Fic: Wasteland Wandering
Title: Wasteland Wandering
Author: Midvacent/Lexi
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Rating: PG, for a few swear words
Summary: “I’m going insane,” He muttered. “I must be.”
It was hot. Damn hot. Hotter then a snake’s ass in a wagon rut… was that how it went?
Cameron decided that right now he really didn’t care. Perhaps it was the heat getting to him, but he was pretty sure they’d been walking in circles for the last… well, he wasn’t sure exactly, but it had been long enough.
“Vala,” his voice sounded dry, like everything on this planet. “I think that maybe it’s time to call it quits.”
“Now you say that?” Daniel, covered in sweat and grime, was giving him no sympathy whatsoever.
Sam mumbled something that sounded like: ‘… shower… cold, cold, shower… shower… bath… rubber duck… apple sauce…’ Cam did a double take and rubbed his face vigorously. “I’m going insane,” He muttered. “I must be.”
He looked back over at Sam. Still trudging on, hair plastered to her head, she wiped her brow and looked over at him. Her face said: I blame you for this and tonight I’m going to go get drunk.
Cam sighed. He didn’t blame her. Trudging up hills of rubble and dirt in 45 degree heat wasn’t his idea of ‘a quick, painless, easy mission’ either. But when had their missions ever been any of those things?
Vala had roped -scratch that- manipulated him into dragging Sam and Daniel along on a wild goose chase to find ‘very important relic/weapon/techno-thing #786.’
Teal’c, when he had heard about the whole thing, had said nothing. He had laughed though, laughed and then offered his services as ‘moral support’.
So here they all were, out in the sun and covered in dust and grime, with at least one Lieutenant Colonel on the way to lala-land. Such were the life and times of SG-1.
“Vala,” he called up to her. She ignored him. Time to bring out the big guns then…
“Vala! We’re going home! This mission is done! Right now!” He puffed slightly from the exertion, and licked his dry lips. Where was his damn water bottle?
Vala, her long dark pigtails a little less perky then usual, turned around with her hands on her hips. She blew a stray hair out of her face.
“Ok.” She shrugged and started climbing down the boulders.
“I… what?” Cam expected moaning, lots of moaning, and at least an argument of some sort.
“I said ok.” They’d all turned around now, Teal’c taking lead.
“But… weren’t you the one that was so desperate to come here and find… what was it? ‘The Large Hand of Teflon?’”
“‘The Long Hand of Tel’ka’” She spoke to him as if he were a five year old “I wasn’t… desperate, I was merely… interested in the idea of gaining some new technology. If we can’t find it, we can’t find it.” She shrugged again and took a swig from her water bottle.
Cam’s eyebrows shot up.
“But… I… the only reason I’ve been following you for the last…” He frowned “hours… is because you absolutely, positively were very, very sure that this was very important.”
“Whatever gave you that idea?” Vala gave her best innocent-as-an-angel look. Cameron glared at her. She gave a sigh and looked around at the others for support.
“Was I the on that was so enthusiastic that I went around practically begging people to come?”
“Yes.” Cam said, without hesitation, but for some reason no one else had agreed. “What? Come on guys, it was her idea.”
“And yet, it was you who was at my door at 3am explaining how ‘awesome’ and ‘easy’ this was going to be.”
“Aw, c’mon Daniel, how was I supposed to know this planet was in the middle of its summer solstice? She didn’t bother to mention it. And besides, what’s the time got to do with anything? It’s not like you were sleeping!”
Daniel opened his mouth to retort, but then seemed to be overcome with something… Daniel-like, and closed it again.
“Forget it,” he said. “I’m too tired to argue with you about the pointlessness of this whole thing.” He made a grumbling noise and moved down to catch up with Teal’c.
“Sam,” Cameron appealed. “C’mon Sam, it was Vala’s idea, this is her fault!” Sam eyes slid from him, to Vala, and back to him again.
“She didn’t bang on my door when I was asleep.” She passed him and went down the hill.
“Well it’s not like I forced you to come!” he yelled at their retreating backsides.
Vala walked beside him with her hands shoved in her pockets and a faux expression of seriousness on her face. She opened her mouth to say something.
“You know I-”
“Just forget it.” Cameron sighed. “God, I always hated summer.”
Vala reached over and patted him on the arm. “Don’t worry. They’ll get over it… eventually. I suggest you beg for forgiveness and buy them all alcoholic beverages for a month.”
“You think that’ll actually work?”
“Probably not. But think of it this way, when we’re not all busy saving the universe they’ll be too drunk to hate you… except Teal’c. That man is impossible to drink into submission.”
“And you know this because you tried, didn’t you?”
Vala nodded. “The day after I was made a proper member of SG-1. I had a headache for a week.” Cameron smirked at that.
“You know,” Vala gave her trademark grin, “I always did love summer.”
He looked her straight in the eye. “I hate you.” He said. “This is all your fault.”
Vala nodded her head from side to side as if weighing up his statement. “Well, yes… But it’s your own fault for actually believing me.”
She had him there. Still…“Why are you so damn sadistic?”
She actually looked hurt for a moment. “I was told this planet had a mild climate, and was relatively flat, you know.” She gestured to the barren foot-hilled wasteland they were currently trekking across.
“Seriously?” Vala nodded. They stood in silence as the moment passed.
“Oh.” Was all he could think to say.
“Yeah.”
“I…”
“Forget it.” She said.
Maybe it isn’t always her fault… he looked at the ground. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, like she was letting go of something. When he looked at her again she was all cheer and smiles.
“So… I’m thinking on top of the alcohol we should buy them some sunscreen, or calamine lotion or whatever you call it.” Cam noticed the ‘you’ had turned into ‘we’.
He smiled at her. “Sure… and maybe some chocolate too, huh?”
“Definitely.”
They walked off together into the sweltering sunset. Well, until Cam tripped over a rock.
Author: Midvacent/Lexi
Fandom: Stargate SG-1
Rating: PG, for a few swear words
Summary: “I’m going insane,” He muttered. “I must be.”
It was hot. Damn hot. Hotter then a snake’s ass in a wagon rut… was that how it went?
Cameron decided that right now he really didn’t care. Perhaps it was the heat getting to him, but he was pretty sure they’d been walking in circles for the last… well, he wasn’t sure exactly, but it had been long enough.
“Vala,” his voice sounded dry, like everything on this planet. “I think that maybe it’s time to call it quits.”
“Now you say that?” Daniel, covered in sweat and grime, was giving him no sympathy whatsoever.
Sam mumbled something that sounded like: ‘… shower… cold, cold, shower… shower… bath… rubber duck… apple sauce…’ Cam did a double take and rubbed his face vigorously. “I’m going insane,” He muttered. “I must be.”
He looked back over at Sam. Still trudging on, hair plastered to her head, she wiped her brow and looked over at him. Her face said: I blame you for this and tonight I’m going to go get drunk.
Cam sighed. He didn’t blame her. Trudging up hills of rubble and dirt in 45 degree heat wasn’t his idea of ‘a quick, painless, easy mission’ either. But when had their missions ever been any of those things?
Vala had roped -scratch that- manipulated him into dragging Sam and Daniel along on a wild goose chase to find ‘very important relic/weapon/techno-thing #786.’
Teal’c, when he had heard about the whole thing, had said nothing. He had laughed though, laughed and then offered his services as ‘moral support’.
So here they all were, out in the sun and covered in dust and grime, with at least one Lieutenant Colonel on the way to lala-land. Such were the life and times of SG-1.
“Vala,” he called up to her. She ignored him. Time to bring out the big guns then…
“Vala! We’re going home! This mission is done! Right now!” He puffed slightly from the exertion, and licked his dry lips. Where was his damn water bottle?
Vala, her long dark pigtails a little less perky then usual, turned around with her hands on her hips. She blew a stray hair out of her face.
“Ok.” She shrugged and started climbing down the boulders.
“I… what?” Cam expected moaning, lots of moaning, and at least an argument of some sort.
“I said ok.” They’d all turned around now, Teal’c taking lead.
“But… weren’t you the one that was so desperate to come here and find… what was it? ‘The Large Hand of Teflon?’”
“‘The Long Hand of Tel’ka’” She spoke to him as if he were a five year old “I wasn’t… desperate, I was merely… interested in the idea of gaining some new technology. If we can’t find it, we can’t find it.” She shrugged again and took a swig from her water bottle.
Cam’s eyebrows shot up.
“But… I… the only reason I’ve been following you for the last…” He frowned “hours… is because you absolutely, positively were very, very sure that this was very important.”
“Whatever gave you that idea?” Vala gave her best innocent-as-an-angel look. Cameron glared at her. She gave a sigh and looked around at the others for support.
“Was I the on that was so enthusiastic that I went around practically begging people to come?”
“Yes.” Cam said, without hesitation, but for some reason no one else had agreed. “What? Come on guys, it was her idea.”
“And yet, it was you who was at my door at 3am explaining how ‘awesome’ and ‘easy’ this was going to be.”
“Aw, c’mon Daniel, how was I supposed to know this planet was in the middle of its summer solstice? She didn’t bother to mention it. And besides, what’s the time got to do with anything? It’s not like you were sleeping!”
Daniel opened his mouth to retort, but then seemed to be overcome with something… Daniel-like, and closed it again.
“Forget it,” he said. “I’m too tired to argue with you about the pointlessness of this whole thing.” He made a grumbling noise and moved down to catch up with Teal’c.
“Sam,” Cameron appealed. “C’mon Sam, it was Vala’s idea, this is her fault!” Sam eyes slid from him, to Vala, and back to him again.
“She didn’t bang on my door when I was asleep.” She passed him and went down the hill.
“Well it’s not like I forced you to come!” he yelled at their retreating backsides.
Vala walked beside him with her hands shoved in her pockets and a faux expression of seriousness on her face. She opened her mouth to say something.
“You know I-”
“Just forget it.” Cameron sighed. “God, I always hated summer.”
Vala reached over and patted him on the arm. “Don’t worry. They’ll get over it… eventually. I suggest you beg for forgiveness and buy them all alcoholic beverages for a month.”
“You think that’ll actually work?”
“Probably not. But think of it this way, when we’re not all busy saving the universe they’ll be too drunk to hate you… except Teal’c. That man is impossible to drink into submission.”
“And you know this because you tried, didn’t you?”
Vala nodded. “The day after I was made a proper member of SG-1. I had a headache for a week.” Cameron smirked at that.
“You know,” Vala gave her trademark grin, “I always did love summer.”
He looked her straight in the eye. “I hate you.” He said. “This is all your fault.”
Vala nodded her head from side to side as if weighing up his statement. “Well, yes… But it’s your own fault for actually believing me.”
She had him there. Still…“Why are you so damn sadistic?”
She actually looked hurt for a moment. “I was told this planet had a mild climate, and was relatively flat, you know.” She gestured to the barren foot-hilled wasteland they were currently trekking across.
“Seriously?” Vala nodded. They stood in silence as the moment passed.
“Oh.” Was all he could think to say.
“Yeah.”
“I…”
“Forget it.” She said.
Maybe it isn’t always her fault… he looked at the ground. She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, like she was letting go of something. When he looked at her again she was all cheer and smiles.
“So… I’m thinking on top of the alcohol we should buy them some sunscreen, or calamine lotion or whatever you call it.” Cam noticed the ‘you’ had turned into ‘we’.
He smiled at her. “Sure… and maybe some chocolate too, huh?”
“Definitely.”
They walked off together into the sweltering sunset. Well, until Cam tripped over a rock.