Pectoralis Majorette
I go to the gym everyday. Wait. I go to the gym everyday so I can get girls. Girls want guys who have big pectoral muscles, or "pecs." The problem is that my pecs are smaller than a hummingbird's pecs. Birds actually have very big pecs, compared to their body size, but not when compared to my body size. So, in summary, I have small pecs, and I go to the gym everyday to make them bigger so I can get girls desire my pecs, and by extension, me. Pecs.
When I am at the gym, I go to every machine that has pectoralis major darkened on the "muscles worked" dummy. My goal is to one day be that muscle-bound dummy; I want grown men with hummingbird-sized pecs to stare at me, the muscle dummy, and wish they were me. Because of all the girls I must obviously get. Then when I go to the gym I no longer have to work out, I just go up to all the girls and say "You see the muscle dummy? That's me- I'm the muscle dummy. How would you like to tell your parents you're dating a famous muscle dummy?" And then I'd add her to the list. Muscle dummy.
Also, once I'm all muscly I'll be able to join in all the muscle-talk. "Workin' the pecs today, Hummingbird?" they'll ask, since by then hummingbird will be my gym name. One of those ironic gym names. And I'll say "you know it Monkey Bars" or whatever his gym name may be. High fives may occur, and most likely some arm wrestling. Then we'll go get smoothies at a smoothie place where we are known by both our real name and our gym name, or nom de gym. And the girl behind the counter will gush and ask me if I want the usual, and I'll wink and say "No, why don't you put a little extra protein in. I worked my pecs today."
When I am at the gym, I go to every machine that has pectoralis major darkened on the "muscles worked" dummy. My goal is to one day be that muscle-bound dummy; I want grown men with hummingbird-sized pecs to stare at me, the muscle dummy, and wish they were me. Because of all the girls I must obviously get. Then when I go to the gym I no longer have to work out, I just go up to all the girls and say "You see the muscle dummy? That's me- I'm the muscle dummy. How would you like to tell your parents you're dating a famous muscle dummy?" And then I'd add her to the list. Muscle dummy.
Also, once I'm all muscly I'll be able to join in all the muscle-talk. "Workin' the pecs today, Hummingbird?" they'll ask, since by then hummingbird will be my gym name. One of those ironic gym names. And I'll say "you know it Monkey Bars" or whatever his gym name may be. High fives may occur, and most likely some arm wrestling. Then we'll go get smoothies at a smoothie place where we are known by both our real name and our gym name, or nom de gym. And the girl behind the counter will gush and ask me if I want the usual, and I'll wink and say "No, why don't you put a little extra protein in. I worked my pecs today."