*rawrrrrr!*
Okay, I'm in a shitty mood right now, so I need to vent.
The bigger I get, the more miserable I am. I'm DONE with this whole pregnancy nonsense (though I want be beebs to stay in there as long as he needs to in order to finish cooking). I don't know why in the hell I decided to do this in the first place. My body just aches CONSTANTLY. Oh, also the bigger I get, the more exhausted I am, but the less I can sleep because I'm so fucking uncomfortable, plus I'm up every 2-3 hours to pee. I guess I'm getting ready for when he gets here, lol. However, right now, anyone in my path should fear my hormonal wrath, and trust me, it ain't pretty. I'm so damn hot all the time, I want to CRAWL OUT OF MY SKIN. Where in the bloody hell did SPRING go??? All right, I'm happy that the weather finally warmed up, but seriously...we went from 40 degree days to 80 degree days in less than a week. I guess that's Indiana for ya, though. Watch, next month there will be a blizzard. The state motto should be, "Don't like the weather? Stay five minutes; it'll change."
Oh, and this stupid DIET!!! I don't care about sticking myself with sharp, pointies six times a day, but I want a fucking Hershey bar...a glass of OJ...french fries...potato chips...a blueberry muffin...Oreos...
I'm worried about money b/c we've overspent our budget, so now I don't even know if we're going to have enough to pay the bills while I'm on maternity leave, which is stressing me the fuck out. Then, there are diapers and wipes to buy, groceries, etc... I don't know what we're going to do if we run out of money. Then, Lowell tells me not to worry about it, and that it'll be fine, and I realize he's only trying to help me calm down, and I appreciate it, but seriously...that's not going to help me calm down. I don't know what to do. The money is already gone; it's not coming back. Now I need to figure out some sort of budget plan so I feel like I'm at least trying, and I'm being active instead of passive about it. Maybe I'll do that at work tonight, if I have the time. Then, on top of being worried about money, there is still a lot of stuff we need to get for the baby that I know no one else is getting us. I need a breast pump, nursing wear, and a sling, the most important of those being the breast pump so I can go ahead and start storing milk for when I go back to work. I figure it will be easier to do it from the beginning rather than play catch-up later one. The second most important of those is the sling...there are too many benefits of babywearing to list here, and it will allow me to actually get crap done around the house when I'm on maternity leave, because I will have free hands. Lastly, I know the nursing wear isn't a *must* at this point in time, but if I want to be discreet when nursing in public (like when we go to Memphis to visit my dad this summer), then I should have some stuff on hand.
Okay, so it's all stuff I need, but it still doesn't make me feel any less guilty knowing I'm going to be spending money to get it.
I'm also nesting like mad, and even when the house is straight, it's driving me NUTS b/c it's not CLEAN ENOUGH. I'm going on a bender this weekend. I have to get the tub scrubbed and the kitchen floor mopped... By the way, is it creepy that a bender for me involves cleaning??
The worst part is that I feel like I don't have much of a stress outlet. I quit smoking, and even if I do have the occasional half-glass of red wine, it's not like that's going to take the edge off. (Though, thanks to those that have listened to me gripe about this several times. It really does help.) THANK the GODS that I have a four-day weekend this week. I need it so badly.
Well, thanks for listening to me gripe. I really appreciate it. :) Now I have to go get ready so I can get my errands done before work.
lovelove.
The bigger I get, the more miserable I am. I'm DONE with this whole pregnancy nonsense (though I want be beebs to stay in there as long as he needs to in order to finish cooking). I don't know why in the hell I decided to do this in the first place. My body just aches CONSTANTLY. Oh, also the bigger I get, the more exhausted I am, but the less I can sleep because I'm so fucking uncomfortable, plus I'm up every 2-3 hours to pee. I guess I'm getting ready for when he gets here, lol. However, right now, anyone in my path should fear my hormonal wrath, and trust me, it ain't pretty. I'm so damn hot all the time, I want to CRAWL OUT OF MY SKIN. Where in the bloody hell did SPRING go??? All right, I'm happy that the weather finally warmed up, but seriously...we went from 40 degree days to 80 degree days in less than a week. I guess that's Indiana for ya, though. Watch, next month there will be a blizzard. The state motto should be, "Don't like the weather? Stay five minutes; it'll change."
Oh, and this stupid DIET!!! I don't care about sticking myself with sharp, pointies six times a day, but I want a fucking Hershey bar...a glass of OJ...french fries...potato chips...a blueberry muffin...Oreos...
I'm worried about money b/c we've overspent our budget, so now I don't even know if we're going to have enough to pay the bills while I'm on maternity leave, which is stressing me the fuck out. Then, there are diapers and wipes to buy, groceries, etc... I don't know what we're going to do if we run out of money. Then, Lowell tells me not to worry about it, and that it'll be fine, and I realize he's only trying to help me calm down, and I appreciate it, but seriously...that's not going to help me calm down. I don't know what to do. The money is already gone; it's not coming back. Now I need to figure out some sort of budget plan so I feel like I'm at least trying, and I'm being active instead of passive about it. Maybe I'll do that at work tonight, if I have the time. Then, on top of being worried about money, there is still a lot of stuff we need to get for the baby that I know no one else is getting us. I need a breast pump, nursing wear, and a sling, the most important of those being the breast pump so I can go ahead and start storing milk for when I go back to work. I figure it will be easier to do it from the beginning rather than play catch-up later one. The second most important of those is the sling...there are too many benefits of babywearing to list here, and it will allow me to actually get crap done around the house when I'm on maternity leave, because I will have free hands. Lastly, I know the nursing wear isn't a *must* at this point in time, but if I want to be discreet when nursing in public (like when we go to Memphis to visit my dad this summer), then I should have some stuff on hand.
Okay, so it's all stuff I need, but it still doesn't make me feel any less guilty knowing I'm going to be spending money to get it.
I'm also nesting like mad, and even when the house is straight, it's driving me NUTS b/c it's not CLEAN ENOUGH. I'm going on a bender this weekend. I have to get the tub scrubbed and the kitchen floor mopped... By the way, is it creepy that a bender for me involves cleaning??
The worst part is that I feel like I don't have much of a stress outlet. I quit smoking, and even if I do have the occasional half-glass of red wine, it's not like that's going to take the edge off. (Though, thanks to those that have listened to me gripe about this several times. It really does help.) THANK the GODS that I have a four-day weekend this week. I need it so badly.
Well, thanks for listening to me gripe. I really appreciate it. :) Now I have to go get ready so I can get my errands done before work.
lovelove.