing."
"No problem," Zack assured him, taking the clothes happily. "I'm no clothes-horse myself. This is fine, don't worry about it. What about you?"
Cloud took stock of himself. He didn't have another pair of pants, but the ones he was wearing weren't too bad. The leather duster he wore had taken most of the dirt on his bottom half, and the leather of the pants shed the water easily enough. His shirt was both soaked and dirty, and one of the straps of his pauldron had snapped, leaving the metal shoulder armour only loosely held in place.
"I'll just change my shirt," he decided, and turned his back so he wouldn't have to watch Zack get changed. Even with his eyes firmly fixed on the nearest wall, though, he still blushed as he stripped out of armour and shirt and pulled a new shirt over his head. The leather duster he set aside until he could get a chance to clean the mud now ground into it, and put the metal pauldron on top of it.
He felt half naked in just 'civilian' clothes and his sword belt. On the other hand he had a feeling many wrestling matches like that were probably in his future, and it would be a lot more comfortable without the armour and extra leather to get tangled in.
Smiling at the thought, he turned to find that Zack was just tugging his new shirt on as well. As Cloud had expected it was a little tight, but no worse than the one they'd taken from the lab. Their boots still squelched, of course, but there wasn't much they could do about that.
Disregarding the sword belt at Cloud's waist and the mako glow in their eyes, they could have been any two boys in their twenties just hanging out and having fun. Cloud felt... normal. It wasn't a familiar sensation.
"We're going to have to get me some clothes soon, I can't keep stealing other people's," Zack commented with a laugh, turning and seeing Cloud watching him. "And a weapon. With a proper holster, carrying it around is a pain. But it can wait."
"Yeah. Tomorrow," Cloud promised him. There were a lot of things that still needed to be figured out, now that it was finally sinking in that Zack was here to stay. But all of it could wait until the next day. A slow grin spread over his face. "Now I think it's time to find out if someone really can die of shock."
Title: Too Good To Be True
Series: Final Fantasy VII
Pairing: Zack/Cloud, probably some Cloud/Tifa or mention thereof, same for Zack/Aerith
Rating: R, NC-17 in other chapters
Warnings: violence, sex, yaoi, the usual.
Chapter Length: 4783
Total Length: 20,742
Author's Note: This takes place after AC, and is slightly AU in that Zack would not have been present with Aerith in the moments when Cloud touched the Lifestream. Or just tell yourself he was hallucinating Zack, if you like.
When things seem too good to be true it usually means there's a catch hidden somewhere. But hasn't Cloud earned his happy ending ten times over?
The approach to Midgar that led to the cliff was on the Junon side of the city. The fastest way to get there would have been to go through Edge and the remains of Midgar, since Kalm was on the opposite side, but Cloud took them far out of their way to avoid even a glimpse of the city. Maybe it was irrational, but Cloud felt a strong urge to have Zack's first look be from the edge of the bluff. To pick up where they'd left off, in an odd way, continuing the journey that had been interrupted so long ago.
Zack certainly realized that Cloud was taking them the long way around, but he didn't object. For one thing he was enjoying the ride far too much to protest drawing it out, with the wind in his face and Cloud's strong body warm in front of his. The novelty of being the passenger was entertaining, and this couldn't have been more different from the long hours he'd spent on a stolen Shinra bike with Cloud slumped catatonic behind him as they fled Nibelheim.
When Cloud took them off the road and up the back side of the bluff, some of Zack's good mood slid away despite his best efforts to hang onto it. The slope wasn't as steep here as the side that faced Midgar, but most vehicles wouldn't have been able to make it. Zack had run up here, dragging Cloud along behind him and bleeding out from the sniper shot that had hit him in the back of the truck, hoping the rough ground would foil their pursuit.
Instead he'd trapped them and set them up for an ambush. Memories flooded him as they neared the spot where he'd finally fallen nearly a year after breaking them out of the lab. He'd relived these events so many times they were almost the only memories he had with no holes or fuzzy edges at all. The scars on his back and chest burned with the remembered pain of the bullets tearing into him as he'd used his own body to shield Cloud.
So close to their goal, and yet they might as well have been a million miles away. Now, three years later, they were finally going to take those last steps and start their new life together. Zack couldn't help but smile at the thought, despite the painful memories.
Feeling his friend tense up against his back, Cloud almost wished he'd taken a different route after all. Yet he still felt this had been the right thing to do, a step they both needed to take before they could let go of the past and move on.
As they crested the ridge and the remains of once-proud Midgar came into view, Zack gasped loudly enough to be audible over the engine. Cloud found a level place to stop, a few dozen feet from where the sword stood, and shut the bike off. For long moments the only sounds were the wind and distant cry of birds, the ticking of the cooling engine, and Zack's ragged breathing.
"Holy Alexander," the older man finally murmured, shocked. "I know you told me it had been destroyed, but... Odin's blood!" Staring at the twisted ruin that scarred the landscape, Zack swallowed hard. How many people must have died when Midgar fell? It was recognizable as the city he'd once known, but only when he looked hard.
Even from here, though, he could see the signs of reconstruction. Roads were being rebuilt, and shanty houses had sprung up everywhere there was space. It would have been easier for the survivors to go elsewhere, scatter across the globe rather than trying to rebuild, but human nature refused to accept that kind of total defeat. They would rebuild, though it was sheerest folly to try to do so in a haunted place where nothing had grown for decades. How they'd kept from starving to death the first winter, he had no idea.
"It's different, seeing it for yourself, isn't it?" Cloud replied, looking out over the city rather than at Zack. This was the sort of shock you needed a moment to yourself to recover from, Cloud knew from experience. Yet there was a soft note of pride in his voice as his sharp eyes picked out landmarks here and there among the shantytown named Edge by Midgar's survivors. There was the rebuilt bar where Tifa lived and did her best to raise the children she had taken in. Not far from it was the hospital, one of the first communal buildings that had gone up and staffed entirely by volunteers to care for the wounded. Over there was the newest section, where houses were still being built to shelter those who chose to remain and the people drawn to the city by the wish to be part of something so defiant.
Cloud had helped build all of it in one way or another, and he knew the people who lived there. How could he not be proud, when so many people had chosen to thumb their nose at the hand fate had dealt them and go on living anyway? Oh, it was a squalid existence for many, and the darker side of humanity could be easily seen on the twisted streets, but it was theirs and no disaster or monster could take it from them. Not even Sephiroth.
"Yeah, you can say that again," Zack agreed, shaking his head. Tearing his eyes from the ruined skyline, he scanned the cliff and paused in surprise when he spotted the sword. "Well, I can see why you said I'd need a new one," he commented, swinging his leg over the seat of the bike and making his way over to it.
The blade was marbled with lines of rust, the surface scarred and pitted after two years of exposure. It had been thrust deep enough into the cliff to keep it upright, the wind whistling eerily through the two empty materia slots. Crouching before it, Zack ran his hand over the surface and felt nicks and scratches both familiar and unknown. Here was the place where he'd taken a chip out of it on a behemoth's horn and never quite managed to grind it out again. There were the scars where bullets had struck it when he'd used it to shield himself and Cloud from Shinra's attacks. Across one side was a long score from a bladed weapon of some kind, and there were rough patches like the surface had been hit with something acidic and the polish eaten off.
The unfamiliar marks of wear on a sword Zack had known as well as the back of his hand drove home just how much he'd missed in the last years. Cloud had put those marks there, battling with Zack's sword because Zack hadn't been there at his side. Swallowing, Zack stood and set his hand on the hilt, looking out towards the city so that Cloud hopefully wouldn't see the grief and regret on his face. He should have been there for those battles, but instead he'd been trapped in a nightmare.
Too late to go back and undo what had happened, but he could at least make sure it didn't happen again. Getting his expression back under control, Zack gave his friend a smile. "Maybe we should leave it here. It's a part of the past, and we're moving to the future."
"No," Cloud replied, shaking his head with his eyes on the sword. "No, I put it here to mark your grave. It seems morbid to just leave it." He wasn't really superstitious, but there was no point in borrowing trouble. Not after the way their lives had already been marked by one disaster after another.
His gaze moved out over the city, and fixed on a spot away from the main part of Edge. You couldn't actually see the church from here, but he knew where it was well enough that he didn't have to guess. "I know a better place to leave it," he decided. Giving the buster sword a place of honour among the remaining flowers felt right, like a gift to Aerith to commemorate what she and Zack had been to each other. Somehow, he thought she would appreciate the gesture.
Not sure what Cloud had in mind but figuring the younger man probably knew what he was about, Zack just nodded. Tightening his hand on the hilt he pulled it easily out of the ground and hefted it, feeling the familiar weight. Slinging it across his shoulder, since he didn't have a way to hold it on his back, he turned to Cloud.
Whatever witty quip he'd been about to make died on his lips as he saw the younger man go white as a ghost and sag against the bike, blue eyes wide and almost frightened. "Cloud?" he said, concerned as he took a step forward. "Hey, you okay kid?"
Breathing a little too fast, Cloud tore his eyes from Zack and looked at the city instead. The sun was behind his friend and low enough to cast him in silhouette from that angle. Standing there on the cliff with the sword in his hand, the fact that he wasn't wearing his SOLDIER uniform hidden by the dazzle of light behind him, Zack had looked exactly the way he had just before the Shinra troops had gunned him down.
Cloud had still been catatonic when it happened, and it had taken a long time before he remembered the event at all, but apparently more memories had remained than he'd realized. They flooded him so strongly in that moment that it was all he could do not to shout a warning and fling himself at Zack to push the older man out of the way.
That was years ago, he reminded himself sternly. Nobody is out to get you now. Shinra is gone. You're both safe.
Still, it was more than a little unnerving. "I'm fine," he forced out through lips that felt numb. "Just... could you come away from the cliff? You looked..."
It felt foolish when he actually went to say it, and he flushed and ducked his head. "Never mind," he mumbled, waving Zack's concern off. "Come on, we've still got a lot to do today."
Looking from Cloud, to the cliff, to the sword and back, Zack thought he understood. Things still caught him off guard sometimes, too, and he suspected they would continue to do so for a long time yet. "Yeah, sure," he agreed, moving away from the cliff to the bike. He clapped a hand on Cloud's shoulder before he swung his leg over the seat, squeezing briefly in a wordless offer of reassurance. This time they'd both be leaving the cliff under their own power, and most importantly they'd be doing it together.
Rather than going back around down the gentler slope to the road, Cloud decided to take the bike straight down the side of the bluff. He couldn't have chosen a better way to distract them both. Zack only had one hand to hang on with, needing the other to hold the buster sword, but he was in no danger of falling off despite the wild jumps the bike took over the rocks. Cloud needed almost all his concentration to keep them from crashing, but he spared just enough attention to enjoy the sound of Zack's delighted laughter.
As they hit the outskirts of Edge Cloud was forced to slow, but by then they'd both managed to restore their earlier good moods. Hesitating at the fork in the road that led to either 7th Heaven or the remains of sector 5, Cloud finally turned towards the church. They had the sword to deal with, after all, and he still wasn't quite ready to face Tifa.
Not that he was sure he would ever be ready to face Tifa, and he was going to have to do it sooner or later. But he could put it off just a little longer, keep Zack to himself like a present he didn't want to have to share.
Then again, if Tifa acknowledged this was real, maybe that would drive the last doubts out of Cloud's mind. But if they really were symbolically finishing the journey they'd started so long ago then the church was the place they needed to go.
Recognizing where they were headed - it was hard for this part of sector 5 to get much more ruined, regardless of the state of the city as a whole - Zack tensed again. How many lazy afternoons and days of leave had he spent down here, just enjoying Aerith's soothing presence and the beauty of her impossible garden?
As the church came into sight, Zack's heart clenched hard. He almost wished it had been destroyed, because it reminded him of too many good things he would never have again. At the same time he was pathetically grateful that it had survived the chaos, because it was all he had left of her.
Glancing at Cloud in front of him on the bike, he shook his head at his own folly. Of course it wasn't all he had left of her. Cloud remembered her too, and had loved her just as much as Zack had. She had even sent the younger man back, refusing to keep him for herself so that he could be there for Zack.
They coasted to a halt just outside the church, and Zack was surprised by the bunches of flowers laid on the steps and around the front. "What's all this?" he asked, easing off the bike and walking over to investigate. Some were fresh, but most were in varying stages of drying out.
"Gifts," Cloud explained, standing just behind him and fingering another bouquet. "People have turned it into something of a shrine, I guess. They're meant as a thank you for the healing water that cured the geostigma."
Smiling, Zack nodded his understanding and replaced the bunch he'd picked up, patting the delicate petals. "They picked an appropriate way to say thank you," he commented, turning towards the doors. "She always did love flowers more than anything. Seeds were the best present I could ever bring her." His smile turned warm as he remembered just how welcome the little packets had been, and how she'd showed her thanks. Gods, he missed her. When Cloud had told him that she'd still been waiting for him all those years after he'd vanished, it had touched him really deeply.
Walking into the church was like stepping back into the past, but oddly disorienting at the same time. The boards still creaked in the same places as he stepped over them, and the scent of flowers was strong in the air. If he closed his eyes, he could have easily believed he was just waiting for her to turn from the garden and notice him, and then she would run to him and throw herself happily into his arms for a welcoming embrace.
With his eyes open, though, the differences were obvious. A still pool of sparkling water covered most of the flowers, and the sunlight pouring in through the ruined areas of the roof looked distinctly out of place. He couldn't remember how many times he'd wondered what the garden would look like under sunlight. Now that he was finally getting to see it, it just felt wrong.
Moving to the edge of the water, Cloud paused and looked down into it. He'd spent more than one night standing here, wondering why she'd cast him out of heaven yet again. He'd thought it was because she wanted him to learn to move on, forgive himself and love again. That was probably still true, but... glancing over his shoulder at Zack, he smiled. Maybe there had been more to it than that.
"Look who I brought home," he murmured, because he was always sure that she heard him when he spoke to her in this place. Sure enough, the echo of her warm chuckle seemed to float across the water to him.
"What?" Zack blinked and froze, two steps behind Cloud. "What was that? I thought I heard..." Staring around himself at the empty church, he shook his head. "Never mind. I'm hearing things."
So Zack could hear her, too? Cloud wasn't sure if that surprised him or not. None of the others from AVALANCHE ever had, and he'd assumed that the only reason he could was because he'd been in and out of the Lifestream so often. But maybe the years of exposure to mako had more to do with it, and Zack had been subjected to that even more than Cloud had.
"Sometimes I hear her," he confessed. "Not just when I'm actually in the Lifestream. She kept trying to tell me that I wasn't alone, but it took me too long to understand."
Welcome home, the gentle murmur came from everywhere and nowhere all at the same time, and Cloud and Zack both squinted as the room seemed to go far too bright and soft at the edges. I won't even scold you for being late.
"Aerith?" Zack wasn't sure just what he felt when he heard her voice. Everything was all jumbled up inside him, and his throat was tight. "Sorry babe. You know me. I get caught up and lose track of time." His voice was choked, and he coughed to try to clear it.
She laughed again, and both of the men had to smile at the sound. It was impossible not to smile when Aerith laughed, as both of them had learned. Cloud touched the ribbon he wore on his left arm, the same ribbon all of AVALANCHE wore in her memory.
Take care of each other, she ordered, and the words seem to go straight to Cloud's heart without touching his ears first. The sense of her presence faded before either of them could answer her, and they were left looking at each other over the flowers. The extra light had gone with her, leaving the church looking dim by comparison even though it had seemed bright and sunny when they'd walked in.
"Well. That was... weird," Zack finally declared, shifting and rubbing at the back of his head with one hand. Even when Cloud had told him about speaking to Aerith's spirit in the Lifestream, it had never occurred to him that he would have a chance to talk to his dead girlfriend's ghost. There were so many things he could have said to her, should have said to her... but maybe he hadn't needed to. Knowing Aerith, she'd already understood everything he couldn't find words to say.
"I'm never quite sure what to make of it when she does that," Cloud admitted, smiling sadly. "At least this time I wasn't in the middle of trying to dodge trees on a breakneck race through the forest on my bike. She's a little distracting."
Laughing at the image, Zack grinned back at him. "Is this where you wanted to leave the sword?" he asked, finding he agreed with the sentiment. It was a good place for it, the symbol of who he had been along with the garden that was her memorial.
When Cloud nodded, he moved forward and found a place near the pool where the earth had been piled higher after being displaced by the emergence of the water. Spiking the sword down with all his considerable strength, Zack drove it a good foot and a half into the dirt and the concrete and wood beneath. When he let go it stood proudly in place, a silent monument to the past.
"There," he said in satisfaction as Cloud came up beside him to study it. Reaching out, he caught the younger man around the shoulders and ruffled his hair, hoping to get the sadness out of the blond's smile. "Looks pretty good, I think. So where do I get a new one? I want a cool transforming one like yours!"
"You are such a child," Cloud retorted, but the lingering traces of sorrow vanished as he squirmed half out of Zack's grip and retaliated, mussing the dark black spikes as thoroughly as Zack had ever managed to do to him. Laughing, Zack shifted his hold and tried to turn Cloud so the younger man couldn't reach him.
It turned into an impromptu wrestling match, each struggling to be the only one who could get at the other, the flowers rustling around them as they tussled. In mere moments Zack was astonished to find himself flat on his back with Cloud perched on his chest, holding him with knees on his shoulders and both of Zack's wrists in Cloud's hand. Judging by the startled look in those wide blue eyes, the younger man was just as shocked as Zack to find himself the winner.
Slowly, the startled look turned to something like delight. "Stupid," Cloud informed him almost fondly. "You were holding back. I'm not breakable any more, remember?" It wasn't the first time they'd scuffled, but it was the first time he'd ever come out on top, and certainly the very idea that he might win in under a minute would never have occurred to him.
Once again reminded that things had changed, Zack gave him a dangerous grin in return. "Right," he agreed. "So you won't mind if I do this, then." He tensed and kicked up, tossing Cloud right over his head and flipping their positions. Cloud managed to roll away before Zack could get him pinned, and after that it was a real battle.
They fought for dominance, scruffing in the dirt and doing serious damage to each other's clothes as they pushed and pulled. Aside from making certain that things didn't get to the point where actual injuries would occur, neither of them held back at all.
Zack felt just as delighted as Cloud had looked; he couldn't remember the last time he'd been able to play like this, without having to worry about damaging the person he was with. He hadn't had many real friends among the SOLDIERs, not the type he could just ambush and wrestle with for the hell of it. And he'd certainly never had a chance to do it with Cloud, who was the one person who could probably most use a bit of childish playing in his life.
Both of them shouted threats and insults that came out breathless with laughter as they struggled, but neither could manage to get an advantage over the other for more than a few seconds. Finally one of Zack's more enthusiastic attempts to keep Cloud from pinning him sent them both tumbling into the pool, hitting the cool water with a shocking splash.
Sputtering and gasping for air, they surfaced a few feet apart and stood, waist deep in the crystal water and staring at each other. Zack started snickering first but Cloud wasn't long in joining him, and shortly they were both laughing hard enough to echo through the ruins of the church.
"Shiva and Ifrit, that was fun," Zack declared, his eyes gleaming more with mischief and amusement than mako.
"This does nothing to disprove my earlier statement about you being such a child," Cloud retorted, getting himself back under control and managing to mock glare at his friend. The effect was somewhat ruined by the equal amusement in his eyes, however. "But yes, it was fun," he relented after a moment.
Looking ruefully down at himself, Cloud realized that the water had turned the dirt into mud, and he had bits of grass and leaves and flower petals clinging to him as well. Zack was in no better shape. At least the cool water had helped quench the physical reaction he'd been starting to have to being so close to Zack. "We can't go see Tifa like this," he declared, sloshing towards the bank and scrambling up onto the flowers once more. "She'll make us both mop the floors for a week if we drag mud and water into her bar."
"You sound like you're speaking from experience," Zack teased him, running a hand through his hair to get the worst of the mess out of it before following.
"Damn right I am," Cloud replied, smiling again. The expression was getting easier, and starting to feel more natural. At this rate, he thought with amusement, it would start to feel odd when he frowned. Had there ever been a time in his life when that was true? "I rode through a thunderstorm to get back here to see her on her last birthday, and the first thing she did was make me clean up the mess. Trust me, you don't ever want Tifa mad at you."
"No, I think I remember that part," Zack agreed with another laugh, hauling himself onto dry land. "Well, if we don't want to drip everywhere we either need to wait to go see her or find something to change into. I don't know about you but I'm starving, so I vote for changing."
Though it was tempting to put off the inevitable a little longer, Cloud knew he was just being silly at this point. "I've got extra clothes, I sleep here sometimes," he said, picking his way through the flowers to avoid damaging them any further. "You should fit my stuff."
And that was just as odd a thought as all the rest of it. They were almost the same size now, the differences caused by age and strength no longer as clearly defined. Cloud's shirts would be a bit tight over Zack's chest and his pants might be just a little too short, but it would hardly be noticeable.
He turned with a pair of jeans and another t-shirt in his hands. "Here," he offered almost shyly. "I don't have much. I've never really cared about clothes, mostly I just wash and do my best to repair what I'm wearing."
"No problem," Zack assured him, taking the clothes happily. "I'm no clothes-horse myself. This is fine, don't worry about it. What about you?"
Cloud took stock of himself. He didn't have another pair of pants, but the ones he was wearing weren't too bad. The leather duster he wore had taken most of the dirt on his bottom half, and the leather of the pants shed the water easily enough. His shirt was both soaked and dirty, and one of the straps of his pauldron had snapped, leaving the metal shoulder armour only loosely held in place.
"I'll just change my shirt," he decided, and turned his back so he wouldn't have to watch Zack get changed. Even with his eyes firmly fixed on the nearest wall, though, he still blushed as he stripped out of armour and shirt and pulled a new shirt over his head. The leather duster he set aside until he could get a chance to clean the mud now ground into it, and put the metal pauldron on top of it.
He felt half naked in just 'civilian' clothes and his sword belt. On the other hand he had a feeling many wrestling matches like that were probably in his future, and it would be a lot more comfortable without the armour and extra leather to get tangled in.
Smiling at the thought, he turned to find that Zack was just tugging his new shirt on as well. As Cloud had expected it was a little tight, but no worse than the one they'd taken from the lab. Their boots still squelched, of course, but there wasn't much they could do about that.
Disregarding the sword belt at Cloud's waist and the mako glow in their eyes, they could have been any two boys in their twenties just hanging out and having fun. Cloud felt... normal. It wasn't a familiar sensation.
"We're going to have to get me some clothes soon, I can't keep stealing other people's," Zack commented with a laugh, turning and seeing Cloud watching him. "And a weapon. With a proper holster, carrying it around is a pain. But it can wait."
"Yeah. Tomorrow," Cloud promised him. There were a lot of things that still needed to be figured out, now that it was finally sinking in that Zack was here to stay. But all of it could wait until the next day. A slow grin spread over his face. "Now I think it's time to find out if someone really can die of shock."