What happens to all the Asian American overachievers when the test taking ends?
Really interesting article on how being Asian American affects ability and inability to navigate social hiearchy and professional world
Quotes from the article:
Aspiring Asian leaders had to become aware of “the relationship between values, behaviors, and perceptions.” He offered the example of Asians who don’t speak up at meetings. “So let’s say I go to meetings with you and I notice you never say anything. And I ask myself, ‘Hmm, I wonder why you’re not saying anything. Maybe it’s because you don’t know what we’re talking about. That would be a good reason for not saying anything. Or maybe it’s because you’re not even interested in the subject matter. Or maybe you think the conversation is beneath you.’ So here I’m thinking, because you never say anything at meetings, that you’re either dumb, you don’t care, or you’re arrogant. When maybe it’s because you were taught when you were growing up that when the boss is talking, what are you supposed to be doing? Listening.”
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“White people have this instinct that is really important: to give off the impression that they’re only going to do the really important work. You’re a quarterback. It’s a kind of arrogance that Asians are trained not to have. Someone told me not long after I moved to New York that in order to succeed, you have to understand which rules you’re supposed to break. If you break the wrong rules, you’re finished. And so the easiest thing to do is follow all the rules. But then you consign yourself to a lower status. The real trick is understanding what rules are not meant for you.” This idea of a kind of rule-governed rule-breaking-where the rule book was unwritten but passed along in an innate cultural sense-is perhaps the best explanation I have heard of how the Bamboo Ceiling functions in practice.
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“One of the big things I see with Asian students is what I call the Asian poker face-the lack of range when it comes to facial expressions,” Tran says. “How many times has this happened to you?” he asks the crowd. “You’ll be out at a party with your white friends, and they will be like-‘Dude, are you angry?’ ”
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If the Bamboo Ceiling is ever going to break, it’s probably going to have less to do with any form of behavior assimilation than with the emergence of risk-takers whose success obviates the need for Asians to meet someone else’s behavioral standard.
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If you are an Asian person who holds himself proudly aloof, nobody will respect that, or find it intriguing, or wonder if that challenging façade hides someone worth getting to know. They will simply write you off as someone not worth the trouble of talking to.
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Things to remember:
1 - You are not alone in this struggle to express yourself in ways other people can access readily.
2 - That kind of dominant and outgoing behavior takes practice.
3 - "What's good in life?" "To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women-in my bed!"
4 - Big smile. Bigger than you’ve ever smiled before. Raise your glass in a toast. Make eye contact and hold it. Speak loudly and clearly. Take up space without apology. This is what an alpha male does.
5 - Stand (shoulders thrown back, neck fully extended, legs planted slightly wider than the shoulders) and walk (no shuffling; pick your feet up entirely off the ground; a slight sway in the shoulders) like alpha male, use intonation (different tones to convey different emotions)
Quotes from the article:
Aspiring Asian leaders had to become aware of “the relationship between values, behaviors, and perceptions.” He offered the example of Asians who don’t speak up at meetings. “So let’s say I go to meetings with you and I notice you never say anything. And I ask myself, ‘Hmm, I wonder why you’re not saying anything. Maybe it’s because you don’t know what we’re talking about. That would be a good reason for not saying anything. Or maybe it’s because you’re not even interested in the subject matter. Or maybe you think the conversation is beneath you.’ So here I’m thinking, because you never say anything at meetings, that you’re either dumb, you don’t care, or you’re arrogant. When maybe it’s because you were taught when you were growing up that when the boss is talking, what are you supposed to be doing? Listening.”
---
“White people have this instinct that is really important: to give off the impression that they’re only going to do the really important work. You’re a quarterback. It’s a kind of arrogance that Asians are trained not to have. Someone told me not long after I moved to New York that in order to succeed, you have to understand which rules you’re supposed to break. If you break the wrong rules, you’re finished. And so the easiest thing to do is follow all the rules. But then you consign yourself to a lower status. The real trick is understanding what rules are not meant for you.” This idea of a kind of rule-governed rule-breaking-where the rule book was unwritten but passed along in an innate cultural sense-is perhaps the best explanation I have heard of how the Bamboo Ceiling functions in practice.
---
“One of the big things I see with Asian students is what I call the Asian poker face-the lack of range when it comes to facial expressions,” Tran says. “How many times has this happened to you?” he asks the crowd. “You’ll be out at a party with your white friends, and they will be like-‘Dude, are you angry?’ ”
---
If the Bamboo Ceiling is ever going to break, it’s probably going to have less to do with any form of behavior assimilation than with the emergence of risk-takers whose success obviates the need for Asians to meet someone else’s behavioral standard.
---
If you are an Asian person who holds himself proudly aloof, nobody will respect that, or find it intriguing, or wonder if that challenging façade hides someone worth getting to know. They will simply write you off as someone not worth the trouble of talking to.
---
Things to remember:
1 - You are not alone in this struggle to express yourself in ways other people can access readily.
2 - That kind of dominant and outgoing behavior takes practice.
3 - "What's good in life?" "To crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and to hear the lamentation of their women-in my bed!"
4 - Big smile. Bigger than you’ve ever smiled before. Raise your glass in a toast. Make eye contact and hold it. Speak loudly and clearly. Take up space without apology. This is what an alpha male does.
5 - Stand (shoulders thrown back, neck fully extended, legs planted slightly wider than the shoulders) and walk (no shuffling; pick your feet up entirely off the ground; a slight sway in the shoulders) like alpha male, use intonation (different tones to convey different emotions)