Live in the moment, make it count
I am not ready to say goodbye. Tonight was SO much harder than i ever expected, i was doing fiiine up until my first real goodbye, and then it started to hit me, im not coming back. Im not the type of person who takes long vacations away from home, i dont even enjoy them that much, i just cant take being away, missing out on things for so long.
But nonetheless, life goes on. And i am going to make changes because throughout the years ive come across some unforgettable kids, and some who i barely even knew, although i saw them every day, sat next to them, joked with them. And it hit me, in the past few years i feel as if i kinda lost the group of friends i had, and whenever i see them its like i dont know them. like i go to a lot of get togethers, but im hardly ever truly "there" with the group, engaged in conversation. and i wanna change that. like im too distracted by everything around me and whats gonna happen next to be content with where i am in the present, i hate to admit it, but my dad is right, he told me the most important thing that ill learn to live by, is the "be here now" and its so friggen true. I mean yeah ive got my core group, the people ive seen one on one and have had countless conversations with, but that group has diminished each year while it should have been growing. ive jsut gotta pay attention to people this time, and involve myself more, its just so scary how fast things have gone by. mostly because i jsut became better friends with people here and im not sick of them yet. so i am going to put myself out there, force myself to stay aware and focused, so that this time, i can learn a thing or two, and make these moments count.
I love all of my friends and i am going to miss them sooo much, but im actually going to be ok.
<3333 gnight!
But nonetheless, life goes on. And i am going to make changes because throughout the years ive come across some unforgettable kids, and some who i barely even knew, although i saw them every day, sat next to them, joked with them. And it hit me, in the past few years i feel as if i kinda lost the group of friends i had, and whenever i see them its like i dont know them. like i go to a lot of get togethers, but im hardly ever truly "there" with the group, engaged in conversation. and i wanna change that. like im too distracted by everything around me and whats gonna happen next to be content with where i am in the present, i hate to admit it, but my dad is right, he told me the most important thing that ill learn to live by, is the "be here now" and its so friggen true. I mean yeah ive got my core group, the people ive seen one on one and have had countless conversations with, but that group has diminished each year while it should have been growing. ive jsut gotta pay attention to people this time, and involve myself more, its just so scary how fast things have gone by. mostly because i jsut became better friends with people here and im not sick of them yet. so i am going to put myself out there, force myself to stay aware and focused, so that this time, i can learn a thing or two, and make these moments count.
I love all of my friends and i am going to miss them sooo much, but im actually going to be ok.
<3333 gnight!