[Fic] Stop Part 2
Outside the Men’s Room…
Jin let him go…
But why am I not happy?
Ah…because he cried…
He was sad because he can’t be with him anymore…
Jin gave up…because he thought Kame loves me…
I’ve never heard him cry like that…
Not with me…
I want him to be happy...
To be happy with me...
But I know it's impossible...
He loves him way too much...
I just can't possibly fit in the little corner left on his heart and mind.
I know I have to do it...
I should've done these years ago...
I have to let him go...
But just a few more days…
I want to be selfish…
I want to be happy for just a few more days…
After that…I’ll let him go…
I’ll let Jin have him…
I’ll let him be happy without me…
Just a few more days…
Koki can’t keep everything to his chest anymore and so…it came out bursting the form of tears.
Yuichi was silently watching him from behind. He's in tears too.
Why? Why do you try to fit in his heart even though you know it's impossible?
I'm here...
Look at me...
Please...
I'm here and i'm willing to give my whole heart to you...
Please...
Stop treating me as if im invisible...
I know...
I'm inferior to him when it comes to your eyes...
But please...
Stop your heart from saying it out loud...
Cause mine is already drowning in tears...
I love you...
More than anyone else...
More than him...
You don't deserve to be hurt...no...
If i were him, i'd take all your fears and tears away...
But sadly, i am not him...
Can't you love me in the same way as him?
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
At Koki’s apartment...
Koki was preparing dinner when Kame got home.
“Tadaima!”
“Okaeri!”
Kame followed the voice and was surprised when he saw Koki at the kitchen.
“What are you doing?” Kame asked.
“Cooking dinner.” Koki replied as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world then pressed a kiss on Kame’s cheek.
Just let me do this…
Let me do this before it’s too late…
I want to see you happy even though it’s nothing but a façade…
I want to see you smile…
So please…just let me…
Before I give you to him…
I want to remember your smile…
I want to see it before my heart shatters completely…
I want your smile to be the last memory I have before I break…
Why?
Why are you doing this?
Don’t you know? You’re making this harder for me…
I’m tired…I don’t want to pretend anymore…
I don’t want to hide behind this iron mask anymore…
When you’re acting like this, my conscience…I can’t take the look on your face…
You look so happy…
Is this my punishment?
The man I love…loves me back…
But we can’t be together…
This is too much…
The guilt…
The sorrow…
The pain…
Ah yes…I think it’s okay…I deserve this…
This went on for days, and Kame just feels the guilt build up more and more each day. Little did he know…this is his lover’s way to say goodbye…
“Can you stay just for tonight?”
“Koki…”
“We’ll just sleep, I promise…”
Kame just nodded. While Kame is already deep in his slumber, Koki just lied awake beside him. He gently traced the outline of Kame’s face.
This is the last day…
Tomorrow, it’s going to be goodbye…
I love you…
Kame woke up without Koki by his side. He noticed a tray with breakfast in the nightstand and a note stuck under the plate. The note contains just one sentence with bold letters.
Be happy.
He didn’t know what that meant but somehow he feels that his guilt grew. He ate breakfast, took a bath, got dressed and went to work. Everything is just normal.
Why do I feel that something is wrong?
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
KAT-TUN’s Dressing Room…
What did he meant by that?
*flashback*
Jin heard a familiar sound coming from below him that stirred him from his sleep. He checked his alarm clock
Three- thirty in the morning?
Then reached below his pillow to look at the annoying person calling him this early in the morning. To his surprise it’s Koki.
“Koki?”
“Jin. Can you come to the Jimusho earlier today? When everyone is not here yet?”
He got curious but his sleepy mind is too cloudy to process anything.
“Un!”
“Thanks. Jaa!”
“Yeah. Jaa.”
Jimusho…
“Yoh!”
“Jin.”
“Why did you want me to come this early?”
“I have a favor to ask you.”
“Okay…as long as I can do it, then sure.”
“Protect him.”
“Who?”
“Kame.”
“Why are you leaving?”
“No. I just…there’s a reason why I want you to do this. Just trust me. This is for your own good.”
Jin didn’t say anything.
“I guess I’ll take that as a yes.”
*end of flashback*
Jin was brought out of his train of thoughts when he was called for practice.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Practice…
Kame was staring at Jin ever since practice begun.
Jin looks so calm today.
Has he really forgotten about me?
Is moving on that easy for him?
Maybe I should do the same…
Koki noticed that Kame is staring at Jin.
Today will be the last day, love…
Just wait a few more minutes…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
At a café at lunch time...
Let me be the one to break it up
So you won’t have to make excuses
We don’t need to find a set up where
Someone wins and someone loses...
So I’m tellin’ you I love you one last time
And goodbye...
“Kame...”
“Yes?” Kame felt his heart pound.
“You’re free.”
“What? Why?” His eyes are teary.
“I know...you love him, don’t you? You think I can’t see the way you look at him? You can lie but not your eyes. I see how much you love him... you just can’t hurt me...so now, i’m giving you your freedom...be happy...” Koki eyes looks so gentle, calm but sad.
“Koki I-“
“Shhh. No need.”
A few minutes of silence
“I tried.” Kame said it with a smile though his tears are staining his beautiful face.
“That’s enough for me to hear.”
Those two words...
I know that meant goodbye...
But somehow...
It made me feel better...
It made everything worthwhile...
He tried...
He fought...
I wasn’t alone...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Days later...
Jin’s apartment...
Jin was watching T.V though he really didn’t paid attention to whatever he’s watching. He was thinking about what Koki had said.
“Protect him.”
What did he mean?
Did they fight?
Is Kame hurt?
...
Does he know?
But why say that?
Shouldn’t he warn me?
Shouldn’t he tell me to stay away?
He heard a knock. He stood up and walked to the hallway, already expecting who it was but to his surprise it was Kame.
“Kame?”
“uh...hi?”
Everything was awkward between them as they sat on the couch, sipping their beers while watching an action movie. Kame broke the silence.
“Koki broke up with me.”
Jin was more than surprised to hear that.
Is this what he meant?
Is he...is he giving him up?
That doesn’t mean we can be together, right?
He’s still in love with him...
I wonder why Koki chose me...
So he does know after all...
I guess I just have to be a good friend and protect him for Koki...
He’ll come back to him...
I shouldn’t get my hopes up...
I moved on...
I’m done...
Am I really?
I wonder what you’re thinking...
Do you still love me?
Is there someone else?
Am I really that easy to forget?
Am I wrong to expect that you’re still waiting for me?
Am I here for nothing?
He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Jin pointed it out.
“Kame? Are you okay? Why are you crying?” Jin said, worry is evident in his voice.
“Huh? It’s nothing...”
“It’s about Koki isn’t it? Did he found out about what happened at the restaurant? I’m gonna tell him I’m sorry then everything will be fine again.”
Would I really do that?
Even though there’s a large part in my brain saying no?
Even though I feel a pang in my heart just by the thought of seeing you with him?
But it’s the right thing to do, right?
That’s what I should do...
“Are you really gonna give up on me?”
“There’s nothing I can do anymore...”
“You’re gonna give up on me without knowing what I feel?”
“Kame...”
“I’m in love with you, Jin. You left me that’s why I’m with him... but no matter how hard I tried to forget you... I just can’t... I’m with Koki because I thought you don’t feel the same...” Kame found the floor interesting than Jin’s face.
He moved on...
Koki knew about this...
This is the real reason why he said that?
His mind was filled with possibilities, guilt, hope and happiness. The man he loved felt the same all along. All this time they were hiding from each other because of stupid fears. They had hurt another person in the process. Without much thought, he lifted Kame’s chin up then kissed him passionately. Kame responded to the kiss with the same intensity.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Yuichi asked Koki to hang out with him because he heard about his friend’s break up from a four-year relationship.
“Ne...everything’s gonna be fine...you did the right thing...”
“I know...but I still feel like shit.”
“Hey...to love is to let go right? We were taught to open and close our hands during childhood so when we grow up we will know when to hold on and when to let go...” He placed his hand over Koki’s.
Yuichi’s hand feels so warm.
His presence makes me calm.
I wonder why?
He smiled at his friend.
Show me your tears...
Let them fall for now...
It’ll heal in time...
Maybe someday...
We’ll have a chance...
But for now, I’ll be the friend that you need...
~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Jin looked at Kame’s face elumininated by the moon.
He looks so beautiful...
His face is glowing...
His perfect...
And he’s with me...
I feel perfect...
After one last peck on his new lover’s forehead, he succumbed to sleep.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Kame woke up earlier than his alarm clock. He looked at the sleeping man beside him, arms wrapped around his waist. For the first time in his life, he’s happy and contented.
For the first time...
I feel so alive...
I can face everything again...
It’s all because of you...
I should thank Koki for giving me a chance to be with you...
I hope he finds his happiness...
Just like me...
I feel complete...
He returned to his sleep and in arms of the man he loves...
Owari
A/N: Sorry about the ending... I ran out of ideas...well...as for the fic What dreams may come...i’ll finish that soon...then i have a favor to ask you...do you think i should write a sequel for this fic ( Kimi no suki na koto) because I’m sure anymore…leave a comment and tell me what you think…this is confusing feel free to ask questions…this is the longest fic I’ve written so far…phew! Glad it’s done…Lj is being crappy...