haha
Here i am, i don't even know how long ago from the last post, i thnk a year and some, i dunno. Any ways, funny thing, I'm here ALL the time, to go onto other communities but i guess i'm a lurker. I don't do much mosting. Infact i haven't done so in a while. So some updates? i could refer you to my xanga or i can complain all over again. Even as i'm writting this i'm realizing i really have not much to complain about. I'm not even in the mood to complain i just want to type really fast and hope it all makes sense to you. press enter and get on my way. I can see that my punctuation is going the way of the dodo... anyways, so all i have to say is that i need some sort of income, i need a job. That's right. So maybe i should actually start applying. That would be a smart move, alas, i'm not that smart. Secondly... i need to buy my text books with the money that i don't have more than half way through the year...smart. i need a bf. You guys REALLY don't need to know this, but i'm completely sexually frustrated. Some people just can't take a hint and some people just need to dump their girlfriends and go out with me. but that's just my opinion and you an i both know that's something better left ignored. Ok. I think that covers it all, i have schooling undercontrol >.> oh shit my mom didn't pay yet.... well anyways... yea..... ok <.< right.... i got sidetracked. i think that was the end of my ranting anyways. i'm tired... i just woke up. i'm hungry. ok, i'm off. ciao, until next time.
OH, as i was filling out the bottom, i realized there is something i would like to expand on and i'm super hoping he...no, he's not the type to blog. Cool. Anyways, there's this guy i'm hopelessly head over heals for (actually there are three of them, but this one is in the amediate vacinity as opposed to toronto and sweden...yea =.= i know how to pick 'em). Anyways, this guy, i've liked him for almost two years now. but didn't realize it until this summer. (on another note linking to this conversation i'm having with the guy from sweden about the taste of sperm, is that the guy from the amediate vacinity would have fruity tasting spermies cause he eats a hell of a lot of fruits.) back to the none suggestive concepts; mister A.V (ammediate vacinity (ha, my spelling is going the way of the dodo too!)) had a gf until last summer so i didn't think much of liking him. When people are off limits they are off limits (but this summer that rule did not apply to mr toronto... i don't know why...anyways!!!!) i've attempted several times to get A.V to somehow hint to me that he and i could possibly go out. I think i'm just his play thing though. entertainment. no sex involved...haha, i think i'd be ok with being his entertainment if there WAS sex involved (is that a cry of desperation... i think so)...moving right along. I sleep in his bed and only with him and yet i don't think it's clicked that i like him. The first time i hardly wore any clothes. but then again when i'm faced with oppertunities my idiot body and mind don't agree and nothing happens because i don't act on it. and now he and i are at a stand still. we aren't talking to each other, i know on my part it's because he told his roommate that i talk too much, and i don't know if he meant it as a joke (i'd have to explain the whole context and i don't feel like it) but he could have been serious and i guess i'm afraid of it being because of the later, because i can't help but to talk a lot and there's no way that i'd stop. He's been doing that a lot lately, making comments that he thinks are funny and some how i just get insulted and hurt and i withdraw from him every time. One night, I got really mad at him, because he only comes out of his room to come and bug me, tickle me and there are a few reasons why this is not ok. I don't like to be ignored. I'm not there for HIS conveniance. when he tickles me it turns me on. when he tickles me, it tickles; he does a lot of tickling. he never touches me any differently, 'cept when we're in bed together, anyways, i got so mad, i pushed him away, told him not to touch me and i'm so glad we were watching a movie because i actually started to cry out of hurt and frustration. it was disgusting! i don't DO crying. but he's made me cry on three occasions and he doesn't know it... maybe i should just come out and say "Hey, Mizuki, I like you, i want to go out with you, i want in your pants, but these are two different concepts.". i dunno though, i've got cold feet and not a single back bone to my name...
I'm off now. =.= this ish making me slightly ticked off with him some more.
OH, as i was filling out the bottom, i realized there is something i would like to expand on and i'm super hoping he...no, he's not the type to blog. Cool. Anyways, there's this guy i'm hopelessly head over heals for (actually there are three of them, but this one is in the amediate vacinity as opposed to toronto and sweden...yea =.= i know how to pick 'em). Anyways, this guy, i've liked him for almost two years now. but didn't realize it until this summer. (on another note linking to this conversation i'm having with the guy from sweden about the taste of sperm, is that the guy from the amediate vacinity would have fruity tasting spermies cause he eats a hell of a lot of fruits.) back to the none suggestive concepts; mister A.V (ammediate vacinity (ha, my spelling is going the way of the dodo too!)) had a gf until last summer so i didn't think much of liking him. When people are off limits they are off limits (but this summer that rule did not apply to mr toronto... i don't know why...anyways!!!!) i've attempted several times to get A.V to somehow hint to me that he and i could possibly go out. I think i'm just his play thing though. entertainment. no sex involved...haha, i think i'd be ok with being his entertainment if there WAS sex involved (is that a cry of desperation... i think so)...moving right along. I sleep in his bed and only with him and yet i don't think it's clicked that i like him. The first time i hardly wore any clothes. but then again when i'm faced with oppertunities my idiot body and mind don't agree and nothing happens because i don't act on it. and now he and i are at a stand still. we aren't talking to each other, i know on my part it's because he told his roommate that i talk too much, and i don't know if he meant it as a joke (i'd have to explain the whole context and i don't feel like it) but he could have been serious and i guess i'm afraid of it being because of the later, because i can't help but to talk a lot and there's no way that i'd stop. He's been doing that a lot lately, making comments that he thinks are funny and some how i just get insulted and hurt and i withdraw from him every time. One night, I got really mad at him, because he only comes out of his room to come and bug me, tickle me and there are a few reasons why this is not ok. I don't like to be ignored. I'm not there for HIS conveniance. when he tickles me it turns me on. when he tickles me, it tickles; he does a lot of tickling. he never touches me any differently, 'cept when we're in bed together, anyways, i got so mad, i pushed him away, told him not to touch me and i'm so glad we were watching a movie because i actually started to cry out of hurt and frustration. it was disgusting! i don't DO crying. but he's made me cry on three occasions and he doesn't know it... maybe i should just come out and say "Hey, Mizuki, I like you, i want to go out with you, i want in your pants, but these are two different concepts.". i dunno though, i've got cold feet and not a single back bone to my name...
I'm off now. =.= this ish making me slightly ticked off with him some more.