(no subject)
"The more I know, the less I understand. I think the best any of us can do is keep on living. The world is unfair and unjust as I have discovered and some of you have as well. Admit it now and let it be part of you but don't let it destroy you, make you cynical, or turn you into an asshole.
"Wait for weird interesting shit to happen. It will and you should revel in it. But you have to keep your eyese open. Most people you and I know have their eyes closed even while they are awake. If you are bored with everything, it's you. It's not the world. If you're angry at everything, it probably is the fault of the world, not you. You are human; you expect more than that. So you should be good and pissed off."
I read this today, and it seemed perfectly right to me. I didn't mean to really examine it, but I think I will.
I think I've let myself become the asshole in this scenario. And I've let the unfairness and unjustness of the world just get to me and make me the worst I could see myself as. But I lashed out in the face of my own anger.
But the one truth is, we've both been lying. To each other and to ourselves. And even though I know this, I am taking no vow of honesty. Because I like these lies where they were before, buried under more layers of deceit. Something has to come of this sometime. And it has to be outed eventually. If we ever talk, and he ever asks, I'll tell. But I'm not voluntarily screwing up my life anymore. Not anymore.
Meegs
"Wait for weird interesting shit to happen. It will and you should revel in it. But you have to keep your eyese open. Most people you and I know have their eyes closed even while they are awake. If you are bored with everything, it's you. It's not the world. If you're angry at everything, it probably is the fault of the world, not you. You are human; you expect more than that. So you should be good and pissed off."
I read this today, and it seemed perfectly right to me. I didn't mean to really examine it, but I think I will.
I think I've let myself become the asshole in this scenario. And I've let the unfairness and unjustness of the world just get to me and make me the worst I could see myself as. But I lashed out in the face of my own anger.
But the one truth is, we've both been lying. To each other and to ourselves. And even though I know this, I am taking no vow of honesty. Because I like these lies where they were before, buried under more layers of deceit. Something has to come of this sometime. And it has to be outed eventually. If we ever talk, and he ever asks, I'll tell. But I'm not voluntarily screwing up my life anymore. Not anymore.
Meegs