Funerals 2
Also, I've given a lot of thought to how we grieve, and the ceremonies we indulge in in an effort to cope with loss.
I have attended many funerals, and there is a spectrum from formal and uptight to relaxed wake, and I far prefer the wake.
The "best" funeral I've been to - yes, that's an odd phrasing, but bear with me - was when my friend Tracy's father died. He was a biker, and used to ride with the Dayton Outlaws. Everyone showed up in bike leather and denim, including the kids. They kids played, and no one shushed them or snapped at them - they weren't in uncomfortable shoes that gave them blisters, the boys didn't wear ties nor the girls frilly dresses. The adults told stories and laughed about all the things they loved about him.... and held a wake, a celebration of this life, and their parts in it. It was so different from most other funerals I'd been to, it made a real impression.
My Uncle's funeral was a mix of both.... the kids were dressed up, but allowed to play in the other room. The memorial was uncomfortable, but they did tell stories - mostly happy - about Skip and such. It's a hard thing, saying goodbye to someone like that. And figuring which direction to head once it's over.
I'm hoping that when I go, folks hold a wake. Get loud, be comfortable, tell silly, stupid or hilarious stories.... have a party, and remind each other why I loved you, or hated you, or whathave you. Why we cared, one way or another. *wry grins* It should be a celebration.
Just my own opinion. I know others have theirs.... but death is a part of life, and it's needful to mourn, helpful to do it with others who understand and share the feelings.
I have attended many funerals, and there is a spectrum from formal and uptight to relaxed wake, and I far prefer the wake.
The "best" funeral I've been to - yes, that's an odd phrasing, but bear with me - was when my friend Tracy's father died. He was a biker, and used to ride with the Dayton Outlaws. Everyone showed up in bike leather and denim, including the kids. They kids played, and no one shushed them or snapped at them - they weren't in uncomfortable shoes that gave them blisters, the boys didn't wear ties nor the girls frilly dresses. The adults told stories and laughed about all the things they loved about him.... and held a wake, a celebration of this life, and their parts in it. It was so different from most other funerals I'd been to, it made a real impression.
My Uncle's funeral was a mix of both.... the kids were dressed up, but allowed to play in the other room. The memorial was uncomfortable, but they did tell stories - mostly happy - about Skip and such. It's a hard thing, saying goodbye to someone like that. And figuring which direction to head once it's over.
I'm hoping that when I go, folks hold a wake. Get loud, be comfortable, tell silly, stupid or hilarious stories.... have a party, and remind each other why I loved you, or hated you, or whathave you. Why we cared, one way or another. *wry grins* It should be a celebration.
Just my own opinion. I know others have theirs.... but death is a part of life, and it's needful to mourn, helpful to do it with others who understand and share the feelings.